Meet and greet gifts

[FirstCruiseBeth]

For our first cruise last year, and not knowing what to expect, I brought what we in the UK call a tea towel, decorated with Scottish flowers. I thought it might remind the recipient of the occasion but if not, at least it was practical. As it happened, our luggage was delayed for several days so we never got to join in the gift exchange. I'm not sure I'll take part in any exchange should there be one on our upcoming Panama Canal next year.

[iheartbda]

Dani negreanu, sorry you had to be the subject of such criticism and had to come back to explain. No matter how innocent a post can be, there will always be those who take umbrage and pick it apart.

[wwcruisers]

We had an absolutely optional gift exchange at one of our RC meet-n-mingle parties. The idea was for everyone to bring something representative of their region. One person brought a beautiful framed feather from Oklahoma. The gift we received was a small collection of key chains from Indianapolis (which I still use). But, someone brought a handful of Halloween pencils -- I'm still confused about those. But, I am reasonably sure that they were under the $10 limit. :rolleyes:

[OCruisers]

People often attend the M&G where a gift exchange is an option ... without participating in the gift exchange part. We don't do the gift part but still enjoy attending. :D

 

LuLu

[ewenix]

Dani negreanu, sorry you had to be the subject of such criticism and had to come back to explain. No matter how innocent a post can be, there will always be those who take umbrage and pick it apart.

 

My sentiments exactly.

[MNfamilycruiser]

We have done small food items that are made in /represent our state. Wild rice, Chokecherry jelly, Pearson's candy. Or a coffee mug from the Mall of America.

 

Our favorite item we received was from London -from Fortnum & Mason - The Queen's Diamond Jubilee United Services Tin with tea and biscuits inside. :D

Edited September 21, 2015 by MNfamilycruiser

[TrqoisWtrs]

Dani negreanu, sorry you had to be the subject of such criticism and had to come back to explain. No matter how innocent a post can be, there will always be those who take umbrage and pick it apart.

 

I completely agree. Its a small $10 gift. I would think the people participating in the meet and greet go into the exchange knowing they could receive something they don't like, or don't have any use for. For the person who brings maple syrup - are you sure that was a good idea? Yes, this time the person loved it, but what about next time? What if the person who receives it hates pancakes? Now you've offended them and have given them the impression you are trying to convert them over to the flapjack side. :D

[GUT2407]

I completely agree. Its a small $10 gift. I would think the people participating in the meet and greet go into the exchange knowing they could receive something they don't like, or don't have any use for. For the person who brings maple syrup - are you sure that was a good idea? Yes, this time the person loved it, but what about next time? What if the person who receives it hates pancakes? Now you've offended them and have given them the impression you are trying to convert them over to the flapjack side. :D

 

Yep.

 

If I got a bottle of wine it would be a waste.

 

But that is perhaps what I would give, coming from a pretty major wine region, and knowing MOST love it.

 

Maple Syrup, I love it, but am Diabetic.

 

Personally I think the gift exchange isn't a very good idea.

[GUT2407]

Not everyone is Christian. What did you do for people who did not appreciate being given a cross? It makes for discomfort on their part and maybe ? on your part.

 

They are strangers. Who knows what they want or what religion they may be?

 

I so agree. I'm not a Christian and feel this is more a gift you give directly to a person you feel would treasure it. And yes, I understand no one has to take it, but to me, it's an assumption that everyone is the same religion.

 

The only way the poster could know if a person would enjoy receiving a cross from a stranger is to ask them or if he/she sees them wearing a cross.

 

There is nothing polite, cordial or welcome to meet someone new and just about right away ask their religion.

 

Actually, the poster said "whom I thought would appreciate them", not "know would appreciate them." It is presumptuous to assume that someone would enjoy a religious gift unless the giver were absolutely certain of the recipient's religious interests. Giving religious items to strangers reeks of evangelism. A meet and greet event is NOT the place to spread one's religious beliefs.

 

I couldn't imagine my short answer to a legit question would result into such a "religious" debate, and to clarify all the points raised in the above quotations, I'd like to explain:

 

I'm a 65 years Jewish woman, VERY nonbeliever and nonobservant. BTW, Judaism is not a missionary religion. People asking to convert are facing many hardships and difficulties.

 

But, to the point: Sometimes you participate in a roll call over more than 1 year, people get more "personal" and speak about themselves.

 

I assume that I'm the only one posting from Israel on this forums. Many times people notice where I live and comment. For example: "I wish I could visit Jesus's birthing place, making the pilgrimage on Via Dolorosa, visit Nazareth, the Sea of Galilee, Beth-Lehem, etc.", BUT "I can't afford, it is too far, I can't fly, it's too dangerous, etc." A safe bet they are Christians.

 

Or, during the "conversations" on the roll call they mention being part of a church group, or just went to Mass, or their grandkid just had his confirmation -- a safe bet they are Christians.

 

Friendships are formed on those roll calls with people who arrange a private excursion, you exchange e-mails, and everyone is talking a little more about themselves.

 

I had crosses with me for the exact number of people whom I knew for sure that they are 1. Christians 2. will appreciate my gesture for what it is - a small token from the Holy Land. When we actually met, I took one of them out and asked with a smile "Would you like a small memento which I brought especially for this occasion from Jerusalem".

 

EVERYONE was moved and thankful for my gesture.

 

Ah, and one more thing - for my upcoming M&M on the Anthem next week - nobody expressed any interest in my being from Israel - no gifts [no crosses] this time :)

 

 

That's actually what I took you to mean.

 

You get to know people on the roll call.

 

Sorry you got so much flack.

 

I must say with all the talk about Chrisians and non-Christians etc, the first thing that crossed my mind was " I bet the person (want sure if a man or woman) from Israel isn't a Christian anyway, more likely to bevJewish and a Cross from a Jew would have more meaning.

[springfire]

Not everyone is Christian. What did you do for people who did not appreciate being given a cross? It makes for discomfort on their part and maybe ? on your part.

 

They are strangers. Who knows what they want or what religion they may be?

 

I so agree. I'm not a Christian and feel this is more a gift you give directly to a person you feel would treasure it. And yes, I understand no one has to take it, but to me, it's an assumption that everyone is the same religion.

 

The only way the poster could know if a person would enjoy receiving a cross from a stranger is to ask them or if he/she sees them wearing a cross.

 

There is nothing polite, cordial or welcome to meet someone new and just about right away ask their religion.

 

Actually, the poster said "whom I thought would appreciate them", not "know would appreciate them." It is presumptuous to assume that someone would enjoy a religious gift unless the giver were absolutely certain of the recipient's religious interests. Giving religious items to strangers reeks of evangelism. A meet and greet event is NOT the place to spread one's religious beliefs.

 

I couldn't imagine my short answer to a legit question would result into such a "religious" debate, and to clarify all the points raised in the above quotations, I'd like to explain:

 

I'm a 65 years Jewish woman, VERY nonbeliever and nonobservant. BTW, Judaism is not a missionary religion. People asking to convert are facing many hardships and difficulties.

 

But, to the point: Sometimes you participate in a roll call over more than 1 year, people get more "personal" and speak about themselves.

 

I assume that I'm the only one posting from Israel on this forums. Many times people notice where I live and comment. For example: "I wish I could visit Jesus's birthing place, making the pilgrimage on Via Dolorosa, visit Nazareth, the Sea of Galilee, Beth-Lehem, etc.", BUT "I can't afford, it is too far, I can't fly, it's too dangerous, etc." A safe bet they are Christians.

 

Or, during the "conversations" on the roll call they mention being part of a church group, or just went to Mass, or their grandkid just had his confirmation -- a safe bet they are Christians.

 

Friendships are formed on those roll calls with people who arrange a private excursion, you exchange e-mails, and everyone is talking a little more about themselves.

 

I had crosses with me for the exact number of people whom I knew for sure that they are 1. Christians 2. will appreciate my gesture for what it is - a small token from the Holy Land. When we actually met, I took one of them out and asked with a smile "Would you like a small memento which I brought especially for this occasion from Jerusalem".

 

EVERYONE was moved and thankful for my gesture.

 

Ah, and one more thing - for my upcoming M&M on the Anthem next week - nobody expressed any interest in my being from Israel - no gifts [no crosses] this time :)

 

Just a beautiful response!

[iheartbda]

Just a beautiful response!

Yes, and I hope some of the people who posted a knee jerk reaction are feeling pretty silly right now.

[sail7seas]

Many here may have heard a generally accepted suggestion as to appropriate table talk conversation when meeting new people. While all may not agree, many feel it best to avoid such topics as money, religion and politics. There are good reasons for that generally accepted unwritten rule.

 

My reaction is not knee jerk or ill considered. It is my opinion and no more nor any less valid than anyone else's. I think giving religion articles a very bad idea for a M & G and nothing I have read here has changed my thinking but I'll keep reading in case someone does write something that might influence me to change my mind. :)

 

Edited September 21, 2015 by sail7seas

[Putterdude]

I don't want to sound like a snob because I really do enjoy meeting people at M&Gs and always attend them however, I have absolutely no interest in joining in a gift exchange. IMO they are a complete waste of time and money. The last thing I need is a $10 item from Podunk, Arkansas which I will likely throw in the trash once I get back to the cabin. I really wish M&G organizers would drop the idea of gift exchanges.

[iheartbda]

Many here may have heard a generally accepted suggestion as to appropriate table talk conversation when meeting new people. While all may not agree, many feel it best to avoid such topics as money, religion and politics. There are good reasons for that generally accepted unwritten rule.

 

My reaction is not knee jerk or ill considered. It is my opinion and no more nor any less valid than anyone else's. I think giving religion articles a very bad idea for a M & G and nothing I have read here has changed my thinking but I'll keep reading in case someone does write something that might influence me to change my mind. :)

 

First of all, no one said YOUR opinion is any more or less vaid than anyone else's.:) No one is advocating giving religious gifts as something generally accepted. If you don't see how and why what the person in question did as being different than just willy nilly giving something religious, you don't see it.;)

[PTMary]

First of all, no one said YOUR opinion is any more or less vaid than anyone else's.:) No one is advocating giving religious gifts as something generally accepted. If you don't see how and why what the person in question did as being different than just willy nilly giving something religious, you don't see it.;)

 

The person in question in post #2, her first on this thread, said nothing about knowing for certain that they would like a gift with religious overtones. It was only in post #24 that she provided more detail that told us that she has gotten to know these people quite well. Her exact words in that 2nd post are "... had crosses with me for the exact number of people whom I knew for sure that they are 1. Christians 2. will appreciate my gesture for what it is..."

 

If this is what she had shared with us in the first post, there would have been no controversy about her actions.

 

So, if you want to chastise people for reading her first post and not getting the complete story, you also need to chastise the original poster for not giving us the full story in the first place.

 

Religion is a very personal matter. If one wants to introduce any aspect of religion into a public discussion group such as CC, they need to be aware that such introduction may not be well received by many.

 

It is better to just keep it completely out of any discussion with strangers.

Edited September 22, 2015 by PTMary

[PTMary]

[quote name='iheartbda']First of all, no one said YOUR opinion is any more or less vaid than anyone else's.:) No one is advocating giving religious gifts as something generally accepted. If you don't see how and why what the person in question did as being different than just willy nilly giving something religious, you don't see it.;)[/QUOTE]

The person in question in her first post, post #2 in this tread, said nothing about knowing for certain that they would like a gift with religious overtones. Her exact words were "...[B]whom I thought[/B] would appreciate them..." That statement implied that she was not certain.

It was only in her 2nd post, #24 in this thread, that she provided more detail that revealed to us that she had gotten to know these people quite well. Her exact words were "... had crosses with me for the exact number of people [B]whom I knew for sure[/B] that they are 1. Christians 2. will appreciate my gesture for what it is..."

If this is what she had shared with us in the first post, there would have been no controversy about her actions.

So, if you want to chastise people for reading her first post and not getting the complete story, you also need to chastise the original poster for not giving us the full story in the first place.

Religion is a very personal matter. If one wants to introduce any aspect of religion into a public discussion group such as CC, they need to be aware that such introduction may not be well received by many. It is better to just keep religion completely out of any discussion with strangers. Edited September 22, 2015 by PTMary

[GUT2407]

[quote name='dani negreanu']I bought some olive wood crosses in Jerusalem and gave them at the M&M to people whom I thought would appreciate them.

Indeed, they were.[/quote]

[quote name='PTMary']The person in question in her first post, post #2 in this tread, said nothing about knowing for certain that they would like a gift with religious overtones. Her exact words were "...[B]whom I thought[/B] would appreciate them..." That statement implied that she was not certain.

It was only in her 2nd post, #24 in this thread, that she provided more detail that revealed to us that she had gotten to know these people quite well. Her exact words were "... had crosses with me for the exact number of people [B]whom I knew for sure[/B] that they are 1. Christians 2. will appreciate my gesture for what it is..."

If this is what she had shared with us in the first post, there would have been no controversy about her actions.

So, if you want to chastise people for reading her first post and not getting the complete story, you also need to chastise the original poster for not giving us the full story in the first place.

Religion is a very personal matter. If one wants to introduce any aspect of religion into a public discussion group such as CC, they need to be aware that such introduction may not be well received by many. It is better to just keep religion completely out of any discussion with strangers.[/quote]


Yep they only said the gifts were appreciated.

And here you are telling people what they can and can't talk about.

[All That Jazz]

Recently we went to a meet/greet with about 270 participants. The gift exchange table was at the front of the venue with maybe 8 or so gifts lined up on a table. Obviously not much interest.

IMO, it's a harmless activity that attracts a few -- and very easy to ignore.

[LA_CA_GAL]

[quote name='donaldsc']What if the recipient is not Christian. What is he supposed to do with a cross.

DON[/QUOTE]

I would sincerely thank them, and then give it to someone that would appreciate it.

Or, I might get really irate and kill them on the spot. :rolleyes:

Depends on what mood I am in at the time.

[maryjaden]

I am fairly new to cruise critic, but I enjoy following the posts. I find most of it informative AND amusing. We have a pretty active group on our roll call and are planning the Meet and Mingle.

While no one has brought up the gift exchange yet, my thought is that these are generally optional. It's like any party, you may not receive something you like, but be gracious and say thank you. After all, it's pretty simple, if you don't enjoy it, don't participate.

[OCruisers]

[quote name='All That Jazz']Recently we went to a meet/greet with about 270 participants. The gift exchange table was at the front of the venue with maybe 8 or so gifts lined up on a table. Obviously not much interest.

[B]IMO, it's a harmless activity that attracts a few -- and very easy to ignore[/B].[/QUOTE]

Exactly! :)

[iheartbda]

PTMary, in what you quoted, I was only chastising, as you put it, AFTER the person came back to explain. Also, I responded to Sail so she didn't think I was singling out her.:)

In my previous post, "hope some are feeling silly right now" was also after the explanation so maybe some of the naysayers would see things in a different light. Sorry I didn't post in detail for a way for you to follow so I wouldn't be chastised.;)

[GUT2407]

[quote name='All That Jazz']Recently we went to a meet/greet with about 270 participants. The gift exchange table was at the front of the venue with maybe 8 or so gifts lined up on a table. Obviously not much interest.

IMO, it's a harmless activity that attracts a few -- and very easy to ignore.[/QUOTE]

Not that hard really is it?

I wonder what they do if great aunt Jane gives them what hey think is an inappropriate gift at Christmas?

[iheartbda]

[quote name='GUT2407']Not that hard really is it?

[COLOR="Red"]I wonder what they do if great aunt Jane gives them what hey think is an inappropriate gift at Christmas[/COLOR]?[/QUOTE]

Haven't you ever heard of re-gifting? I've even heard stories of the gift making it back to the original gifter. :D:D:D

[GUT2407]

[quote name='iheartbda']Haven't you ever heard of re-gifting? I've even heard stories of the gift making it back to the original gifter. :D:D:D[/QUOTE]

But I be they don't get all abusive on Great Aunt Jane, l some in this thread have.