12 year olds - cruising - teen club

[ctrinco]

Our oldest is 12 and we are going on the Oasis soon. On our previous cruises we checked him in and out of the kids club - but now that he's 12 he moves up to the teen club where he will have the ability to come and go as he pleases.

 

I've read a few threads on the teen club and Oasis, but not much about how to manage a pre-teen who is entering that new territory.

 

So I'm wondering:

• How did you check in with them throughout the cruise?
  
• When/where did they meet the friends they spent time with?
  
• Did your 12 yr old spend more time with the friends they met or the family?
  
• Any tips or tricks?
  

 

I'm a wee bit nervous about giving him all that freedom. Our intention is to continually check in with him throughout the day and that he would not have free run of the ship and/or cabin. Just wanting to gather some experienced thoughts on ground rules and expectations.

[KsucAts]

I would be interested in this also, but on the Liberty (if that would be any different). My son is 12 now & daughter is 14. We have been on several Disney cruises with the latest one being in May of this year. We gave them pretty much freedom to do whatever, but they had to check in with us every so often - especially if they were going to the pool or Aquaduck. That was easy to do because we all had our smart phones with the app and could easily communicate back and forth. My understanding is that we won't have that on Royal - at least from what research I have done so far.

[mnh]

My gds cruise with me and have been since they were 2 years old. They are now 12 and 16....we have a rule that they have to check in with me every 2 hours by leaving a message or a post it note in the cabin. They also must eat breakfast and dinner with me and attend some of the shows. They also go to the teen club the first night because it seems this is when the kids start "bonding" and a group is formed. My oldest now has 26 cruises and I have never had a problem.

[cb at sea]

You tell your child where you'll be, and have him find you when his plans change....that way, you can SEE your child....which is much better than texting!!!!

[KsucAts]

You tell your child where you'll be, and have him find you when his plans change....that way, you can SEE your child....which is much better than texting!!!!

 

But that limits my options. I want to be able to change my plans without having to hunt down my children.

[djmess]

My son is 12. We have a white board that we hang up in the cabin. We both write notes to each other where we are and the time. We've also called the cabin and left messages for each other.

 

My son is a very experienced cruiser and has had freedom since we was 10. Some cruise lines allow sign in and out privileges around age 9 and 10.

 

You know your child. Set expectations and all will work out great.

 

We are doing the Allure for my son's 13th Bday in May.

[jewel_beth]

I have the same worries for our Feb cruise on Liberty. My son turns 12 in January. Would like to hear how others have handled it...

[T.O.cruisers]

How strict is Royal with allowing the kids to go with an older group. My grandkids are all two years apart so they are all almost 16, almost 14 and almost 12. The youngest, very mature for her age, will be 12 at the beginning of February. Will she be allowed to hang out at the teen club with her 13 year old sister?

[Deatsch]

I guess I just don't understand.

 

You're wanting child rearing advice from complete strangers in a public forum?

 

Really?

[T.O.cruisers]

I guess I just don't understand.

 

You're wanting child rearing advice from complete strangers in a public forum?

 

Really?

 

Maybe you don't understand; but that's OK. I'm not asking for child rearing advice. I reared three kids to adulthood without problems. I'm merely asking if Royal is strict regarding the age groups of the preteen and teens. Really!!!

[Grandma Dazzles]

Maybe you don't understand; but that's OK. I'm not asking for child rearing advice. I reared three kids to adulthood without problems. I'm merely asking if Royal is strict regarding the age groups of the preteen and teens. Really!!!

 

 

Yes. They are pretty strict; however it can also depend on numbers - something you have no control over until you are actually on board.

[djmess]

I don't know how strict Royal is in their age groups, but I do know the Teen groups are divided into 2 categories: Ages 12-14 and Ages 15-17. At least that is what it says on the Website. Basically ages 12 and up are considered Teens.

[MaddyandMax]

Just got off the Liberty and the 12 year olds were running amok in packs. I travel with kids and was actually appalled. My oldest is 8 and that won't be happening when. She is older. My parents travelling with us actually stopped 4 of them from stealing chocolate bars in the general store.

 

Most kids behave themselves but the ones that have no parents monitoring them just roamed around. They even threw stones all over the floor from the plants and laughed while some poor worker tried to vacuum them up. I actually spoke to the leaders when I went to pick up my 3 year old and 8 year old. They said they have no control over them when they leave the club. Which I get. I just wish some parents would be more responsible.

[ctrinco]

I guess I just don't understand.

 

You're wanting child rearing advice from complete strangers in a public forum?

 

Really?

 

 

Just trying to make informed choices as we make our own plan for managing our child. It does not hurt to hear others experiences who have already been through it.

 

But thanks for your opinion.

[mil76]

How strict is Royal with allowing the kids to go with an older group. My grandkids are all two years apart so they are all almost 16, almost 14 and almost 12. The youngest, very mature for her age, will be 12 at the beginning of February. Will she be allowed to hang out at the teen club with her 13 year old sister?

 

The subgroups in teen club are 12-14 and 15-17, so 12 & 13 will be together anyway.

 

As for the older group, I have heard of the older teens being mean to the "12, but very mature" kids trying to hang with the older teens in teen club. You are basically talking about 6th graders with high school seniors in the most extreme case, so I don't think I'd want my kid in that situation anyway.

[TalkingTravel]

I am a travel journalist, keen cruiser and the mother of a 12 year old boy. I really hope you find the following info and tips and tricks helpful. Some of it has come from interviews I’ve done with kids club staff. Other stuff is from me. I hope you and your family have a wonderful cruise!

 

It can be good to have a family meeting and set some ground rules prior to the cruise to avoid misunderstandings that could spoil the holiday mood once you are onboard. For example, Are your kids allowed to have friends back to the cabin? Do they have to return by a specific time each day? Can they get themselves treats at the buffet between meals? We use a notebook in the room for messages to help keep track of each other and have a mandatory 10pm curfew.

 

We also have a ‘mandatory check back’ time when everyone needs to be back in the room. Our time tends to be between 4.30pm and 5pm but it could be anytime. We use this to touch base and see how everyone’s day is going and make any final arrangements for the evening. More often than not our son would choose to stay to hang out with us for an hour or two around this time, either in the room or around the ship.

 

We have a rule that everyone needs to have one meal a day together (it doesn’t have to be the same one each day, you can have a family meeting and agree on what this will be the day before). We grown ups prefer to have a romantic dinner so it’s seldom in the evening for us, but you might feel differently. We love the fun of ticking the little boxes for breakfast and then having breakfast in bed as a family or squeezing onto the balcony. A burger for lunch can be fun too or sometimes we go to the main dining room for lunch together on sea days.

 

Once he has sign out privileges, your son might want to spend all his time hanging out with his friends and not so much time with you. To combat this we schedule ‘family challenges’ rather than calling it ‘mandatory family time’ (even though it is!). Our familyof three chooses an onboard activity each that everyone had to try (even if they aren’t keen!). On Voyager of the Seas it was Flowrider (me), climbing wall (Dad) and mini golf (son). It is extra fun if you award a small ‘prize’ from the onboard gift shop for the ‘winner’ of each challenge. We all had a ball trying activities that we wouldn’t normally do and even surprised ourselves sometimes (although my dodgy attempt at the climbing wall on Voyager of the Seas is probably best forgotten!). We did one of these activities each day (or a repeat of a favourite activity once we had done them all).

 

This info is from a Kids Club manager and is important for that age group (perhaps even some 9-11 year olds too). Even if your teen says they aren’t sure if they will join the program, it is very important for them to attend on the first day as this is when friendships are formed. If your child skips this session but decides to join in a few days later, it can be much harder for them to make friends.

 

Our son made friends at the kids club in the first 2 or 3 days and they usually met there and then went off and had a meal together or did an activity. Sometimes he and his friend would arrange to meet in a designated spot, other times they would stay at the club depending on what was on.

 

We liked the fact that on a cruise our son could have the independence to enjoy a more ‘grown up’ relationship with his friends in a safe environment.

 

Bon voyage and happy cruising!

Edited November 12, 2015 by TalkingTravel
typos

[mollyeilis]

I guess I just don't understand.

 

You're wanting child rearing advice from complete strangers in a public forum?

 

Really?

 

 

How is answering the following questions *parenting* advice?

 

Seems to me it's "how to do these specific things on a cruise", and "what happened with you" advice.

 

 

So I'm wondering:

• How did you check in with them throughout the cruise?
  
• When/where did they meet the friends they spent time with?
  
• Did your 12 yr old spend more time with the friends they met or the family?
  
• Any tips or tricks?
  

 

 

 

OP I've just realized that on our cruise next year December DS will be 12 and these issues and questions will be ours as well! Hoping that sometime in the next year Royal copies ONE thing Disney has created, and that's the "navigator app"....a "compass app" where you can text using free wifi would be awesome!

[conandrob240]

12 was a weird age for my nephew when we cruised with him. I think I remember him spending more time with us. He had full freedom to sign in and out and it wasn't an issue. He was responsible and did as asked. But I think he felt the activities weren't to his liking at that age.

 

I am concerned about the way RCCL limos 12-17 together. Seems like it's a recipe for trouble. Most cruises have a tween program that spans 11-13 or similar leaving term club to the older kids.

[Grandma Dazzles]

12 was a weird age for my nephew when we cruised with him. I think I remember him spending more time with us. He had full freedom to sign in and out and it wasn't an issue. He was responsible and did as asked. But I think he felt the activities weren't to his liking at that age.

 

 

 

I am concerned about the way RCCL limos 12-17 together. Seems like it's a recipe for trouble. Most cruises have a tween program that spans 11-13 or similar leaving term club to the older kids.

 

 

Groups are 12-14 and 15-17. However, on cruises with few kids, such as longer cruises, TA , etc., the groups may be mixed.

[mikechass]

But they didn't want to do much without us.

Both my kids, have done two cruises, and both times they really didn't do a lot without my hubby and I.

We ate all meals together, we went swimming together, we went to shows together and we did activities together. I would say that 90% of the time we were a group of 4 doing everything.

That was important to the kids, even more then it was to me.

He may surprise you!

Aside from some pick up basketball games in the evening between dinner and the shows, he was with us and his sister (he was 13 she is 10) pretty much steady.

We just did a 19 day trip in January/February (2 week cruise well b2b, and travel days) so it wasn't just a few days away either.

That is something they talk about weekly here. Enjoy the trip!

Safe Travels

Chass

[dcgrumpy]

I took a cruise this past summer with a 12yo and 14yo. The group was mixed together because there weren't many of teens on the cruise. But the kids more or less broke themselves into separate groups and hung out with kids around their own age.

 

I made sure they both went to the meet and greet the first night to meet other kids.

 

We would leave messages on a pad in the room or leave messages on the phone. We'd each check in a few times during the day. I have a younger daughter who was in the kids club so when I went to pick her up I would peek in the teen club to see if my other two were in there.

 

On sea days they spent most of their time with friends. My son who we normally have to drag out of bed would set his alarm every morning so he could get up and meet friends for breakfast.

[Jenjer]

My kids are both experienced cruisers and both can sign themselves in and out. There is no signing in and out for Teen club but at around 9 or 10 they can sign themselves out of kids club.

 

They must absolutely make it a priority to go to the first night mixer. That's when the kids make their new cruise friends. Everyone is new most don't have built in friends and are looking for someone to hang out with.

 

We tend to eat all meals together but that's our family rule. At that point we figure out our schedule. If my DD (13) wanted to skip a lunch or 2 that's not a issue for us as long as we get together for dinner. She usually heads off to the teen activities after dinner and stays out until curfew.

 

The texting plan is a must not only for the kids to get in touch with each other but also to communicate with their parents.

 

We also put a charging budget on the kids. If they don't have a drink plan we add the cost of a couple of drinks say $20 a day. We check the account statement often so no surprises. Kids don't go to buy high ticket items just drinks and video games but that can add up so best to keep an eye on it. Anything over $20 they have to ask.

 

On ship days my DD (13) spends more time with her friends than us but that's okay she is a great kid and she is on vacation too. On Port days she is stuck with us until we get back on board. My DS (11) is shyer and spends more time with us period. Next year when they are both in teen club that will be the weird time. At 11 DS does not like kids club when he was younger he loved it.

[RCAlltheWay]

We cruised several times when I was that age. My parents allowed for me to sign myself in and out. Like someone else said, you know your child. Yes, I was in a group of kids and a few misbehaved, but the well-behaved children just broke off and chose not to participate in the mischievous behavior. I did spend most of the time with my friends, but frequently ran into my parents during the day and ate dinner in the MDR as a family. I think the notes to update your locations is a good idea, because there were times I wanted to be with my family, but couldn't find them.

 

As far as the age span within the group, I never noticed it. Most older teens are allowed to come and go, and I'm sure they would choose to leave before they would "leave out" or pick on the younger teens.

Like I said, I never had that issue.

 

I have to say that I think it is a great way to start giving your teen a little more freedom. There aren't really many opportunities that you are able to let your young teens do their own thing and not have to worry about their safety. Obviously, if your teen hasn't proven to be trustworthy then this doesn't work. For me, it was nice knowing my parents trusted me and I was very cautious with that freedom.

[mil76]

Another FYI for 12 year olds is the cut-off to participate in certain activities without parent supervision (such as the Flowrider and ice skating) is 13, and it seems the ships are tightening up on that requirement as I have experienced the enforcement with my then 12 YO and witnessed it with others over the past year.

 

This means that, in addition to having to be present when they want to do these activities during the day, when the teen club has their teen ice skating and teen Flowrider events, you also have to be present for them to be allowed to participate. It definitely cramps their style when mom or dad has to sit there and watch them during the teen event. I basically went and acknowledged to the teen staff that I was there and then hid in plain sight as best I could. You'll also have to plan around it since those events are in the late evenings.

[groispb]

is there a meet and greet on the first day in Adventure Ocean (? not sure if the name of the club is right)? my son will be 11 when we sail

 

thanks