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Majesty 3/14 -A Kiss Goodbye & a few slaps in the face

JohnGaltny
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kdnurs

kdnurs

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The Final Screed of the Vanishing Banshee

 

Let me start by saying that this was a terrific time for all and none of what is outlined here made this a bad, or even mildly disappointing, cruise. I have loved Majesty the way one always have a soft spot for ones first girlfriend. Still, we have all (me, the girlfriend and the ship) gotten older and all gotten tired.

 

Majesty definitely needs the refit due next month and it was obvious that RCI is not doing anything until then.

There was a busted window in the dining room on 4 deck that was covered (expertly) with plywood. At least three of our friends had room safes that just stopped working and took some time to fix. In fact, on debarkation day I heard a desperate college kid telling the steward that he couldn’t get his safe open and couldn’t get off the ship. I don’t care about carpets and such but the millions of feet on the public areas have taken their toll.

 

At one point I was briefly stuck in one of the glass elevators when the doors decided to take lunch hour. I felt like the bass player in Spinal Tap trying to get out of the Stonehenge cocoon. If someone had put a “Do not feed or annoy” sign on the glass I would have been an exhibit.

 

Likewise, the behind the scenes cutbacks are more obvious to veteran cruisers. I already discussed the management letting a really good chef down with inferior procurement policies.

We never did get one of those breakfast room service cards but I saw one and the choice was basically cold cereal or “continental” choices. No more eggs, bacon, savories or other things my wife and I love enjoying on our balcony in the mornings. Since we didn’t have a balcony this was irrelevant to us but still.

 

We didn’t have Flushin Roulette or the Sauerkraut Cookoff odors this trip but the safe issue was a real pain for our friends and it appears RCI must have cut back on maintenance to the extent that a couple of new batteries in the lock is too much to expect.

 

While I’m at it, I should tell you that, barring unforeseen circumstances, this will be my last review for awhile.

As I said, we are done with the Caribbean and, at least in this hemisphere, the total cruise costs (fare + drinks + everything else) together with the quality declination no longer justifies exclusion of the all-inclusive land vacations option. After 15 cruises in 7 years it’s time for a break from the ships until I can afford to try one out of Barcelona, now hopefully planned for 2018. Until then I will depend on Sailor Jack, Yorkville and several others to give me the laughs and inspiration they always have.

 

That’s it for me, my time has come, the bell now tolls for me, and so, my moving pen has writ, and having writ, moves on.

 

I sincerely thank all those who have followed my demented ramblings throughout the years.

To SOPO and the others who have earned me 6 warnings and given me a ton of laughs, I remove my cap to you if we are face to face and a different item of clothing if my back is to you.

 

 

I really enjoyed your writing..God Speed and God Bless :D

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Alohaaloha

Alohaaloha

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I absolutely loved your review- I think it's probably the first time I've read every single post thoroughly instead of skipping through. Your wit and humour and the eloquence of your writing made it a pleasure to read - thanks very much!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

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QueenofKrakatoa

QueenofKrakatoa

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As always with one of these screeds I forgot a few things.

 

One was a life lesson even for me.

 

I have often kidded (well sort of kidding) that certain swimwear observed aboard made me want to wash out my eyes with acid. Didn't really see any of those on this trip BUT I did learn how to simulate the feeling quite effectively.

 

On day 2 I was on GDD duty in the pool. After an hour or so I needed to cool off so I dived in. When I came up I learned that it's never a great idea to wear contact lenses in a salt water pool.

 

I also learned that the word "contact" means exactly that when it comes to the horrifying mixture of salt and cornea. I would gladly have stood under Niagara Falls with open eyes to flush them out.

 

I too wear contacts, and I too learned that lesson on my first cruise 15 years ago. I imagine that's what washing your eyes with acid is really like.

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JohnGaltny

JohnGaltny

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I agree. Opposite views are always interesting.

 

However the Carribots and SOPO would beg to differ.

 

Thanks for the review, always enjoy your wit. Will miss it here on these boards. Safe travels wherever you decide to go.

 

As I said, I'm not leaving. If I did, I'd at least want to attend the celebration.

 

Thanks for the precise and entertaining review , you never disappoint !

I completely understand that cost is up and service is down , have pondered myself on the value of the cruising get aways lately , will see how the Dominican Republic treats us in 2017 .

I raise a glass , and thank you for the effort , perhaps one day our paths will cross

 

If we do I'll buy the drinks, just nothing with an umbrella. :p

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JohnGaltny

JohnGaltny

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As always, I loved your review and got my chuckles for the day. So sorry to hear that we won't be hearing from you for a while; however, I know that after you have your pocket picked in Barcelona we will be in for a real treat!

 

Thanks Truffles. You gave me something to look forward to in Barcelona.

 

Thanks for the chuckles...........have always enjoyed your wit!

 

Appreciate your appreciation. My wife thinks you are half right about my wit.

 

Your review was the most entertaining I have read for a long time. Saying there won't be any more for the foreseeable future is like stopping the motor of the world. Who is John Galt?

 

Thanks Acturian. I don't think I'll even stop an engine on RCI (and Carnival does that on it's own) much less the world. However, since you know the correct question we are already best friends.

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JohnGaltny

JohnGaltny

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That's the first review that I haven't rolled my eyes at. Jolly good, sir.

 

Thank you. You may be the first person ever who didn't roll her eyes at me. My wife and son can do full 360s with theirs.

 

If I can offer any advice to such a literary genius, I hear, but maybe it's another CC rumor, that they have a highway and bridges to the outer islands known as the Keys. I think it goes all the way to Key West!

 

I have heard of such a bridge but have never actually seen one. Thank you.

 

John, I see in your review that you were a musician in your "younger" years. I am very curious to know what you do for a living. It HAS to be something creative or artsy. Your review was amazing..and thank you for my daily laugh.

 

Thanks champagne. I have had many jobs and several careers. I put myself through college as a musician and EMS medic for my hometown PD. Ran my own law firm for 20+ years and was counsel to a City for 10.

 

Nowadays, I take pictures of gorgeous young women and am constantly reminded "you're SOOO over". Unfortunately I can't show you any of them without getting sent to the principal, however, if you'll settle for a cell phone photo, here's my youngest model and the queen of the Majesty.

 

162831739.jpg

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ckfred

ckfred

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I have never understood why the Majesty did Nassau, CoCo Key, and Key West, instead of Key West, CoCo Key, and Nassau.

 

It's a pain, when a ship "re-enters" the U.S. before its final port of call. There were issues on the Jewel, when it docked at Bar Harbor after 2 ports of call in the Canadian Maritimes.

 

I agree that I'm done with the Caribbean, and I've only done the Bahamas, St. Thomas, and St. Maarten. I'm a history buff, and my wife was a history major. Yet, Caribbean islands don't have a lot of historical attractions, when compared to Europe or the U.S.

 

Shopping in the Caribbean isn't like shopping for sweaters in Iceland or finding a nice billed cap at a small men's store in London. My son can never find much in the Caribbean, but he bought a lot of Viking-themed items in Norway on our Brilliance cruise last summer.

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JohnGaltny

JohnGaltny

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Excellent review--thank you!

 

Now I need to dry off my monitor. It seems to have gotten soaked with coffee spray after I read the "sauerkraut cookoff" line (among others)...

 

Thanks 3Cats. I owe you a screen cleaning.

 

 

Thank you for the brilliant review! Your literary wit kept me transfixed! I will have to seek your prior reviews!

 

Easy enough. Just look below for the whole tawdry list.

 

 

As my last review entry I should note that we had eerily calm seas the whole time. My drug regime, usually worthy of Hunter Thompson, remained in the kit and Jack Daniels q 0.5h, prn was sufficient for every day except the plane rides.

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tamtot

tamtot

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Not sure which one Tamtot but then again, I rarely listen to myself.:D

 

 

Originally Posted by JohnGaltny View Post

 

And so there was evening and morning on the first day.

 

Made me smile every single time. Can't wait to catch up on your previous reviews. Sad I'm late to the party, just getting here when you're leaving.

Beautiful granddaughter. Grands are the best:-)

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laedw

laedw

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Thank you so much for your review! I thought it was very witty and actually laughed out loud several times (I read it at work and my co-worker definitely could tell I was not taking care of company business by my sudden outbursts of laughs). I will have to read your past reviews and I wish you well in your future travels. :D:D

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JohnGaltny

JohnGaltny

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Thanks JTB. Really glad you enjoyed it.

 

I agree that this trip was probably it for Majesty. I'm not sure if dropping a lot of the planned renovations means RCI will drop the prices back to current levels but, either way, Port Canaveral is our absolutely last choice in Florida. Plus losing Key West makes her itinerary pretty much useless to us.:(

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LizzieandLuke

LizzieandLuke

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At one point I was briefly stuck in one of the glass elevators when the doors decided to take lunch hour. I felt like the bass player in Spinal Tap trying to get out of the Stonehenge cocoon. If someone had put a “Do not feed or annoy” sign on the glass I would have been an exhibit.

 

Even someone with a BA in English Lit can appreciate a Spinal Tap reference!:D:D

 

Thanks for the great review.

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