Pre-teens on board

[gigem_aggies]

We will be traveling with my entire family in July, including my 12 year old nephew, 12 year old niece, and 11 year old daughter. I know that they will have the freedom to sign themselves in/out of Camp Ocean/Circle C, but I'm curious as to how "safe" that actually is. At what age are there kids just roaming? I mean, I totally trust them to get where they are supposed to go and to be respectful of other guests (ie no running, screaming, etc.), but is this something most other parents do of trustworthy kids? We've never cruised with our kids, so I guess I've never paid attention to what the kids do on cruises!

[sardam]

My oldest just turned 11 and we will not be giving him the signing in and out privleges. I trust him, no worries there. He's very responsible for his age. But really we are on a ship with a couple thousand other guests that I don't know the history of. Anyone can be on there. Having the three together as you mentioned would make it much safer, and yes other parents let their children roam.

Last cruise my kids met a friend who I never saw the parents of. He was 7 and roamed the ship all day, no camp or anything would just play with anyone that came near the ping pong or mini golf. He tried following us into our cabin a couple times but we wouldn't let him of course. At that age I thought it was unsafe, but I guess he was fine.

[cccer]

Our son has been cruising with us for years and we always gave him the freedom to check himself out. To me it's not so much if anything can happen, it's how much you trust your kids. Something bad can happen anywhere, they eventually have to be let out. If we knew he would get in trouble, we would not have taken him.

 

Everyone parents differently so I guess it's a matter of what your are comfortable with.

[Organized Chaos]

As far as seeing kids roaming, yeah, you most definitely will. We saw plenty by themselves, including many who were young enough that, if it were our son, we probably wouldn't give him free reign like that. A lot of parents seem to treat the ship like one big babysitter and go do their own thing. I agree with sardam, there's a few thousand strangers on board and that's a heck of a lot of trust in others to let young ones roam free. I admit I'm a little old fashioned, so I think there is such a thing as being too young to be without parental supervision all day every day. Besides, part of the enjoyment of taking your kids is spending time with them while you're there.

 

Maybe give them a little time to be on their own, but make sure they let you know what their plans are. I'd recommend a lanyard of some kind for their S&S card because kids will be kids and might lose it. Make sure they know how to get back to your cabin or show them what the crew look like in case they get turned around and need to ask for help. Even for adults, it can take time to get the lay of the land. In the end, you know your kids best and between you and the rest of us here, you're the only one who can decide what's best for them.

[cruisela2012]

My son's favorite activity at camp are the scavenger hunts - where the kids go out in groups to find things on the ships. The kids can't participate in this activity without sign out privileges. Just something to think about - we don't really let him roam otherwise.

[kctwinmommy]

Like someone else said, it all depends on your parenting. Our son went on his first cruise when he was 12 also. Although we did go with another couple who had a 13 year old son who had been cruising his entire life. So he was able to show him the ropes a bit, and it gave him someone to hang with, that we knew. But, they didn't stay together all the time, we'd see them with other kids too, and not each other.

 

We give our son limits and guidelines, he is told when he has to be back in the room for what reasons, etc... He also knows what he can and can't do. We haven't had any problems and he's been able to have fun. He usually just goes to Circle C to meet up with some of the other kids and then they'll go out around the ship sometimes or hang out there too. I know I was worried when we first went with him, but it will all be fine!

[teknoge3k]

My son was 12 on our last cruise and he did not like the kid clubs. He met another friend who was 13 and them 2 did their own thing. They stayed between the pool, the ice cream machine, pizza place and the arcade. We saw kids much younger doing their own thing as well. Al that we saw were pretty well behaved. It's the OLDER teenage girls we saw getting in the most trouble.

[Sweet Dutch Girl]

What do folks consider the problems a ship full of people pose to their "responsible" children? Having researched cruise lines I haven't read any articles or reviews that indicate that kids are susceptible to dangerous situations, have been attacked, or have been "molested" in any way.

 

The biggest concern may be kids using the pool unsupervised when they can't swim...but, again, I have only read about one drowning and the parent was close by.

 

Actually rating all vacations for "kid safety" a cruise line seems to rank very, very high. Do people have evidence to the contrary?

[Drazil65]

As far as seeing kids roaming, yeah, you most definitely will. We saw plenty by themselves, including many who were young enough that, if it were our son, we probably wouldn't give him free reign like that. A lot of parents seem to treat the ship like one big babysitter and go do their own thing.

 

THIS...I agree with this statement and we never gave our son the ability to sign himself out (although it has been a couple of years since he has gone to circle C as he did not like it). This past cruise on Magic he had just turned 14 and for the first time he was allowed to "roam" with a check in with us every 90 minutes at a predetermined location.

 

 

This was mostly in the evening after dinner as we are busy during the day in port most days (4 port days this last time) and on sea days it was afternoons until dinner time when we would meet back at cabin to get ready. This mostly happened because he actually ran into a good friend from his school who just happened to be on same cruise with family. That made it easier to give him more freedom to roam with friends BUT note that there were some older kids (in the 16 to 18 yr old age range) that also hung out with one of the kids that happened to be in the ever growing group that we were not comfortable with. Had to make some decisions at that point in his availability to hang out after a certain time later in evening.

[Drazil65]

Double post

[bigdintn]

Took my 12 year old on our first cruise last year, I went over some ground rules about being on the ship and got the hub app on his phone so we could stay in contact with everyone in our group, I would give him 2 hour window to go play in the arcade or swim or whatever but he had to come find me so I could see him in person at each time point and he had to let me know if he changed his mind about what he was going to be doing so I knew where he was supposed to be, we never had a problem, this also depends on the maturity and trust level of your child, I have know other 12 year olds I would let out of my sight! Remember its vacation for all of you let your kids enjoy theirs also, it all a matter of trust and you know your kids best!

[Smithkids5521]

My oldest just turned 11 and we will not be giving him the signing in and out privleges. I trust him, no worries there. He's very responsible for his age. But really we are on a ship with a couple thousand other guests that I don't know the history of. Anyone can be on there..

 

This right here! I agree 100%!! My DD will turn 11 in July- and when we cruise in August she will not be able to sign herself in and out of camp. We plan on taking full advantage of the new Hub app with chat feature- so if she wants to be signed out for a scavenger hunt or because she's bored, we will just come and get her. For the most part she usually only likes to go to camp in the evenings after dinner anyway and maybe stay for night owl- at which point I wouldn't really want her wandering the ship at 10pm just as I wouldn't let her wander my neighborhood at 10pm. ;)

 

Now my 14 year old son- since he will be in Circle C, he can come and go as he pleases, but of course we have rules (certain predestinated check in times, no going into anyone's cabin that we do not know, etc.)

 

I did purchase the bubbles program for both of them so if they wanted a soda, they can just order one and not need mom or dad around.

Edited March 21, 2017 by Smithkids5521

[asalligo]

We saw some really bad behavior by some preteens on the Dream last week. They were making rude comments to everyone as they walked by in the promenade. Really rude comments. It made me wonder if my children had ever been a part of groups like these. I would be mortified to think so, and my girls assure me that they never were. My oldest daughter, now 20, left club O2 when she was 15 and said that it was an uncomfortable environment with a lot of unsupervised hooking up going on. At the time, I thought there was much more supervision at both Circle C and Club O2 than there actually was.

[sk8rmomof3]

Call me overprotective but I already told my 13 year old she will not be leaving or going anywhere without supervision. It's my first cruise with kids, but I don't let her roam in a hotel, I'm certainly not letting her roam on a ship! It;s not her I'm worried about. She is a great kid. I'm worried about people that can open their room doors and just pull her in and I'd never know. I'm worried that she could get pushed overboard. I know, I know. I'm a worry wart. But I'd rather be safe than sorry!

[NitsirK21]

Call me overprotective but I already told my 13 year old she will not be leaving or going anywhere without supervision. It's my first cruise with kids, but I don't let her roam in a hotel, I'm certainly not letting her roam on a ship! It;s not her I'm worried about. She is a great kid. I'm worried about people that can open their room doors and just pull her in and I'd never know. I'm worried that she could get pushed overboard. I know, I know. I'm a worry wart. But I'd rather be safe than sorry!

Wow! Hopefully you lighten up a bit when she meets some friends. Or will you not allow that either?

 

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[cuppycakemom]

Our girls, 14 and 12, will be in the Circle C for the first time on our next cruise, and so will be able to come and go as they please. They will have the HUB app and know that they will have to stay together at all times. They are responsible kids, and we will give them some freedom (ie, to leave the club and get ice cream, things like that), so long as they communicate to us where they plan to be. I think it helps that there are two of them. I sure couldn't be so lax with just one.

 

Maybe our family is in the minority? I don't see a need for them to be all over the place alone. I'm comfortable with them walking around most places, and I'm sure they will a bit (they tend to put together videos, and will probably take a lot of photos) but don't want them heading to our room (Empress) really. Whether or not it makes sense, we will have them stick around us more so after evening falls.

 

Maybe it's just the kids I have? We actually tend to hang out together on the ship (their grandparents who live 5 states away will be along as well). We play cards and trivia, see shows together, eat meals together, swim, etc etc. If we leave the ship, they come with us. For us, our cruise purpose is to spend time together, not apart. However, this will differ for others. To each their own.

 

And, to your question, we've seen kids (usually at least preteen) running around all over alone...some behaving wonderfully, and some acting like I wanted to shout, "where are you parents?". It all depends on what YOU and THEY are comfortable with.

Edited March 21, 2017 by cuppycakemom

[Thrilled2012]

What do folks consider the problems a ship full of people pose to their "responsible" children? Having researched cruise lines I haven't read any articles or reviews that indicate that kids are susceptible to dangerous situations, have been attacked, or have been "molested" in any way.

 

The biggest concern may be kids using the pool unsupervised when they can't swim...but, again, I have only read about one drowning and the parent was close by.

 

Actually rating all vacations for "kid safety" a cruise line seems to rank very, very high. Do people have evidence to the contrary?

 

I have heard stories so after seeing your post I googled it and these are the first few that popped up. A cruise ship is a community just like any other and, unfortunately, there are the same risks aboard a ship that there are in your own neighborhood/community at home. I allow my 11 year old the signing in and out privilege but she is always to be accompanied by another child or adult and she is to come straight to wherever I am with no stopping and certainly no "roaming". I may also be in the minority, but as a social worker, I am all too aware of the potential dangers and threats. She calls me a "helicopter mom" and maybe I am. But if it keeps her safe, then she can call me whatever she wants lol.

 

I certainly am not trying to inject fear into anyone, as these instances are rare! Cruises are a ton of fun for adults and kids alike. But we all should be smart and not have a false sense of security IMHO.

 

http://www.cruiselawnews.com/2015/12/articles/crime/11-year-old-girl-sexually-assaulted-on-disney-magic-cruise-ship/

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3200922/Carnival-cruise-ship-worker-46-arrested-sexually-molesting-teenage-boy-shower-returned-Caribbean.html

 

http://www.cruisejunkie.com/SA.html

[KatieCharlotte]

Call me overprotective but I already told my 13 year old she will not be leaving or going anywhere without supervision. It's my first cruise with kids, but I don't let her roam in a hotel, I'm certainly not letting her roam on a ship! It;s not her I'm worried about. She is a great kid. I'm worried about people that can open their room doors and just pull her in and I'd never know. I'm worried that she could get pushed overboard. I know, I know. I'm a worry wart. But I'd rather be safe than sorry!

 

As my 12-year-old daughter would say, "What happens to these kids when they go to college?" Yes, I know that feels like a long time from now, but it's really not that long, and they are going to have a whole lot more independence than going to Lido for some pizza. IMO it's actually safer in the long run to teach kids to be independent and confident. Now, some 13-year-old girls might be exploring some new behaviors that would make them at risk on a ship, and only you know your child. But if you trust your child to make good decisions, this might be an opportunity to let her spread her wings. If you're uncomfortable about hallways, make strict rules about staying in the public areas -- maybe tell her Lido and higher decks only. No one is going to push her off the ship unless she's sitting on the railing at 1 a.m.

 

To the OP, most parents of 11-12 year olds let them be unsupervised to some degree, but parents have a range of rules beyond that. You can tell them to stay in a group, to stay in certain areas, to check in with you occasionally, etc., depending on your level of comfortable and their level of responsibility. My kids were allowed to go to the neighborhood park or walk to their friend's house alone once they were 8 years old, which I guess would be considered "free-range parenting" these days, so it seems natural to allow them some independence on a cruise.

[KatieCharlotte]

I have heard stories so after seeing your post I googled it and these are the first few that popped up. A cruise ship is a community just like any other and, unfortunately, there are the same risks aboard a ship that there are in your own neighborhood/community at home. I allow my 11 year old the signing in and out privilege but she is always to be accompanied by another child or adult and she is to come straight to wherever I am with no stopping and certainly no "roaming". I may also be in the minority, but as a social worker, I am all too aware of the potential dangers and threats. She calls me a "helicopter mom" and maybe I am. But if it keeps her safe, then she can call me whatever she wants lol.

 

I certainly am not trying to inject fear into anyone, as these instances are rare! Cruises are a ton of fun for adults and kids alike. But we all should be smart and not have a false sense of security IMHO.

 

http://www.cruiselawnews.com/2015/12/articles/crime/11-year-old-girl-sexually-assaulted-on-disney-magic-cruise-ship/

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3200922/Carnival-cruise-ship-worker-46-arrested-sexually-molesting-teenage-boy-shower-returned-Caribbean.html

 

http://www.cruisejunkie.com/SA.html

 

I don't have a false sense of security, believe me. And I do believe a cruise has the same risks as my community, where I also let my 12-year-old daughter roam around the neighborhood alone on her bike.

 

It's about finding your own balance of risk versus reward, as well as meeting the unique needs of your own children. (And sometimes the rewards in granting independence including reducing the risk of harm in the future, when your child grows up and has to sink or swim, so to speak.) We make a decision to risk our children's lives every time we drive somewhere in our car with them strapped in the backseat. We can't really keep our kids entirely safe, no matter how hard we try, and we can't live in fear.

[Cruise Envy]

At that age (they are now 16 and 20) my kids had freedom of the Lido Deck and the Promenade. I had to have an idea of where they were. I based it on my knowledge of their maturity. While I am aware that there are "perverts among us", I felt OK with them being in such a public area outside of my immediate supervision.

 

IMHO, as long as you & your kids are comfortable with the boundaries you set, it's up to you to make the decision.

[Thrilled2012]

I don't have a false sense of security, believe me. And I do believe a cruise has the same risks as my community, where I also let my 12-year-old daughter roam around the neighborhood alone on her bike.

 

It's about finding your own balance of risk versus reward, as well as meeting the unique needs of your own children. (And sometimes the rewards in granting independence including reducing the risk of harm in the future, when your child grows up and has to sink or swim, so to speak.) We make a decision to risk our children's lives every time we drive somewhere in our car with them strapped in the backseat. We can't really keep our kids entirely safe, no matter how hard we try, and we can't live in fear.

 

I was not questioning your parenting style or responding to your post (as you posted after me). I was responding to the poster who said that they had never heard of anything bad happening to a minor aboard a cruise ship, as they had asked for information to the contrary of their beliefs.

 

I truly am sorry if my post offended you. Everyone has different parenting styles and that does not always mean that one is better than the other. I mentioned what you would do "in your own community" at home in my previous post and, even that, varies not only depending on parenting style but also demographics. I recently moved to a new development, for example. My kids are now allowed to play outside in a group on their bikes, hoverboards, etc. I would absolutely never have allowed that in our former development due to the less than desirable environment. So as you allow your children to explore your community independently or with others, there are reasons why others cannot, even if they would like to. Personally, I see nothing wrong with others allowing their well behaved children to have more independence on a ship. I just choose not to in that particular environment. At home, I allow my 11 yo to stay home alone and she is what we used to call a "latch key kid" back in the early 80s when I was a schoolgirl. She has taken babysitter classes and is certified, so I even let her babysit her little brother for short periods so she is given the opportunity to further her independence and will be gradually be given more opportunities as she gets older. But, again, I think allowing "free roaming" on a cruise ship is up to each individual parent as long as they are aware of potential threats that are present at home as well as on a ship (since the poster that I was responding to didn't seem to think that there were any) :)

[sanger727]

While there is certainly some danger of violent/sexual crimes just like everywhere; I think the larger danger is theft. In my experience pre-teens are much less observant of their belongings than they should be (as r some adults), so would harp on that with them. They need to understand that while the ship may be a bit safer than out on the street, there is still plenty of stealing going on and they either shouldn't carry their valuables or shouldn't leave them unattended.

 

 

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[camijo]

My kids first cruise my son had privileges of signing himself in/out from the beginning. My daughter being younger, I decided that she wouldn't have that privilege, after that first night I changed my mind. It interrupted the shows I attended or if I was in the casino, it was very inconvenient. I trust both my kids, I don't trust others. However, in the end it worked out great with them having those sign in/out privileges. And they both enjoyed the clubs and made their own friends.

[angelsfort]

on our last cruise we were placed in the MDR with other families like ours (I am a single mother and it was just my daughter and I cruising.) We were at a table with another single mom and then a family with a daughter around my daughters age (a bit older but still a teen).

 

The family did the same as I did. Our daughters never wanted to hang out in the teen clubs so the "sign out" thing was never an issue. My daughter mostly wanted to just hang out with me and we did a lot of things together on board and in ports. Occasionally I'd let her run up on deck to grab a drink or let her go to Karaoke without me (I'd join her later)

 

The other single mom at our table gave her daughter the "sign out" privileges and I don't think she had a clue where her daughter was or what she was doing. The funny thing (to my daughter and I) was that this girl was the model of prim and proper while we were at dinner. Very polite, very sweet and super "innocent". They spoke about how she was in the Sunday school at church, etc. etc.

 

We would occasionally see her roaming around the ship - it was always with a different group of guys and she was usually hanging off of one of them. She was dressed in one of those shirts that only goes half way to her mid-rift and had a TON of make-up on. We saw her exiting an "employee only" doorway once as well... Lord knows what she was up to in there!!

 

but when we'd see her at dinner again the next day, same thing... super quiet, super sweet and very innocent. Her mother had NO IDEA of what her daughter was doing when she was roaming the ship.

 

That said - I'm on the side of the folks who say that there are thousands of strangers on board the ship... that's an awful lot of people that have the potential to do my daughter harm. She's allowed to hang out with her friends in our neighborhood, she's not chained in the house... she is able to go to the local skating rink and be with her friends without me there. If we go to the mall, I don't make her stay by my side the entire time... These are all places that I know and trust. Onboard a ship, no so much.

[Organized Chaos]

on our last cruise we were placed in the MDR with other families like ours (I am a single mother and it was just my daughter and I cruising.) We were at a table with another single mom and then a family with a daughter around my daughters age (a bit older but still a teen).

 

The family did the same as I did. Our daughters never wanted to hang out in the teen clubs so the "sign out" thing was never an issue. My daughter mostly wanted to just hang out with me and we did a lot of things together on board and in ports. Occasionally I'd let her run up on deck to grab a drink or let her go to Karaoke without me (I'd join her later)

 

The other single mom at our table gave her daughter the "sign out" privileges and I don't think she had a clue where her daughter was or what she was doing. The funny thing (to my daughter and I) was that this girl was the model of prim and proper while we were at dinner. Very polite, very sweet and super "innocent". They spoke about how she was in the Sunday school at church, etc. etc.

 

We would occasionally see her roaming around the ship - it was always with a different group of guys and she was usually hanging off of one of them. She was dressed in one of those shirts that only goes half way to her mid-rift and had a TON of make-up on. We saw her exiting an "employee only" doorway once as well... Lord knows what she was up to in there!!

 

but when we'd see her at dinner again the next day, same thing... super quiet, super sweet and very innocent. Her mother had NO IDEA of what her daughter was doing when she was roaming the ship.

 

That said - I'm on the side of the folks who say that there are thousands of strangers on board the ship... that's an awful lot of people that have the potential to do my daughter harm. She's allowed to hang out with her friends in our neighborhood, she's not chained in the house... she is able to go to the local skating rink and be with her friends without me there. If we go to the mall, I don't make her stay by my side the entire time... These are all places that I know and trust. Onboard a ship, no so much.

This is a good example of what parents don't know. To all those saying to let 'em roam free because it teaches independence, keep in mind, they're still kids. And I'm talking about the younger ones, like pre-teen, maybe 13 or 14 (although some will say that's plenty old enough, but it depends on the kid). They're still developing & learning which means they still need guidance & supervision. As much as we might trust them, kids will be kids. Didn't you do anything or act inappropriately as a kid when your parents weren't around? Combine that with the possibility of them connecting with other kids on board, ones they don't know well and who may not be as trustworthy & good as yours, there's always a chance for something bad to happen. Again, they're kids and many times are easily influenced by others. As kids, they need boundaries and rules. Both are crucial to their development. So while yes, it's vacation and everyone should have fun, I think supervision is still very important for the younger ones. Maybe not direct supervision 100% of the time, but they shouldn't be allowed to go all "Lord of the Flies." As good as you know your child to be, things happen.

 

And as far as those who aren't worried about adults on board who may have bad intentions concerning kids, remember, there's cases all the time when kids who were abused in some way don't come out and admit it until many years later. Now that doesn't mean it's a common occurrence on these ships, but statistics show us that it happens more often than we know and just don't find out about it until much later.