Tipping Haven Butler

[ALKID]

9 hours ago, rbxlady said:

 

I really appreciate this comment, as people keep saying they tip a certain amount per day multiplied by the number of passengers in their cabin. We're cruising with two kids, so doubling our tip to account for our two kids sounded silly because they're probably getting very little to no extra service, especially if Splash Academy is in full swing. But if the butler is actually doing stuff for the kids, then tipping extra for the kids makes sense.

The 50 was plenty.  If it weren’t for the kids, we wouldn’t have left anything.  Not even sure what their purpose is.

[UKstages]

there is an important cultural distinction about making "friends" at that other place that has, perhaps, been overlooked here.

 

many - not all, but many - customer facing employees on cruise ships are filipino, and they are primarily in their 20s and 30s. this is especially true of room stewards, restaurant servers and butlers.  i have worked extensively in the philippines and i often receive "friend"   requests from the folks i come in contact with on a job site, even after a single short meeting of 20 minutes or so.

 

culturally,  they think nothing of this, particularly among that demographic... those in their 20s and 30s. to them, the place with the face is for casual contacts... they often have a thousand or more friends. they collect "friends," much like somebody else might collect pokémon cards or postage stamps. to them, this practice is equivalent to exchanging a business card. no expectation of a close relationship or any sort of bonding is implied or should be inferred. so, it's a cultural thing, in my opinion... and there also may be an age-related thing going on here, as many cruisers tend to be considerably older. frankly, many in heir 20s and 30s don't even use the face place... they have moved on to other sites and apps. most cruisers and most cruise ship employees have a very different view of what being a "friend" means.

 

(i always refuse these requests and connect with them on the site with "link" in its name instead.) 

[pcakes122]

1 hour ago, UKstages said:

there is an important cultural distinction about making "friends" at that other place that has, perhaps, been overlooked here.

 

many - not all, but many - customer facing employees on cruise ships are filipino, and they are primarily in their 20s and 30s. this is especially true of room stewards, restaurant servers and butlers.  i have worked extensively in the philippines and i often receive "friend"   requests from the folks i come in contact with on a job site, even after a single short meeting of 20 minutes or so.

 

culturally,  they think nothing of this, particularly among that demographic... those in their 20s and 30s. to them, the place with the face is for casual contacts... they often have a thousand or more friends. they collect "friends," much like somebody else might collect pokémon cards or postage stamps. to them, this practice is equivalent to exchanging a business card. no expectation of a close relationship or any sort of bonding is implied or should be inferred. so, it's a cultural thing, in my opinion... and there also may be an age-related thing going on here, as many cruisers tend to be considerably older. frankly, many in heir 20s and 30s don't even use the face place... they have moved on to other sites and apps. most cruisers and most cruise ship employees have a very different view of what being a "friend" means.

 

(i always refuse these requests and connect with them on the site with "link" in its name instead.) 

I totally agree that some people are overthinking this! I also agree with your assessment that it is cultural.  I don't consider that someone asking to be my FB "friend" is asking to be my "real life" friend or has expectations of daily, monthly (or even ANY) chit chats about weekend plans, etc  LOL I think that folks who don't use social media a lot may misinterpret this.  Social media networks and real life friendships and relationships are COMPLETELY different things.

 

Maybe folks were confused because I posted an excerpt from a chat with an NCL butler.  He used terms of endearment like "my favorite", etc. which -- depending upon your culture -- could be misconstrued.  I took that the same way I take it when my nail manicurist calls me honey, dear and her favorite customer.I don't think that I am her honey or her favorite customer. LOL It's just that in her culture, it's a way to be nice and pleasant.

 

I do kind of feel sad for all of those who automatically assume that the only reason butlers or others in the service industry are nice to guests is that they are looking for tips.  Not only is it a cynical view, but it overlooks the fact that most people working on a cruise ship are separated from their families and don't always get the opportunity to call/video home as much as they would like.  So while I am sure that there are some who are motivated by money, others are just human beings that truly enjoy having the opportunity to connect with others.  None of us knows anybody's true motives, on land or on sea. But that doesn't change how I interact with people because other people's motives are on them, not me. 🙂

[graphicguy]

^^^^^^

 

Think about this for a moment….the crew you speak of are mostly in their 20s and 30s.  Most of the guests are 2X their age.  Moreover, as has been pointed out, culturally, there are gulfs the size of the Grand Canyon between most crew and guests because of their geographic background, work experiences, and yes, age.  The contrasts are stark.

 

So not being cynical.  Realistically, if you think the crew are your new best friends, they do get paid to make you feel exactly that way.  If they’re good at it, that directly affects their income.

 

I don’t treat crew any differently than I do any other casual acquaintance.  I’m nice to them.  And, because they are in the service industry, it’s customary to tip them if service warrants it.

 

Talk to any of them, and they’ll tell you their biggest expense working on the ship is internet service to chat with family and friends back home.  So, they do indeed communicate regularly with them all.

 

I am not egotistical enough to even think I can augment their personal relationships back home, regardless of how much of a “good guy” I may think I am.

 

Do whatever you want.  But, if you think for a  nanosecond they’d be as friendly to you if you told them there were no tips to be had from you at the start of your cruise, you’d be mistaken.  That doesn’t make them poor employees or you a bad guest.  Just the reality of the situation.  
 

I’ve personally seen it time and again on many different ships, on many different lines.  My bartender is much friendlier to me once I tip him/her regularly on every drink.  Same in the MDRs.  I’m also certain they’ve forgotten all about me while making new “friends” on the very next cruise.

[LGW59]

1 hour ago, graphicguy said:

^^^^^^

 

Think about this for a moment….the crew you speak of are mostly in their 20s and 30s.  Most of the guests are 2X their age.  Moreover, as has been pointed out, culturally, there are gulfs the size of the Grand Canyon between most crew and guests because of their geographic background, work experiences, and yes, age.  The contrasts are stark.

 

So not being cynical.  Realistically, if you think the crew are your new best friends, they do get paid to make you feel exactly that way.  If they’re good at it, that directly affects their income.

 

I don’t treat crew any differently than I do any other casual acquaintance.  I’m nice to them.  And, because they are in the service industry, it’s customary to tip them if service warrants it.

 

Talk to any of them, and they’ll tell you their biggest expense working on the ship is internet service to chat with family and friends back home.  So, they do indeed communicate regularly with them all.

 

I am not egotistical enough to even think I can augment their personal relationships back home, regardless of how much of a “good guy” I may think I am.

 

Do whatever you want.  But, if you think for a  nanosecond they’d be as friendly to you if you told them there were no tips to be had from you at the start of your cruise, you’d be mistaken.  That doesn’t make them poor employees or you a bad guest.  Just the reality of the situation.  
 

I’ve personally seen it time and again on many different ships, on many different lines.  My bartender is much friendlier to me once I tip him/her regularly on every drink.  Same in the MDRs.  I’m also certain they’ve forgotten all about me while making new “friends” on the very next cruise.

And it seems some people create "fake" FB, and other various social media accounts with just their vacation name which they share.  Lot easier to just be up front and say, "I don't use social media", it's honest, direct and me thinks most of the crew would be relieved that they don't need to worry about responding to what's his/her name from Paducah and showered me with money in the hopes I would remember them on their week among 3000 others on the cruise.

[cruiseny4life]

On 7/29/2022 at 6:28 PM, ChiefMateJRK said:

Some of us would prefer that the staff NOT remember us from prior cruises.  Fresh starts are often great things! 🤣

I don't drink enough to make bad decisions, but I have no notion that she (or any other staff member) will actually remember me. If they do, cool, we can resume our previous conversations. If not, we'll just start over and have a great week on the ship!

[pcakes122]

10 hours ago, graphicguy said:

^^^^^^

 

Think about this for a moment….the crew you speak of are mostly in their 20s and 30s.  Most of the guests are 2X their age.  Moreover, as has been pointed out, culturally, there are gulfs the size of the Grand Canyon between most crew and guests because of their geographic background, work experiences, and yes, age.  The contrasts are stark.

 

So not being cynical.  Realistically, if you think the crew are your new best friends, they do get paid to make you feel exactly that way.  If they’re good at it, that directly affects their income.

 

I don’t treat crew any differently than I do any other casual acquaintance.  I’m nice to them.  And, because they are in the service industry, it’s customary to tip them if service warrants it.

 

Talk to any of them, and they’ll tell you their biggest expense working on the ship is internet service to chat with family and friends back home.  So, they do indeed communicate regularly with them all.

 

I am not egotistical enough to even think I can augment their personal relationships back home, regardless of how much of a “good guy” I may think I am.

 

Do whatever you want.  But, if you think for a  nanosecond they’d be as friendly to you if you told them there were no tips to be had from you at the start of your cruise, you’d be mistaken.  That doesn’t make them poor employees or you a bad guest.  Just the reality of the situation.  
 

I’ve personally seen it time and again on many different ships, on many different lines.  My bartender is much friendlier to me once I tip him/her regularly on every drink.  Same in the MDRs.  I’m also certain they’ve forgotten all about me while making new “friends” on the very next cruise.

I don't know if your little ^^^^  indicates that this was directed at me,  but I've never posted anywhere on these forums that I thought NCL employees were my "new best friends" (or even that I wanted them to be.)  What I posted was a snippet from an online conversation with a former butler who shared that he was concerned he would have no income because no passengers seemed to want to utilize his services during that particular cruise.  I posted it strictly as a point to encourage people to use their butlers and not be afraid to "bother" them.

 

It seems some other people saw that and felt the need to point out that this butler  (who referred to me in the message as "his favorite") could really care less about me and was only interested in my money. Others chimed in with assumptions that I had given the butler my personal phone number (I didn't), some assumed that I was the one that had asked the butler if we could keep in touch (I wasn't) and I guess they also assumed that I actually believed that I was that butler's "favorite" passenger (I don't lol.) 

 

However, you seem to be very invested (by the number and length of your posts on the topic) in making sure that I don't think for a second that anybody I've met on a cruise actually cares about me or remembers me (not that you would have any way of actually knowing this lol.)  I'm not sure what your motivation is there, but you might want to self-reflect about why you feel the need to do that to strangers on the internet.

[ChiefMateJRK]

4 hours ago, cruiseny4life said:

I don't drink enough to make bad decisions, but I have no notion that she (or any other staff member) will actually remember me. If they do, cool, we can resume our previous conversations. If not, we'll just start over and have a great week on the ship!

While I would like to blame alcohol on folks having less than fond memories of me at times, I really can't back that up. 🤣  Some/most people are much more likable after a few drinks.  I'm with Winston Churchill.  I never trust a man who doesn't drink.  😎

[graphicguy]

1 hour ago, pcakes122 said:

 

 

However, you seem to be very invested (by the number and length of your posts on the topic) in making sure that I don't think for a second that anybody I've met on a cruise actually cares about me or remembers me (not that you would have any way of actually knowing this lol.)  I'm not sure what your motivation is there, but you might want to self-reflect about why you feel the need to do that to strangers on the internet.

I have no idea.if any crew do or don;t care for you.  Not sure what gave you the idea I did.  I have no investment whatsoever whether you’re remembered by crew.. My motivation is non-existent understanding why and how you cruise.  As my son is fond of saying….”you do you”.

 

I think that’s succinct enough.  Hopefully I’ve made myself crystal clear.

 

Best way to snuff out a fire is to throw cold water on it.  I hope I’ve done that!

[KeithJenner]

On 7/29/2022 at 3:12 PM, GeezerCouple said:

 

 

Now that you mention "no Butler service", I remember reading here on CC rather recently that some of those "suite perks" were being cut back.  However, I was never sure just which ones, and whether it was NCL-wide or differed by ship.  For example, on ships with a Haven, one has the choice to pay for Haven to get some of those perks such as Butler.  But on ships without, such as Dawn or Sun, there's no way.  We've had Butlers on both of those ships, but it was a few years ago.

 

RM

We were in a non Haven suite on the Jade in April and had a butler.

[Nachosdelux]

On 7/25/2022 at 8:55 AM, CDR Benson said:

 

I looked at the draught of my butler letter this morning.  Your phraseology about the enclosed tip was better than mine.  But, in trying to put your words in my voice, the text wound up as not recognisable from what you wrote.  Bear in mind, however, that your words inspired my better re-write.

 

Here's how our "Gary letter" reads right now:

 

"We have been looking forward to meeting you.

 

"I am Commander Benson, a retired United States Naval officer, and my wife is Cheryl.  We have traveled in a suite before, on another cruise line, but this is our first experience with a butler.  We know that we aren't the only guests you have to look after and that you stay busy.  The good news is Mrs. Benson and I are low-maintenance. 

 

"We won't be throwing any parties in our suite, nor requesting any course-by-course meal service.  It's too late for our birthdays, and it's too early for our anniversary.  So, there's nothing to celebrate except the wonderful experience of sailing on board NORWEGIAN JOY.

 

"Here are the requests we do have:

 

(Here will be an itemised list, once we work out what we wish to request)

 

"We have done our homework on the services you provide.  But if we've missed something and ask for something outside of your duties, please don't hesitate to say so.  The same holds if ship's protocols prevent one of our requests.

 

"And that goes to your greatest value to us.  This is our first time on NORWEGIAN JOY, or sailing with NCL.  You are our subject matter expert.  Any advice or information you can provide is welcomed.  Feel free to offer the benefit of your experience, even if not asked.

 

"We know we can call you directly if we want something.  However, we do ask that you get in touch with us at least once a day, in person or by phone, just to check in.  A copy of our shore excursion schedule is attached.

 

"We respect the impeccable skill and experience you bring to your profession.  As a token of our confidence in your service, we've enclosed part of your well-deserved tip, in advance.

 

(NOTE:  the above paragraph will be omitted in the alternate letter, the one I will tender if our butler fails to present on the first day.)

 

"Mrs. Benson and I have been looking forward to this cruise for nearly two years and are excited to finally be on board.  We are in your capable hands."

 

(Signed)

Commander and Mrs. Benson

 

Maybe it is a generational thing, but I find this presumptuous.

 

First, who refers to their (retired) military rank on a cruise ship, unless asked?

 

Do you introduce yourself to the barber or car mechanic by your rank?

 

(FYI I retired as a US Military officer of comparable rank as the Honorable Commander, and I would never consider doing this)

 

Also, this comes across as demanding and over the top.  

 

Just introduce yourself and perhaps offer 2 of your most important "wants".  

 

Safe travels.

 

 

 

 

[The Shrike]

9 minutes ago, Nachosdelux said:

 

Maybe it is a generational thing, but I find this presumptuous.

 

First, who refers to their (retired) military rank on a cruise ship, unless asked?

 

Do you introduce yourself to the barber or car mechanic by your rank?

 

(FYI I retired as a US Military officer of comparable rank as the Honorable Commander, and I would never consider doing this)

 

Also, this comes across as demanding and over the top.  

 

Just introduce yourself and perhaps offer 2 of your most important "wants".  

 

Safe travels.

 

 

 

 

I'm retired military also (retired 2012) and like you I find that odd.  The only time my rank ever comes up is if I'm filling out paperwork at the clinic on my local AFB or when the guard at the gate calls me by it after checking my ID.  Using it in the civilian world just seems...weird.

[ALKID]

26 minutes ago, The Shrike said:

I'm retired military also (retired 2012) and like you I find that odd.  The only time my rank ever comes up is if I'm filling out paperwork at the clinic on my local AFB or when the guard at the gate calls me by it after checking my ID.  Using it in the civilian world just seems...weird.

They probably highlight the title when they post the letter on their bulletin board to make it seem even more ridiculous.  LOL LOL LOL.  I bet it won the prize! 

[Trimone]

28 minutes ago, The Shrike said:

I'm retired military also (retired 2012) and like you I find that odd.  The only time my rank ever comes up is if I'm filling out paperwork at the clinic on my local AFB or when the guard at the gate calls me by it after checking my ID.  Using it in the civilian world just seems...weird.

It’s possibly the first time he’s been at sea….

[Harratine]

On 7/27/2022 at 10:51 AM, Trimone said:

I can’t understand why someone would want to eat in their room, with a exclusive dining room next door…remember hijacking the butler possibly does someone else out of simple service, they are not exclusive…

for context, eating in your room is a useful butler function. We typically do this when we have a long day of excursions.  The dining room can be very busy on these evenings.  As far as hijacking the butler, help them when you know this is going to be the case.  Request a menu the night before and let them know.  Order before you leave so they can plan with the restaurant (including Haven).  Give them a time to shoot for for your return.  Call them when you are done so they can clear.  Remove the guessing.  So basically communicate. 

[graphicguy]

58 minutes ago, The Shrike said:

I'm retired military also (retired 2012) and like you I find that odd.  The only time my rank ever comes up is if I'm filling out paperwork at the clinic on my local AFB or when the guard at the gate calls me by it after checking my ID.  Using it in the civilian world just seems...weird.

Me too….1994.  Never even thought about using my military rank in any communications, casual or formal.  Never even crossed my mind to use my retired rank in any form after I left.  I have listed it on my resumes, though.  It was another job I had for the most part.   

 

I get it, though.  Military life defined some of the folks I’ve met.  I’m not one of them, but I’ve known a few.  

 

I relate more to my college and degree more than my military experience.  I still don’t use the letters of my degree (MBA) on any formal correspondence or communications, though….again, except on my past resumes.  I am appreciative that the U.S. Gov’t paid for my degree, however.

Edited July 31, 2022 by graphicguy

[LGW59]

1 hour ago, The Shrike said:

I'm retired military also (retired 2012) and like you I find that odd.  The only time my rank ever comes up is if I'm filling out paperwork at the clinic on my local AFB or when the guard at the gate calls me by it after checking my ID.  Using it in the civilian world just seems...weird.

And keep in mind that the "CDR" expects his butler to come and "present" themself in short order after he is ensconced in his suite, on the ocassion they do not do so, the consequences are outlined in the "letter".  I'm guessing that Mrs. Benson could write a book on her adventures with the "CDR".

[cruiseny4life]

1 hour ago, graphicguy said:

 I still don’t use the letters of my degree (MBA) on any formal correspondence or communications, though

THANK YOU!!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one...it's not in my email signature, my LinkedIn title, letters I sign. The only place I put those letters are on my resume and under education on LinkedIn. When I see someone with First Name, Last Name Ph.D, MBA, TuTu, BA DA BI NG...I just get cross eyed and laugh at the pomposity.

[GeezerCouple]

3 hours ago, Nachosdelux said:

 

Maybe it is a generational thing, but I find this presumptuous.

 

First, who refers to their (retired) military rank on a cruise ship, unless asked?

 

Do you introduce yourself to the barber or car mechanic by your rank?

 

(FYI I retired as a US Military officer of comparable rank as the Honorable Commander, and I would never consider doing this)

 

Also, this comes across as demanding and over the top.  

 

Just introduce yourself and perhaps offer 2 of your most important "wants".  

 

Safe travels.

 

 

 

Wow.

 

I could be totally wrong, but I understood "Commander Benson" to be his CC name.

 

I don't introduce myself to the Butler (or anyone else) as "Hi, I'm GeezerCouple", and not even if both of us are doing the introducing.

 

The only exception might be at an onboard CC Meet & Greet, so someone can connect "Hi, I'm Rumplestiltskin" [also not my real name] with "the person/couple writing on CC under the moniker of 'GeezerCouple' ".

 

Again, I could be wrong, obviously.

 

Signed,

"Not really named GeezerCouple"

 

[Nachosdelux]

1 hour ago, GeezerCouple said:

 

Wow.

 

I could be totally wrong, but I understood "Commander Benson" to be his CC name.

 

I don't introduce myself to the Butler (or anyone else) as "Hi, I'm GeezerCouple", and not even if both of us are doing the introducing.

 

The only exception might be at an onboard CC Meet & Greet, so someone can connect "Hi, I'm Rumplestiltskin" [also not my real name] with "the person/couple writing on CC under the moniker of 'GeezerCouple' ".

 

Again, I could be wrong, obviously.

 

Signed,

"Not really named GeezerCouple"

 

 

 

read his letter carefully.  He mentions his rank and that he is a retired US Navy officer.

Edited July 31, 2022 by Nachosdelux