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Willdra’s Valiant Venezia Review


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Venezia Day 9~Half Moon Cay

 

W and I got up at 8:45. My alarm was set for 8, his was set for 8:30, so yeah 8:45. When I opened my eyes, I did a quick burn check, and my prayer was answered. My shoulders were right as rain. Sorry W, you don’t get to kiki at my expense. Maybe next time. 

 

Our priority debark letter said that we needed to be at Marco Polo between 9:15-10:30. W wanted to skip breakfast. I was hungry, and his vote is still silent, so I said we could go quick, especially since we still had plenty of time. The only plan for the day was to pickup the beach umbrella that we rented at 10:30.

 

We left the cabin and got to Lido around 9:20. It wasn’t packed up there. We found a table straight away. I went to Tomodoro, while W went to the omelet bar. On my way over there, I saw a lady stop a server balancing a big tray on his shoulder, to ask if they were putting out fresh coffee. At first he looked like he was about to act like he didn’t hear her(that's what I would've done). I think cuz I looked at both of them, he paused and said “there’s coffee there just go to the other station”. To that she said “No I mean are you going to bring new coffee out?” Mind you, he’s still balancing this big tray and people are zooming around him. He repeated still way calmer than I ever could “yes but you can use the other station for now”. She had the nerve to be upset and stomp off cuz he didn’t stop what he was doing to go and fetch her some brand new fresh coffee. I promise y’all my right eye started twitching for him, and he wouldn’t have been wrong if she ended up wearing the contents of that tray that he was balancing. These are the requests that will have the crew side eyeing us, and putting salt in the sugar containers. Stop it. 

 

 

I kept it moving for all of our sakes, (don't need no hateration holleration in this dancery) and went on down to get my arepa and huevos ranchero.  Yet again, there was no line and no waiting. It was so peaceful out there I kinda wanted to tell W we should stay on the ship. It was a beautiful day out tho and we prepaid for shade, so we had to go get it. We could always return early if we wanted to.

 

After we collected everything, W and I brought our breakfast foods back to the table. We ate kinda quick but not too quick to make us sick, and then we got ready to go to Marco Polo.

 

 

 

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Now the Marco Polo was active. I didn’t really read anyone else’s debark instructions other than ours. MarQ was calling Zone 1 tho when we left the Lido. I think Marco Polo was the meeting spot for all priority which meant there was a mess of us on the ship. We checked in at the door and the crew member told us to sit over on his right side. As we were walking over there, this random lady said “you’re supposed to sit by the door”. Lady Whistledown,  tell that to the crew member at the door cuz we are following his orders. I just glanced at her and continued on. I guess everyone thinks they’re smarter than the average bear. They’re not.

 

We sat where we were told. At around 10:40 they took us down to board the tender. We left around 10:48. It took 13 minutes to get to the beach. The boat rocks a lot. If you are prone to motion sickness this will definitely test your gangsta.

 

 

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When we first got off the tender, we stopped at the information booth to the left and asked where to go to get our umbrella. We were told to go to the blue water sports building directly behind the information booth. W got in line there and while he was in line, this guy came up and asked if he could cut him because he had an issue with his umbrella.

 

First of all W wasn’t paying him any attention. So when he repeated the question, W said “How is that any different than what I need to do? Why should you be able to cut the line?” At first I thought “that was kinda mean”, but then when I thought about it more, W was right. The guy’s problem could actually end up taking longer than W just picking up an umbrella. Also, if you got an issue I got some tissue. Stop trying to make your problem, my problem. There were literally 2 people in line behind W. Not only would W be deciding for the guy to skip him, but he’s also deciding for the guy to skip everyone else. Sorry. Adios amigo. The guy thought about it himself, and just went back into the shack and exchanged the broken part. Duh.

 

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When it was his turn W went and chose an umbrella then we found chairs. There was a nice little breeze blowing so as soon as we got some shade going we would be good. We emptied out the bag with the umbrella and I immediately wondered how we would fill the sand bag that comes with it. There was a couple behind us who said “Check the bag there should be a small shovel in the pocket”. W said “I don’t feel anything in there”. Since it’s W we’re talking about, I checked myself.  Sure enough, no shovel. So they gave us theirs. We quickly dug the pole in then filled the bag up. After we were pretty sure it wouldn’t blow away, we thanked them again, and handed the shovel back. This type of inserting yourself in other people’s business, is acceptable by the way.

 

W needed to be in the water after that, so I slathered his back with sunblock, then he got in. I joined him a little while later (after sunblocking my own shoulders) cuz this inebriated lady behind us was very loudly talking on her phone, and when they hung up, she just started talking to anyone around her. Everyone with ears was trying to escape. Protect your peace.

 

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There were some people who setup right around our spot. When we were in the water I could see them moving their chairs closer and closer to our chairs to use our shade. Pretty soon they had all of the shade, but my chair was in the sun. I guess they don’t know how petty I am. Baby I am Petty Labelle. I showed W what was up, so we got out and moved our chairs and the umbrella all the way over. Miraculously they left shortly after that.

 

It’s one thing if someone asks, like earlier, one of the ladies that was by us asked me if she could “borrow” some of our shade cuz she couldn’t see her phone screen in the direct sunlight. I said “sure my husband is in the water, you can use his chair while he’s gone “ she did what she needed to do, thanked me, then bounced. These people felt sneaky and creepy. Welp unlucky for them, I had time that day. The rudeness is running rampant on this ship.

 

Somehow when I got out of the water, I started having a conversation with the lady who borrowed our shade and some of her friends, who were all still in the water. I could hear them loud and clear from my chair. One of the them kept asking me if I got the Miami Vice drink. I think I told her “no” 12 times. I had a blue margarita. She apparently had a MV with an extra shot, and she needed to never get that again. Fight it. I think it took her hearing. She was through dealing y’all and it was funny. One dranky drank and it was a wrap. Good night Irene. 

 

 

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We stayed out until around 3. There was a scary barge that crept up that reminded us of that movie “Leave The World Behind”. First it was headed straight for us, then it turned at the last minute, and just sat there looking all spooky. Once W said the name of the movie out loud, I was done son. I don’t need a run coordinator. Let’s gooooooo!!!!!

 

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3 was a popular time to go back. The showers are still in a horrible place and I don’t know who we need to talk to but why did they put them where we have to walk in sand after rinsing off? Make it make sense please. Also, we always forget on HMC the security  scanners are located on the island, not the ship. This takes a long time cuz people are never ready even tho we’ve been doing this same process over a week now. Still behooves me.

 

After security we were herded into a very hot tender. Somehow a lady behind us was separated from her family. She actually said to W and I “May I go ahead in case the rapture comes while we are on the boat? I want to be on the same boat with my family”.  Huh??? Look Mimi. Jesus knows where you are. If the “rapture” happens outchea on this tender, trust and believe, the least of your worries is where your peoples are. Also why did they leave you? Shouldn’t that be your bigger concern? But go ahead Queen. Do you.

 

After a hefty sigh and eye roll we let her pass. The reasons for skipping the line are at least getting more creative(and bonus, her hair was brushed!). We shoved off after everyone was packed in. It was sweltering in there and it was hard to breathe. We were down in the dungeon and it took a long time to let us out when we reached the ship.

 

 

When we finally emerged from the bowels of hades, the rapture didn’t happen, but the elevators down by the gangway were insane. We couldn’t believe how many people just stop there and wait. We walked up to deck 1, then walked aft and caught an elevator there in like a minute. We dropped off our stuff then went to the deli. I thought I was hungry, so I got a Cuban Mixto Sandwich.

 

We got back to the cabin and I picked at it. W said “It looks like you weren’t hungry at all”. Then I thought “Hmmmm maybe I’m sleepy”. I curled up under the covers to test the waters, and the next thing I knew, the waters were testing me. I was gone in 60 seconds.

 

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W woke me up around 6:30 to get ready for dinner. I almost told him we should skip it, but I really was hungry by then. I got on up and we checked in and went to dinner at 7:20.

 

This time we were on Deck 4 at Table 667. PSA: If you have a little kid please bring some sort of bag of toys for them to dinner. Don’t expect the little kid to just sit and be entertained by your charming conversation, the interesting wallpaper, and the MDR dinner menu. Also don’t rely on the MDR wait staff to entertain the kid. I get antsy, and my ADHD starts tingling when I have to wait a few minutes in line and I don’t have my phone to multitask. I don’t like wasting time when I can be doing something else. I can only imagine a 2 or 3 year old’s disposition. Especially those who have had some sort of electronic device in their hands since birth.

 

We were seated right away and we ordered Tuna Tartare, Steak Pizzaiola, and Napoleon Crema Alla Nocciola E Nutella for dessert. The Tuna Tartare is not as good as the one in the steakhouse, it’s decent tho. I liked everything. W and I especially liked the Steak Pizzaiola. It was tender and had a really good flavor to it.

 

 

 

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We were done with dinner around 8:20. There was a comedy show at 8:30 so we went to see if it was full. It was. The doors were closed and the “kick rocks” rope was up. I hadn’t gotten my $25 casino free play yet so I did that then we walked around d a little. The 90’s party on the Lido was at 10:15 so we made a pitstop at the cabin, then went up to 10. Seats were already disappearing up there. I’m glad we went early.

 

Quick Question cousins. Why do people come to the parties, then as soon as they start playing the music, they leave? This happened at every dance party on the Lido. Did they not know what it was? Was the description 90’s Music Party somehow misleading? Are they allergic to music? Are they afraid the "rapture" that granny was worried about earlier would happen during the dance party and they would be left behind with the termites and tarantulas? Whatever it was, it had them hightailing it out of there as soon as the first beat dropped. Scared straight. 

 

I was trying to take pictures, but for some reason the ships have that awful lighting on deck during the parties. I usually have to edit the heck outta my photos to get rid of it. That night they turned it on for a while, and they also put up the 80’s Rock ‘N Glow Party sign. Right at the start of the party, they turned those lights out but they kept the sign. Maybe they haven’t had time to make the 90’s one yet. Tacky. 

 

When it was time, MarQ came on and got the party started. He had great song choices and it was a fabulous time. The whole chair around the dance floor stage was an interesting choice tho. The chairs were a problem for some people as they had been the whole cruise. People were always trying to take chairs from other people. I saw people go and sit in other people’s chairs before they could even sit down and I saw someone literally run up and try to snatch an occupied chair(the occupant had gone to the rr I guess) from someone. It was wild how the presence of chairs made people insane.

 

Another observation that I made on that ship, was passengers weren't afraid to jump onstage with MarQ. I saw him show some legit concern for his personage (which I shared) a few times. I actually saw someone jump up there, say something rude, then push him. They put hands on the CD!  #unholy. Never in all my cruising history have I ever seen that occur before. Y’all don’t mind knuckin and buckin up here huh? Hopefully it doesn't end in handcuffs (or Carnival pulling their ships out of NY).

 

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After the party W and I went back to the cabin. I watched TV and read some.  W went back out to the casino.

 

Before I fell asleep, I said a prayer thanking God for the courtesy flush. Nothing says “I care about you, your nostrils, and your retinas” like that courtesy flush does. I know that we should conserve water, however we should also conserve our relationships. Every time someone walks into a restroom, after someone has dropped a hot bucket of rotting refuse in there without courtesy flushing, a piece of their respect for the offender (along with their nose hair) dies. A little part of their relationship is slowly chipped away. If this happens enough, there is nothing left but stinky, smelly, sorrow. Those flushes are the sound of deep devotion and dedication to relations. That flush is for you and me. Do it. Often. Amen.

 

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Venezia Day 10~Sea Day 4

 

I got up at 10:15, and did a few chores to start the process of packing. As I was completing this morbid mission, I was surprised at all of the places that I found beach sand. It was everywhere. This is not of the Lord.

 

W got up right after I did. We cleaned up, then W checked us in for brunch. Brunch is usually more popular on the last Sea Days and this was no exception. There was a 20-30 minute stated wait time. It actually took 18 minutes.

 

The dining room was still crowded when we arrived. More people were there than usual. Ruth was our server at table 476. As soon as we sat down, she barked “Look at the menu and I will be back to take your order. Ok.” All aggressive, like we were some new trainees late for our first day. Somebody done told you wrong, Ruth. We don’t work here, and you don’t get to order us around. Especially not before coffee. That ain’t congenial.

 

We looked around and we noticed that she was by herself. We understood that. We get it. This was one of the busiest times in the dining room, and they were short staffed. Say that. We are humans and so are you. If you just start fussing at us, we are gonna fuss back, then we are all just fussing at each other, and we still don’t have coffee.  Therefor, when Ruth came back and said “Are you ready to order?” W said “Yes but can we have coffee first?” that snapped her out of her rude girl trance.

 

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We ordered and W started with the Lox and Bagel, then he asked for Steak and Eggs. I ordered Skillet Cake, Bacon, and Cheese grits with extra cheese. They brought W the worst bagel they could find. It looked like they set it ablaze, blew it out, repeated that 2 more times, then threw it on the plate. It was giving that breakfast that Mister cooked for Shug Avery on the Color Purple. Flaming fiasco. They also brought out my grits with the bagel. I was confused cuz a side dish was now promoted to an appetizer? Oh.

 

W and I ate our “appetizers” and another server showed up. We figured she had been on break. She came over to check on us, but everything was sorted out by then. The rest of our food showed up and thank goodness it didn’t look like W’s bagel. It was very good and exactly what we ordered. We ate slow, but we still had almost an hour to waste before the Diamond Platinum VIFP party which started at 1:15. The cruise was winding down, and it was really time to try to catch up on some rest. We do more on vacation than we do at home going to work every day. My body was protesting loudly, it was saying “you better sit down before down sit you”. I’m not one to argue with my body (she snitches to my doctor) so sitting down is exactly what I was planning to do.

 

 

 

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After we finished our food, we went up to Deck 11. We found a love seat/chair section and sat there until time to go. I like that the ship had lots of good places to sit in the shade, but the setup was still strange. Deck 12 was great for people who love the sun, but we couldn’t go up there during the activities because the retractable roof setup was in the way. You can’t really see the Lido from up there like on other ships. It was a waste of space sometimes.

 

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Posted (edited)

At around 1:05, we went down to Teatro Rosso for the Diamond Platinum VIFP party. Before leaving the cabin, we grabbed one of our invites in case they were taking invitations like they did at the Diamond Brunch. Welp, they didn’t take it and they didn’t ask to see it. W just walked into the theater in front of me and nobody blinked. There were some people who walked in behind us asking what the event was and the crew member explained it to them. Nothing would’ve stopped them from leaving that side and going in on the other side. Heavily guarded this was not.

 

We found seats, and at first it was kinda hard to get regular bar service. That was normal. After the first couple of drinks, when W started to tip we were on our way. W ordered me a blue margarita (which reminded me I needed to get my free drink at brunch Thursday) but that was the only specialty drink I wanted. I’m easy when it comes to cocktails at these events. I will take the rum punch all day every day. The party went on and I loved MarQ as the host. He told some of his personal cruise story which made me love him even more.

 

When they went to do the awards, only 1 recipient was present. I wonder if it would be better for them to let the recipients know that they are being honored before hand that way they would show up. It always seems so sad and low key embarrassing when they are not there.

 

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Edited by willdra
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When the party started to wind down we left out. W still hadn’t spent any time in Serenity yet, and I was concerned that he was not gonna be ok. We stopped by the cabin to drop off some extra drinks, then we went up to 14. First we looked to see if my nap bed from the day before was open. It was not. So I went one way, and W walked off in the other direction looking like he was late for his BINGO calling job at the VFW. My guy was on a mission. I found a clamshell right away. I stopped there and waited for W.

 

He didn’t find anything, so he joined me in our place of solace for the day. There was a crew member from Jamaica who made “friends” with the passengers in the clamshell next to us, who were also from Jamaica. They were chatting off and on and it was nice that the crew member could connect with people from home. I would love that so much if I were working away from home. I’ll bet it really helps to drop kick homesickness in the throat when you hook up with people who remind you of your set.

 

After we were up there awhile, W went and got food. He brought back a burger and fries for me, but I wasn't really hungry yet. I just picked at it a little. I was full of fatigue. 

 

I got comfortable, popped in my AirPods, then started reading, which usually leads to copious amounts of slumber. That didn’t happen, but what did happen was rain. It was more sprinkles than rain, but it was steady. The sky was completely overcast, so it was impossible to tell how long it would last. We decided not to fight it. This was our sign to pack it up and head inside. I could tell W kinda wanted to go find a spot on 12, but that bed in our cabin was calling me and I picked up on the first ring. Hello?

 

We packed everything and went back to the cabin. I climbed in that big comfy bed as soon as I got there. All I know, is that I rolled over once, and W was waking me up for dinner. I was down bad. 

 

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There was a 90-100 minute wait when W first checked us in. He woke me up when it was down to 40 minutes. He said he tried unsuccessfully to wake me up before, but I didn’t budge. That tracks. I got up, showered, and dressed. We still had 10-20 minutes. By the time our table was assigned, the total wait time was about an hour and 4 minutes.

 

Before we even got there, we knew this was gonna be a long one. Everybody and their grandmama was in that restaurant. People must wait until the last elegant evening to go because of the lobster. This was the most crowded we’d ever seen it. Wonderful.

 

We sat down and placed our orders. This was one of those nights when I was feeling like I needed all the waters. Usually as soon as I drink it, the servers refill my glass. This time I drank mine and W’s. Then I just sat there all thirsty and dehydrated until they took pity on me and refilled the glasses. That's how busy it was. 

 

For dinner I ordered the Calamari, Shrimp Cocktail, Lobster, and WCMC with butter pecan ice cream.

 

While we were waiting the hour that it took to get our food, I got a chance to look out into the restaurant at some beautiful people. I also had some questions. Why did this lady look like she decided that it was a good idea to get botox from her best friend’s sister Tootie who just got her botox certificate online from a school that was currently under investigation for issuing botox certificates on eBay? What are those? Now her face looks like a Gordon Gartrelle knockoff. 

 

Eventually our food started to flow out and it was mostly great. I had high hopes for the Calamari but the breading was off. It kinda tasted like onion rings, which I do not love. Everything else was good.

 

 

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We missed everything that we wanted to do during that marathon dinner, so we went back to the cabin afterwards.

 

Before I fell asleep, I said a prayer thanking God for microwave ovens. I can still remember when we got our first microwave back in the 80’s. My friends were still burning their food by having to reheat it using the sun and a magnifying glass. We on the other hand, had the luxury of burning a slice of bread by reheating it in the microwave for 2 minutes. It was so bad, somebody came up with the term “nuking food” cuz that’s what we were doing. Everything was set to cremate. We turned everything into ashes. Mount Vesuvius didn’t have nothing on us. Then one fine day, somebody in their infinite wisdom said “Wayment, there are different levels and cook times for different foods. Pay attention. Read the directions”. Since then, the microwave oven has earned its place on countertops, on carts, above stoves, built into cabinets, and anywhere else they can be safely operated. Now we can have fresh popcorn in 90 seconds and we’ve figured out how to warm up zillions of things to perfection. I'm convinced the blueprints for the microwave were heaven sent. Joseph’s stepson sent us the microwave, and I’m so glad he did. Amen.

 

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Can’t stop laughing

”Lady Whistledown”

”if you’ve got an issue, I’ve got a tissue”

and my all time favorite (so far) “his vote is silent”

💜💜💜💜💜

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Venezia Day 11~Sea Day 5

 

It felt so wild that we were on our 5th sea day of this cruise. Before we began this journey I thought for sure that I would be so ready to debark by now that I’d be contemplating swimming back to NYC.

I was wrong. As I said before the Venezia was built for Sea Days. It was built for indoor stuff, and you can still have that Caribbean beach feel even when it’s freezing outside, which was currently the case. This last sea day was delivering less than summery weather. The app was boasting 70 degrees but their 70 degrees don’t hit like our humid 70 degrees in the South. Not even close.

 

We got up and I checked the app to see how long the wait time was for brunch. The wait time was 50-60 minutes so I checked us in. While I was getting ready, I started pulling out the packing cubes and my toiletry bag so that I could just throw them in the suitcase before we went to dinner later. We should still be good on space and weight cuz the only heavy things we were bringing back was us.

 

As I was kinda moving around pre organizing, W was sitting on the couch watching me like I was a TV show. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was just daydreaming. Ok I’ll allow it for now. Especially since it was keeping him outta my way. After I had everything where I needed it to be to make packing easier, I finished getting my body ready and we left when the table was assigned. We waited maybe 40 minutes total. Quite a bit can be accomplished in 40 minutes, so hopefully I used the time wisely.

 

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As soon as we got to the restaurant, W realized he’d forgotten his backpack(that’s what he gets for daydreaming instead of day getting ready). He went back to get it, and I went on in to our table. In hindsight he should’ve just gotten it later cuz this threw everything off. The servers were confused even tho I told them he was coming. They still couldn’t grasp that concept, and they prepared the table for one. They brought coffee and even tho I told them repeatedly he was gonna want some,  they only poured it in my cup. When W got there he was Oscar the Grouch. He was rude to the servers and he was snappy. I called him on it, and he straightened up some after he had coffee.

 

I told him to please send Oscar back to wherever he came from. Don’t want him. We will take our old W back please and thank you. I will admit tho the service was a little more lax as the days went on. We were so impressed in the beginning of the cruise but as it went on that pep in their step turned into a walk of woe. They must have a great Team Meeting Pep Rally right before every cruise. I can see them cheering on their teams cuz they are planning on taking the Customer Service trophy for this voyage. They get pumped up! They get energized and ready to go! Then we get onboard. Those first few days they are still living in the afterglow of that celebration. They still have their eyes on the prize. But little by little, one by one, we passengers chip away at that positive energy. Every day brings a bucket of grumpy Snuffleupaguses their way until that particular one does it. The happy exterior is cracked and the “We will get that award next time”. “As long as I still get my paycheck I’m good” and the “OMG only __ number of days/weeks/months until my vacation. God just let me hold it together until then” feelings, along with the mid service come crashing back. And here we are. We are here.

 

Not to be deterred by Gargamel, this time I wanted to try the yogurt parfait. It always looks good in everyone’s pictures. I ordered that and the French Toast, Bacon, and Cheese Grits. When the server asked W what he wanted he drew a blank, so I answered for him. Now I’m starting to wonder if he bumped his head somewhere. W forgetting about food? Never. Not a chance. I still needed to get my free VIFP drink so I ordered that too. I’ll keep my eye on W during the meal. Does anyone know the concussion protocol? Maybe he’s concussed.

 

Our food came quick and we ate it swiftly. I took my cup to brunch to put my drink in, cuz I knew I wasn’t going to finish it there. There’s something about drinking coffee and a fruity cocktail that doesn’t match for me. Can’t wrap my brain around that one. Speaking of coffee it wasn’t all that great. Maybe the taste of disdain and dispassion for the next day’s disembarkation was already in that coffee. Whatever it was, it wasn’t desirable.

 

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The next move was to Deck 11. Anywhere outdoors was out of the question. Right when we got up to 11 we found a spot and jumped into the Mobile Trivia game. It was supposed to start at noon so I thought we missed it, but they have to give people time to get into the link. In order for W and I to play, we had to be able to see the screen, so we kinda had to sit right by this couple and it felt like we were stalking them. They looked at us at first like “what the heck are y’all doing so close to us?” Then when they realized we were playing the game, they relaxed. A little. It was still low key creeperistic. Sorry y'all. It was fun tho, and I need to see if I can purchase something like it online to play with my team.

 

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After that I sat for a little bit then I went to the T shirt sale. It was 2/$30. I’d been checking off and on to see if they were having it. I wanted to get a couple as gifts. On this ship, it wasn’t in one of the shops, it was in this little kiosk cutout. It was messy too. I had an idea of which shirts I liked, so I really just needed to find the right sizes. It was very grabby and snatchy. I was all “excuse me, oh I’m sorry” but nobody even acknowledged it, or said it back. Hmmm. This really takes some getting used to. I found two shirts that I liked,  paid, then walked out. I decided to go back and drop them off at the cabin before I went back to join W. I was tempted to go and watch the Q and A with MarQ that was just starting in the Teatro Rosso but I wasn’t sure if W was waiting for me, so I didn’t go.

 

On my way back to Deck 11, this man stopped me and asked me if I worked there. Hombre do I really look like a Carnival Venezia Team Member? Nothing about me screamed “I work here”. Absolutely. Nothing. I get that a lot tho. That’s why I wouldn’t be caught dead in a red top and khakis in Target. Somebody will surely ask me a question about something in the store. I think it’s more of the “I’m not confused, I know where I’m going, and what I’m doing look” that I usually have, than anything else. Even when I’m lost I still look like I know where I’m going and apparently I look like I can direct others too. I told him quickly that I didn’t work there, then me and my face moved along.

 

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