Hiding my shopping from the Hubby!

[AZPam]

Haven't seen this discussed before, but if it has been, sorry!

 

How many of you hide what you have purchased from your husband? I am convinced most of us have to do it some way or another so we don't have to go thru the third degree. I will typically leave it all in my trunk until it is "safe" to bring in and put away. Another favorite is to throw it into my dryer on the way in if DH is unexpectedly at home. I've even been known just to send it home with my Mom until a later date if all else fails!

 

It's not like we are in debt or anything. I pay off the credit card every month. I am just tired of hearing, "Do you really need that?"

 

Am I the only one who has to go to such extremes?

[missybirchfield]

I plead the 5th!! LOL!!

Yes, I do this also. What I do also is to take the tags off and stuff it in the back of my closet for awhile. Then when I finally do put it on, he asks "Is that NEW??" My answer is "OH NO, I've had this for a long time!!"

 

See I'm really not lying!! LOL

 

Missy

[gjules]

I do the same things!! I've been known to stop at the grocery store on the way home and carry groceries in with my other purchases...he never notices that when I put the bathroom stuff away, I detour to MY closet and dump a bag or two!! I'm afraid I have passed on my bad habits to my daughter, too!

I don't really know WHY I do it either, because we both work and he buys whatever he wants (at least I didn't bring home a Harely one day!!):eek: and he has NEVER said anything to me about buying too many shoes! I thought I was doing a pretty good job hiding them, too, until one day he confessed that he had known for a long time that I had a shoe problem!:o

[GreatTimes]

You're not serious are you? You have to hide your purchases from your husband?

 

What are you - a little girl, afraid of daddy?

 

Marriage is a partnership. If the bills are paid and (more importantly) you are saving an adequate amount for your retirement, why would you ever have to apologize for your purchases?

 

Unless you have a prior agreement that gives HIM total control over all finanacial matters (in which case you are a little girl, not a grown mature women), tell him to "stuff it" and just walk away.

 

If he has a legimate reason for trying to lower expenses, that's something else, but otherwise - tell him to "Blow it out his patootie".

 

I guess not all women have come a long way.

[Jane110]

 

How many of you hide what you have purchased from your husband? I am convinced most of us have to do it some way or another so we don't have to go thru the third degree.

 

I will typically leave it all in my trunk until it is "safe" to bring in and put away. Another favorite is to throw it into my dryer on the way in if DH is unexpectedly at home. I've even been known just to send it home with my Mom until a later date if all else fails! .........

....I am just tired of hearing, Do you really need that?"

 

Wow, sorry to hear you're put through this.

 

I've never experienced anything like this and I've never hid a purchase. I know what's in the budget and what's not. If I do want something that's very, very pricey, I'll ask DH his thoughts, and it's usually, "if you want it, buy it" but he'd never ask, "Do you really need that?". If he did, I'd just say "Yes" and end the discussion with that.

[alphakitty]

Just goes to show how different relationships have different dynamics. I would never consider hiding anything from my husband. I respect him way too much for that. On the other hand, he would never question my purchases or use money as a control over me. He respects me too. We discuss all major purchases together and small ones we both are just free to do as we wish, without negative judgement.

 

kitty

[esther e]

This is something that boggles my mind. Why on earth would you have to "hide" soemthing? I could never, never be married to anyone who I would have to hide a purchase from. Or vice-versa. Nor my daughter or daughter-in-law. Nobody in this family is "BOSS." I truly pity each of you who has a husband that you have to fear!!!! And it is fear; otherwise you could show off your purchaes. Unbelievable.

Esther

[caribbean dreams]

I have the oposite problem, my Husband is always trying to get me to buy things, he always says "why don't you buy that"

[wmorrell35]

Since I manage the money (ie: pay bills) it never occured to me to hide anything, by the same token, when I do buy clothes, I show him and I get "That's nice!". He never ask's how much it is, much less "do I need it". But, then again, he knows how frugel I am, so whatever I bought, it was a bargin to begin with....

[lv2cruz]

I agree AZ Pam! Some men ( my husband included) just does not get the reason why us woman want so many clothes! Thus the need to "hide" and say "what- i've had this for a while now", or" my sister gave it to me"!!!

It's all about not wanting to have to listen to a person who just does not get "why" some of us want to have a variety of clothes and shoes.

They nag worse than woman and i just dont wanna hear it!!! :)

[MSSQRL]

I can't imagine hiding anything from my husband. We have been married 27 years and during our early years of marriage we had financial struggles like most newlyweds. To keep from spending money we didn't have, we always talked to each other before we bought anything and I do mean anything. Now we are older, have the empty nest and are in much better middle income financial health, but we still talk to each other before spending money (not ask, but talk)

 

For the most part, we are joined at the hip (by choice) and so the only time I shop without him is when I go with my daughter. When I go with her, he always tells me to have a good time and to buy something. I'm not much of a shopper and so he would be absolutely floored if I went on a shopping trip and spent more than $75 or $100. But if I did, he'd say, "You work too, besides it's only money".

[brandylaw]

I Grew up in this type of environment :rolleyes:

I, though not married:( , have a great relationship

with my live in boyfriend of 5 years now.

He likes his toys, 4-wheelers, golf, fishing, etc...

and I like mine, clothes, makeup,travel, pets, etc....

I cant complain, after all, my honey bought me a 4 wheeler when he bought his. :D

No hiding here, thank goodness.

 

But I understand some peoples relationships...

It's easy to criticize others, just remember, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, and some peoples priorities are not the same as yours.

 

A woman died in PA recently over a sandwich. Didnt heat one up one for her husband, so he threw a microwave at her and killed her.

Although I am certainly NOT saying that is the same thing :eek: ,

People live in all sorts of relationships, and mine is not to criticize others(especially when the main reason to explain it is to make me feel better).

If sneaking a new blouse in the house is your main concern, good for you.

Next time, sneak something in for him and surprize him.:D

[Cruise Arizona]

One day he will say, honey if we need it, don't even worry about discussing a purchase with me. Just use your judgement and buy what you think we need.

 

Then the next day he gets the credit card bill and asks me what on earth I could possibly be spending all that money on.

 

When I do buy clothes for myself he couldn't care less about what they are. So I kind of do the old take the tags off and put it in the closet thing, and then he rarely even notices when I have new stuff, because he's not very perceptive. He did notice those two new pairs of jeans I bought a few weeks ago because he commented on how ugly one pair was.

 

My other trick is that if he mentions that he needs something, like long sleeve dress shirts for work, then it give me a chance to get somethng for myself while I'm out shopping.

 

I would not say that it is a really a matter of hiding or dicieving, but he's not really too interested in my purchases, so I just hang the stuff up and don't mention it to him unless on the rare occasion he notices.

 

Also, I thik that most husbands think that their wives spend way too much money on clothes, cosmetics, hair, ect.. no matter how much they actually spend.

 

Here's an example: When I was single I used ot get my hair professionally highlighted at about $60-120 a session every 8 weeks. I personally found that to be rediculouly expensive, so I started doing it myself. Now I buy all my supplies at Sally's and it probably costs me $30 for a years supply of frosting caps, color, bleach and developer. But DH sees me spend $30 at Sally's and wonders why hair stuff is so expensive.

 

I get my hair cut at Super Cuts, for about $15 including tip. He doesn't complain to much about that, because he know I could be paying $50 at a salon, but he does compare that cost to his hair cuts. His are freed I do them at home with a pair of clippers.

 

Anyway, sometimes we don't make a big deal of our purchasesbecause its not that our husbands will object, but they just want us to explain the purchase and then they usually are unhappy with the explaination.

[bazarr2]

Haven't seen this discussed before, but if it has been, sorry!

 

How many of you hide what you have purchased from your husband? I am convinced most of us have to do it some way or another so we don't have to go thru the third degree. I will typically leave it all in my trunk until it is "safe" to bring in and put away. Another favorite is to throw it into my dryer on the way in if DH is unexpectedly at home. I've even been known just to send it home with my Mom until a later date if all else fails!

 

It's not like we are in debt or anything. I pay off the credit card every month. I am just tired of hearing, "Do you really need that?"

 

Am I the only one who has to go to such extremes?

 

I had to laugh when I read this, I have something in my trunk right now.:D

[mom2b41]

I love this topic!! I have been in both situations...and I really do know and appreciate what it means to be married to a total CONTROL FREAK...:eek: I worked and paid my own bills..while he bought whatever he wanted...and if I bought anything I was questioned and ridiculed for it.so I had to learn to HIDE things:eek: ..needless to say...we are no longer married...:D Now I am re-married many years later and happy to say that I have a husband that does not question, or make me feel guilty for any purchases I make, and he enjoys it when I do a "fashion show" for him of my new clothes...I would never go back to having to hide...though I am sure that most of you probably do not have to go to the extremes that I did....:cool:

[AZPam]

So glad to hear that I am not the only one who deals with this. For you others, it's great to hear that you have such open relationships!

 

Shopping is my one and only vice in life. Do I need these things? Probably not, but they do bring me joy and I enjoy looking nice. It's the thrill of the hunt for me! Is my DH a control freak? Not at all. If truth be told, I am probably the controlling one. He's a great guy and we've been married almost 23 years, so you would think this really wouldn't be an issue.

 

I just hate hearing "Do you really need another pair of shoes/pants/shirt" or whatever treasure I found that day!

 

So, does anyone have any other great hiding places? :)

[Andee]

I could never be married to someone from whom I had to hide anything other than a birthday surprise, or who would question my judgment in deciding how many items of clothing I wanted to have.

 

He doesn't like to shop, but when we're in a store together, and I am trying to decide between two things, his standard response is, be the items socks or diamond bracelets, "Get both."

[Happy ks]

The only thing I "hid" yesterday was the new purse, for some reason he has a hard time with purses and shoes. Didn't have to "hide" the shoes because they haven't come yet :) .

 

My husband knows that I buy too much, he just shakes his head. But, I'm a bargain shopper and rarely spend full price for anything, I do have a hard time getting him to buy anything for himself.

 

I work, all my $ goes to the household, I don't take any allowance or anything, so I don't really worry about occasional purchases. Except for yesterday! I did take back the daughters shoes and all her dresses. We shopped together today and she finally found a dress she liked, it was $19, a far cry from what I had been choosing for her.

[missybirchfield]

In my case it is not about hiding things from my hubby. We are good honest people. My issue, stems from a previous marriage that was really bad. My current hubby never says anything about what or how much I spend. He doesn't care as long as I'm happy. This is an old issue with me that I know shouldn't be there anymore, but it is really hard to overcome!

 

Missy

[rvrgirl]

In my case it is not about hiding things from my hubby. We are good honest people. My issue, stems from a previous marriage that was really bad. My current hubby never says anything about what or how much I spend. He doesn't care as long as I'm happy. This is an old issue with me that I know shouldn't be there anymore, but it is really hard to overcome!

 

Missy

 

Yikes! I can't believe what I'm hearing:p I don't no, maybe you don't work and make an income? Ok, But if you make an income....don't go there:cool:

[CateW]

I love this topic. I've been on a little shopping binge lately - just the other day got another delivery of something that I ordered. DH just laughed when I got home from work and said are we just going to get something every day until we leave? That's 100 days from now :eek: One of our sons works for UPS - the other day one of his buddies came across one of my orders and he brought it home, instead of having it delivered - burning the candle from both ends....lol

[Norfolk Brit]

Haven't seen this discussed before, but if it has been, sorry!

 

How many of you hide what you have purchased from your husband? I am convinced most of us have to do it some way or another so we don't have to go thru the third degree. I will typically leave it all in my trunk until it is "safe" to bring in and put away. Another favorite is to throw it into my dryer on the way in if DH is unexpectedly at home. I've even been known just to send it home with my Mom until a later date if all else fails!

 

It's not like we are in debt or anything. I pay off the credit card every month. I am just tired of hearing, "Do you really need that?"

 

Am I the only one who has to go to such extremes?

 

Hope you hide these boards from him too, otherwise your little secret is no longer.

 

Mary

[Scrumpy]

Interesting topic. I don't hide things from my husband. I have had shopping binges where I knew I'd gone OTT and felt ashamed of myself, but he has only made me feel that way one time - bought a Kirby vacuum cleaner (dang door-to-door salesmen anyway!) when we really shouldn't have spent so much on an item that made our THIRD vacuum. He just said he wished I hadn't done it. He didn't harp on it or anything and I was well aware that it probably wasn't a smart move and certainly not a necessary one. I may be more aware of my spending and more prone to feeling guilty occasionally because I haven't worked in 5-6 years now. Generally, it's "our" money and he doesn't question anything. Tonight, we went shopping together and the stated goal was to see what size I wore. We weren't really planning on buying anything; I was going to order online. $500 later...and I had him pick his favorites because the salesladies would have gladly sent us home with twice as much. It is almost unheard of for me to spend that much in ONE store, but he was there and he's happy. Would I do that frequently? No way. I have too many clothes that don't get worn as it is. I dress up for weddings, funerals, and on a cruise. Otherwise, it's jeans, tees, or riding breeches (and we won't even talk about how much those can cost!).

[missybirchfield]

Yikes! I can't believe what I'm hearing:p I don't no, maybe you don't work and make an income? Ok, But if you make an income....don't go there:cool:

As a matter of fact, I do work. Unless you have been in my shoes, you would not understand.

 

Missy

[momofmeg]

Haven't seen this discussed before, but if it has been, sorry!

 

How many of you hide what you have purchased from your husband? I am convinced most of us have to do it some way or another so we don't have to go thru the third degree. I will typically leave it all in my trunk until it is "safe" to bring in and put away. Another favorite is to throw it into my dryer on the way in if DH is unexpectedly at home. I've even been known just to send it home with my Mom until a later date if all else fails!

 

It's not like we are in debt or anything. I pay off the credit card every month. I am just tired of hearing, "Do you really need that?"

 

Am I the only one who has to go to such extremes?

 

Yes it has been discussed here before-but it has been at least a year!

 

I guess I have a wonderful husband because he has NEVER treated me in such a way that I have to hide from him my purchases-but then he is also very proud when I look nice-and he realizes if I am going to look nice that it means I must buy nice things.

 

I guess I have the most wonderful man in the world compared to some of your stories.

 

One thing though-I am NOT a shop-aholic- I buy what is needed and do not buy a bunch of stuff that I only wear maybe once or twice-for the most part-I have been guilty a few times-and I am a very savvy shopper-I buy most of my stuff on clearance-as I would rather put our money into nice vacations then on my body. I want to look as attractive and nice as possible- but I do not go overboard.

 

I really feel the only reason a husband would object to his wife's purchases-is if she has their finances threatened by having bulit up a huge credit card debt or soemthing like that.

 

I also wonder-don't you have your own money that is separate from the household accounts/expenses that you can spend on what you want? You and your husband BOTH should have so much set aside each month that BOTH of you spend on what you want.