Hiding my shopping from the Hubby!

[Lois R]

Hi Joyce:) Thanks for the offer but one of my friends at work

is very computer savy. I will ask him to help me.

If I need you I will let you know, how about that?:D Is that ok?

 

And as to feeling safe...thanks for the compliment but my

opinions aren't any better or worse than others who post here.

They are just that...opinions;)

[ciderapple]

Interesting thread.

 

I remember being "flamed" and having to defend my marriage for my "naughty shopping" post a couple of months back.

 

I am glad to see there are plenty of other women like me who have wonderful, loving, generous and uncontrolling husbands who just don't understand why we "need" as much as we do!

 

I feel so much better now than I did after the old thread I had posted.

[ladycaveat]

Think everyone else has pretty much said what I would have said had I been one of the first to reply to your post. If you actually have to hide something you've bought from your husband . . . I think I'd sit down and have a talk with hubby about finances.

 

I've been married twice and while I worked during my first marriage (though he made twice what I did) . . . neither of us ever questioned purchases made by the other. My second marriage . . . I didn't have to work and he encouraged me to shop till I dropped (hum . . . and exactly why did I divorce him? . . . :D ). I've been on my own for the past twelve years and the only thing I have to answer to is my Visa and American Express accounts . . . and they are paid off in full every month.

 

One should never have to hide purchases made and I really do hope you and hubby have a meetings of the mind with regard to your family's finances.

[LandLockedInAZ]

Hi Joyce:) Thanks for the offer but one of my friends at work

is very computer savy. I will ask him to help me.

If I need you I will let you know, how about that?:D Is that ok?

 

And as to feeling safe...thanks for the compliment but my

opinions aren't any better or worse than others who post here.

They are just that...opinions;)

 

Hi Lois,

I'd be more than happy to help you out if your coworker isnt' available.

 

And I think what I was trying to say is that you always have a way of saying things without ruffling any feathers and I respect that very much.

[Host Star]

I had no problem shopping till I dropped.. Hubby had a boat that I figured every time he went out and caught a fish it cost us $85.00 a lb. vs. 3.99 a lb. in the fish market :) so we never had any discussions on who bought what.. lol

[MrsMoose2001]

I have to say something, something I left out in my other post.

 

I never will judge what is right in someone elses marriage/relationship.

 

What works for me and my DH may not work for anyone else. So I hope by what I wrote what I do and or don't do in my marriage is in no way a statement on what anyone else should or should not do.

 

Only the two people in the relationship/marriage know what is good for them.

 

Personally I don't think it matters wheather the question was in jest or not, the OP didn't ask if it's right or wrong she just asked if anyone else does it the way I read the message.

 

So to the OP I wish to appologize if I gave any impression that I was judgeing you, I wasn't, you asked if anyone else did, and I wrote what I do/don't do. In no way was that a judgement/advice on what you should/should not do.

 

On to another topic, well we test drove the Element (my wish to test drive it) the Accord and the Accura, he is leaning toward the Acura (made my Honda for those non-car people) which I agree with him, lol.

 

I did the negotiating of the prices. He hates to do that so I do it for him. He will take his decision when he is ready.

[MrsMoose2001]

Mrs Moose:) I consider a car purchase a big investment. Hope he finds

what he is looking for!

Actually last time I got a new car my dad wanted to come along;)

Not the same as a hubby of course, but I guess he was just looking

out for me. (Even though I got my last 3 cars prior without him)

I guess we are never too old to be our Dad's girls:D

 

You are so right a car is a big purchase investment. He had it pretty well narrowed down to the Accord or an Acura before we went shopping.

 

After last night I don't blame your dad. Car salesmen (no offense to any if you are here) are just unbelievable.

 

The Honda dealer knows us, sold us 2 out of our last 3 Hondas and he still treats me like I don't exisit to a great extent and the Acura dealer the salesmen was nice, but his boss was another matter. That's why hubby didn't sign on the dotted line last night. The salesmen genuinely wanted to make a deal, but he needed the approval of the sales manager and he was a joke, screwing around with words and terms (of our trade in as it's a cash sale no financing) he didn't realize that when it comes to the negotiating part, I take control. Hubby can decide on what car, but I will talk terms, at one point he was screwing around with a $60 ashtray and I said, you gonna loose a deal for a $60 ashtray? I'm outta here, I got to get home to watch my TV show, you are wasteing my time, I said to DH, let's go, and he stopped us, so he just screwed and screwed till I got fed up and said, I'm tired, I'm going home since you are so undecisive we will be back tomorrow, maybe you will be able to be accurate after you have thought about it or I can just go to the other Acura dealer who may not have to make phone calls to the owner to get his approval, poor salesman, he was royally pissed at his boss.

[LandLockedInAZ]

I did the negotiating of the prices. He hates to do that so I do it for him. He will take his decision when he is ready.

MrsMoose- that is awesome! From reading your other post on this same subject, I wish I had your skills in this area! DH and I also get so frustrated. It's enough to make us want to just stick with our old cars. Whoever wrote the book that these salespeople follow really didn't understand how to win over buyers. I admire your spirit!

[Jane110]

 

he didn't realize that when it comes to the negotiating part, I take control. Hubby can decide on what car, but I will talk terms, at one point he was screwing around with a $60 ashtray and I said, you gonna loose a deal for a $60 ashtray? I'm outta here, I got to get home to watch my TV show, you are wasteing my time, I said to DH, let's go, and he stopped us, so he just screwed and screwed till I got fed up and said, I'm tired, I'm going home since you are so undecisive we will be back tomorrow, maybe you will be able to be accurate after you have thought about it or I can just go to the other Acura dealer who may not have to make phone calls to the owner to get his approval, poor salesman, he was royally pissed at his boss.

 

You and MrMoose have a great dynamic between the two of you so I can just picture the whole scene in the showroom.

I would have loved to have been a fly on that wall!

 

I know you, you'll get the car you want with the ashtray you want on your terms. No doubt in my mind! :D

 

But of course, MY most important question is: What color is the car?

 

Jane (who can't tell one car from another)

[MrsMoose2001]

Hi Ladies,

First thank you ladies for the compliments. Trust me I will get the ashtray included and the rims for the snow tires (70$ x 4 I think). That is for makeing me miss the last episode of Deal or no Deal. I just love Howie Mandel.

 

The first dealer (Honda as in Element and Accord), said, well let's evauate your trade in and we can play with numbers. I said, what? You want to rip me off I don't think so, you give me the price of the car, then you will evautate my trade in which will also be evaulated by an independent place and then we will subtract. I said that is the proper way to do business, but on second thought since I have already purchased two from you and you are doing this, I think I will have to rethink who I am doing business with and DH just looked at me and I said well now we can leave and go to the Acura dealer across the street maybe he doesn't need to "play with numbers". And off we went. (after we test drove the Element and the Accord)

 

Hubby doesn't have it in him to say "F*)&))& this ****, you are wasteing my time with it being the last episode of the Apprentice, and yes I actually said that.

 

The sales manager at the Acura dealer also decided to say "well paying a bit extra because you are getting nice friendly service should be ok" and I said, I'm buying a car that costs XXX much and you want me to pay for friendly service? I don't think so, I expect the friendly service to be free or you can give me unfriendly service and lower the price, I'm not driving the service. Hubby can't do it and it really comes across as tough as nails with the NYC accent. I also told him money talks and bull**** walks, since he had 2 other "lookers" while we were there and both left without buying one because he just couldn't afford it. I said, look he is leaving, he says he can't afford it, and you are wasteing my time when I'm ready to buy? Money talks bull**** walks.

 

Yes, you had to be there. We are going back tonight. Hopefully the sales manager will be a little more decisive after he has had time to dwell on the sale that he might loose as I have no problem going to the other dealer.

 

The salesman was almost in tears and on his knees for us to sign, he had my hubby's credit card in his hot little hands when I snached it all back. He was out in the parking lot with us telling me I don't have to see the manger tomorrow if I would just please come back and promised me a "ball cap and mug" for all the trouble. I said, screw the cap and mug, just give me the ashtray and rims and a full tank of gas upon pickup so that I don't have to stop at a gas station to fill up and a couple of free oil changes since you wasted my time I need to be compensated, time is money.

 

The color is going to be either black or charchol grey (almost black in this case). Leather seats, blue tooth technology, programable seats for two drivers, two thermostats for a/c, heated seats for the winter, and a host of other stuff that can break that I don't care about like what the current temperature is outside.

 

Yes, I think you ladies would have loved every min of it. DH just stands there and watches me go and enjoys every minute of it. I go in with an attitude of don't screw with me.

 

The actual salesman at the Acura dealer got the picture immediately that it will be "talking terms", but the sales manager didn't. You know, man and can etc, he needed to be put in his place. Ladylike does describe my demeanor when I'm at a car dealer. I know they don't like doing business with women and I make sure that I get them better of them not the other way around.

 

One time when I first moved here I still had my NYC driver's licence as it was only about 2 months that I was here, and DH went for a new car, and the salesman was screwing around, I took charge, said, I can get this car in the USA for a lot less (which was absolutely true, I have my ducks in order before I speak), he said, but you can't you need a US licence, I said, no probs, took out my NYC licence, and rubbed it under his "dislike of female buyers nose" and proceeded to quote him the USA price, the exchange rate and the taxes that I would have to pay to bring in the car, he stood there in amazement and he dropped the price real quick and hubby got his car. After that, hubby let's me do all the negotiating with everything.

 

I know exactly how much my trade in is worth and DH told me how much the car should cost. I expect a couple of things like the ashtray and the rims thrown in, a full tank of gas and a few free oil/filter changes it's a simple matter of not being screwed.

 

I bet all you ladies could do it too. Just square your shoulders and go in with a non-ladylike attitude and act like Donald Trump and get in their face instead of them getting into yours.

[Jane110]

Whew!!!

 

GO GO GO MrsMoose!!! :D

 

Great story. Thanks for sharing!

 

Jane

[mrsred]

Way to go Mrs. M!

 

What kind of ashtray costs $70?!?

 

I will say that I love my Acura, and MIL has an Accord which is a great car as well! We drove it out for them when they moved last year....and that little car has some get up and go (shhhhhh!!! Don't tell!)

 

It is amazing that in this day and age women are still not treated as competent or educated enough to purchase a vehicle.

 

DH does all of the research and chooses the model. I negotiate (and *suggest* the color ;) ). Like your DH mine knew what we were going to pay and informed them up front that it would be cash and what we were paying. They try to be slick...and I have to wonder if they believe that really works?????

 

When our car wasn't in on time we did get a great loaner car, but on the 3rd day when it wasn't in we got a car just like the one we ordered...but they threw in the GPS. Wasn't that nice of them!

 

If you figure out the Bluetooth...let me know! DH says my phone can talk to the car...and I guess that's suppose to be a good thing! LOL!

 

Enjoy!

 

~e

[Host Mama]

Just a bit of background first....Hubby used to be out of town a lot, so it was up to me to get the oil changed in the car, minor repairs done, licenses bought, etc. etc. etc.

Well..ok..now for the story...I know you all just cant wait to hear this one:-)

This was a few years back, and its been a few years since he asked me to do any of the above...tee hee

Once upon a time, I was to take the car to the dealership for routine maintenance, oil change, etc. While all this was being accomplished, one of the salesmen, who used to be a friend of ours, told me that I really should drive another Town car that they had just gotten in. Seems it belonged to a little old lady who hardly ever drove it, you know that story, right? Well this time it actually was true. It was a year old, and had less than 1,000 miles on it. To make a rather long story short....when he got home at the end of the week, it was sitting in the garage. I tried, and tried..it just wouldnt fit in the back of the closet or under the bed:-) And I did what he asked me to do...I got the oil changed, just not in the same car.

Host Mama (who has never had to ask could she buy anything)

[mrsred]

Just a bit of background first....Hubby used to be out of town a lot, so it was up to me to get the oil changed in the car, minor repairs done, licenses bought, etc. etc. etc.

Well..ok..now for the story...I know you all just cant wait to hear this one:-)

This was a few years back, and its been a few years since he asked me to do any of the above...tee hee

Once upon a time, I was to take the car to the dealership for routine maintenance, oil change, etc. While all this was being accomplished, one of the salesmen, who used to be a friend of ours, told me that I really should drive another Town car that they had just gotten in. Seems it belonged to a little old lady who hardly ever drove it, you know that story, right? Well this time it actually was true. It was a year old, and had less than 1,000 miles on it. To make a rather long story short....when he got home at the end of the week, it was sitting in the garage. I tried, and tried..it just wouldnt fit in the back of the closet or under the bed:-) And I did what he asked me to do...I got the oil changed, just not in the same car.

Host Mama (who has never had to ask could she buy anything)

 

LOL!

 

That is too cute! I guess he's pretty quick on offering to get the oil changed now for you! ;)

 

~e

[MrsMoose2001]

Thanks Jane and ladies,

 

I always take the car in for repairs, oil change etc. On my last trip for repair the dealer had the car for two days and when i called they said they had no record of the car amongst other things. I got a $200 rebate on the work because I felt a dealer should not misplace my car and put me on hold for 10 min to "look for the car". Actually it was the finance manager that "found the car" and believe me I had something to say about that one.

 

Well we now own the new car we will have it officially thursday night. I got the ashtray (yes it's $70 to buy it) 4 rims plus a full tank of gas and 2 free oil changes at the price that was originally offered (the good price) with the trade in value I expected.

 

I walked in and said " so Frank, deal or no deal?" I told the manager I expected to be compensated for my time, he said, what about the salesman's time, i said, what time, he had no other takers he was just sitting around wasteing time before we showed up, don't go there.

 

DH is happy, I'm happy and all is well.

 

We got the charcoal grey with the black leather seats.

 

I will tell you how the blue tooth works with the car.

 

That is too cute Host Mama, love it.

[Jane110]

MrsMoose,

 

Congrats on the new car purchase.

Loved your quips about the salesman's time and enjoyed the other stories too MrsRed and Mama.

 

I have none to contribute....I've never bought a car!

 

Jane

[MrsMoose2001]

MrsMoose,

 

Congrats on the new car purchase.

Loved your quips about the salesman's time and enjoyed the other stories too MrsRed and Mama.

 

I have none to contribute....I've never bought a car!

 

Jane

 

Thanks Jane, glad you liked my stories, I found them annoying at the time they all happen, but after writing about them I find them so funny and that's why I shared them with y'all.:)