Hiding my shopping from the Hubby!

[choc56uk]

wow.i thought i was the only one ever to do this...............my wardrobe is stuffed with all sorts that i dont tell him about he he he;) ;) ;)

 

all in a bit of fun ok.........as hes a lovelly man and we r crusing very soon.......

 

but i need to do that shopping therapy thing now and again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[AZPam]

I am a firm believer in retail therapy! I think we all need it every so often, even if we don't tell the husband about it! :D

[obnurse]

Wow! I'm shocked at these responses. Our marriage (29 yrs tomorrow) is based on mutual respect. I don't hide anything from him, nor does he hide from me. But, don't need permission from each other to spend (reasonably). We know what the budget is and we stay within it. I believe in retail therapy as much as the next girl.....just not in deceiving my partner. Just consider how you would feel if you found he was hiding purchases from you.... It's all about mutual respect.

[seamama1]

Reading this thread reminds me why I haven't remarried since "number two" and I divorced 25 years ago....

 

Oh, I LOVE being single!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) :) :)

[Buster27]

Good grief !!! I've been married 30 years this July. We certainly have mutual respect for each other. But we don't have to report every little purchase. My husband would think I'd lost my mind if I made him look at everything I bought. Nor would he be the slightest bit interested in my new make up or new blouse etc.

 

Nor would I be interested in seeing every new golf club or electronic gizmo he brings home.

 

We both work full time, know our budgets and pay our bills together. It's not a matter of "hiding" things.

 

When I wear or use something new and he complements me, I always tell him it's new. A lot of times, he doesn't even notice something new.

 

I hardley think this practice is shocking...it's perfectly normal.

[choc56uk]

i totally agree with u in this...........

 

this is exactly how we have stayed married for 30 yrs

[obnurse]

I don't report on everything I buy, either. Nor does he. We don't check up on each other with every little purchase. I don't really care what he buys. I rarely show him what I buy unless I'm particularly excited about something. But, I think you missed the point. These ladies are deliberately hiding their purchases. Throwing things into the dryer if he comes along or throwing things into the back of the closet for awhile or sendnig packages home to someone elses house. Come on.....there's a difference between purposefully hiding purchases and just not discussing (or reporting) every little thing bought.

[Buster27]

I think actually "hiding" your purchases has more to do with the wife's feelings of guilt over buying something she probably doesn't need or maybe couldn't really afford. She doesn't want to explain herself and the purchase to her husband.

 

Maybe she's somehow justified the purchase to herself but doesn't want to have to do the same to her husband. I agree this is a whole different type of thing than just not showing everything you buy.

 

I think some people have shopping addictions, just like every other type of additions people have. They get their "high" from the purchase.

 

I'm certainly not saying this is the case with the original poster ! I wouldn't have anyway of knowing that, nor would anyone else on here.

[gjules]

Oh, BROTHER!!! Once again, I think some of you have misinterpreted this thread! I believe it was made more in jest than anything else. My husband is not controlling at all...I buy what I want when I want and so does he. We both have jobs and don't make bad money. Sure, I have feelings of guilt, but in NO WAY are they connected to my husband! In some weird way, they are probably connected to my childhood. When I DO show my husband my latest purchase, he just kind of blows it off...he simply doesn't care to know about every pair of shoes I buy and every penny I save on those shoes! If I sneak them in, it's MY problem not his. My husband is not abusive, controlling, mean or anything else...he just doesn't care...and I don't care about all his hunting paraphernalia he buys either...PLEASE don't show me your newest hunting boots...:rolleyes: Sneak them in if you feel you must, but I don't really care about them!

[Jane110]

GJules,

 

The way you and your husband interact about purchases is completely within the realm of what's healthy and normal in a marriage. Some couples share the their shopping experiences, some don't. There's no right or wrong way.

 

But the OP of this thread was not saying anything in jest. She feels the need to hide her purchases in the dryer or in the trunk of her car, or asks a relative to sneak them in the house and then hides them in the back of the closet so that she doesn't have to answer to her husband. There's nothing funny there.

[AZPam]

I have to say I've really enjoyed reading everyone's take on my original post! :D I never realized there were so many different ways to reading something that, yes, was meant in jest. Doesn't matter, it's been fun seeing how much of a to-do this has been made in to. Some of you get it and some of you don't and that's what makes this world go around. It would be a pretty borning chat room if everyone thought alike, wouldn't it?

[love2vacation]

Frankly my DH could care less about seeing everything I purchase and vice versa.

 

But once in a while I see your point. It is fun to "surprise" them!

 

(I have a wood and wicker stool/ottoman in my trunk right now, purchsed it Saturday. ;) Pier 1 was having a great sale and it fits a space I have perfectly. He is out of town all this week, so while he is gone I will put it in our bedroom on his side of the room. I bet he doesn't notice it for weeks after he comes home!!)

 

Happy shopping.........:D

[gjules]

Oh, well...Yep, I guess we all read it differently and that's ok...maybe we should all just drop the subject and go shopping! I'm not going to tell my husband. Whether or not the rest of you do is up to each of you.

 

I need another new purse and I'm seriously thinking of those snap together shoes! (I mentioned those to hubby and what an eye roll I got with that! He said they'd be fine, but he wants to be there when the snap comes undone and I walk out of them and fall flat on my face! I didn't think THAT was very nice!!):o But that's ok, I'll keep him anyway:rolleyes:

[MrsMoose2001]

Wow, interesting to read all the different interpretations.

 

My DH doesn't care what I buy, when I buy it nor do I care about his purchases. I have no guilt about anything I buy nor does he.

 

Sometimes we talk about it if we feel like it but it's up to us as individuals and depending on our topic of conversation.

 

I have no need to hide my stuff and no need to show him my stuff and he feels the same way. He sees it when I wear it and that's enough for him.

 

Sometimes we share if we want, but it's left to us as individuals.

 

Tonight we are going new car shopping. Have no choice as car dealers are closed here on sat and sunday. We have two cars, but I don't really care what he buys, if he wants my opinion he will ask for it, but he can basically pick what he wants, as long as it has a/c and automatic (I hate stick shift), he can pick what he wants. Since we both drive each others cars I let him choose the model/color. We are only changing one and since both are now Hondas and we both agree that we are sticking with Honda the choice is up to him completely.

[Host Star]

Reading this thread reminds me why I haven't remarried since "number two" and I divorced 25 years ago....

 

Oh, I LOVE being single!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) :) :)

 

LOL.. well, I'm widowed and if you ever hear me say I'm getting married again, please shoot me :D

[gjules]

Tonight we are going new car shopping. Have no choice as car dealers are closed here on sat and sunday. We have two cars, but I don't really care what he buys, if he wants my opinion he will ask for it, but he can basically pick what he wants, as long as it has a/c and automatic (I hate stick shift), he can pick what he wants. Since we both drive each others cars I let him choose the model/color. We are only changing one and since both are now Hondas and we both agree that we are sticking with Honda the choice is up to him completely.

 

We like Hondas, too! I have an Accord and it was a Civic that my son just totaled:( His second Civic, too (and second to be totaled!) :mad: and he wants to stick with Honda. His next will be OLD, since the insurance company has given him a very low amount that his next car can be worth! Lesson to all: USE EXTREME CAUTION WHEN MAKING LEFT TURNS!!:o Hopefully he has learned that lesson now!! I love my Accord!

[monakayk]

Haven't seen this discussed before, but if it has been, sorry!

 

How many of you hide what you have purchased from your husband? I am convinced most of us have to do it some way or another so we don't have to go thru the third degree. I will typically leave it all in my trunk until it is "safe" to bring in and put away. Another favorite is to throw it into my dryer on the way in if DH is unexpectedly at home. I've even been known just to send it home with my Mom until a later date if all else fails!

 

It's not like we are in debt or anything. I pay off the credit card every month. I am just tired of hearing, "Do you really need that?"

 

Am I the only one who has to go to such extremes?

 

:o In all truth and honesty...I think there is not one woman or MAN that has not done that a time or two. At least "put it away" until later at a more opportune time to let the other spouse see it! LOL.

My main thing I guess I have "put away till later" is jewelry. Clothing and other stuff is not a biggy. But now with jewelry I just put it away and when an occasion comes around (like a party or dinner out) with friends comes along...then I put it on. I do not say a word about it...just wear it. And believe it or not...the hubby never even mentions it! Go Figure! But if I had dumped it in front of him the min. I had purchased it....ohhhhhh dear me....he would say, "why on Earth do you NEED another ring/necklace, etc?!!!" And Ladies....you all know...WE DO NEED another ring/necklace, etc. LOL.

Anyhow, even though I pay/make money to cover these pieces of jewerly myself...I really don't need him to be interrogate about them. And you know what....I have seen the DH using a new tool (expensive) that he didn't show me he bought before too! LOL.

Great question...and don't let anyone make you feel guilty. It is just one of those human things that soooooooo many people do that really is not harmful---in most cases.

:o Cya,:o

[monakayk]

 

So, does anyone have any other great hiding places? :)

 

:o Great hiding places....well how about under the bed in that box with your winter sweaters! LOL.

:o Cya,:o

[seamama1]

LOL.. well, I'm widowed and if you ever hear me say I'm getting married again, please shoot me :D

 

Same here! Too much investment, not enough return! I like to have a man in my life - just not in my house! Actually, I prefer he live at least 2 hours away (no chance he will think it is just fine to "drop over").:p

[love2vacation]

Same here! Too much investment, not enough return! I like to have a man in my life - just not in my house! Actually, I prefer he live at least 2 hours away (no chance he will think it is just fine to "drop over").:p

 

LOL, my sister-in-law says this same thing. She has no need to remarry. (She is divorced, but has a BF- he has his own place, she doesn't want to live with anyone anymore.)

 

By the way- I brought in the ottoman and it looks great, but I still think he won't even notice it for weeks. He wouldn't have noticed my new glasses last week if I hadn't told him about them!

 

Most men aren't too observant.......................

[AZPam]

:o Great hiding places....well how about under the bed in that box with your winter sweaters! LOL.

:o Cya,:o

Winter sweaters? What are those? I live in Phoenix and it was 113 all weekend! :D

[Lois R]

Another gal who is unattached here~

 

I believe Star mentioned she is a widow and Seamama is divorced.

Seamama, I have been divorced for 21 years now.

 

I won't say "shoot me";) but I doubt I will ever marry again.

I can't recall the last time I even had a date. Not complaining,

just stating the way it is. Having a man is just not important

to me right now. Maybe I will feel differently down the road,

I will never say never...but right now..well, I have had the clicker

for myself for many years:D he would have to be very special to

start sharing it again LOL...(just a little joke)

 

I have read this thread since the OP first started it.

 

Everyone has their own thoughts, feelings and opinions on the topic.

 

I respectfully disagree with the few gals who have said

it is normal to hide stuff and that we all have probably done it

at one time or another.

Not sure how someone can know what everyone else has

done in their lives.

What works for one person might not necessarily work for someone

else.

 

Mrs Moose:) I consider a car purchase a big investment. Hope he finds

what he is looking for!

Actually last time I got a new car my dad wanted to come along;)

Not the same as a hubby of course, but I guess he was just looking

out for me. (Even though I got my last 3 cars prior without him)

I guess we are never too old to be our Dad's girls:D

[LandLockedInAZ]

Everyone has their own thoughts, feelings and opinions on the topic.

 

I respectfully disagree with the few gals who have said

it is normal to hide stuff and that we all have probably done it

at one time or another.

Not sure how someone can know what everyone else has

done in their lives.

What works for one person might not necessarily work for someone

else.

 

OK, Lois, now that you're here, I guess I'll jump in too!

I agree with your statement that you disagree and at the same time add that, IMO, others can't know what is going on in a relationship by just reading a few words on their computer screens. The OP says she was posting in jest and I have no reason not to believe her. Why would anybody feel they have a right to judge someone based on this one little thing?

 

And BTW, Lois, what happened to your avatar?

[Lois R]

Hi Joyce,:) you could have jumped in even if I hadn't.

 

As to my Avator, I had a few friends tell me to update

my picture. So I got rid of that old one. It was actually on the

rooftop of a restaurant in Charleston, SC back in 2002 while

I was on vacation.

Now, I got all those photos put on my webshots and yahoo

site but I don't know how to crop one of them down small

enough to put a new Avator on here.

So I figured the sun would be good for now:)

[LandLockedInAZ]

Hi Joyce,:) you could have jumped in even if I hadn't.

 

Yes, I know, but I enjoy reading your opinions on everything and somehow felt "safer" following you! If I can just say "Yeah, what she said", I know I won't go wrong. :)

 

As to my Avator, I had a few friends tell me to update

my picture. So I got rid of that old one. It was actually on the

rooftop of a restaurant in Charleston, SC back in 2002 while

I was on vacation.

Now, I got all those photos put on my webshots and yahoo

site but I don't know how to crop one of them down small

enough to put a new Avator on here.

So I figured the sun would be good for now:)

 

Even though I'm not much one for posting photos or too much info about myself (did once post photos so I could show some gowns I'd sewn), I really like seeing your smile at the top of your posts.

 

p.s. I'm a whiz with Image Composer and would be happy to help you crop your photo. Is there a way to send a PM so I could give you my email address?