Just got back from first solo cruise

[SheriNtexas]

Here is my very brief background: I was divorced a year ago after being married for 19 years. We have 3 kids, ages 20, 18 and 16, and I have a 2 1/2 year old grandson and a granddaughter on the way. My mom and I went on our first cruise back in October out of Galveston and I absolutely fell in love with cruising! My mom and I are going again in April, my 16yo daughter and I are going on the Conquest in July, and I am going on my first singles cruise in September, leaving out of New York. Well, i booked a last minute cruise on Splendour of the Seas that sailed on 2/8 out of Galveston. While it was nice to have that room all to myself, I HATED eating in the windjammer by myself! Now this was a R&R trip for me, so i didn't go to any shows, the casino, any lounges, or even meals in the dining room. I didn't hang out by the pool all day. I have never been very social, and i realize i will have to get used to being single. I also realize that in any situation you get out of what you put into something. I just felt like i had a sign on my head that said, "She has NO ONE to eat with, she is lonely"! :( I know i will eventually have to come out of my shell and socialize, but i am who i am and have been this way a long time! Well, several months ago i booked Voyager of the Seas for april of 2008. It is a 7 day cruise. The ship looks really exciting, but after this 4 day cruise, i don't know whether to keep that reservation or cancel! All my life i did for my kids or my husband, and now that HE decided he wanted to marry a girl who is 18 years younger than we are, i have to do some things for myself! April 2008 is a long ways away and I am in the process of losing about 60lbs, and i'm sure my self confidence will lift when that weight comes off. Should i keep trying and keep the april 2008 reservation for now? I don't want to give up cruising when i just discovered it because i won't always have someone to go with me! Has anyone here experienced this and how did you handle it? Sorry if i didn't keep this as brief as I should have!

[Steamboatin]

HI,

 

Would recommend that you seriously consider having your breakfast and lunch in the Dining Room and not at the Lido.

 

Reason, you will be seated at a large table on a first come basis with other passengers. Some married like wife and I, others singles traveling together and others solo's like yourself. So you have 10 to 12 people around a table ordering their meal from a menu and the waiter serves you your meal. The dress is very casual. Same as for Lido. We have gone in jeans or in shorts at times. Dress code is same as for Lido at breakfast and lunch.

 

Allow more time to eat as service is slower. But you will be seated at a table full of people willing and wanting (in most cases)to talk with one another. So that would be a better option for you.

 

We go mainly because we do not have to fight for a table in the Lido to eat at. Another big plus.

 

Something to think about and try the next time you cruise. Go for it.:D

[Thamsey]

Do I relate. I have a 26 day b2b booked for April of 2008, have never travelled by myself before but determined to do this. I want to do a transalantic and meditterian, so have booked and bought my insurance. Scared, I am terrified of being on my own for this long. I am shy until I get to know people and I am tired of always having to find travel companions.

I am doing this... and also could lose about 30lbs myself. Do not cancel start finding ways to build self confidence.Will check back in to see advice others give. Support group here for us singles would be great.

[Lois R]

Good morning:)

 

I have been at the opposite end of the spectrum from you.

Divorced for over 20 years so I have traveled and done most

of the things in life on my own. And I have never been shy.

Sorry you felt out of place:(

 

One suggestion I will make is to see if there is a Roll Call for

whatever cruise you choose. It is a great way to meet

others on your particular sailing. Usually they are really

helpful too:)

 

As for eating, I always request a large table for dinner and

as Steamboatin suggested, for lunch and dinner try the dining

room. Many times (most times actually) it is open seating and

you can sit with other folks...good way to meet people!

 

Also, during the day they offer different activities....example

is trivia....it is fun and a fun way to meet others too.

 

I am going on another solo cruise next month for

my birthday:) my gift.....from me to me!

If you check out my signature.....all of the cruises

except 2 were solo. I had a wonderful time on

all of them:D

 

You asked if you should cancel? You would be the only

one who knows that answer, If it were me, nope but

I love going solo. And I have never had the feeling

that people were staring....and if they were, that

is sad and it is their problem, not yours.

Sometimes the solo part is an ice breaker LOL...a lot of gals

think I am brave....I just say, I am 48 and have been on

my own for a long time, and If I don't have someone to travel with, well

I like my own company! I am not going to stay home because I don't

have a travel partner.

 

I have always been treated well by staff and crew

and love the whole cruising experience!!!

 

Didn't mean to get so long-winded on you!

[KarenR_UK]

Good morning:)

As for eating, I always request a large table for dinner and as Steamboatin suggested, for lunch and dinner try the dining room. Many times (most times actually) it is open seating and you can sit with other folks...good way to meet people!

 

Re dinner, I agree about the large table - I couldn't go if I didn't have the same people to eat with every day (and this means I am unlikely to go on my favourite, Oceana, again as she has been changed to 1/2 traditional and 1/2 'select' (aka personal) dining - as a (usually) late booker I am not prepared to take the risk I cannot get on traditional dining.:( )

I have always been single and with no major relationships since my early 30s and only discovered cruising a few years ago. It was instant love, so after 2 cruises, even though my friends wouldn't go again I was determined to and started to go solo. I find it difficult to make friends (though for some reason I find it easy to talk to total strangers:confused: ) so was a bit concerned but it was ok.

Last year I thought I wasn't going to be able to go, so considered a land holiday, but realised I would have to eat on my own, so didn't (eventually was able to cruise so all was well).

I'm not so concerned about breakfast and lunch, and generally find the buffet is so busy you have to share anyway - as long as I have dinner to look forward to, I can be alone all day (but rarely am).

Yes I get lonely sometimes and every year I am terrified as I board - but I want to go places, and I am not spending the next 20 years spending all summer at home waiting for someone to come along who is able to go on holiday with me:D

 

If you are into the ports consider a couple of ships tours - I always do them as I feel 'safer', and there are people around to talk to (those strangers again:D )

 

I think it would be worth considering trying again but with a slightly different setup - it might make all the difference.

 

Karen

[Lois R]

Karen, you said you are terrified before boarding? I am

so sorry to hear that:(.

Before sailing, my emotions are excitement and anticipation:D

 

My upcoming cruise is the first one in a long time in which

I have a very slow roll call.:confused: Usually 30 days out I have always

found tons of chatter.

I enjoy the comraderie of meeting others, but this time

I am just going with a different attitude...if the folks

on here don't want to chat, I will just meet others on

the ship instead (which I do anyway).

I have been lucky and hooked up with other ccrs for dinner

but this time it will be more of an adventure.

If it happens that my tablemates and I don't mesh, after

the first dinner I will go straight to the Maitr'd and ask for a change.

They are always very accomadating!

And my birthday is the day I sail.....can't get much

better than that:D

[cincicruisers]

I have done a cruise by myself and with otheres. One thing I will say is that the longer cruises allow you to meet and get to know others. I love the beaches at some ports and I usually find someone to share a cab with. (my biggest fear is the cab ride by myself)

I am looking into my next cruise. I went on the splendor recently, but it was only a 5 night and it was too short. I enjoy the shows even when alone, the casino, and the solarium to meet people. By far the dining room is the best method. I usually end up with more offers to spend the day with people than I want to take them up on which is a good thing. You get alone time, plus someone to share your day with.

Just my opinion.

As far as the family in the other thread. I fight the same battle. My family does not understand cruising alone. I guess I am a loser, but I love to cruise.

[Lois R]

Linda, you are not a loser!...my goodness, that is harsh:eek:

[F19810]

I remember my first solo cruise. I was on a HAL cruise to Alaska. Being 43 at the time, I was afraid that I would be the only young person on the cruisetour. As it turned out, I had a great table and the trip was my favorite vacation yet. I liked it so much, that I'm going back (on RCL) this year (also as a solo). After a couple of solo cruises and a couple solo land tours(and many solo ski trips), my biggest fear is not the tour but my bill after final payment. Those solo charges are a killer and they are what hold me back from cruising more often. The funny thing about cruising solo, more people talk to me when I am alone versus when I travel with family and friends. I am no longer scared about my solo travels, instead I am very excited about them and that is the way that it should be.

Judy

[Lifeisshortcruiser]

I say go and tell yourself that you will put yourself "out there" and mix and mingle. Great suggestions from others regarding dinner set up and you might even meet some people if you decide to to on some excursions. I'm doing a solo back to back from mid-May to mid-June in Europe (HAL) and absolutely can't wait to venture out. If I wait for the right guy (traveling partner) to come along....look how much I might miss out on....I'm worth more than that :-)

[airlink diva]

Don't sell yourself short!!!

First of all, let me tell you how brave that you are!! There are so many people in life who wait on others in order to have fun. You took that first step in saying that you are ready to enjoy life, even if you have to do it solo.

On your next cruise, go to dinner!! Many of the cruiseline place the solo travelers together. On my last cruise, I sat with a great collection of solo cruisers. We went to the shows after dinner, ate lunch and did tours together. I also had my me time where I wanted to be alone, but I also enjoy meeting others.

Go to the solo events. You find out that there are alot of solo people sailing. Even with the solo tax :cool: , crusing is still a value to solo travelers.

Let that inner Diva out girlfriend!!!:D

 

MY CRUISERS (solo **)

Fascination (Western Caribbean) 2001

Columbia (back to back Alaska cruise) 2002 **solo**

Oosterdam (Western Caribbean) 2004 **solo**

Westerdam (Western Caribbean) 2005 **solo**

Miracle (Western Carribbean) 2006 **solo**

Maasdam April 4, 2007 (My first 10 day cruise Southern Caribbean)**solo**

Disney Wonder 2008 (my nephew first cruise/family reunion)

[KarenR_UK]

Karen, you said you are terrified before boarding? I am

so sorry to hear that:(.

Before sailing, my emotions are excitement and anticipation:D

 

I was probably being a bit overdramatic there - Once the day arrives I have all those excitement feelings with a *bit* of anxiety mixed in. :)

 

I guess was just trying to make the point that it can be difficult at times, but in my epxerience the 'fun' outweighs any problems or anxieties I have :)

 

Karen

[DiveMaster]

Don't recall ever seeing any such sign over the head of any solo women I have seen in the 20 years I have cruised. Eat in the dining room at a large table. Go on ship shore excursions. Take ship tours. Walk around the decks. Met plenty of new widows, divorced folk, business women and the like who have gone solo. Have cruised when married, with just my kiddo (when aged 4-11) and with just myself - no big deal for the guys and should be no big deal for ladies.

 

 

I just felt like i had a sign on my head that said, "She has NO ONE to eat with, she is lonely"!

[NJDragonLady]

Hello from another new single (I prefer solo myself). I was married for 15 years (together 19...no kids) and the divorce was 1 year ago this week. :) I decided I wanted to do the things I never got to do when I was married (he hated to leave the house and I love to get out there and try new things)...so last year I went on two solo vacations by train (Washington DC for 5 days and Baltimore MD for the 4th of July weekend) and I had a blast. :D I also booked and took a singles cruise last October (I figured it would be nice to have a 'group' of people I belonged with) but, while I truly enjoyed the vacation, I realized that on a cruise you are never alone unless you want to be!!

I saw my group only at dinner, but I booked all my excursions before the cruise (some I ended up with my group members, some I was 'alone') and I had a blast (already booked another cruise for October). I am not an outgoing person by nature, :o but I (at first) pretended to be outgoing and very soon it came naturally to me (although it can still be intimidated sometimes). For example: Valentine's Day was rolling around and I wanted to do something for me...so I went into New York City for the day (I wish the weather was nicer) and I saw a play by myself (Wicked) and I took myself out to a nice meal...no big deal, no signs over my head or people whispering about me and I had a great time!! :D :D

Listen to all the good advice people gave you above, don't cancel and have a wonderful time!!!!

[FinelyRetired]

Definately keep the reservation for now.

 

I think as a solo you'll see a BIG difference in a 7 day versus that 4 day cruise right off the bat.

 

I take my first "solo" this August. DH and I were on a 10 day Panama Canal cruise in December (our 2nd cruise) and we observed a lot in anticipation of a future solo cruise for me since he does not fly long distances. I would need to go alone.....if I ever wish to see British Isles, Italy, etc. We came back quite comfortable that for a solo lady, cruising is a safe environment. We also had some decided thoughts should I choose a solo cruise:

 

1. 7 days is MINIMUM to avoid the "party hardy" crowd. Preference 10 days plus. I'm older than you.

 

2. Sign-up for TRADITIONAL Dining......get to know a few familiar faces & get a daily "touchbase." Etitquette rather obliges you to let your tablemates know if you will not be there of an evening. Safety to know you'd be missed.

 

3. Eat breakfast or lunch at Buffet! We loved the people who "joined" with us at the table and we both marveled at the folks we met who were fun, fascinating, some quite a bit older and solo, who put us to shame with their energy and joie de vivre. Again, they became familiar faces we'd just say "hi" to later on and maybe join if they had room at their table.

 

4. Take the Ship Excursions if you're solo. Common experiences naturally make a connection and again nice to see some familiar faces on board later.

 

5. Join into your ship's Roll Call here on Cruisecritic if there is one and attend their gathering if one is planned. DH was MOST skeptical about THAT...NOT inclined to participate........but was VERY comfortable when I'd run accross one or two and he met them and found out they were fun, great people.

 

6. Have something with you at all times to occupy yourself with, something you really like. You may just be eating alone sometimes or sitting at a table by the pool alone, etc. either by choice or by happenstance. Could be a crossword or puzzle book, a good novel you have wanted to read, a camera or a journal. I want to really learn my digital camera this summer and am determined to do a journal entry each day.

 

I find it hard to believe you wont find people to "chat with" if you're a mind to do so. And, when you recognize how many solos there are...and also...how many times 1 of a group goes off for some quiet time you will realize that there is no "SIGN" on you that you are alone.

 

If you have relatives or friends "raising their eyebrows" that you are going solo, simply tell them "It's Time For Me," you want to see these ports and for a solo it is the safest environment in which to do so.

 

I'm scheduled solo 12 day British Isles this summer. DH is comfortable and engaged and supportive and teasing me about my visit to see the "queen."

 

Martha

[cincicruisers]

Linda, you are not a loser!...my goodness, that is harsh:eek:

 

Sorry, I dont feel like one, but no matter how I try to explain to my family (sisters, brothers, mom, and dad) they dont understand going on vacation alone. No bother though. I have never felt alone on a cruise as there are so many things to do, people to meet., great weather.

 

I just booked the Radiance for Jan 2008. Solo

[Lois R]

Sorry, I dont feel like one, but no matter how I try to explain to my family (sisters, brothers, mom, and dad) they dont understand going on vacation alone. No bother though. I have never felt alone on a cruise as there are so many things to do, people to meet., great weather.

 

I just booked the Radiance for Jan 2008. Solo

 

Linda, I guess I am very lucky. My Dad thinks its terrific I am

able to cruise:) ...solo or not. I have told him all about these

boards and he thinks that is great...meeting people on the net;)

Sorry your family isn't supportive.

I am going next month solo and while I am on the ship I will

book something for 2008......that will be my 50th

Birthday Cruise:D

 

And I am glad you know you are not a loser!

[yellowbird23]

I'm envious. Looked at your upcoming cruise and it is just wonderful. Have a great time. Fantastic schedule.

[Faith77]

This has been a great thread--I love reading about everybody's experiences cruising/travelling solo...

 

NJ Dragon Lady, I've also taken solo train trips thru the years and have always met different people to chat with. Cruises and train trips are my favorite ways to travel solo.

 

I cruised solo over the Christmas/New Years holidays in 2006. I was concerned about being overwhelmed with extended families and kids but I had a great time. Here's what worked for me:

 

*Late night traditional dining--I had a great table with a 'home base' each night. I ate about half my breakfasts and lunches in the dining room. Sometimes the tables were lively and other times people didn't click.

 

*At each port I went on a shore excursion--Mostly this worked out well. I really liked the mix of group time and alone time in the ports. Sometimes I just enjoyed going back early to a quiet ship.

 

*I read the daily program each morning, checked off some interesting activities, and tried to do some new things over the cruise.

Somehow I always tell myself, after each cruise, that I'm going to do new/different activities on the next cruise. I felt the same way this time.

 

This year I'm doing a land tour (to Italy) but I will definately be cruising in the future.

 

Faith

[Frazzle]

I too am shy and I find mingling with other people to be uncomfortable for me - usually I just stick to the people I'm with but this time I want to be more friendly and socialize a bit...

 

I don't know if this helps you, but I just ordered a book off Amazon called "The Art of Mingling" and it came highly recommended to me. Maybe check that out for some tips? I haven't received it yet - so can't give you first hand reviews. http://www.amazon.com/Art-Mingling-Proven-Techniques-Mastering/dp/0312354312/sr=8-1/qid=1171738798/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-8119379-6132120?ie=UTF8&s=books

 

You are NOT a loser. You're just facing a new experience - it will take time so be gentle with yourself!! Try and find new interests and do them - you'll meet like minded people!

[cruiseacecat]

Hi everyone,

 

I am so happy to see so many solo cruisers sharing their experiences.

 

My first solo was on Celebrity cruises Century in the fall of 06. I fell in love both with solo cruising and with the Century. I have been back on Century for 2 5-night cruises since that time, and am about to go on a 4-night cruise on 1 March. I am well and truly hooked. I am not an outgoing person, but I find it very easy to meet and get to know people while on a ship.

 

To those of you who have doubts as to whether you will be comfortable, my advice is to try it once. At worst, you won't want to do it again. At best, you may find it's that best thing you have ever done done for yourself.

 

Anne

[Lois R]

Hi Anne:) , thanks for posting that...I am a big Celebrity cruiser.

Next month will be #11 for me.

Would you do me a big favor? When you sail on March 1st, would

you mind saying hello to someone for me? His name is Erol Gray

(yes just like the tea) LOL....

He is the bartender in the Rende-Veux lounge and I have known

him for 4 years.

I was supposed to be sailing Century in April but my plans

changed and I am going on Mercury next month instead.

Could you send Erol my best wishes and tell him I won't be seeing

him:( in April....but maybe in December!

 

Thanks and I am glad you enjoyed the ship so much:)

 

Take care, Lois

[cruiseacecat]

Hi Lois,

 

I will be happy to give your message to Erol. It's so nice to develop relationships with crew members. I think its one of my favorite things about cruising.

 

Enjoy Mercury! Wish I were doing this before her change in itin.

 

Anne

[Lois R]

Hi Anne, thanks so much:D :) I really appreciate it!

[Roz]

I think maybe there's a perception out there that we sail solo because we don't have any friends, or people don't want to be around us. :D

 

I sail solo for a couple of reasons:

 

1. Just because someone is my friend doesn't mean they travel well. I may not be interested in spending 7-10 days on a cruise ship with them, sharing a cabin. However, dinner and a movie or a workday lunch may be fine.

 

2. Not everyone likes to travel, nor does everyone like cruising.

 

3. Schedules don't always match. For instance, I've done most of my solo cruising in November and December. A friend who's interested in cruising with me can't, because she's in retail and that's her busy season.

 

4. Face it...not everyone has the funds available, or available when we're ready to book.

 

5. Sometimes, you just need to get away! That doesn't make us social outcasts or misfits.

 

Roz