Incompatible Table Mates

[misterbuds]

The worst we ever had was actually only a lunch experience. Thank God. It was on our very first cruise and we went to the dining room for lunch. They sat us a table for 4 with this other couple. Well, this other couple was this man and his new bride, who just happened to be from Russia and spoke no english. He was American. (By the way, this was the talk of the cruise amongst our nightly table mates as everyone knew about this guy and his mail order bride on the ship). Anyway, we sat down for lunch, said hello to be friendly, and that was it for the rest of lunch. She didn't even say anything to him. Nothing. No smile, no acknowledgement, etc. They both looked miserable on top of it. My husband and I didn't know what to do. We are very friendly people and it was so uncomfortable. So we basically ate the fastest lunch we ever had, skipping out on desert and basically excused ourselves when done. We only had to deal with this couple at lunch. I felt bad for the people who got stuck with them for dinner!! :eek: The memory has stuck with us to date and we always bring it up on our cruises. We also vowed that very cruise that we would never do a table for 4 because of this.

[mad4mky]

It's been several years since my one and only cruise (our second leaves Barcelona next month)--but it was on the Disney Magic.

 

Disney--in their wisdom--seats 'adults only' cruisers with 'adults only' cruisers. Meaning--my husband and I went on the cruise with none of our children. They sat us at a table for 8--with other couples with no children. We had a wonderful time. There was a honeymoon couple, us on my b-day cruise, a couple who were grandparents and a couple who were about our age (40 or so at the time).

And--they set the adults only tables far enough away from families with little ones...that even thinking back now...not once do I recall seeing a child or hearing a child in any dinner we ate in the main dining rooms. :)

 

Of course we saw children plenty of other times on the ship (I mean, how can you not? it's a Disney cruise after all)....You'd think that all cruise ships would follow this and think that adults who don't bring kids want to sit with those who do bring their kids.

[vickiw0318]

With our kids grown and almost gone (DD is still in and out), DH and I dine alone most nights. Therefore, we do enjoy dining with others when we cruise. I've learned to request big tables because it seems that there's always someone in the group that we really enjoy. We had very congenial tablemates at our only table for four, but had less fun at a table for six when we were seated with four friends that talked mainly to each other. They were not rude by any means, but they lived close to each other, socialized and worked together so natually they addressed their remarks to each other.

 

Now, last January, our table for six turned out to be all Cruise Critics. That was fun. On our Alaska trip in 2008, we'll be sitting with Cruise Critics too. It will be like meeting old friends for the first time.

[vator90]

We travel with our 2 kids on every cruise. Our children are well behaved, dressed in what is appropriate for the evening. No jeans, shorts etc... On our last 2 cruises, the first night in the dining room has began the same. We are sitting there reading our menus, and a couple walks up, looks at us and walks away. It was a different couple each time, so don't call the white coats just yet. We typically ask for large tables also. Its a little rough to explain to your children why somebody dosen't want to sit with them, and thats its not the childs fault. Perhaps, the cruiselines should devise a questionaire you could answer before sailing to help put people together who are likely to be compatable.

[jobob]

On our first cruise, my DH and I were seated at a table for 12. There were 8 people speaking only Chinese and another American couple. For the first 3 nights we talked with the other Americans and smiled at the others. They would smile back and nod. Then, on the 4th night my husband looked to his left and said, "well, how was your day?" "It was wonderful," replied the Chinese man in perfect english. We all laughed. The ice was finally broken and we had a great time. You should see the group picture taken by the ships photographer at the request of the man my husband first spoke to -he gave one to each of us. I have been hooked on cruising ever since.

[mediator]

I agree....we either dine with friends or if it's just us, we ask for a table for two. I know, I know there are MANY people who will disagree and that's fine. Some people enjoy meeting new people but for some of us it's very uncomfortable and we just don't enjoy it. I love chatting with people around the pool or in the lounge areas, but I would not want to dine with them every night.

 

On our last cruise we were across the aisle from a booth that had 4 people in it. They were very obviously not compatable. One couple looked to be very professional-type people and the other couple was a combination of an Elvis "look alike" and his wife that didn't understand that when you have food in your mouth your really need to close it while chewing and talking. Needless to say after the first night Elvis and his wife were eating alone.

 

 

Dianne

I agree with you. We get a table for two. And like you said people might disagree and the point it to meet new people. I feel that we meet new people during the course of the 7 days. Every event we join every interaction, every elevator ride, you meet new people. that does not mean I want to eat with them. I don't go to a restaurant and ask to sit with strangers, I don't want to do it on a cruise. I think the interaction that we have now is just right FOR US.

[rhsmd]

all of this speaks well for anytime dining...if done right!

on NCL they had lots of table ready for groups of 2-4. no need to spend a week with people who are incompatible or forced to eat in buffet.

if RCI does do open seating, past the trial, it needs to be done with lots of small tables, not seating nightly at a large table with more incompatible strangers!

[nellydean]

On our recent LOS cruise, my husband and I, and our 13-year-old son, did a dining room reccy and were horrified to find we had been put on a table for 9. We immediately went to see the maitre d' but he had nothing available and said to come back the next day.

We were first to arrive for dinner and then along came a very old couple of ladies, both 87 who, despite their age and very different lifestyles to us turned out to be very good dining companions. Just the 5 of us then, and on the second night a middle aged couple arrived, but they were only with us for one meal while waiting to be seated with their family, so it was just the 5 of us for 6 evenings.

The ladies turned out to be very interesting characters, one was quiet the other very bullish, but we grew fond of both of them and exchanged email addresses at the end - when my work schedule allows, I will send them some photos and, hopefully, embark on some regular conversations with them.

 

I think the reason it worked so well was because we all made an effort to find some common ground, including our son, who was very sociable, considering he was a good 70-odd years younger than them! :)

[lacruiser]

One of the best tables we ever had was a table of 6. We were 3 couples -- we are early 50's (and flatter ourselves that no one would guess it:D ) and from Louisiana/Florida. The other two couples were mid-60s to mid-70's; one from NYC, the other from Mississippi. Conversation was a bit stilted that first night, but we ended up really hitting it off with the NYC couple. They were fascinating -- now a (very prosperous) manufacturing business owner, he had run away to join the Navy at 16; she had been a social worker in NYC. The Mississippi couple were VERY quiet; I hardly remember him saying a word.

 

Well, the very last night, the Mississippi man didn't come to dinner; don't remember the reason. The conversation drifted to travel (DH is flying almost every week), and absolutely out of the blue, Mrs. Mississippi said, in her most delicate voice, that the last time Mr. Mississippi had flown somewhere she had packed him a little lunch. How nice, we said. She smiled, looked demurely at her lap, and whispered, "I put my panties in the bag with the lunch."

 

Needless to say, there was complete and total silence... and then we all hit the floor laughing together. DH and I will never forget it, and we still email those two couples!

[jodyndavid2004]

we got everyone beat, on our honeymoon we were at a table for 5 and there were 7 people at our table...family of 3, mother and daughter were diabetics and the mother was sickly, and the father drank Budwiser out of the can every night! The older couple sitting with us both had food alergies. Needless to say it took a very very very long time for them to order their food the first night!!!!! Can you say OH MY GOD!! Get some class people if your going into public in a formal dining room for dinner!! I guess we don't have to tell you we didn't eat in the dining room much that cruise!

[pumkinsmom]

We travel about half of our cruises another couple. the other half we always ask for a large table. DH likes to be around people, and can usually figure out who he is not going to get along with. We always let them make the table change, as we can pretty much go with the flow with anyone. Only had one bad experience on explorer about 2 yrs ago with a couple from another country that always showed up at 6:30 to 6:45 and then were always rude to wait staff. DH let him have it (explained about the dinner time)about the 4th night and we never saw them again.

[JTJ]

Big tables can be a pain after a few nights. I have noticed there is this type of person(s) that starts out friendly (and they seem to plentiful on cruises) but after a couple of nights become nosey. The first couple of dinner's are fine then they get their sea legs on focusing on their table mates and think they can probe "because we are all friends now". They just can't keep it light.

 

Example; We are single, GF & I cruise around 5 times a year, she pays her way (sort of) & I pay mine. We have a blast because we like to party together, love salt water & islands and dive everywhere we can. Even sneak fishing poles onto Coco Cay. We've been together for sometime, and are happy with it. We happen to live on the same street but in our own homes. That's enough to start the "when are y'all getting married?" and "how did you meet?"

 

Also, we both work for the space program. So there's always somebody that thinks the space program is worthless and wants to discuss it with us.

 

The solution is to make Diamond, then you will get a two person table, the MOS & SOS will just create one for you from tables in storage. May stick you in a weird location though.

 

BTW: breakfast in the dining room is great because you can talk like you just met.

[bethaniesmom]

we have always been real lucky with table mates, I am amazed that this many people change tables...our first trip we were a party of four, paired agewise perfectly with another family of four, another trip we were paired with people we had met on cruise critic just by luck, so we already had alot in common.....one trip we were two at a table for six, a little lonely!

the only slight problem we had was on a group cruise whenwe sat randomly at tables and ended up with two really obnoxious people from our own group....luckily they only lasted one night, insulted waiters and other guests alike, and never came back...the dining room staff replaced them at our large table with three firemen who were on board teaching the crew CPR....we had a lovely time with them!

please ask to be changed if you are unhappy, this is your vacation too!

 

Beverly

[twinlges]

We always try to get large table. I think it helps my kids to "practice" good table manners and see how others behave--for good or bad! Once we sat with a family who have given us more fodder than the 7 nights we dined with them! My kids were 12 and twin 9 yos, (all girls) Our table was with my mother in her 60s, me in my 40s and this other family we sat with consisted of a dad who was annoyed by his wife, the wife who talked endlessly, a son who was underage and drank and stayed out all night (his mother thought this was "so cute") another son who spent the entire cruise in his room playing video games, and a daughter who called my mom Nancy (her name is Laurie) the whole time! One kid found out he could get anything he wanted at dinner and he tested the this by ordering 40 chocolate milks at dinner (we affectionately still refer to him as "fat boy") the drinking brother, spent each night shaking his curly hair at the dinner table until he had it braided and then clanked the shells in it (we affectionately refer to him as "curl boy") and then there's "michele" as no epithet could EVER describe her! She wore curtains to dinner one night! Even though these people were absolutely the worst dinner mates ever, we made the best of it and have never regretted it for a minute, especially at Thanksgiving when we ask "Nancy" to pass the mashed potatoes! The moral --Stick it out--eventually it makes for a good story!

 

Katie

[Bakincakes]

We always try to get large table. I think it helps my kids to "practice" good table manners and see how others behave--for good or bad! Once we sat with a family who have given us more fodder than the 7 nights we dined with them! My kids were 12 and twin 9 yos, (all girls) Our table was with my mother in her 60s, me in my 40s and this other family we sat with consisted of a dad who was annoyed by his wife, the wife who talked endlessly, a son who was underage and drank and stayed out all night (his mother thought this was "so cute") another son who spent the entire cruise in his room playing video games, and a daughter who called my mom Nancy (her name is Laurie) the whole time! One kid found out he could get anything he wanted at dinner and he tested the this by ordering 40 chocolate milks at dinner (we affectionately still refer to him as "fat boy") the drinking brother, spent each night shaking his curly hair at the dinner table until he had it braided and then clanked the shells in it (we affectionately refer to him as "curl boy") and then there's "michele" as no epithet could EVER describe her! She wore curtains to dinner one night! Even though these people were absolutely the worst dinner mates ever, we made the best of it and have never regretted it for a minute, especially at Thanksgiving when we ask "Nancy" to pass the mashed potatoes! The moral --Stick it out--eventually it makes for a good story!

 

Katie

 

 

:eek: ROTFL...you just can't make this stuff up.

[cruislovin]

We have many tablemate stories from the cruises we have been on. They are some of the most memorable moments of our cruises. We ofter talk about them and laugh about the experiences.

 

But it would be so much better if RCCL attempted to match tablemates - with children, without children, by age, where people are from, with similar interests like Cruise Critic, etc., etc. Does anyone know why there seems to be no attempt at this? This seemed to be done so much better on the Disney cruise we took...

[sparky_1973]

We've seen so much happen in the dinning room that it's entertainment at this point.

 

My wife and I always ask for the largest table we can get. In fact we look forward to meeting new people from places around the world. We spend 24 hours a day on a cruise vacation together and sometimes it's nice to talk to someone else. :)

 

We've made some great friends in the dinning room.

 

A couple of cruises ago we were put at a table for 2. We completely freaked out. We went to change to a larger table and they couldn't believe that we wanted to change.

 

Rich

[sammee]

I think we were very lucky. Our first cruise was on the Explorer Aug 12. We were seated with another couple at a table for 4. I was nervous at first, reading some of the stories here and there. But they were the greatest. Andrew broke the ice and Barbara chimed in. I think RCC purposely planned this. We won this cruise and had been so excited. When they sat down, the small talk began. I can't remember what was said and than we let the cat out of the bag that we had one this cruise. Well it turns out that they did too. It was great, we were at the winner's table.

 

I only hope we can do the cruise again and meet another Barbara & Andrew. You guys, if you happen to come into this forum, just letting you know, we had a great time, maybe we'll meet on another cruise.

[dam1050]

I guess we've been extremely fortunate! In 20 cruises, we've never yet had to ask for a different table due to bad tablemates, or uncomfortable circumstances.

 

That said, (and in case I've just jinxed us by stating that ;) ...) I wouldn't hesitate to ask for a change if there were any 'bad vibes' coming off that the trip might be less than pleasant with current dining arrangement.

 

Dave

[MakinGold]

But it would be so much better if RCCL attempted to match tablemates - with children, without children, by age, where people are from, with similar interests like Cruise Critic, etc., etc. Does anyone know why there seems to be no attempt at this? This seemed to be done so much better on the Disney cruise we took...

 

I'm pretty sure they do. We've been seated with other families w/ similar age children every time I've cruised with my son. I don't think that's just coincidence.

[kellygarrett]

I love anytime dining because you meet so many wonderful people and never get stuck with a problem tablemate more than one night, however on a RCI transatlantic this past April, with traditional dining, my friend and I were placed at a table for 8 and all 8 were women. 6 of the ladies were from Texas, no problem with that but 2 of the women were so drunk they could hadly sit up in the chairs. One was kind of comical but the other was so abrasive and negative that it was all I could do to stay for the entree. We left before dessert and went to the head waiter who changed us to another table for 8, These people were great and we all had a marvelous time. We saw the 2 drunks over and over, always with a drink no matter where they were. The last time we saw them , one of them was on the floor with the other woman trying to help her up. The other 4 women stuck it out at the table with the drunks.

[waseagal]

I would definitely request another table if it is really bad. I have mixed feelings on dining with others because I have been on a few cruises where I absolutely enjoyed my tablemates and were happy to have met them, and I have been on some where it was a horrible experience. I don't really want a table of our own because of the experiences I might be missing (I guess I am an optimist). The worst experience I had was on freestyle dining where there was different people every night. It seemed like the tablemates every night were bad. I won't be choosing that again! Anyway, do what you need to do to have a good time.

[trarecar]

We travel with our 2 kids on every cruise. Our children are well behaved, dressed in what is appropriate for the evening. No jeans, shorts etc... On our last 2 cruises, the first night in the dining room has began the same. We are sitting there reading our menus, and a couple walks up, looks at us and walks away. It was a different couple each time, so don't call the white coats just yet. We typically ask for large tables also. Its a little rough to explain to your children why somebody dosen't want to sit with them, and thats its not the childs fault. Perhaps, the cruiselines should devise a questionaire you could answer before sailing to help put people together who are likely to be compatable.

 

That is so sad!!! Poor guys! :( Do you eventually get tablemates?

[cruislovin]

I'm pretty sure they do. We've been seated with other families w/ similar age children every time I've cruised with my son. I don't think that's just coincidence.

 

Then I would say you should consider yourself VERY fortunate. There has not been one time on any of the RCCL cruises we have taken and been assigned tablemates that we have had anyone compatible with the ages of our children. We have even had situations where we have had to answer questions from our kids such as why RCCL permits underage drinking and gambling when DS was 14 and DD was 11!!!

[2tall]

I think my husband and I ARE the obnoxious tablemates. We both like meeting new people so we make an effort to draw folks out. DH, in particular, talks up a storm. Some people like it; others don't. On our last cruise, we were at a table for 6. One couple was from Canada and the other was from Tennessee, I think. The Canadian wife was very social and we had no problems talking to her. The Canadian husband didn't talk much until the end of the cruise...it probably helped that I shared my bottles of wine with him. However, I think the couple from Tennessee was horrified to have strangers talking to them. The Tennessee wife looked at me like I'd grown a second head every time I spoke to her and answered in one-word sentences (think "yes," "no," "fine"). Actually, she didn't speak to her husband, either. They only showed up for the two formal nights...so I guess we weren't bad enough to chase them from the table.