what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?

[Swissfred]

In June of 1984, my two roomates and I (all 21 year old single men) sailed on NCL's M/S Skyward...the first cruise for all of us. About midnight, trying to cool off after dancing for a couple of hours, we went outside and sat down at a table in the ocean breeze. One of my roomates stayed at the disco. We were the only ones out there until "they" arrived! Two ladies in their seventies sat at the table with us and gave us a stern warning about the ship's staff. "Our room steward is sabotaging us", they said. "I think they want to kill us!". They continued to warn us to be careful. Finally, we asked what the staff was doing. The ladies replied, "they steal our toilet paper everyday!" It took 20 minutes to get rid of them.

 

This was not the scariest moment of that evening!

 

After the ladies left, two crew members walked by and talked to us for a couple of minutes. They saw the Heineken beer we were drinking and asked if we paid full price at the bar. Of course we did. "If you want drinks for $1.00, come downstairs to the crew's bar". Beer for a buck? We were there! We sat down at the full service bar and ordered our drinks. Sitting at the bar, with typical mirrors behind the the bar, we noticed two guys leave their table and prance up to the bar. Mind you, my roomate and I never said a word, but we both saw what was happening. These guys stood behind us with about a sixteenth of an inch of space between us! My roomate and I looked at each other, stood up, casually walked to the staircase, and ran up those stairs like we were professional athletes!

 

Fast-forward to 2005... this roomate and I were both "Best Men" at each other's weddings in 1989, have both been on many cruises (but not together since our original cruise), and are planning a large group cruise in 2006 for our 20 year anniversary...no kids.

[Swissfred]

Yes, dates from my previous message do not match. Our wedding year is 1986, not 1989. My daughter was born in 1989, thus the mistake. Dee Dee, if you read this, please forgive me!

[TechKnowBabble]

Yes, dates from my previous message do not match. Our wedding year is 1986, not 1989. My daughter was born in 1989, thus the mistake. Dee Dee, if you read this, please forgive me!

 

Someone's gonna be sleeping on the couch. LOL

[chubbycheeks]

Picture the scene...

...EOS, 11th floor, my wife and I arrive at the elevators.

Waiting at the first elevator are a Mum,Dad and 3 children, who, not to put too fine a point on it, look like they've spent their entire life living at McDonalds...

...and they always went large and they always had a giant shake.

Not wishing to make my wife feel too uncomfortable, we decided to wait for the second elevator.

As the first elevator arrived, and the doors opened, in waddled the Grizwald family. As soon as they pressed the `down` button, an alarm started ringing, and the doors jammed open, proclaiming to all in the vicinity...`Overload, Overload`

How embarrasing, because now they had no option but to squeeze themselves back out of the elevator, in full view of everyone...

...and, as they sheepishly headed towards the stairs, past a smiling crowd, Mother Grizwald, ever protecting her flock, uttered this line...

 

..."Do you know, these elevators just dont take into account how much a person is carrying in their bags!!!"

 

Yeah I thought...about 350 big macs! :D

 

Oh, how amusing real life can be. Had a smile on my face all day after that.

 

I was reading over the posts and this reminded me of EOS recently. My family was getting on the elevator to go up to the Windjammer and as my dad and step-mom and aunt were getting on the elevator it buzzed because of the weight. So my dad and step-mom got off to catch the next elevator. The rest of us and the 6 others that were already on stayed on and went up...on the next floor a family was waiting and about to get on. We told them that it would overload because we were full but the mother insisted...they stepped on and the elevator buzzed, as expected. As the mother was getting off of the elevator she told her little girl, "Come on honey, let's take another elevator...all the heavy people are on this one...":(

[kenandlaura06]

On A HAL cruise. (I didn't see it, my sister did) A man and a woman got into an arguement and he decked her. Yep right there at the pool. He punched her dead in the face. She fell back and over a lounge chair. Several passengers ran to her aide. When the woman got up my sister said she thought she broke her arm. Not to mention a big black eye. Anyway the next day (a sea day) there was luggage packed up and sitting outside the door of one of the cabins on our deck. We thought HAL maybe had put him in the brig.

 

My sister said it took about ten minutes for security to come. She and several other passengers called several times. They were afraid the man would get away. My sister had to fill out a paper telling what she saw, but she never heard anything after that and we never saw the man or woman again!

 

That is so terrible!

[kenandlaura06]

I have had a similar experience twice! While unloading our suitcases from our van to board a Carnival cruise in New Orleans, we see a family who lives about 2 blocks from us, whose son played soccer with our son for 8 years. We didn't see much of them on the cruise & might never have noticed if we hadn't arrived at the same time for boarding!

Then, last year on the Golden Princess, I ran into someone I had worked with 3 years previously! Small world, huh?

P.S. This also happened to us at Disneyworld!

 

We were bobbing in the ocean in Myrtle Beach (700miles from home) and suddenly someone from our church bobbed right past us!!! I also bumped into someone I went to high school with on South Beach in Miami!

[TechKnowBabble]

We were sitting waiting for bingo to start on Explorer of the Seas when a girl 2 seats away starting talking about schools local to OUR area being closed for snow. Turns out we lived in the same town, AND a girl that was sailing with her had seen my BF on the ship and said, hey I think I graduated with that guy. And she HAD!! Small world. Funny stuff

[kevinsac]

Certainly not a funny story, but one of the most memorable:

 

When I was a kid, we went on numerous World Cruises on the QE2. 90-110 days around the world. On several cruises, we saw folks who had sailed in previous years. One particular old bachelor showed up one year with a wife, significantly younger than he. Today, we'd call her a trophy wife....not sure that term existed back then. Anyway, Trophy came to dinner each night in a truly spectacular outfit...can't imagine how many trunks she had packed for 3 months at sea. She'd walked into the restaurant, do a twirl, walk around greeting friends, then go to her table. Her performance was done; dinner was served.

 

Anyway, one particular year, while sailing across the South Atlantic from Buenos Aires to Africa, Husband died. In age alone, he'd been real close for a long time....and he finally gave up the ship (literally and figuratively!). Trophy had him buried at sea. It was handled very discreetly when the ship came to a complete stop at sunset, and from a low deck, a door was opened, the priest said some words, and kur-plunk.....Husband was gone. Some flowers were tossed...and we set sail again. (No....none of us saw it.....it was done without fanfare....but we were told the story by ship's officers during the following days.)

 

Anyway, Trophy became a bit reserved for a few days, wearing the expected black dress each day and evening. But after the next few calls to port, she went back to making a grand entrance each evening. And within 3 weeks, Trophy had herself a Trophy, too. Not sure how long he had been in the picture, or from whence he came....but Trophy Boyfriend joined Trophy Widow for the rest of the cruise. Yes---he was even younger than she.

 

Trophy Boyfriend had it made.....a Very Rich Widow as his girlfriend and about 6 weeks in a suite on the QE2. Let's hope the good life continued for them thereafter....but they never came back on board a World Cruise.

[Nliedel]

We met some really outrageos guests at our cc party, that we sort of teamed up with. WELL one of them decided that 2 unmarried couples in our group ,should not be living in sin(for the whole 2 weeks) So, we had a mock wedding in our suite. IT was hallarious ,he "read the vows" out of a John Deer tracter book. We had bridal veils of toilet paper, happy new year balloons--and a really nice room steward who cleaned up the rice. When some crazy cruise critics get together--you can have a blast. And I don't drink. I will probably never have this much fun again. SEA YA don loves to cruise My 10th coming up

 

I want to cruise with these people!

[Blazerboy]

Hey, kevinsac, great story!

 

Reminds me of the lady that was on every Italian Line ship when I was young- we called her the "elevator lady," because when we ran in to her in the elevator, she'd always ask us to "take her for a ride!" She was...ahem...a little deep in her cups most of the time. She also always did a great rendition of 'Delilah' and this was long before karaoke!

The other favorite story was the old man (hideous face- I'm sorry, but there it was) travelling with his two young "neices." They did "something to displease" their uncle somewhere before hitting Madeira, and they were gone, and two new "neices" joined him for the rest of the trip back to the States!

[jess43]

My DH and I were on the Mariner of the Seas last week and took an excursion to Orient Beach in St. Marteen. We were warned by the bus driver of the naked people that wanter up and down the beach, but the funniest thing we saw was a guy walking down the beach wearing nothing but a neck tie and a superman cape. It takes all kinds.

 

Ok, this post made me laugh out loud at work!! I've been to Orient Beach and have seen all the naked people and to see one with a superman cape and a neck tie would knock me on the ground! !

[jess43]

I have literally have been reading this forum off and on for 4 hours now.

 

On my first cruise, the Triumph back in 03' on the very last night there were some very drunk people. I guy jumped 2 levels into the neted up pool! And didn't break anything!

 

And on our past Triumph cruise this past March I was drinking and dancing the night away. My husband was gambling and got tired so he went to bed. Well 3 hours later I call it a night and go stumbeling back to my room. Well I tried. I couldn't for the life of me remember my room number!! So there I was very tipsy roaming floor #8 for a half hour until some girls we met knew my room number and told me. It is my funniest cruise story yet!

[kevinsac]

Andrew....here is another story I just posted in another thread...this one is funny.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

On one of the World Cruises, we had met a delightful little ol' British woman from Jersey, Channel Islands. Kaye, prim and proper, always well dressed, super personality, became my on-board Granny for those 3 months. She had taken this World Cruise after some big winnings in the lottery. We had dined with her numerous times during the cruise, and my parents had included her in several of the cocktails parties we hosted.

 

On the last night, my family was invited to dine with the Captain at his table. Kaye was also invited. It was a sad good-bye for some of the people who had become friends during the cruise.

 

The Captain ordered a round of after-dinner drinks....and he even said that on the last night, as busy as he was trying to finish things up....he enjoyed spending a drawn-out evening with some of the passengers; there was no rush to end the evening. He asked if we all wanted another round!

 

At that point, Kaye piped up and said "Well, if there is no rush, then for a change of pace, I'd like to celebrate the last night by having a fag!":eek:

 

HUH? :confused: I was 15 years old, and as well behaved as I was at that age, I absolutely burst out laughing. With the other old farts at the table, I'm not sure they knew what I was laughing at....or, if they did, they did not let on. The Captain, though, knew what was up with me. He explained that in old British terms, a "fag" was a cigarette.

[Blazerboy]

O.K., Kev, that deserves a similar tale, although only cruise-related because we were boarding the QE2 for a crossing immediately after this happened, two years ago:

 

My partner and I were staying in Salisbury for a night after a week of hiking in Scotland, and before getting on the ship in Southampton. Ed had never been to that part of England before, so I wanted to show him Salisbury Cathedral, the copy of the Magna Carta there, and nearby Stonehenge. We picked a charming inn across the waterfields from the Cathedral with a charming restaurant, babbling brook outside, thatched roof, timbers from 963 A.D. or some such date, etc, etc.

 

No one batted an eye about "two gentlemen sharing," and they were happy to accomodate us for dinnner at our requested time of 7:30. p.m. But because it was a Monday night after a Bank Holiday Weekend, we were the only ones in the dining room after about 7:45. So the whole waitstaff had to stay and wait for us to finnish. Our waitress was sweet, and showed a remarkable interest in both of us and our story. She would chat, then go in the kitchen, where we could hear her relay our information almost verbatim to the bored staff in the kitchen. We did pause to wonder what this small town girl was thinking, but enjoyed ourselves immmensely with the several courses of food.

 

We lingered over our wine and dessert, and looked out throught the keyhole windows across the fields to the Cathedral. She asked if there was anything else, and by this time, we could see the hoped-for answer was "No." She backed away from the table and went through the swinging door to the kitchen, and shouted as a final pronouncement: "They're Queer." Because the door swung back, we heard it in full vocal force! Ed and I were chortling away that it took her the whole meal to figure out something we thought rather obvious, until we figured out what she REALLY said: "They're clear" as in "they're done with their meal, and all you blokes can go home now." This caused a second fit of laughter that went on for about five minutes, and we got some very strange looks from the waitress, the busboys, and even the chef who peeked out of the kitchen. :D

 

Sometimes we get too focused on how we filter the world!:rolleyes:

[kenandlaura06]

These stories are crazy!

[texancruzer]

I posted my story wayyyyy back but I can't stop coming back to this thread.

 

And......these stories are crazy because life is crazy and funny and sad and lots of other stuff. Keep comin :D

[aussiedisneyfan]

I have just read the whole thread today, and my coworkers wondered what an earth I was doing with all the chuckling going on 'til I started emailing bits.

 

Reading the story about the "husband and wife game" about the where did you... made me think about the one we had on our last cruise. They had 3 couples one on their honeymoon (second marriage so they had teenage kids) fairly regular couple in their 40s and the longest married couple (I think over 50 years).

 

Of course they asked the question so when was the last time....? Newlyweds was 2 weeks ago!, couple 2 yesterday or this week. But what brought the house down was the straightlaced grandparents who proudly announced this morning!

[kenandlaura06]

I have just read the whole thread today, and my coworkers wondered what an earth I was doing with all the chuckling going on 'til I started emailing bits.

 

Reading the story about the "husband and wife game" about the where did you... made me think about the one we had on our last cruise. They had 3 couples one on their honeymoon (second marriage so they had teenage kids) fairly regular couple in their 40s and the longest married couple (I think over 50 years).

 

Of course they asked the question so when was the last time....? Newlyweds was 2 weeks ago!, couple 2 yesterday or this week. But what brought the house down was the straightlaced grandparents who proudly announced this morning!

 

 

Good for them!

[famoussd]

There was this time I was hanging out in the jacuzzi and there was this couple next to me... the woman took a seat on the guy's lap.. They started playing around w/ eachother (she was bouncing around).... I thought it was all harmless until I saw the guy's swimming trunks float up.. ewww!!!

 

I got the hell out of the jacuzzi with the quickness!!

[TechKnowBabble]

There was this time I was hanging out in the jacuzzi and there was this couple next to me... the woman took a seat on the guy's lap.. They started playing around w/ eachother (she was bouncing around).... I thought it was all harmless until I saw the guy's swimming trunks float up.. ewww!!!

 

I got the hell out of the jacuzzi with the quickness!!

 

Gross. I am all for everyone having a little fun, but please not in a public jacuzzi where others will be relaxing. YUCK!!!!

[kenandlaura06]

Double yuck!

[direfun2000]

Don't know what to make of it. In 1993 I took my first cruise aboard Carnival Holiday with two friends. It was a graduation gift from our parents.

 

 

The last night on board we were walking around when we heard a group of people by the aft pool. They were college age and were laughing like hyenas. When I asked what was so funny they replied, "just watch" They the preceded to grab lounge chair after lounge chair and fling them off the back of the ship.:eek:

 

 

Being young & foolish we didn't report them but instead high tailed it back inside!

[kenandlaura06]

Don't know what to make of it. In 1993 I took my first cruise aboard Carnival Holiday with two friends. It was a graduation gift from our parents.

 

 

The last night on board we were walking around when we heard a group of people by the aft pool. They were college age and were laughing like hyenas. When I asked what was so funny they replied, "just watch" They the preceded to grab lounge chair after lounge chair and fling them off the back of the ship.:eek:

 

 

Being young & foolish we didn't report them but instead high tailed it back inside!

 

I will never understand how people can think destruction is funny!

[kevinsac]

The last night on board we were walking around when we heard a group of people by the aft pool. They were college age and were laughing like hyenas. When I asked what was so funny they replied, "just watch" They the preceded to grab lounge chair after lounge chair and fling them off the back of the ship.:eek:

 

 

That's really sad. When I was younger, I was a partyin' fool, did some wild and crazy things (my gosh....I'm still alive after that???), but I never damaged or destroyed things. What's the purpose? Where is the satisfaction?

[NurseKim]

All of these are just too funny.

 

My story does not compare to a lot of these but here goes

 

My DH and I were on the Holiday and were at dinner. The table beside us had a family of 7 people. We had noticed them around parts of the ship being pretty loud and not very "refined" but hey it was their vacation too. Anyway one night at dinner the teenaged boy in the family had a can of Coke and a cup of ice. When he poured the Coke into the glass some spilled on the table and he proceeded to slurp the drink off of the table. Later I looked over and a few of them were using the table cloth as napkins. Before desert was served I looked over again and EVERYONE of them had their spoons on their noses. Needless to say - People watching became my very favorite dinner past time.