Why do we eat with strangers on cruises but nowhere else?

[Eliger]

We certainly perfer sharing a large table over a table for two. As many have said, we have met so many nice people on cruiseship that we wouldn't have met if it wasn't for the dining room tables. I can understand young couples who find it better to eat by themselves than among a table of older people. However, we have had young couples at our table who have had a lovely time with us "older" cruisers. And we have also enjoyed having these young couples with us.

 

It is great that there are choices in the dining room. :)

[Powriv]

My GF and I usually get a large table as she is the social one, whereas I am not and would feel more comfortable being in a table for 2 but I make this compromise for her so she can talk to people other than me.

 

I am shy in the beginning, easily bored and find I have trouble hearing people unless they are shouting across the table. Other than the usual where are ya from? what do you do for a living? What did you do today? I am relatively quiet preferring to listen rather than talk

 

I cruise to see different cultures and countries and foods. I sit at large tables for my GF

[RetireeWannabee]

I'm one of those people that strangers just seem to talk to randomly, I guess I'm approachable or something, so I kind of enjoy eating with other people.

Me, too. Often complete strangers will tell me extremely personal info. I guess they just need someone to listen.

[shipty2]

We do not like to sit with other people. We like to dine with those with whom we are traveling. I meet people everyday and speak with them far more than I see DH. I go on vacation so that I can him and DS.

[Rala]

I think the term "strangers" is relative. After the first night and more often after the first hour or so, I find the people at our table are no longer strangers, but new friends and for me, at least, there are no uncomfortable feelings or awkwardness. You do have to make some kind of an effort initially(mostly just presenting an open and friendly attitude), but then everything is smooth sailing(pun intended!). We have always had good experiences with sharing a table. Maybe we have just been lucky!!!

 

However, I certainly understand those who prefer their own table. Happy Cruising to all!!!

[slo]

I've sat at tables with others at land resturaunts a few times and have really enjoyed it there as well. With my DH we only do it on cruises. He is completely deaf in one ear so I am always on his hearing side - except when we sit with groups - then I sit on his deaf side since I know he can't hear me and his neighbor wouldn't be able to talk to him otherwise. It works out but is a little awkward.

 

We enjoy having the same waitstaff and seeing the same people each night. On a Princess cruise we did the anytime dining and enjoyed that as well but we're happy to be back to assigned seating.

[momof5]

We all have different ideas about this...but I must say my DH and I have had wonderful experiences everytime sitting with others. We have gotten some great friendships from this. Plus when we cruised with our kids it was fun for them to hang with their dinner mates all cruise long. On one cruise we sat with a couple from Florida our ages and a much older couple from the UK. On the fist night the older man corrected me several times on my plate, glass...etc...what a geezer...or so I thought. He was actually wonderful just different. We stayed in touch for years via internet. Plus an added bonus was his daughter was the Chief Purser so we often had knowledge of happens on the ship before others...for instance unfortunately a staff member committed suicide by jumping from top deck of cruise into the ocean and we had to circle back and wait for Coast Guard and missed a destination. We knew this before the other passengers. On our next cruises he made sure we got VIP treatment...free wine, pass to lounge and robes, etc even though it was only our third cruise. A very generous man. :)

[negc]

When my bf and I cruise, it's our alone time, so we request a table for two. We just like it better; we're on vacation and we want to spend our time together, just the two of us. I know that we are in the minority, as most people enjoy cruising because you get to eat at large tables with new people. That seems to be one of the biggest reasons people like cruising over land-based vacations.

 

Why is that? Why is cruising so different from traditional restaurants or land-based resorts? I don't know the history of it, so I'm very curious about this. Do folks eat at large group tables when at home? What's the appeal?

 

Please don't flame me for not wanting to meet people, etc., because that's not the case with us. I'm just genuinely curious as to why it's so unique to cruising.

 

There are occasions where people do eat with strangers at land-based restaurants. Family style restaurants in Pennsylvania Dutch country, the famed Durgin Park restaurant in Boston's Quincy Market immediately come to mind. Frequently when we are invited to a wedding, we find that we are seated with "strangers" at the reception and dinner. :)

 

On cruise ships, placing "strangers" at the same table in the dining room is pretty much a tradition and allows passengers to meet their fellow passengers in a social setting where they can share experiences and develop a sense of camaraderie that frequently carries over beyond the dining room. Those who wish to dine by themselves or with their friends or families can always request seating arrangements that will allow them to do so, but those of us who welcome the opportunity to meet and know some of our fellow passengers enjoy the arrangement. Dining on a cruise involves more social interaction than simply sitting at the table and eating your meal as you might do at a land-based restaurant. To use a cliché, we are all in the same boat, and dining with strangers helps break down that feeling of singleness, and develops a sense of togetherness onboard.:)

[negc]

We get a table for 2. We dont want to be stuck on a table with a loud abnoxious person, so play it safe.

Unless you or your partner is that "loud abnoxious (sic)person". Then, what do you do?:D I suppose you can be pleased that you have spared those others who might have been seated with you.;)

[hazeleyez3]

My GF and I usually get a large table as she is the social one, whereas I am not and would feel more comfortable being in a table for 2 but I make this compromise for her so she can talk to people other than me.

 

I am shy in the beginning, easily bored and find I have trouble hearing people unless they are shouting across the table. Other than the usual where are ya from? what do you do for a living? What did you do today? I am relatively quiet preferring to listen rather than talk

 

I cruise to see different cultures and countries and foods. I sit at large tables for my GF

 

 

You sound exactly like me. My husband likes eating at large tables, me not so much. I am a rather private person. While I may talk about a few things I don't have a need to go into a lot of details.

 

I agree, there are B&Bs that are like that, and I am the same way...little bit of information here and there but that's it.

 

We both like experiencing the cultures. He just prefers the large tables.

 

 

Ironically, when we are home I am a bit more social than he is. It is not so much that I want to be as it is I know I need to be in certain situations. Eating with people I'll never see after the cruise just isn't one of those situations (in my eyes)

[Debde]

There can be a whole other side of this to look at.

For the record-

I personally like sitting with new people. I love some of the conversations and have met some really wonderful people. Not friends for life or those I keep in touch with afterwards but really nice folks.

The other side:

Have you ever met someone who has told you waaay too much information.? A few years back-I'll never forget the news stating that while on vacation, prior to leaving, someone gave out way to much information on a 'travel message board' and the house was robbed-picked clean. :eek:

On that note-while on vacation doing the dining with strangers-we met a couple and many others thought the same as me. He gave out way too much personal information. Trust me-that could very well come back to haunt you.

Believe you me, I don't think everyone is not trust worthy but in todays day and age-you really have to be careful with what and how much you say meeting strangers. Don't ya think:confused:

[BehrHunter]

Me, too. Often complete strangers will tell me extremely personal info. I guess they just need someone to listen.

 

That reminds me of a flight I was on once. Some woman sat in the row behind me next to two elderly ladies. From the minute she sat down she would not shut up. Before the doors of the aircraft closed, everyone in her row, my row, the row behind her knew her life story and the fact that she was devastated that her boyfriend had chosen to move to San Francisco and she was thinking of following him out there.

 

The guy next to me elbowed me and asked are we going to have to listen to this for the next 5 hours? He then stood up, turned around and said to her quite loudly: "Honey are you aware the entire aircraft now knows your life story?" It shut her up and she never said another word for the entire flight.

 

Reading between the lines it was quite obvious why her boyfriend was moving to SF though.

[COMBOY]

I love to travel and especially cruising. I have found that it's not how you get someplace or where you go it's the "people" along the way that have made my trips so special. If you don't prefer to meet new people then that is perfectly OK. Some of the nicest people I'm met have been sitting with them over meals. We even had such a nice time with one couple we planned two other cruises with them. If you're a single person then what a better way then to be seated with other people for dinner and nice conversation vs sitting alone all by yourself. You're not being asked to spend the rest of your life with these people nor even seeing them any where else but in the dining room if you so choice. I think the highest degree of satisfaction with most people in cruising is the opportunity to meeting new people which sort is forced upon you in the dining room. Humans by nature are social creatures and most of us (not all) love to interact with other humans.

 

I think this tradition of dining with other strangers was carried over from the transatlantic immigration cruises where third class passengers dined at communal tables due to the limited space. Remember, back then dining was always the highlight of the trip as there wasn't too much else to do compare to today's modern ships by ice rinks, rock climbing walls, etc. I think today unfortunately that cruise lines know that some people for one reason or another just what to dine by themselves and that is why they had to offer alternative dining options so they don't lose these folks to other land based vacations.

[BaiAilian2013]

My fiance and I are impatient with and inept at small talk, but if I'm with a group of friends I don't mind sitting with strangers. If you don't make friends at the table, you make humor later! Win-win. Also, I have sat with strangers in crowded cafes or food courts.

[kandemom]

This is the 1st cruise where we requested a table for 2. We have 3 kids and my Dh works very long hours. We want to spend time with each other, focus on each other. That and im incredibly shy.:o

[Firefighterhoop]

I agree with the OP. You are really rolling the dice who you have the pleasure of dining with. Sometimes the people have common interests, and sometimes they are polar opposites!

[JTJ]

I havn't had a communal table, in years (except for when the Family is cruising). It is not about sitting with others, the stranger the better, you can always move. And we like to tell our history.

 

But we don't know exactly when we will show up. MTD is perfect, we get a table for two and don't eat desserts so leave about halfway through. Waiters always give us the business for leaving early.

[martinchem]

We've done 2,4,6,8, and 10 tables. I've found 10 up usually are the ones you can eat fast and not get caught up in deep conversation, sixes are great unless four people came together, fours are awesome but we did have one table we wish we decided to finish at the buffet. Four & six ups offer the best memories of new people. Since we really cruise with each other and want to spend our time together I prefer two ups for my wife and I so we have our time to ourselves. I don't mind other folks but I can't remember a land based restaurant we ever shared a table with either.

[waterbug123]

Why is cruising so different from traditional restaurants or land-based resorts? I don't know the history of it, so I'm very curious about this. Do folks eat at large group tables when at home? What's the appeal?

 

.

 

Logistically, 100 tables that seat 6, or 8 or 10 people each, take up a lot less space than 400 tables that seat 2 people each. Given the huge number of people that a ship has to feed at the same time, and the somewhat limited space they have in which to do it, they have to fill the dining room with more larger tables than small ones.

[ehfl]

I don't think it's unique to cruising...it happens at weddings, conferences, and lots of other events.

 

It's easier to staff a restaurant when you know how many tables there will be....and if you always have a set number of tables, then you don't have to bring on more crew at the start of every cruise, or let some crew off.

 

I never understood why it's such a big deal for some people. If you want a table for 2, then just request it. If you're not able to get one, then just eat at another venue.

[Gracie115]

If you've ever stayed at a B&B, generally you are eating with strangers also. It's very rare to find one with individual tables. As for the cruising, our experiences eating with strangers have been quite pleasant - so far; so good.

 

I've only stayed at two B & B's but both served breakfast to individual tables. My DH and I were alone each time, which is what we wanted, but the other tables were also alone, no "groups"....perhaps it will be different if we stay at other B & B's in the future.....

[Gracie115]

We love the new MTD on Royal but before we always requested large tables that way there was always someone talking and there weren't those long uncomfortable pauses. We had a table for 4 the first time we cruised and the other couple was nice but we had nothing to talk about after the 1st night and it made the dinner time too much like work. But with MTD it's wonderful!!!

[BroncosFan2010]

I also enjoy a table for 2 when I am cruising. I love the alone time with DH. If we are paired with others, so be it, we won't complain, but we will sneak off to the speciality restaurants with a table for two.

 

I am usually a social person, and I enjoy the roll-call boards and meet and mingle meetings. My job (psychologist) requires me to be social, friendly, and around people all the time. It is nice to sometimes have a quiet dinner with my spouse.

[bluegirlum]

This is all very interesting. Thanks for everyone's responses. My bf and I don't live together, so we don't see each other every day, and vacation is a nice time for us to be alone. We both have jobs that require a lot of interaction with other people--and, ironically, lunches and dinners that involve group settings--so we are both pretty adept at small talk and meeting people. I think it's nice that so many people have made great friends on cruises and other vacations. We certainly would not make a "big deal" if we were seated with others--we just enjoy being together.

[Eliger]

This is all very interesting. Thanks for everyone's responses. My bf and I don't live together, so we don't see each other every day, and vacation is a nice time for us to be alone. We both have jobs that require a lot of interaction with other people--and, ironically, lunches and dinners that involve group settings--so we are both pretty adept at small talk and meeting people. I think it's nice that so many people have made great friends on cruises and other vacations. We certainly would not make a "big deal" if we were seated with others--we just enjoy being together.

Knowing the main reason for a table for two, I understand why it would be your preference. Have a great cruise! ;):D

 

Gerry