Why do we eat with strangers on cruises but nowhere else?

[temple1]

On our 3 cruises we were seated at tables for 6. On 2 of them there were 4 of us and 1 we had a full table. We met a really nice couple from FL on our first cruise - they take a lot of the 3 and 4 nighters out of Port Canaveral. Our 2nd cruise my sister and I brought her granddaughter and they sat us with 2 women about our age with a teen about my niece's age. It worked very well for the girls. On the last cruise we before MTD we shared a table for 6 with the 2 very nice ladies, one a ministers wife and her sister. Needless to say, it was kind of difficult.

 

After that we had MTD for 2. Made DS very happy. We are signed up for MTD on our Dec cruise.

 

DH took his first cruise this past Dec. We signed up for traditional and he loved it. We had a full table of 6 and it was a fun group. I think DH also enjoyed being the only male at the table. We will do traditional on our cruise next month.

 

We have stayed at a number of B&B's with shared tables. One in particular - The Secret in Alabama has a huge table that seats 14 with a double decker lazy susan in the middle. Quite an interesting place.

[MoYerclan]

I agree with the OP. You are really rolling the dice who you have the pleasure of dining with. Sometimes the people have common interests, and sometimes they are polar opposites!

 

I like to learn about others interests, even if I'm not personally interested in the same topic. I still learn something new that way. Sometimes talking to folks who are "polar opposite" to me is *far* more interesting!

[cruiselvr04]

We don't cruise just to meet others but we do enjoy having dinner with lively conversation. We love each other very much and spend all our free time together - however we also like being around others to add to the conversation. If you really want a table for 2 -go for it. But if you take the time to look around the dining room the big tables are often having lots of fun - even if we are all strangers. Our last cruise was awesome with our dinner mates, we however have had some strange tables too where conversation did not flow as well. That said our most disappointing dinner arrangements was the one time we were seated alone and although we asked the first night for a larger table, was not changed (not on RCCL).

 

I can tell you stories... but if I hadn't sat with those people I would not have had the stories!!!

 

Unless you are rude, crude or obnoxious you can sit with us anytime.

[Kaboochi]

Because they are much more interesting to talk to than most of our family members. Cruisers for the most part like the adventure and want to meet new people. But if you get a farty one at your table for the week - yuck!!!!

[g_rock]

You know what it reminds me of? The first week of junior high school in the lunch room trying to find your "spot."

 

We usually end up cruising with a group of folks, so the MDR is a bunch of us. But breakfast and lunch in the MDR, we try to get just a double.

[Cruise Junky]

We prefer to eat alone too. Have always hated the forced communal dining cruise ships try to make you do.

[TEXASMUNK]

We met two couples, the gentlemen were part of the team that helped sav Apollo 13.

We a couple, he is one of the world's best investment consultants.

We met a gentleman that has written books on the great transatlantic ships and the Titanic.

We met a gentlemen who served in the Royal navy in WWII and helped the "Great Imposter" perform an appendectomy via ship to ship communications.

 

Plus many more......That is why we have always asked for a large table.

It is a big world, we want to meet those that live in it!

[NordicPrince]

Why is that? Why is cruising so different from traditional restaurants or land-based resorts? I don't know the history of it, so I'm very curious about this. Do folks eat at large group tables when at home? What's the appeal?

 

I'm just genuinely curious as to why it's so unique to cruising.

 

Here's some of my guesses:

 

1. Cruising has its roots in ocean liner travel. Ocean liner travel was much more class stratified. The better cabins went to "the better people" so

you were part of "the club". Naturally you want to have dinner with everyone else in "the club". It was not an experience for the every day Jane or Joe.

 

2. You didn't get off a ship to go to everyday destinations. You stayed on the ship for many many days until you got to your destination. The pace of travel was designed to make you feel part of an extended voyage with other people, not emphasizing the individual experience but rather the group experience. It was all a great travel adventure not a vacation.

 

3. The early days of cruising was done on very intimate ships. RCL

and NCL started with ships of 17,000 tons holding 800 to 900 people.

Sooner or later you ran into everybody anyway and the dining experience helped with 400-450 max per seating in an intimate dining setting. No room for 200 tables for 2!

 

4. The ship's crew never ate alone. They all commonly shared a galley. That was sea-faring tradition. This is what passengers were expected to do as well I suppose.

 

5. Do folks eat at large tables when at home? My most enjoyable and memorable dinners were Sunday dinners with all the relatives, family dinners for religious holidays, family Thanksgiving dinners. In fact we always tried to invite extra people "who had no one else to share their holiday dinner with". I hope this provides enough insight to answer this question without the need to elaborate. Family used to be what the framework of society was built on. Today so many families are fractured .

 

I am not an expert. These are my viewpoints and others will offer theirs.

 

I do hope you choose to join in this tradition of sea travel at least for one trip.

[MoYerclan]

We don't cruise just to meet others but we do enjoy having dinner with lively conversation. We love each other very much and spend all our free time together - however we also like being around others to add to the conversation.

 

And I think sometimes it is fun to see your spouse interact with others. Perhaps there are elements of a person one forgets about or takes for granted until seeing it again from a fresh perspective. Seeing my husband interact with new folks reminds me of what *I* found so charming or humorous about him when we first met.

 

I'm also reminded of an episode of the show "Sex in the City" where the girls know seemingly normal people on a "one to one" basis but saw them in a totally new light when they became boorish or unreasonable in situations such as dealing with waiters or other people. IMO, everyone should test drive potential future partners in how well they handle new people or situations. How many people marry bumps on a log and it holds them back down the road? (Then again, people need to know what kind of tipper their potential future mate is also! LOL It would save so much grief down the road...!)

 

We love MTD because we met new people each night. I can tolerate anyone for at least one meal ... and if we particularly like them we can always arrange to meet again!

[NCMtnBoys]

Different strokes for different folks, eh?

 

We prefer a table for two. Request one on every cruise. Faster service that way, too.

[NCMtnBoys]

Cruisers for the most part like the adventure and want to meet new people. But if you get a farty one at your table for the week - yuck!!!!

 

Yea, I'm glad that we can actually request a table for two, cuz if we weren't able to it probably would not be as enjoyable for us. :-)

[Toddcan]

Logistically, 100 tables that seat 6, or 8 or 10 people each, take up a lot less space than 400 tables that seat 2 people each. Given the huge number of people that a ship has to feed at the same time, and the somewhat limited space they have in which to do it, they have to fill the dining room with more larger tables than small ones.

 

Bingo!

 

They dont seat many people to one table in order to facilitate the meeting of new people. They do it becasue they have to.

 

Some people like it and some don't. I wonder if a land based restaurant in a tourist area that sat strangers together would survive? ;) Didn't think so.

 

I don't MIND sitting with other people, but I prefer to sit as a family/couple.

[Paul65]

Many people enjoy this facet of cruising, but I don't think it is really "one of the biggest reasons people like cruising over land-based vacations." It's just one of the perks (to some) of cruising.

 

Also, it is far from unique to cruising. There are many social occasions in which one might be seated at a table with others they don't already know. And that is one thing that many people enjoy about going to such social events.

[MoYerclan]

Bingo!

 

Some people like it and some don't. I wonder if a land based restaurant in a tourist area that sat strangers together would survive? ;) Didn't think so.

 

You need to see "Durgin-Park"

http://www.frommers.com/destinations/boston/D39721.html

[Paul65]

I wonder if a land based restaurant in a tourist area that sat strangers together would survive? ;) Didn't think so.

 

As has already been pointed out, this is common at Hibachi-style restaurants. Some people like it; some people don't, but such restaurants thrive (even in tourist areas).

[negc]

Bingo!

 

They dont seat many people to one table in order to facilitate the meeting of new people. They do it becasue they have to.

 

Some people like it and some don't. I wonder if a land based restaurant in a tourist area that sat strangers together would survive? ;) Didn't think so.

Some not only survive but actually thrive. See my references to family style restaurants in Pennsylvania Dutch country, and historic restaurants such as Durgin Park in Boston, where not only are you seated with strangers but you are served by wait staff renowned for being outspoken and sometimes downright surly. It is a "schtick" but one that has been successful for decades.:)

[MoYerclan]

Some not only survive but actually thrive. See my references to family style restaurants in Pennsylvania Dutch country, and historic restaurants such as Durgin Park in Boston, where not only are you seated with strangers but you are served by wait staff renowned for being outspoken and sometimes downright surly. It is a "schtick" but one that has been successful for decades.:)

 

Century Plus! Durgin-Park has been open since something like 1830.

 

I raised my kids to be able to adapt to new social situations and people. They picked up most of it via observation. It is a skill, to be sure. But a worthwhile one to develop. If we'd just kept to ourselves , would they have developed the skills to make conversation and meet new people as easily as they did? I kind of doubt it. <shrug>

[bluegirlum]

On our first cruise together, we were at a 6 top, and one couple never showed up, and the other couple showed up late each night and then didn't speak to us. So we have done it. And I can talk to anyone--my bf makes fun of me for always making new friends wherever we go. I always know our neighbors on cruises, and people on the tenders and even in the airport. I like to know about people and get to know them--it's the midwesterner in me. My bf is shy, but he is very open to meeting new people. We're not averse to meeting new people, nor are we socially inept, and I don't think it's fair to assume that people who want to dine a deux are any of these. It's nice that there are these options for everyone.

[cruiserbryce]

its not that we want to or not its just the way things are on a cruise. I get that they cant provide tables for everyone's party specifically so we just roll with it. We have gotten a table for 2 before and been exited but like meeting new people...so I guess you could say I could care less.

[aqhacruiser]

We enjoy dining with CC friends or by ourselves. As for playing Russian Roulette tablemates in the dining room we skip that completely. I never understood the desire to sit with strangers while dining on a cruise either but some people do enjoy it. I feel we meet plenty of great new people on the ship but I do not want to be stuck with people we do not know at dinner as I've seen it all from the ones that show up late everynight to people ordering several starters or dinners and holding up the entire table for a 2 1/2 hour meal. We have better things to do on a cruise instead of waiting for tablemates to show up or finish a meal:)

[Parkay]

I'm with you. I won't sit at a table of strangers. But I will sit with a group of people I've met on cruise critic, since I get to know them before the cruise. That way, I know who I'm sitting with. Otherwise, we just get a table for two.

[SEASONEDCRUZER]

We like to get a table for four (or however many there are of us in our party)! We have very social jobs that require talking to people all day (I am in the travel industry-don't even get me started on how much "insider info" I have been asked to give-most people know what I know anyway LOL!;)) and then we don't have to wait for our tablemates or have them wait for us!

 

We have had family only tables twice (loved it-no forced awkward conversations) and been seated at 6 ups twice-most recently we went to check out our table upon embarkation and found that even though it was a top for 6 we kept it as it was a corner window and quite private. Our table mates were a nice couple, but I don't think they liked the seating arrangement as they came to the table and immediately asked to move to a table for 2 before they even met us! We were a little taken aback, but off they went only to come back about twenty minutes later with the Head Waiter after I guess there were no other tables they liked better?!! :eek:

 

Anyway, it worked out OK, I just got the feeling they did not want to sit at that table the entire cruise as they ate as quickly as possible then did not stay for even a cup of coffee/tea post meal!

[tr59]

Last year I went on my first cruise on Liberty of the Seas with my DH for our 30th anniversary. We asked for a table for 2 when we booked our cruise. On our first night we went to dinner to find out that we were sitting with 2 other couples. It was a bit awkward that night with just some small talk. The next day we went to request to have our own table but there was a long list of requests, I didn't think we would get our own table.

 

We are from Canada, one couple was from the US around our age and the other couple was from Italy a bit younger than us and on their honeymoon.

 

The next night we went to dinner and we were all burnt from our first day at sea. We each started talking about our day and about our families and so on. It was great and we were glad to being sharing the table with these 2 couples, that we didn't bother with our request for our own table.

 

We ended up meeting some great people, that it made our cruise experience great.

[MAZANDSTEVE]

Unless you or your partner is that "loud abnoxious (sic)person". Then, what do you do?:D I suppose you can be pleased that you have spared those others who might have been seated with you.;)

 

Well we are fairly quiet and reserved and probably boring to loud obnoxious people, the loud ones should be on a separate floor all together then they can all shout to each other and leave us have a peaceful meal.;)

[luckyprincess]

Consider that in ages past (before pre-mind numbing television running during meals) conversation and dining (rather than just "eating") was entertaining and enlightening.

One might not enjoy it as much if they aren't comfortable with making conversation or with the social niceties? It is a skill, for sure but one worth developing. To me, sitting at a table for two is taking the easy way out. I've got the entire cruise to talk to my partner. What's a couple of hours out of my cruise to (hopefully) feed my mind with potential new friends?

I find it fascinating and can pretty much talk to anyone about anything. I learn soooooooo much meeting new people, and this in turn enriches my life and makes it easier for me to be outgoing with future strangers.

On the flip side of that coin, I talk to people and meet new people every day at work - all day. I make small talk, learn new things about them, yada yada...:D My bf works 15 hour days as a chef - meals together for us are precious and romantic. I don't want to give up that time and I don't want to have to make small talk or even keep a conversation going that I might not wish to. I can do that all day at work - so vacay is my alone time with my sweetie. Granted, you can get great tablemates and I've been lucky once and not so lucky another time. I'd rather keep the odds in my favor and gaze at my sweetie and only my sweetie....:)