Am I being paranoid and over-protective?

[escentialssoycandles]

My kids will be 8, 11 and 15 on our next cruise. I booked an inside for fear of the balcony with the little one who is a dare devil and climbs all over stuff.

I read lots of posts where the tweens/teens roam the boat alone, stay at the pool or hang out with a couple of new friends.

I just can't see myself allowing my children roam about unattended by a parent on a cruise ship, especially as large as EPIC while DH and I are off doing our own thing.

My 8 year old will most likely be in the kids club area or with us, so I am not as much worried about her as I am my 15 year old who at 13 already looks 18.

Overprotective and Paranoid.....that's me!

[Planer's Edge]

Too bad all parents do not show your concern.

 

PE

[patseacruiser]

Really I commend you because often times the parents get onboard and think they are the only ones on vacation and leave their tweens and teens to roam the ship and behave in a way that I'm sure they don't behave at home.

[newmexicoNita]

My kids will be 8, 11 and 15 on our next cruise. I booked an inside for fear of the balcony with the little one who is a dare devil and climbs all over stuff.

I read lots of posts where the tweens/teens roam the boat alone, stay at the pool or hang out with a couple of new friends.

I just can't see myself allowing my children roam about unattended by a parent on a cruise ship, especially as large as EPIC while DH and I are off doing our own thing.

My 8 year old will most likely be in the kids club area or with us, so I am not as much worried about her as I am my 15 year old who at 13 already looks 18.

Overprotective and Paranoid.....that's me!

 

yep, you are but at least you will know what your kids are doing and where they are. I think you can relax a little. I would allow them some freedom, let the older one try the teen program, insist he/she let you know what they are doing all the time. You might find out they like hanging out with you. Our grandkids always did.

 

Nita

[Crusin6]

Glad I am not alone in being a good parent...and please never call yourself overprotective and paranoid...you are just doing your job correctly!!!

[russianmom]

Not at all! You are a good parent who wants to keep your children safe:)

[Got2Cruise]

You are not paranoid at all. Just because a passenger or employee of a ship is onboard, does not mean that person is pure and holy. Use the same precautions as you would at home.

My kids will be 8, 11 and 15 on our next cruise. I booked an inside for fear of the balcony with the little one who is a dare devil and climbs all over stuff.

I read lots of posts where the tweens/teens roam the boat alone, stay at the pool or hang out with a couple of new friends.

I just can't see myself allowing my children roam about unattended by a parent on a cruise ship, especially as large as EPIC while DH and I are off doing our own thing.

My 8 year old will most likely be in the kids club area or with us, so I am not as much worried about her as I am my 15 year old who at 13 already looks 18.

Overprotective and Paranoid.....that's me!

[escentialssoycandles]

I absolutely will allow them to do the kids/teen programs, where at least there is some structure. On our last cruise they wanted to hang out with us. We are cruising with 6 groups of friends, so I know my kids will be in good company and will be mostly hanging out with each other. I just worry about my kids probably more than most! In this day and age I think one can never be too careful!

Thanks for those of you who replied...now I don't feel like the lunatic mom! :-)

[mpdjnr]

The smaller ones shouldn't roam alone but the 15 year old will have the freedom to come and go as he pleases from the teen club. Walkie Talkies on the ship, to keep constant contact, work great.

[FuninWB]

You are a dream parent. If your kids are with you, you know they are not causing a problem nor is anyone taking advantage of them. When I see kids roaming a ship without supervision, I wonder where the parents are and why they would allow this. The Kids Club and Teen Club are wonderful alternatives.

[Smellytoes]

I'm in the same boat (yes pun intended:D) as you. I'm sailing with a 15 yo and 14 yo girls. I know what I allowed my boys to do at that age but I worry more about the girls. They need to be watched more closely.

[Anginette]

IMO a 15 yo should be allowed some freedom - you can set a curfew for the ship just as you would set one at home, eat dinner together, etc. The 8 and 11 yo do need more supervision than is typically given by other parents.

[cxxviii]

Good thread, I thought I'd provide another perspective. We sailed last year on the Jewel with two daughters, 10 and 8. First cruise. For the first few days we were very protective, and our kids didn't want to do the Kids Club because they would be separated and they are "best friends." After a few days, they were tired of the 'special' restaurants and complaining when we went to Cagney's, etc... they wanted the buffet (this is what happens when the top priority is 'fast'...). So we let them do this while we had dinner for 2 at a specialty restaurant. They had walkie talkies, and to be honest the first night we probably called them 10 times... but they had an absolute blast, and from there we began to give them a bit more freedom during the day as well. I really do think that this was the difference between a "really good" cruise for them and a "spectacular" cruise - in fact, we'll be doing the Pearl over Thanksgiving this year (I would have bet money that we were going to be 'one and done' cruisers...).

 

Bottom line, I think every family is different, and all kids are different. But I do also believe that the cruise can offer a great teaching opportunity in this regard - for the right kids, and with the right guidance. At the same time, I'll also agree that I might be MORE hesitant with a 15-year old girl than with my 10 year old... but since I still have no clue about raising teenage girls (yet...), I'll leave that for a future discussion!!

 

Also, for those out there that believe all children under the age of 18 should not be allowed out of their parent's sight... I will go ahead and apologize now for our difference of opinion. But like I always say, if we agree on everything than one of us is redundant!

[willysgrandma]

I also commend you on your ideas. But by the end of the cruise, I'll bet you'll give the older kids a little more slack, especially since they will be traveling with many friends and you may be more comfortable with the ship by then.

 

When my daughter took my grandsons on their first Disney cruise several years back, she brought walkie talkies for them and let them off on their own during certain hours. And they were fine.

 

But kids that are totally unattended are usually the ones that can get into trouble (although I'e seen probably more adult engaging in poor behavior than I've seen kids, LOL). If more parents had your attitude, I'd sail in the summer months.

[cb at sea]

Some freedom is a good thing...it teaches independence, and isn't that what raising kids is all about? Teaching them to be independant??? I don't think any child should just "run free", but allowing them to go to and from specific places for specific reasons and amounts of time is how they learn to get along in this world.

 

And, yes...not booking a balcony for fear of the kids "falling off" was a bit paranoid. So far, NO child has ever "fallen" off a cruiseship!!! At 8 years old, a child is old enough to follow rules!

[che5904]

"Am I being paranoid and over-protective?"

 

The answer to that is yes, but that isn't a bad thing in todays world. You could always sign them up for the kids & teen crew, let them meet others their age on the ship, keeping in mind those others may have a different set of rules. What are your rules at home in your home town or city? I'm sure your children know what they can and can't expect from their parents, and know how to deal with different children having different rules.

 

Print out some deck plans and possible activities to go over what the rules and limits may be before your cruise, with the knowledge that those rules and limits may be revised as you see fit once aboard. Have them work with you on it what you expect and what is acceptable.

 

Only you know how mature your children are and what resposibilities you can expect from them.

[mjkacmom]

Ds8 went on his first cruise at 4, and trust me, if any kid would manage a way over, it would be him, but it was fine. Dd14 didn't even want to come, and leave her friends behind. She went to the club the first night, and after that, she was on her own (with friends, checking in). By the last couple of nights, she ate dinner with her new bff's. She LOVED it! They all became facebook friends, and even had a meet-up a few months later. She has never gotten into any trouble at home when she's out (movies, mall, around town), and until she does, she has my trust.

 

Ds12 had a friend onboard, so they hung out at the pool table, arcade, or on the sports deck. He let us know where he was going next, and ate with us at every meal, and came to the shows with us. We usually could find him at the buffet having some dessert every night.

 

My 7 and 9 year olds hung with us. They could get their own food at the buffet, go get a soda at the pool, etc., but basically stayed with us.

 

Honestly, if dd14 wanted to hop a bus to the city, I'd be fine with it, provided they had some idea what they were doing. She and her friends have been going out to public places without adults for years now.

[Warm Breezes]

You may be a little over protective, but you know your kids best.

 

Personally if it had a rambunctous 8 yo I would avoid a balcony too. As for the older 2, I would let the 11 yo and the 15 yo go places together for extended periods (like basketball or mini-golf) as long as I knew where they were going to be and they knew where I was going to be...communication is the key (with a few spot checks by Mom and Dad to make sure they are where they said they would be). I would also let them go to specific places like to the LIDO for ice cream as long as they came right back and kept to the stairs public areas (I always get rooms by the stairs so they don't need to travel down hallways of just rooms).

 

This is what I have done with my kids who are currently 16 and 14. They have been on 7 cruises since they were 7 and 4. When they were younger it was kids club or with us. As they get older I give them more freedom. They have proven that they can handle it and not abuse it. Most of the time they choose to stick by us anyways so we don't make a big issue out of it. We just make sure we communicate where we all will be when/if we do split up.

[newmexicoNita]

I absolutely will allow them to do the kids/teen programs, where at least there is some structure. On our last cruise they wanted to hang out with us. We are cruising with 6 groups of friends, so I know my kids will be in good company and will be mostly hanging out with each other. I just worry about my kids probably more than most! In this day and age I think one can never be too careful!

Thanks for those of you who replied...now I don't feel like the lunatic mom! :-)

 

When our granddaughters were young the kids programs were not as organized as now. Our younger granddaughter did love spending time with her friends in the center (she was about 10 at the time) but she loved being with us as well. The older one (maybe 13 or 14) prefered to be with us. On our second cruise with the younger one, the older one was working, she didn't want anything to do with the kids program. I think she was about 12. Every kid is different, but they always found plenty to do with us. Now on our last cruise the oldest ones little girl did spend almost all the time in kids camp, but she was not quite 4. That is very different.

 

I am sure the kids will find plenty to do...

 

Nita

[Got2Cruise]

As a teacher, and a mother I can attest to the fact that just because there are rules, doesn't mean the kids are going to follow them especially when Mom or teacher is not around.;) And maybe there hasn't been any kids who have fallen overboard. . .but there have been adults who have.

 

Some freedom is a good thing...it teaches independence, and isn't that what raising kids is all about? Teaching them to be independant??? I don't think any child should just "run free", but allowing them to go to and from specific places for specific reasons and amounts of time is how they learn to get along in this world.

 

And, yes...not booking a balcony for fear of the kids "falling off" was a bit paranoid. So far, NO child has ever "fallen" off a cruiseship!!! At 8 years old, a child is old enough to follow rules!

[Planer's Edge]

As a teacher, and a mother I can attest to the fact that just because there are rules, doesn't mean the kids are going to follow them especially when Mom or teacher is not around.;) And maybe there hasn't been any kids who have fallen overboard. . .but there have been adults who have.

 

...and you can bet that there was usually large amounts of alcohol involved.

 

PE

[Warm Breezes]

Some freedom is a good thing...it teaches independence, and isn't that what raising kids is all about? Teaching them to be independant??? I don't think any child should just "run free", but allowing them to go to and from specific places for specific reasons and amounts of time is how they learn to get along in this world.

 

And, yes...not booking a balcony for fear of the kids "falling off" was a bit paranoid. So far, NO child has ever "fallen" off a cruiseship!!! At 8 years old, a child is old enough to follow rules!

 

Depends on the child....I would have booked a balcony with my kids in an instant at that age (I didn't because of the price difference). I would not even think about booking one if my nephew were going with us... OP knows her 8 year old best. If she thinks she needs to stay away from balconies due to his climbing fetish, then I think she should follow her gut instinct. I don't think that is paranoid at all. That's just a parent knowing their kids and what tempts them.

[nathand95]

Here's my take on it, which should be interesting since im 15.

My parents let me get free roam of the ship, but they only do that because they trust me. I know better than to go off by myself with a crew member, I know not to mess around near railings, and I know to courteous around other guests. If you trust you kids to not do anything stupid,dangerous, or bothersome to other guests than I think you shoul allow them to roam the ship. If you however do not trust your kids, you might want to keep them on a short leash. I encountered all types of teens throughout my cruise (4/.2-4/9). I made a good group a friends the first day and hung out with them all week. We may have gotten loud a few times, but we're teenagers. It's inevitable. There are also other types of teens on board who only want to drink and have sex. One thing you might want to do is let your kids roam, but you might want to meet their friends. My parents do that occasionally and my friends have never been put off by it. I even had lunch one day with my friends parents.

A cruise is a time where a teen should have freedom to be away from their parents and not always worry about mom and dad breathing down their neck. I can't speak for your kids, but personally I would not want to hang out with my parents if I saw abunch of kids my age running around and having the time of their lives.

Bottom line-trust your kids to do the right thing. Feel confident that you instilled in the right morals, values, and decision making skills. The thing i look forward to most on a cruise is meeting people from other states and even counties. (NCL is a very diverse cruise line that attracts many foreigners.).

I hope you have an excellent cruise on the Epic. It is an amazing ship with many teens. I hope your kids have as great of time as I did metting friends and hanging out with them whenever possible.

 

Oh, one other thing. My parents require me to have dinner with them nightly, and go on shore excursions with them. Other than that they do not give me a curfew, since I was in my own cabin and would not disturb them when I came in late. They know that I know the appropriate time i need to be in if we have to get up early for a port or other activity. Also, I would occaisionaly run into my parents throughout the day and would just give them a quick run down of what we are doing that day. I had an awesome time on the Epic and felt very mature for being able to have such freedom.

[Crusin6]

Some freedom is a good thing...it teaches independence, and isn't that what raising kids is all about? Teaching them to be independant??? I don't think any child should just "run free", but allowing them to go to and from specific places for specific reasons and amounts of time is how they learn to get along in this world.

 

And, yes...not booking a balcony for fear of the kids "falling off" was a bit paranoid. So far, NO child has ever "fallen" off a cruiseship!!! At 8 years old, a child is old enough to follow rules!

and yes at 8yo they also know to listen to adults...the crew especially:eek: get my drift? Keep the kids near you OP..you are not paranoid..there are 3000 plus strangers onboard..most of them adults...in uniforms...be it a stewards uniform or an officer's uniform........8 yo kids do not need to ever go anywhere with them either....

 

to this poster...How do you know a kid has never fallen overboard? In Halifax in 2007 a kid fell off the Victory while it was in port.....did you know that? I knew that as it happened the week before we were there...made some local papers...but since the child was saved by a pax it was not that big a deal as he only fell about 20 feet into the water and was only bruised thankfully...the child was 11 I believe.

[BadKitteh]

I wish more parents have a crap half as much as you do! Let me say thank you for caring about your kids and not expecting the ship employees to be babysitters!

 

I agree with the walkie talkie idea. Have you considered taking them to the kid/teen club the first day and then depending on how they feel about it working with them each day to set an itinerary for them? This gives everyone a good idea of who will be where and when ahead of time and if it is written down (notebook/dry erase board) then it can be used as a reference point instead of trying to remember everything for the day.