How is this for DRAMA?

[nbsjcruiser]

You ought to send that story to the writers of a soap opera. Enjoy your trip - sounds like you'll need it.

[hihosilvers]

Of course, you have no idea what occurred in the family prior to when she took the actions that you relate. For all you know, her husband could be a wife-beating, child-abusing jerk and the new man is who finally gave her the self-confidence and support to confront him and end the marriage. As hard as it is to do, the best thing for the rest of you is to MYOB and refuse to speak about the situation with either of the parties or each other (gossip never helped anyone and those children deserve a safe place where people are not talking about their parents and giving them "sympathy" stares.)

 

I am a family law attorney and I can tell you, I see these kind of situations all the time, and there really are two sides to each story. Because you don't know both sides, it is unfair to take sides.

 

Just saying.

 

We do know both sides.

[luvtheships]

Am I the only one who can't believe what people throw onto the electronic street?:confused:

no..you are not alone..but I personally get a laugh at how everyone on the boards believes everything that is posted here and can't tell when someone is just playing with us:D

 

now..just watch...I will be accused of being cynical..untrusting and neurotic....and paranoid... all because I don't believe everything that is posted on an public website...go figure:D

[KTBLUE]

Take her completely out of your cruise vacation mix. The group should all be in agreement on this and w/o being childish or catty, simply tell her that you do not agree with her decisions and wish not to expose yourselves or your kids to this. Find out when her dining time is and choose the other. Make it a point not to want to spy on her or spend the whole cruise gossiping about her. Trust me, her affair is exciting and SHE WILL have a great time with this new dude. Time will catch up with her though, so don't allow her affairs to permeate into YOUR cruise.

 

It is a good thing that she switched cabins so you can more easily avoid her all together.

[KTBLUE]

Also, when it comes to her kids. Welcome them to spend time with the other kids if the opportunity arises. It's not their fault....sometimes hard to separate this reality, but try not to hold them accountable for her.

[Kudos2Fly]

I'm surprised this is even posted?? :confused: Why would someone want to put a family break up on the internet? Even if the peoples names aren't posted it still doesn't matter. There are TWO sides to every story. OP doesn't even know the TRUE reason for the affair. Even if she (the wife) plays around its between her and her husband and no one else. If this is her first affair, there was probably a reason for it. The husband isn't the "victim" in is this either, not if this is the first. Most people have affairs because things aren't going right in the marriage.

 

By the way yes this does affect more then just the wife and husband.. Its effects the whole family and other people involved. Its a said deal. Hopefully neither the wife or husband will find this site. Even if the OP didn't use names, just by the way she told the story I'm sure they would figure it out.

 

I guess I'm getting older. LOL Talking about this type of personal upset doesn't seem to help the parties involved, so why do it....

[sunshine252]

Most people have affairs because things aren't going right in the marriage.

 

I used to believe this too until I started really observing other couples. It seems that quite often, people have affairs because their hormones get pumping then they use the "something was wrong with the relationship" excuse to justify it. There are no "perfect" relationships. If that were a viable excuse, there would be no such thing as monogamy/marriage. LOL

[Indianaseadog]

" If this is her first affair, there was probably a reason for it. The husband isn't the "victim" in is this either, not if this is the first. Most people have affairs because things aren't going right in the marriage."

 

I agree that this is nobody's business and dont think I would post this for everybody's enjoyment. But the way I read your post is that you feel there are GOOD reasons or "acceptable" reasons for an affair. I disagree. There are no good reasons for an affair other than the guilty party being weak and shelfish. If the person is unhappy....get out of the marriage.

JMHO.

[Kudos2Fly]

I used to believe this too until I started really observing other couples. It seems that quite often, people have affairs because their hormones get pumping then they use the "something was wrong with the relationship" excuse to justify it. There are no "perfect" relationships. If that were a viable excuse, there would be no such thing as monogamy/marriage. LOL

 

I'm sure, its easy to get a divorce these days. But it also comes down to "communication" which people don't do much these days either. Also some people aren't willing to work through any problems that may come up.. As long as things are easy going, then its okay.

 

My parents have been married for 44 years. They stay together because they WORK at the marriage everyday... They have had their ups and downs and worked through those together.

 

Don't get me wrong sometimes divorce is needed. I personally know someone that had to do that. But posting someone family problems on the internet other then to spread "gossip" is to me in bad taste.

[sunshine252]

I'm sure, its easy to get a divorce these days. But it also comes down to "communication" which people don't do much these days either. Also some people aren't willing to work through any problems that may come up.. As long as things are easy going, then its okay.

 

My parents have been married for 44 years. They stay together because they WORK at the marriage everyday... They have had their ups and downs and worked through those together.

 

Don't get me wrong sometimes divorce is needed. I personally know someone that had to do that. But posting someone family problems on the internet other then to spread "gossip" is to me in bad taste.

 

Weelll... I'm certainly not disputing the "taste" factor. It seemed like the OP was more or less "venting" her frustration, which is usually a female thing... or maybe I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt. LOL & I completely agree that (especially younger) people that get married these days are less inclined to work at their marriage. It quite often seems to be a "do what feels good" thing & once the "all about me" ceremony is over, the relationship isn't far behind. :( Very sad indeed... but that seems to be the society we live in now.

[Kudos2Fly]

" If this is her first affair, there was probably a reason for it. The husband isn't the "victim" in is this either, not if this is the first. Most people have affairs because things aren't going right in the marriage."

 

I agree that this is nobody's business and dont think I would post this for everybody's enjoyment. But the way I read your post is that you feel there are GOOD reasons or "acceptable" reasons for an affair. I disagree. There are no good reasons for an affair other than the guilty party being weak and shelfish. If the person is unhappy....get out of the marriage.

JMHO.

 

Never said there was a GOOD reason to have an affair. I said there are "reasons". Someone I knew had affair and she had her "reasons" which of course I disagreed with and told her, she needed to "talk" to her husband to get it WORK it out between them or go to a family counselor...

 

So I don't think there ever is a good affair... and never said that.

[Kudos2Fly]

Weelll... I'm certainly not disputing the "taste" factor. It seemed like the OP was more or less "venting" her frustration, which is usually a female thing... or maybe I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt. LOL & I completely agree that (especially younger) people that get married these days are less inclined to work at their marriage. It quite often seems to be a "do what feels good" thing & once the "all about me" ceremony is over, the relationship isn't far behind. :( Very sad indeed... but that seems to be the society we live in now.

 

Thanks that was my point. :)

[sunshine252]

Thanks that was my point. :)

 

Then I guess both of our points is that there's a good probability that there's something wrong with one of the people in the marriage! :D

 

ETA: That was supposed to be a weak attempt at humor... LOL

[San_Antonio_Ex]

Yes, and that is why you divorce a wife-beating, child-abusing jerk. You don't go cheating around behind his back. If her husband was an a hole, she should've moved out, taken her kids, etc. That way the kids understand why she is doing what she is doing.

 

She doesn't sound too smart to me.

 

All I'm saying is that it is easy to cast stones. No one knows what has happened behind their closed doors. But lots of people, and I mean lots and lots of people can't afford to get divorced so they go their separate ways and live their own lives without getting one.

 

This is just simply no one's business except the husband and wife involved. The fact that the OP and friends were miffed at wife 2 is likely more a reaction to their own lack of confidence in their own marriages than any valid sense of outrage. I'm not saying that there is any reason to be concerned about their marriages, just that when one close friend breaks up, it can create a concern about one's own marriage's ability to survive in this world.

 

I repeat my earlier advice - everyone needs to mind their own business and butt out!

[San_Antonio_Ex]

We do know both sides.

 

No you don't. You know what both sides chose to tell you. Very huge difference.

[Kudos2Fly]

Then I guess both of our points is that there's a good probability that there's something wrong with one of the people in the marriage! :D

 

ETA: That was supposed to be a weak attempt at humor... LOL

 

LOL Opps...:eek:

[sunshine252]

lol opps...:eek:

 

lol

[Jimmy Geegitz]

Ok so #2 is boinkin #4's boss. And #3 is related to #2 and #1 doesnt like that #2 is boinkin #4's bos so #1 and #3 got together to kick out #2 so #4's boss could boink #2 all week long while #1 and half of #2 and #3 and #4 are on a caribbean cruise. In the mean time #2 and #4's boss go on thier own cruise and boink so much they will introduce #5 when you all get home.

[Teechur]

Ok so #2 is boinkin #4's boss. And #3 is related to #2 and #1 doesnt like that #2 is boinkin #4's bos so #1 and #3 got together to kick out #2 so #4's boss could boink #2 all week long while #1 and half of #2 and #3 and #4 are on a caribbean cruise. In the mean time #2 and #4's boss go on thier own cruise and boink so much they will introduce #5 when you all get home.

Thank you for clearing all of this up, in a very succinct manner!:D

[peptobysmol]

I'm surprised this is even posted?? because its Juicy :) :confused: Why would someone want to put a family break up on the internet? because its juicy Even if the peoples names aren't posted it still doesn't matter. because its juicy There are TWO sides to every story. haven't you read? There are 3 OP doesn't even know the TRUE reason for the affair. why would the true reason matter? Even if she (the wife) plays (it's actually called fornicating) around its between her and her husband (seems like there is a 3rd person involved here :D) and no one else the kids and extended family would beg to differ. If this is her first affair, there was probably a reason for it. There might be a reason for her wanting to find "comfort" in anothers arms but no excuse for how she's handling it. The husband isn't the "victim" in is this either, not if this is the first. OH REALLY? wrong on sooo many levels... Most people have affairs because things aren't going right in the marriage. Pure genius!

 

By the way yes this does affect more then just the wife and husband.. but you said it was only between them sooo it isn't?? :confused: Its effects the whole family and other people involved. Its a said deal. Hopefully neither the wife or husband will find this site. we don't want either of them to know about the infidelity!!! Even if the OP didn't use names, just by the way she told the story I'm sure they would figure it out. 'cause then they would be BUSTED!!! :D

 

I guess I'm getting older. LOL Talking about this type of personal upset doesn't seem to help the parties involved how do you know this?, so why do it....

 

Seriously, stuff like this happens far too often and people turn a blind eye and don't discuss how one's actions affect so many others - to the offending party. There are proper ways to handle matters like this and she appears to be doing none of them. Yes it's politically correct to just keep quiet. Bravo there you go, this is our society.... :(

[Blizzardlane]

Wow...so how does husband #4 (the friend and employee of boss having affair with wife of family #2) look at his boss everyday knowing all this is going on? He is still friends with this guy?

 

I also want to know how anyone else but Cuckold Husband and Wayward Wife #2 and Casanove Boss of #4-Lover of WW#2 were out any money whatsoever with the upgrades, downgrades, cancellations and airfare. Did any other couple change any of their plans because of this?

 

Seriously, stuff like this happens far too often and people turn a blind eye and don't discuss how one's actions affect so many others - to the offending party. There are proper ways to handle matters like this and she appears to be doing none of them. Yes it's politically correct to just keep quiet. Bravo there you go, this is our society....

 

ITA. What you should do is write about it on the Internets and get a lot of opinions from strangers.

[Creepella]

from what i understand with canada (well at least in vancouver, other provinces may vary) but you have to be separated for a year before you can file divorce. is it true throughout all of canada, hihosilvers?

 

I can only speak for Ontario, but the separation is only required for a no-fault divorce. If the divorce is based on grounds (adultery, cruelty, etc...) there is no waiting period.

[marshhawk]

I think the OP was just venting -about the problems of friends and groups and cruising, and wanted to share with us that all's well that ends well. Americans on a whole disapprove of affairs, and yet we are all glued to European films about them. In this case -the American understanding -that an affair is to fix a personal need that is not being met at home-in this case however what is not being met, involves two children, and a husband, not the friends although it may hurt the relations. Affairs are all about this is "my immediate need" and while divorce is financially costly, affairs are emotionally costly, and far more damaging than money. If she ain't happy at home, it's time to get out. JMHO

[Cruisecat40]

Well, just call me inquisitive>>>> I would like to thank the OP for sharing / venting about the drama that was occuring before their upcoming cruise. It was a welcomed change from ALL of the REDUNDANT Passport threads. While I feel bad for all parties involved, I would suggest the OP remain a neutral party because they may decide to work on their marriage at a later date.

[craftykitty]

Save the cruise money, chip in for his divorce attorney. You'll all enjoy the time better.