?Tablemate infidelity?

[askimdog]

We have never on our 3 cruises had to sit with strangers, and would not do it. Meals are time for us to talk over daily events with family or friends who cruise with us. Otherwise we get a table for 3.

Last month we had some troubles with service and length of dining time so we only did 2 breakfast and 2 dinners in the MDR anyway, and the other meals we never checked in and told them we would be elsewhere.

[okgirl]

I do YTD these days, but when I did traditional I always told my table mates that I won't necessarily be there every night and might even disappear completely.

And also to start without me if I'm ever more than 10 minutes late.

[leftisport]

I am surprised to hear all the concerns raised in this thread. We tried anytime dining and made some new friends that we agreed to meet for dinner several times. Other nights when seated with other people, it didnt work out so well. Oh, well, luck of the draw. Occasionally we ate at a table for two. If we had time to linger over dinner and conversation, we chose a table to share with others. If we wanted a faster dinner, we dined at a table for two. We also tried traditional seating on other cruises. The times didnt work out for us, but the tablemates were great. We have stayed in touch with them over the years.

[april47]

I had no idea that they waited for you to show up to serve the table. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I assumed that if you decide on room service, the buffet, or you were running late on a late tour that they just started without you. Why on earth would the waiters wait for a late guest?

[boogs]

[quote name='april47']I had no idea that they waited for you to show up to serve the table. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I assumed that if you decide on room service, the buffet, or you were running late on a late tour that they just started without you. Why on earth would the waiters wait for a late guest?[/QUOTE]

It's completely logical, when you think about it. For the wait staff, it is easier to take orders and serve everyone at the same time. When they take orders from the people at the table, they explain the evening's selections, answer questions, and start serving the first course. If missing people appeared late, they'd have to interrupt delivering the first course, come back to the table, explain the evenings selections again, answer questions again, and then deliver the first course separately for those people. Makes more work for the wait staff to wait on one table on two separate schedules.

[PA Beachlovers]

We went on our first cruise last October, we took late dining and wondered how the seating arrangement would be for dinner. We were fortunate to sit with a very nice couple at our table. We ate together all but one night, we knew they were not coming and we had a long day on our excursion and decided to skip the same night. We were the same excursion with them at one port, while we didn't hang out with them we did socialize with them a little on beach. Hopefully on our next cruise we get somebody just as nice.

[ithaca gal]

We have been on six cruises and always have been very, very lucky to have wonderful, personable, fun-loving tablemates. On our most recent cruise, my husband and I were seated at a table for 8. Our tablemates were a family of three (Mom, Dad and 37 year old son), a man from Masschusetts who was celebrating his birthday (sailing alone) and a retired (early) woman from England. We had great fun and never lacked for conversation. And ....... lo and behold ....... the man and woman FELL IN LOVE during the cruise! It was such fun to see it unfold and be a part of it all. She has just flown to the States to spend more time with him and we hope to meet up with them in New York in April. Wouldn't have missed that for the world!

I'm sure we will eventually be seated with people who aren't as fun, interesting or sociable as all the others, but it's been a great run and we wouldn't think of sitting at a table for two.

[paul929207]

When the first couple sits at the table, they do not start taking dinner orders immediately. The assumption is that the others will be along in the next few minutes. I think they usually wait 10 or 15 minutes past the official time for stragglers to arrive. If people are still missing then the start taking orders. Of course. if the missing people have notified the waitstaff or their table mates that they will be absent, then no one waits for them.

[4spring]

I like the recommendations people have voiced stating that they tell their tablemates on the first night that if they don't show up in 5- 10 minutes each night, to start without them. Seems like this is a good way to show manners & to have the flexibility.

[gubby]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][B]We have cruised about 20 times and have always opted for traditional dining. Only once have we not had completely compatible table mates, but the couple who seemed incompatible with the other 8 at the table made other arrangements after the 2nd night. Everyone else has been delightful and very interesting to talk to. Like many of you, we feel that it is simply good manners to let others know if we will not be joining them for dinner if we know that ahead of time. We have had to wait if someone didn't show up on time and we wouldn't want to do that to anyone. I like the suggestion to let tablemates know not to wait beyond a certain time if we are not there. We are also planning on using the anytime dining option on our next cruise as we always have met some great people that we would have liked to dine with and this would be the ideal way to do that. Dining with others is a fun way to end a great day as we have been on our own for the past 20 years.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][B]Ciao,[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][B]Nikki[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[geoherb]

The strangest thing that happened to us was when a couple who ate dinner with us the first night on a cruise requested to be moved to a different table. They ended up just one table over. The four of us left did talk about them a bit.

[boogs]

[quote name='geoherb']The strangest thing that happened to us was when a couple who ate dinner with us the first night on a cruise requested to be moved to a different table. They ended up just one table over. [B]The four of us left did talk about them a bit.[/B][/QUOTE]

Seem like they were justified in asking to be moved.

[Donder1]

Every time I see this thread, I think that the thread's title is a riot!

That said, we always try to get a table for two. But, I'd rather sit with 6 or 8 if we had to. And, like others have said, I'd say that if we are not there, please start without us.

And, if I was seated with folks where the chemistry was simply not good, I'd ask to be moved. No regrets or apologies.

[johneeo]

[quote name='boogs']Seem like they were justified in asking to be moved.[/quote]

So, if you and your SO were seated at a table with 4 others, and 2 decided to leave your table and sat at the table next to you, you would not have discussed this?

Yeah, right.:eek:

[boogs]

[quote name='johneeo']So, if you and your SO were seated at a table with 4 others, and 2 decided to leave your table and sat at the table next to you, you would not have discussed this?

Yeah, right.:eek:[/QUOTE]

Yep, that's right, I would not feel the need to talk about them. There are so many reasons why someone would want to move that it isn't worth the effort to speculate about it. Did they move because they didn't like the color of our skin? Did they move because they had intestinal problems and were saving us from the discomfort they might cause us? Did they want to be in a more open area of the dining room? Were they of a different political or religious view and couldn't tolerate a different opinion? Did they want to be seated with new friends they had just met? Did they know the servers at the other table and had developed a strong rapport with them on a previous cruise? Who knows?

And why should I even care? If you want to be bothered that they moved, go right ahead. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest - unless they were confrontational about it in the process. I'm on vacation - no worries! :D

[johneeo]

[quote name='boogs'] If you want to be bothered that they moved, go right ahead. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest - unless they were confrontational about it in the process. I'm on vacation - no worries! :D[/quote]

Would not bother me in the least either.

However, I have no doubt there would have been a discussion about it.

[LuckyStar]

Last cruise, we were table mates with a really nice couple from Canada. They were our age and we had great dinners and much laughter. Wouldn't have missed it.

[LA_CA_GAL]

[quote name='johneeo']Would not bother me in the least either.

However, I have no doubt there would have been a discussion about it.[/quote]

How dare they!

There must be something horribly wrong with them not to be ecstatic dining with someone of my caliber.

You bet I would be talking about them.

[jilaxton]

[quote name='lahlah57']My husband and I are no cruise novices but we have felt on many occasions, as far as the traditional dining is concerned, that we are uncomfortable at times when we do not join our tablemates for dinner on any particular night.
Have you ever been interrogated as to your whereabouts for dinner the night before?
Have you ever been "caught" with another couple at a different eating venue?
Did you meet up with one couple from your usual traditional table only to be eyed by the other couple or couples as though you were a cad?
Do you make up stories of being ill so as to just stay in room and order room service?
If you have, you are a tablemate cheater:eek:.........what's your story?[/QUOTE]
Cruise etiquette in general is more to do with inflicting your fellow pasengers with something .... talking loudly on a cellphone, scraping chairs along the deck at night, not supervising rowdy children, hogging chairs, touching items on the buffet with your hands, pushing, slamming cabin doors, constantly showing off your multi thousand Rolex watch, and in general being a pest.
But those who don't know how to be rude, over over-exert themselves in the politeness stakes. Unless you have come on board with family and friends and are seated with them, you have no need to apologise to other members of your table - people you have never met before - for not being there some nights. For all they know you are unwell and laid down on your bed.
No etiquette exists that requires this, nor need you feel ashamed in any way. However, if you absolutely feel that you need to say something, you have only to mention in general conversation on your first night that you may sometimes choose to eat elsewhere.

[John Bull]

[quote name='jilaxton']No etiquette exists that requires this, nor need you feel ashamed in any way. However, if you absolutely feel that you need to say something, you have only to mention in general conversation on your first night that you may sometimes choose to eat elsewhere.[/quote]

There most certainly IS an etiquette - its called consideration for others :rolleyes:, and there most certainly IS a need to say something, as mentoned many times on this thread.

"if you absolutely feel the need...." doesn't come into it. Common courtesy dictates that you tell your table companions that you will not / may not be at dinner so that they are not kept waiting for your no-show.

And if the best you can manage is to say at the outset that you "may not be at table" every evening, then tell them to start without you if you're not there when you should be.
Not if you don't show "within ten minutes".
Don't expect them to work to [U]your[/U] timetable, Beachchick. :mad:

Although most folk on this thread accept the need to at least forewarn table companions that they may not show, many overlook the fact that those folk have probably chosen to share a table, because they enjoy the company of others at dinner.
By electing to share a table (accepted that two-tops or MTD may sometimes not be available), you are denying them the opportunity to dine with like-minded cruisers & obliging them to share a table with empty chairs.

But what the hell, it's your vacation so why give a damn for others.

If you aim to spend a lot of your evenings dining elsewhere, why not choose MTD or a two-top as suggested by many on this thread, ideal for both you and everyone else.

Whether you choose to tell folk why you won't be at table is up to you, though I don't entirely see a reason for being secretive.
I've always found it a topic of conversation the next evening, whether it's someone's anniversary they''ve celebrated in a premium dining venue or where they dined ashore or the exausting day they had on a hectic shore excursion.
If such conversation isn't your scene, then I strongly suspect that neither is a shared table.

[B][COLOR=red]JB[/COLOR][/B] :)

[johneeo]

[quote name='John Bull']There most certainly IS an etiquette - its called consideration for others :rolleyes:, and there most certainly IS a need to say something, as mentoned many times on this thread.

"if you absolutely feel the need...." doesn't come into it. Common courtesy dictates that you tell your table companions that you will not / may not be at dinner so that they are not kept waiting for your no-show.

And if the best you can manage is to say at the outset that you "may not be at table" every evening, then tell them to start without you if you're not there when you should be.
Not if you don't show "within ten minutes".
Don't expect them to work to [U]your[/U] timetable, Beachchick. :mad:

Although most folk on this thread accept the need to at least forewarn table companions that they may not show, many overlook the fact that those folk have probably chosen to share a table, because they enjoy the company of others at dinner.
By electing to share a table (accepted that two-tops or MTD may sometimes not be available), you are denying them the opportunity to dine with like-minded cruisers & obliging them to share a table with empty chairs.

But what the hell, it's your vacation so why give a damn for others.

If you aim to spend a lot of your evenings dining elsewhere, why not choose MTD or a two-top as suggested by many on this thread, ideal for both you and everyone else.

Whether you choose to tell folk why you won't be at table is up to you, though I don't entirely see a reason for being secretive.
I've always found it a topic of conversation the next evening, whether it's someone's anniversary they''ve celebrated in a premium dining venue or where they dined ashore or the exausting day they had on a hectic shore excursion.
If such conversation isn't your scene, then I strongly suspect that neither is a shared table.

[B][COLOR=red]JB[/COLOR][/B] :)[/quote]

Nicely said.

[B]This should be required reading for anyone taking a cruise.[/B]

[jilaxton]

[quote name='John Bull']There most certainly IS an etiquette - its called consideration for others :rolleyes:, and there most certainly IS a need to say something, as mentoned many times on this thread.

"if you absolutely feel the need...." doesn't come into it. Common courtesy dictates that you tell your table companions that you will not / may not be at dinner so that they are not kept waiting for your no-show.

And if the best you can manage is to say at the outset that you "may not be at table" every evening, then tell them to start without you if you're not there when you should be.
Not if you don't show "within ten minutes".
Don't expect them to work to [U]your[/U] timetable, Beachchick. :mad:

Although most folk on this thread accept the need to at least forewarn table companions that they may not show, many overlook the fact that those folk have probably chosen to share a table, because they enjoy the company of others at dinner.
By electing to share a table (accepted that two-tops or MTD may sometimes not be available), you are denying them the opportunity to dine with like-minded cruisers & obliging them to share a table with empty chairs.

But what the hell, it's your vacation so why give a damn for others.

If you aim to spend a lot of your evenings dining elsewhere, why not choose MTD or a two-top as suggested by many on this thread, ideal for both you and everyone else.

Whether you choose to tell folk why you won't be at table is up to you, though I don't entirely see a reason for being secretive.
I've always found it a topic of conversation the next evening, whether it's someone's anniversary they''ve celebrated in a premium dining venue or where they dined ashore or the exausting day they had on a hectic shore excursion.
If such conversation isn't your scene, then I strongly suspect that neither is a shared table.

[B][COLOR=red]JB[/COLOR][/B] :)[/QUOTE]
Etiquette is a set of laid-down advisory rules. What we are talking about here is more about people's different assumptions as to what constitutes manners and what does not. So if a couple explains pleasantly at the start of a cruise that they may not always dine in the MDR, and that therefore no one need ever wait, the last thing they could be called is inconsiderate.

[jilaxton]

[quote name='johneeo']Nicely said.

[B]This should be required reading for anyone taking a cruise.[/B][/QUOTE]
I ought to add that I am 94, so it was delightful to be called a Beach Chick!.....
Emily

[beachchick]

[quote name='John Bull']There most certainly IS an etiquette - its called consideration for others :rolleyes:, and there most certainly IS a need to say something, as mentoned many times on this thread.

"if you absolutely feel the need...." doesn't come into it. Common courtesy dictates that you tell your table companions that you will not / may not be at dinner so that they are not kept waiting for your no-show.

And if the best you can manage is to say at the outset that you "may not be at table" every evening, then tell them to start without you if you're not there when you should be.
[B]Not if you don't show "within ten minutes".
Don't expect them to work to [U]your[/U] timetable, Beachchick. :mad:[/B]

Although most folk on this thread accept the need to at least forewarn table companions that they may not show, many overlook the fact that those folk have probably chosen to share a table, because they enjoy the company of others at dinner.
By electing to share a table (accepted that two-tops or MTD may sometimes not be available), you are denying them the opportunity to dine with like-minded cruisers & obliging them to share a table with empty chairs.

But what the hell, it's your vacation so why give a damn for others.

If you aim to spend a lot of your evenings dining elsewhere, why not choose MTD or a two-top as suggested by many on this thread, ideal for both you and everyone else.

Whether you choose to tell folk why you won't be at table is up to you, though I don't entirely see a reason for being secretive.
I've always found it a topic of conversation the next evening, whether it's someone's anniversary they''ve celebrated in a premium dining venue or where they dined ashore or the exausting day they had on a hectic shore excursion.
If such conversation isn't your scene, then I strongly suspect that neither is a shared table.

[B][COLOR=red]JB[/COLOR][/B] :)[/quote]

What the hell? It can take that long to get everyone into the dining room and seated, the time is not unreasonable.

I guess if your table mates aren't standing right outside the door where they can run to the table and be there instantly, then they are being rude. And I expect that they'd better not miss more than one evening because it deprives you of the company you signed up for.

I think you're the one being rude here.

beachchick

[John Bull]

[quote name='jilaxton']Etiquette is a set of laid-down advisory rules. What we are talking about here is more about people's different assumptions as to what constitutes manners and what does not. So if a couple explains pleasantly at the start of a cruise that they may not always dine in the MDR, and that therefore no one need ever wait, the last thing they could be called is inconsiderate.[/quote]

Hi Emily,
"Etiquette" and "manners" are your words, I look more at "consideration for others"
Yes, what you suggest is considerate. Presuming that your places at table aren't going to be empty more often than they're occupied, in which case there are much better options than a fixed shared table.
Though when you know that you're going to be absent, I think you'd agree it's no grest hardship to mention that "we're going to try the Moonraker Restaurant tomorrow evening".

[quote name='jilaxton']I ought to add that I am 94, so it was delightful to be called a Beach Chick!.....
Emily[/quote]

Sorry to disappoint you, Emily, but my observation of a lack of consideration wasn't aimed at yourself, it was aimed at a poster called Beachchick & a couple of others.
If you wanna be a Beachchick, hey why not, don't let age get in the way.
But the name comes with my view of Beachchick's attitude.:D


[quote name='beachchick']What the hell? It can take that long to get everyone into the dining room and seated, the time is not unreasonable.

I guess if your table mates aren't standing right outside the door where they can run to the table and be there instantly, then they are being rude. And I expect that they'd better not miss more than one evening because it deprives you of the company you signed up for.

I think you're the one being rude here.

beachchick[/quote]

I always look on exaggeration of the other person's viewpoint as a sign of a weak argument :p
No need to be first in line at the door, no need to run, no need to appear at the table instantly. You know that's not what I'm saying.
Just the civility of not expecting others to wait once they're at table, just in case you might be running late.
"If we're not there when you're ready, please don't wait for us"
That's easy enough isn't it?

I don't see taking a contrary view as being rude.

Regards to all
[B][COLOR=red]JB[/COLOR][/B] :)