?Tablemate infidelity?

[lahlah57]

My husband and I are no cruise novices but we have felt on many occasions, as far as the traditional dining is concerned, that we are uncomfortable at times when we do not join our tablemates for dinner on any particular night.

Have you ever been interrogated as to your whereabouts for dinner the night before?

Have you ever been "caught" with another couple at a different eating venue?

Did you meet up with one couple from your usual traditional table only to be eyed by the other couple or couples as though you were a cad?

Do you make up stories of being ill so as to just stay in room and order room service?

If you have, you are a tablemate cheater:eek:.........what's your story?

[grand isle joe]

I'm on vacation! I don't owe anyone an "excuse" UNLESS they are paying for my cruise. It's nice to be nice, but better to BE ON VACATION with my family.;):)

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but it's fun to read the stories.....:D

[paul929207]

Whenever we will not be at dinner, we let our tablemates or waitstaff know so that they are not waiting for us.

 

We have not had any of the problems you described.

[LHT28]

we do "open dining"

No excuses to anyone

[tigercat]

We also tell our tablemates the night before that we won't be there. I think that is just being polite so that everyone is not waiting for you to arrive so that the dinner can start.

tigercat

[cruzluvers]

We do the same thing but usually our tablemates are so great that we don't want to miss dining with them. We've been very lucky. LOL

[John Bull]

I'm on vacation! I don't owe anyone an "excuse" UNLESS they are paying for my cruise. It's nice to be nice, but better to BE ON VACATION with my family.;):)

 

 

C'me on Joe, doesn't matter if you lie through your teeth, but it's common courtesy to forewarn your table-mates if you're planning not to be at table.

 

And if it's something you aim to do a lot, do the same as LHT.

Your table-mates have elected to share a table, & you (and lahlah ?) are denying them the opportunity to share with others who give a damn.

They're on vacation too.

 

JB :(

[misty57]

We usually only miss the MDR for one of the alternative restaurants. On our 4 day Majesty we had a late lunch one day and DH didn't feel up to having dinner, and then we went to the WJ for the one formal night. Didn't plan on it, that's just how things worked out. When we did make it back to the MDR, our tablemates really gave us the cold shoulder. SO jr high!!!

After that, I tell our tablemates and waitstaff that if we are not at our table by starting time, not to wait for us. If I know we are going to an alternative venue, I will tell them. We have had tablemates that come and go from night to night. I don't really care what others do, and I don't think I should have to explain myself to others either. I would just as soon have a table for 2 or MTD, but DH likes larger tables. :p I'm kind of getting over the dining with others thing, although we have met some very nice people.

[Putterdude]

When we know we are going to be in another venue for dinner the following night then we let our table mates and wait staff know this. There has been the odd occasion that we have been late coming back from an excursion where we have missed our usual early seating and gone to ATD and will tell out table mates and wait staff the next evening what happened....but we have never been questioned as to our whereabouts.

[lahlah57]

Bull---common courtesy or not, my vacations revolve around deciding one moment to the next what I will be doing. I never decide the day before, the night before or even an hour before.

Especially on vacation....decisions are made on the spur of the moment and to hunt down a tablemate to tell them not to expect me at dinner is something I haven't done since living with mommy.

Please don't hold dinner at 8 for me and I will do the same for you;)

[dolittle]

Only one time on a 12 med we were with the same couple(4 top C.C.L.) just way to much, sick of looking at them and I am sure they felt the same way.So we skiped one night and hoped they would do the same,they did not get the hint so it was 11 nights

[mousey]

We do the same thing but usually our tablemates are so great that we don't want to miss dining with them. We've been very lucky. LOL

 

I totally agree. We too have been very lucky. If we know ahead of time that we won't be at dinner we will let the people at our table know. I think it is really rude to just not show up and keep people waiting for you before they can order. If you don't join your table because you didn't know until the last minute that you weren't going to make dinner with your group, I would appologize profusely the next time I saw them, be it at the next night's dinner or somewhere on the ship.

 

I don't think it is necessary to eat at your assigned table every night, but I do think manners are very important in letting your tablemates know you won't be there if you are able to, or appologize the next day. We have actually gone out of our way to go and let our tablemates know that we won't be having dinner with them when we could. Yes, it's our cruise and we can do whatever we want and what we want is to be polite and courteous to our new made table mates.

[lahlah57]

Mousey~I would be apologizing thru the entire trip.

Please do not wait for me and I will not wait for you. Apologies not expected!

[cb at sea]

We've never had those problems.....we get along with our tablemates...tell them if we know we won't be there....and there's no problems! Methinks you like alot of drama!

[lahlah57]

No drama--just some odd situations(more than once) that I wondered if others have ever experienced the same.

I just want to have a good time without explanations to the strangers that we travel with.

[sherilyn70]

Mousey~I would be apologizing thru the entire trip.

Please do not wait for me and I will not wait for you. Apologies not expected!

 

If you know you like to be sporadic and not eat at a set time... then why not sign up for dining on your own terms instead of a main seating with a set table?

[FLYERGRL48]

This is why we are planning to do ATD. We are a "on a whim kind of couple" in our everyday life, so on vacation it won't be any different! We won't know from day to day or even hour to hour what we want to do.

[Zach1213]

Maybe it's because I'm a bad cruiser, but I try to avoid mixing guilt and vacation. I'll do anything possible to make sure my table is only two seats, but if I were to ever get stuck with strangers (no thanks), I'd feel no obligation whatsoever to explain myself.

[swsfrail]

Seems for some people on this board, being courteous to others is so irritating that they can't be bothered to show some consideration. Attitudes that they are on vacation and don't owe anyone an excuse, or it's their vacation and they don't have to explain themselves to their table mates, or if they were to ever get stuck with strangers they'd feel no obligation whatsoever to explain themselves. I guess for some it's too huge an effort to be kind to others. :rolleyes:

 

Thank heaven I wasn't brought up in such a self centered world.

[Silvery Seas Cruiser]

We ask for a table for two precisely so that we do not have to make excuses and explainations to strangers. But we can't always get a table for two and when we don't, we tell our table mates on night one that we will not always be at dinner and please never, ever wait for us because our plans are often made on the spur of the moment.

 

We travel to enjoy each other. We don't want to take on heavy social obligations to people we barely know when we are on vacation. We actually have plenty of that on shore in day-to-day life. By the same token, I don't expect others to feel obligated to me on vacation. If they are table mates and want to eat elsewhere, more power to them.

[grand isle joe]

C'me on Joe, doesn't matter if you lie through your teeth, but it's common courtesy to forewarn your table-mates if you're planning not to be at table.

 

And if it's something you aim to do a lot, do the same as LHT.

Your table-mates have elected to share a table, & you (and lahlah ?) are denying them the opportunity to share with others who give a damn.

They're on vacation too.

 

JB :(

I would always tell them if I would no be at dinner BUT I would not find the need to explain why. But I thought that the O.P. wanted some tales of "white lies" one tells to avoid sticky situations. I would say " we won't be seeing you tomorrow and have a nice night". But I would never lie or feel a need to elaborate on the reason. Sorry I misunderstood the post. It happens alot.

:)

 

P.S. I'm still waiting for some amusing stories...:D

[mr green]

IMO it is bad manners not to inform your table mates, or wait staff that you will not be showing up for the evening meal.

If you don't do this it means that your table mates meal will be delayed, waiting for a 'no show'.

The 'I'm all right Jack' habit does not cut it, when others are put out by your selfishness.

 

john

[SPacificbound]

MTD is the key. We don't know where or what time we are going to "dine" when we are on vacation or at home. :p

[fleckle]

You are on vacation to enjoy yourselves. You are not married to those people. Dinner on a cruise ship is supposed to be a pleasant experience for you, not an ordeal that you are forced to attend grudgingly like dinner at the home of your boss or a grumpy great aunt.

 

If you know in advance that you will not be there the next night, it is nice to let your table mates and waiter know in advance.

 

But it is likely that you yourself may not always know in advance.

 

Sometimes you may decide on the spur of the moment that you prefer to eat somewhere else that night.

 

Sometimes you may come back to the ship late, or be tired or not be hungry, or decide to stay out on deck to watch a beautiful sunset at dinner time.

 

HeavySurf has provided the right answer.

On the first night, tell everyone at the table and your waiter not to wait for you if you are not there on time.

Then you are off the hook for the entire cruise.

 

You are not obligated to give anyone an explanation when you come back if you don't want to do so. The waiter or someone at the table will usually make polite conversation and say something like "We missed you last night."

 

Then you give a light response like "Sorry, we got tied up and couldn't make it. Did we miss anything interesting?"

That throws the ball back to them and they tell you about the great chicken or dessert or whatever that they had.

 

The first few times we knew we were going to miss dinner, we called the dining room to leave a message for our waiter. Each time we did that, the person who answered the phone informed us that it was not necessary. So we stopped doing it.

 

As others have suggested, you may want to opt for open dining (or select dining or anytime dining). It is called by different names on different cruise lines. There you can just show up each night whenever you like, ask to be seated with others or by yourselves, or not show up at all, as you prefer.

[beachchick]

The only person I have to answer to in regards to fidelity is my hubby (and by extension a higher power to whom we made our vows). I don't feel the least bit guilty if we dine elsewhere and would not care to be interrogated about it. I wouldn't care if table mates saw us dining somewhere else or with other people. We didn't make vows to spend dinner with them; the cruise line assigned them as our table mates.

 

However, it is common courtesy to let table mates and waitstaff know in advance if we won't be at the MDR the following evening. Sometimes, we don't decide until the last minute and don't feel a pressing need to go tell anyone. However, as others have mentioned, we either do anytime dining (love it because it can be just us or we can dine with new friends) or tell table mates the first evening that if we are not at the table within 10 minutes of the dining room doors opening to assume that we will not be there that evening.

 

beachchick