Giving food to room steward/waitstaff?

[Orator]

What about a gift of food from a member of the crew to a passenger? I'm aware of several cases. There are two waiters from Goa who want to give me a supply of Goa cashews. Say that they're the best in the world. I've received bottles of wine from staff who did not need to do anything special for me. One Hotel Manager treated DW and I to dinner in Murano. I've taken staff to dinner. It works both ways. To me it's not always about tips, it's often about treasured relationships.

[mandream]

There are two waiters from Goa who want to give me a supply of Goa cashews.

I don't suppose one of them was Jim "Salas" Fernandez by any chance?

 

Mike

[CathyCruises]

OK, I understand that without some background it is difficult to see that I was offended - or maybe mortified is the better word - with the present of 2 small chocolates ;

This colleague was on same level as I was, but her husband was director in same company. She has always been very arrogant, looking down her nose at her colleagues, bragging about all the expensive things she bought, expensive travels, luxury hotels stayed in, etc. She would never give you the time of day, i.e. help you with something, or just be a nice person.

I absolutely did not expect nor want a present or souvenir from her, it was not the custom where we worked anyway.

This was just a big put-me-down ; giving me a little box with 2 chocolates that was on her pillow at night in one of the fancy hotels she went to. I looked like she just wanted to show off that she really was in this 6-star hotel. By-the-way, the chocolates were practically stale and the box completely crumpled, after her 6 week trip, seemed like she just found it at the bottom of her trunk and forgot to throw it out. And I complained because I did not have the courage to refuse it, felt like a dog that someone throws a bone to and still had to say thank you.

Just think how you would feel if someone brings you the free hotel soap as a souvenir present.

 

I know some of you are meaning well in giving chocolates to the staff and will feel that this is not comparable at all, but reading those posts brought this particular own experience all back to me.

And by-they-way, I have received other chocolates from other people in my life, and have appreciated and enjoyed them very much.

 

Well even if everyone else chooses to jump down your throat, I totally get your frustration--and it DOES seem like a put down! If she would have said, "I know how you LOVE _______ chocolates so I saved these for you" it would have been a different story.

 

I have an x-SIL who is the world's worst regifter. She gave me Christmas presents that had her and her husband's name engraved on them! Sweaters with no tags and dirt around the collar. I could go on and on. Some may say "be grateful that you received anything". I would rather have gotten nothing, or a nice card, than something she scrounged around in her huge Victorian mansion to stick under the tree! And she gifts my kids the same way, on the odd occasion when she remembers them. It's a family joke now and we all get a good laugh out of it--she's worth millions and we know how she got that way!

[tercar]

I hope that the offer to leave some chocolate is not an alternative to paying a gratuity at the end.

 

I would be really P***ED at anyone who thought that a couple of bars of dairy milk is a deserving tip at the end of their cruise. Just one word. Schnorrers. I can't stand schnorrers.

 

Do you think that these "natives" leave their families thousands of miles behind and cleaning cabins for fun ? Just because they come from a land far far away where westerners are seen as the great oppressors of the modern world and they run about after you for 2 weeks, mopping up your dirty wet bathrooms, collecting your wet and soggy towels, folding your sweaty stained pajamas day in and day out, making your bed, changing your sheets, working very long hours with very little breaks. They probably want something a little more rewarding than a dodgy chocolate bar they could get at home. They want cash.

 

Unless you are Willy Wonka leave the chocolate alone.

 

By this has caused a long debate!!!!!!!! however let me tell you a little story.....I work with phillipinos and one day as we were chatting one of them told me she kept a picture of a chocolate bar and she said one day she would have that chocolate bar when she was rich, so chocolate is a luxury in some countries and one which most of them do without because there are more important things to spend their monies on. So therfore I think they would appreciate a treat. as well as their tips toooooooooooo.

[Andy]

To me it's not always about tips, it's often about treasured relationships.

 

Perfect comment Orator. I couldn't agree more. We are also fortunate to have wonderful memories & friendships with many of the Crew. It's always a joy to be reacquainted with a Crew member or Officer we've sailed with previously. It definitely adds to the enjoyment of our Cruise.

[dutchess43]

I think the staff loves our leftovers - for example I gave the remainder of the roll of soft toilet paper I brought on board with me to the guy that had to come to our cabin every day when our toilet would get all jammed up for some reason. He smiled and said thank you and looked so happy!:rolleyes:

 

 

No, seriously: give them cash and positive comments on the review form. That is what they really want and what they really need. If you want to really reward someone then in addition to cash write a personal note to management telling them about the great service the person gave you.

 

Thank you I had to clean my moniter with the toilet paper after I spit my drink at it.

[swsfrail]

OK, I understand that without some background it is difficult to see that I was offended - or maybe mortified is the better word - with the present of 2 small chocolates ;

This colleague was on same level as I was, but her husband was director in same company. She has always been very arrogant, looking down her nose at her colleagues, bragging about all the expensive things she bought, expensive travels, luxury hotels stayed in, etc. She would never give you the time of day, i.e. help you with something, or just be a nice person.

I absolutely did not expect nor want a present or souvenir from her, it was not the custom where we worked anyway.

This was just a big put-me-down ; giving me a little box with 2 chocolates that was on her pillow at night in one of the fancy hotels she went to. I looked like she just wanted to show off that she really was in this 6-star hotel. By-the-way, the chocolates were practically stale and the box completely crumpled, after her 6 week trip, seemed like she just found it at the bottom of her trunk and forgot to throw it out. And I complained because I did not have the courage to refuse it, felt like a dog that someone throws a bone to and still had to say thank you.

Just think how you would feel if someone brings you the free hotel soap as a souvenir present.

 

Well, perhaps she knows how low an opinion you have of her. I am sure you have shared your opinion to other colleagues and word may have gotten back to her. I wouldn't be surprised if the "gift" she presented to you was to show you what she thought of you in return. The word "Touche" comes to mind. :rolleyes:

 

I also find it interesting that even though you claim to be offended and insulted by this "gift", apparently you must have tasted the chocolates to determined that they were "almost stale". :p

[Tiggertastic]

We gave 2 bottles of wine to 2 staff on New Years Eve and they were very grateful and came to us the next day to say how much they had enjoyed them and even declared their hangovers!

 

Unfortunately one of them had to see us off the ship on disembarkation and be on duty at 6am to do so and we really felt it was our fault they had such bad heads

[MicCanberra]

Well even if everyone else chooses to jump down your throat, I totally get your frustration--and it DOES seem like a put down! If she would have said, "I know how you LOVE _______ chocolates so I saved these for you" it would have been a different story.

 

I have an x-SIL who is the world's worst regifter. She gave me Christmas presents that had her and her husband's name engraved on them! Sweaters with no tags and dirt around the collar. I could go on and on. Some may say "be grateful that you received anything". I would rather have gotten nothing, or a nice card, than something she scrounged around in her huge Victorian mansion to stick under the tree! And she gifts my kids the same way, on the odd occasion when she remembers them. It's a family joke now and we all get a good laugh out of it--she's worth millions and we know how she got that way!

 

I think my mother can top that. On one of the few occasions I have received something for my Birthday, I got a croosword book. It was all done in pencil so that I could rub it out and redo the puzzles, she had got it for $0.50 at a school fete. The Book -worthless, the story -Priceless.:D

[d4m]

Being Belgian we always put some chocolate in our suitcase to give to crew members or fellow passengers. People ask for it when you tell your from Belgium so it's nice to go back to the restaurant the next night and be able to give a box of chocolats.

 

I think there's something to say about fine Belgian chocolates & the way you present them to both passengers and crew. Big difference IMO between doing that as compared to Dove chocolates or something similar :D

[CathyCruises]

I think my mother can top that. On one of the few occasions I have received something for my Birthday, I got a croosword book. It was all done in pencil so that I could rub it out and redo the puzzles, she had got it for $0.50 at a school fete. The Book -worthless, the story -Priceless.:D

 

Oh my. You win! :eek: I'm so sorry!

[IheartNYC]

By this has caused a long debate!!!!!!!! however let me tell you a little story.....I work with phillipinos and one day as we were chatting one of them told me she kept a picture of a chocolate bar and she said one day she would have that chocolate bar when she was rich, so chocolate is a luxury in some countries and one which most of them do without because there are more important things to spend their monies on. So therfore I think they would appreciate a treat. as well as their tips toooooooooooo.

 

So perfectly true! What may be an insignificant thing to most of us is worth so, so, so much more to other people. These are, indeed, luxuries that most of them cannot afford/ or do not choose to indulge in :(

[Fixit2010]

If you are going to dish out chocolate, you could at least take some more expensive luxury brands. I think packets of biscuits (thats cookies) may be a suitable alternative to chocolate. Back in the 80s if you went to the USSR you would take huge amounts of exotic flavored gum and denim jeans to barter with.

[MicCanberra]

Oh my. You win! :eek: I'm so sorry!

I don't want to win like this though.:D

[debandbruce]

C'mon guys. I THINK what happened is that someone was given a cake at their dinner table for a birthday or anniversary celebration. They shared it with tablemates and then asked the waitstaff if they'd like to enjoy some too. I believe it was a polite gesture.

 

People on this board are VERY quick to criticize! What would you do if you had half of a large cake left on your table? Would you not offer it to someone?

 

No one is saying, contrary to some snarky comments here, that the staff was offered 'half eaten cake' instead of a gratuity!!!

 

Thank you Cathy for seeing the good in the gesture. Don't know who the OP was refering to but on our recent Silhouette cruise we were given a very large cake to celebrate my Aunt's birthday. We were dining in Blu and had become very fond of all the wait staff. After we had our pieces there was still 3/4 of the cake left. Being a Tiramisu cake it would not of kept well, we invited the staff to have a piece to share in the celebration. When we arrived in Blu the next morning we were met with many smiling faces and thanks. Our waiter said they split the rest of the cake with the rest of the Blu wait staff and they loved the treat as they don't get tiramisu often. At the end of our cruise as always we showed our appreciation with a little extra cash but do not find sharing a cake "totally absurd". We really liked our waitstaff and wanted to share something with them, would people rather see it go in the garbage?

[CathyCruises]

I think it's easy for people to hide behind their anonymity here--they say things they would NEVER say in person. And knowing only one or two lines about a situation, they make snap and often harsh judgments. I TRY not to do that and try to think what I would say to a poster if I was having a face to face conversation, but I'm sure I slip up too.

 

It must have been very hard to read this thread, knowing in your heart that you were only trying to do the right thing. :(

[wwcruisers]

Over the years, our room stewards (and other staff members) have been from such varied cultural backgrounds that I would never presume that they would share my personal tastes -- including my love of good chocolate. To reward great service, we give the staff great reviews on the comment cards, along with extra tips -- and usually a nice, hand-written thank you note. :cool:

[k9x8]

Just think how you would feel if someone brings you the free hotel soap as a souvenir present.

 

That's exactly what my MIL does. We even get the motel shower cap as a bonus. (She always springs for the cheapest accommodations.)

 

It helps to keep a sense of humor in such situations.

[debandbruce]

I think it's easy for people to hide behind their anonymity here--they say things they would NEVER say in person. And knowing only one or two lines about a situation, they make snap and often harsh judgments. I TRY not to do that and try to think what I would say to a poster if I was having a face to face conversation, but I'm sure I slip up too.

 

It must have been very hard to read this thread, knowing in your heart that you were only trying to do the right thing. :(

 

yes it was but I realize that the comments aren't thought out. We know that the staff appreciated the gesture. We celebrated on night 10 of 12 and had established a wonderful relationship with them. They were more than staff to us. I had a bad case of sun poisoning after our day in St Maarten which resulted in me having a very swollen face and eyes. The staff was so cocerned and offered remedies of sliced cucumbers and cold chamomile tea bags. They were all so caring and friendly, it was like that the whole cruise. In Blu the wait staff is like a team and even though you may have different waiters each evening the room is small and intimate and the staff always came by to say hi, how was your day? We wanted them to celebrate with us. The OP made it sound like we gave them a piece of half eaten cake.

[caladezi]

That's exactly what my MIL does. We even get the motel shower cap as a bonus. (She always springs for the cheapest accommodations.)

 

It helps to keep a sense of humor in such situations.

 

I love those hotel bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. I collect them and use them for guests staying at our home in Florida.

[Fixit2010]

I love those hotel bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. I collect them and use them for guests staying at our home in Florida.

 

That is a good idea, keep all the good toiletries for yourself and give your guests the free crap :D I like the way you think

[Happy Cruiser 6143]

That is a good idea, keep all the good toiletries for yourself and give your guests the free crap :D I like the way you think

 

I guess it depends on where you stay. Some hotels have lovely soaps and toiletries. Think it's a nice gesture to have small amounts available for guests who may have forgotten to bring their own.

[SRUTKO1226]

I was on a cruise to Canada/ New England and we had to tender. We got on with a crew member who ended up coming back with us. He had shopping bags with chips, cookies , all snackies. I thought give um snackies. Then I thought give um money so they can send the guy who can get out to get the snackies. I read that snacks can be bought onboard by crew members but they are expensive compared to super market in the states.

[CathyCruises]

I guess it depends on where you stay. Some hotels have lovely soaps and toiletries. Think it's a nice gesture to have small amounts available for guests who may have forgotten to bring their own.

 

We just stayed at a relative's home in London. She had a huge basket full of hotel toiletries that she collected on her travels, with a note attached that said "help yourself". I washed my hair with 'Bvlgari' shampoo and used Hermes conditioner; I had a ball going through the basket. I keep my extras handy for our travels and leave a stash at friends' homes I visit. There is nothing wrong with hotel goodies--beats the Costco brand I use at home (so I can afford more cruises!)

[MicCanberra]

We just stayed at a relative's home in London. She had a huge basket full of hotel toiletries that she collected on her travels, with a note attached that said "help yourself". I washed my hair with 'Bvlgari' shampoo and used Hermes conditioner; I had a ball going through the basket. I keep my extras handy for our travels and leave a stash at friends' homes I visit. There is nothing wrong with hotel goodies--beats the Costco brand I use at home (so I can afford more cruises!)

 

LOL, I wouldn't have thought that less soap equals more cruises, I am going to try it.:D