Why do people change after dinner on formal nights?

[sherilyn70]

Just wonder WHY folks don't wear formal clothes/shoes that are comfortable and fit correctly?

 

There is no such thing as a pair of comfortable heels in my book. Nor are there comfortable flats since they don't come with arch support or fleixble soles. I also don't find that sitting in a dress is comfortable since I much prefer to sit indian style. jeans or crops are far more comfortable and have more give to the fabric to move with me the way I want to move. I also do not like to wear jewelry so the earings and necklaces are the first things to go.

 

I agree there. I can't understand this assumption that formal clothing, or elegant clothing, is uncomfortable. I've seen so many women say stockings/pantyhose are uncomfortable. What on earth is uncomfortable about them? And if your formal dress makes you feel uncomfortable rather than beautiful it's the wrong dress. I am so looking forward to donning my long evening dresses, putting on glitzy earrings, paying extra attention to my make-up, and enjoying the feeling of a special evening. And I sure can't imagine feeling uncomfortable. Jeans are uncomfortable; a long floaty chiffon dress is anything but uncomfortable.

 

I hate hose, they are hot, itchy and constraining... you have to worry about snagging them so you have to be very careful. I used to always have problems with them getting snagged by a nail because I had an itch or me just walking into something (because I'm clumsy like that). I don't feel ugly in a dress (I think you're confusing the emotional and physical comfort)... I'm just not physcially as comfortable as I'd like to be. Wearing a dress changes how I have to sit and walk. Jeans to me are extremely comfortable, but then I wear jeans that are a knit fabric from Coldwater Creek and have a very nice fit.

[kitty9]

sherilyn, take a look at AGL shoes. They're expensive, but they'll last forever---they're handmade in Italy. I have deformed feet because of polio and they are the only shoes I can wear that are totally comfortable. They just came out with a pair of black flats with silver crystals on the toe box. They're lovely, very dressy and very comfortable. They have some really nice and dressy two inch heel AGL's that my sister claims are the most comfortable heels she's ever owned. And she has foot problems also.

[sherilyn70]

Yikes!! $300 for a pair of shoes I'll only wear once or twice? I'm sure they feel great but I'm not willing spend more than $35-50 for a pair of shoes I won't wear often. :)

[susie8862]

sherilyn, take a look at AGL shoes. They're expensive, but they'll last forever---they're handmade in Italy. I have deformed feet because of polio and they are the only shoes I can wear that are totally comfortable. They just came out with a pair of black flats with silver crystals on the toe box. They're lovely, very dressy and very comfortable. They have some really nice and dressy two inch heel AGL's that my sister claims are the most comfortable heels she's ever owned. And she has foot problems also.

Please allow me to Thank You Darcie for such valuable information. I have a co-worker with a problem and she may appreciate the suggestion.

[Beejay4016]

There is no such thing as a pair of comfortable heels in my book. Nor are there comfortable flats since they don't come with arch support or fleixble soles. I also don't find that sitting in a dress is comfortable since I much prefer to sit indian style. jeans or crops are far more comfortable and have more give to the fabric to move with me the way I want to move. I also do not like to wear jewelry so the earings and necklaces are the first things to go.

 

 

 

I hate hose, they are hot, itchy and constraining... you have to worry about snagging them so you have to be very careful. I used to always have problems with them getting snagged by a nail because I had an itch or me just walking into something (because I'm clumsy like that). I don't feel ugly in a dress (I think you're confusing the emotional and physical comfort)... I'm just not physcially as comfortable as I'd like to be. Wearing a dress changes how I have to sit and walk. Jeans to me are extremely comfortable, but then I wear jeans that are a knit fabric from Coldwater Creek and have a very nice fit.

 

So that's not a necklace we see around your neck in your photograph? Hm, you look very dressed up, and lovely, in that photo.

 

I still maintain, if a dress is uncomfortable it's the wrong dress. I am no skinny minny so I don't buy dresses which constrict. I can't imagine anything more uncomfortable than sitting cross-legged on the floor in a pair of jeans.

[sherilyn70]

So that's not a necklace we see around your neck in your photograph? Hm, you look very dressed up, and lovely, in that photo.

Yes it is... and it came off as soon as dinner was done. As I said, I do not like to wear jewelry. We changed into jeans as soon as we had wedding pictures and had eaten.

 

I still maintain, if a dress is uncomfortable it's the wrong dress. I am no skinny minny so I don't buy dresses which constrict. I can't imagine anything more uncomfortable than sitting cross-legged on the floor in a pair of jeans.

That's a personal preference. If you have hyper-extended joints like I do you will find it's hard to sit with your legs straight. Because I'm naturally extremely flexible I always have to twist and move around to keep my body comfortable. But who said anything about sitting on the floor cross legged? I do that in chairs or anywhere else I'm sitting. If they're not indian style then they're usually tucked under me to the left or right side. When I sleep i like to do so in childs pose (yoga term). I rarely keep my legs out straight.

[sherilyn70]

He figures if he goes through the trouble of tying his tie, he's going to wear it for more than an hour. :p

 

My husband doesn't ever tie the tie... we just keep it in it's knot and loosen it up to take it on and put it off. He doesn't wear a tie often enough to redo it (and we'd have to look it up every time we needed to do it again).

[kitty9]

Please allow me to Thank You Darcie for such valuable information. I have a co-worker with a problem and she may appreciate the suggestion.

 

You're very welcome. I know that those of us with major foot problems need to share information if we find things that work.

[Bookish Angel]

I'll see if they fit my quite small, narrow and flat feet. Not the best-looking shoes I have ever seen but if they fit properly, I can live with them for casual wear. Fortunately, I can return them if they don't work.

 

Thanks for the suggestion, Darcie!

 

I sometimes change after formal dinner so I can go to the pool or hot tubs.

[iheartbda]

..............

That's a personal preference. If you have hyper-extended joints like I do you will find it's hard to sit with your legs straight. Because I'm naturally extremely flexible I always have to twist and move around to keep my body comfortable. But who said anything about sitting on the floor cross legged? I do that in chairs or anywhere else I'm sitting. If they're not indian style then they're usually tucked under me to the left or right side. When I sleep i like to do so in childs pose (yoga term). I rarely keep my legs out straight.

 

This is a personal preference as well. I have hyperextended joints as well and have no problem sitting with my legs straight.

[calliopecruiser]

I never understand why it is acceptable to change into shorts, T shirt and flip flops on formal night as soon as dinner is over. To my way of thinking, you don't see much of a person at a dining room table. If he is wearing jeans or shorts it is hidden by the table.

 

But after dinner I see people in tux or gown sitting next to some guy with hairy legs and torn T shirt. Some people wear their oldest (maybe most comfortable) stuff in the theater, lounges and casino on formal nights and I just don't get it.

 

So many people on this board make a big deal over dress in the dining room but don't seem to care what anyone wears after dinner.

 

I would love to see an answer to this

 

Well, as you've seen, you'll never see AN answer, but you'll find several answers.......one size never fits all. Personally, I don't see why anyone makes a fuss over what other people are wearing at all, unless what they're wearing contains offensive language or imagery. I suspect most people who change do so because they are uncomfortable in their formal wear for one reason or another (too hot, too cold, too tight, too uncomfortable, too expensive to clean)......essentially the same reasons they don't wear formal wear every day, LOL.

[iheartbda]

Well, as you've seen, you'll never see AN answer, but you'll find several answers.......one size never fits all. Personally, I don't see why anyone makes a fuss over what other people are wearing at all, unless what they're wearing contains offensive language or imagery. I suspect most people who change do so because they are uncomfortable in their formal wear for one reason or another (too hot, too cold, too tight, too uncomfortable, too expensive to clean)......essentially the same reasons they don't wear formal wear every day, LOL.

 

I agree that there is no ONE answer however, people don't wear formal clothes everyday because they're just that, formal clothes.;):)

[GORDONCHICK]

I have comfy formal clothes, and my jeans are even more comfy. I laugh at those who think either are uncomfortable - mainly because if you wanted to find comfy formal clothes or jeans, you can - especially jeans. My jeans are almost as comfy as pajamas - and no, they aren't those pajama jeans!

 

My daily motto is "Life's too short to wear uncomfortable shoes", but that could go for articles of clothing as well. I'm less likely to spend a lot on formal wear because I have little to no need for it at home. Jeans, on the other hand, are what I live in from late November until spring, so I put more effort into finding comfy ones (for me, GAP 1969 bootcut).

[Laurie S.]

I have comfy formal clothes, and my jeans are even more comfy. I laugh at those who think either are uncomfortable - mainly because if you wanted to find comfy formal clothes or jeans, you can - especially jeans. My jeans are almost as comfy as pajamas - and no, they aren't those pajama jeans!

 

My daily motto is "Life's too short to wear uncomfortable shoes", but that could go for articles of clothing as well. I'm less likely to spend a lot on formal wear because I have little to no need for it at home. Jeans, on the other hand, are what I live in from late November until spring, so I put more effort into finding comfy ones (for me, GAP 1969 bootcut).

 

I fully agree! Jeans are very comfortable, if you get the right fit. I also wear them every day.

[kitty9]

I'll see if they fit my quite small, narrow and flat feet. Not the best-looking shoes I have ever seen but if they fit properly, I can live with them for casual wear. Fortunately, I can return them if they don't work.

 

Thanks for the suggestion, Darcie!

 

I sometimes change after formal dinner so I can go to the pool or hot tubs.

 

Oh, I think the AGL shoes are very pretty. You will love the softness of the leather and how they really mould to your feet. The pair that has the crystals on the toe box are very beautiful and very dressy.

[Milaandra]

I do like to stay dressed after dinner, unless my feet swell and start hurting in my shoes.

 

Yes! I can start off the evening in comfort, and after walking around the ship and standing around waiting for formal portraits my feet can really start to hurt! The same thing can happen with shapewear...if it's warm, shapewear makes me warmer and can rub against my skin. This is clothing we don't wear often, so things can happen unexpectedly, too...straps can dig in, underwires can poke and for those of us who are a bit soft and squishy, sitting for dinner can crease clothing in ways that in turn crease us! :eek:

 

I usually stay dressed, but sometimes you just really need to "slip into something more comfortable" after dinner.

 

In general, I think nice slacks are a better choice to change into than jeans if planning to enjoy the evening's entertainment on a more formal night. But once I even switched into jeans, socks and a sweater...we wanted a walk on an outdoor deck...too windy for chiffon/groomed hair and too chilly for exposed skin with a pashmina.

[Barb Nahoumi]

NCL has dropped its formal night in favor of "Dress up or Not Night."

 

Pax can choose between dressy or the ever acceptable resort casual.

 

I think that cruiselines are getting away from requiring formalwear, because of airline baggage constraints.

[iheartbda]

NCL has dropped its formal night in favor of "Dress up or Not Night."

 

Pax can choose between dressy or the ever acceptable resort casual.

 

I think that cruiselines are getting away from requiring formalwear, because of airline baggage constraints.

I've seen people push down even the resort casual.

My guess is the crew is tired of trying to enforce any dress code plus, it seems like society as a whole dresses casually most everywhere these days.

[sherilyn70]

I've seen people push down even the resort casual.

My guess is the crew is tired of trying to enforce any dress code plus, it seems like society as a whole dresses casually most everywhere these days.

 

This is true... the guy the owns the Brazilian steakhouse I went to the other night turned out to be only 33! He was telling me how he doesn't like stuffy or formal and encourages people to come in in jeans and shorts. He was telling us about how he never wears a suit when running his restaurants (he owns 11 total) and has worn shorts and a tshirt to many higher end restaurants.

[2910car]

I think if people are uncomfortable in whatever thy shouldn't wear it. Life is too short. However, you can still dress "formally" in a nice pair of slacks an a dressy top. I have done this on long cruises. I just bring black slacks and a few glittery tops. That way I can wear flat shoes and they look fine.

 

I don't mind people wearing jeans and a nice top - but why must men change into plaid shorts and a tee shirt and sandals and then sit next to me in the showroom. I don't think they would go to a Broadway show dressed that way.

 

By the way, we do sail on NCL sometimes and like the no dress policy. But my husband still wears slacks and a nice shirt, which is the way he would go to a nice restaurant back home.

[MrsPete]

I never understand why it is acceptable to change into shorts, T shirt and flip flops on formal night as soon as dinner is over. To my way of thinking, you don't see much of a person at a dining room table. If he is wearing jeans or shorts it is hidden by the table.

 

But after dinner I see people in tux or gown sitting next to some guy with hairy legs and torn T shirt. Some people wear their oldest (maybe most comfortable) stuff in the theater, lounges and casino on formal nights and I just don't get it.

 

So many people on this board make a big deal over dress in the dining room but don't seem to care what anyone wears after dinner.

 

I would love to see an answer to this

First, exaggeration doesn't help your point. I've never personally observed a cruiser wearing a torn tee-shirt.

 

 

Several people -- all ladies, I assume -- have complained about uncomfortable shoes. This excuse really doesn't hold water if you're talking about attending the show. You're going to walk in and sit down; if you're going dancing, that's a different story. Also, the choice isn't tennis shoes OR 4" heels. A nice 1" wedge still looks dressy, and if -- like me -- you've reached the age that you need a more supportive easy-to-walk-in shoe, a lower heel is a very reasonable, yet still dressy, choice.

 

 

I also side with the people who say that any item of clothing can be comfortable -- if it's well-fitted. I love to wear jeans, but every pair I try on isn't comfortable. I have to look 'til I find the pair that fits best. Likewise, all formals won't suit me and fit well.

 

Regardless, I think the real answer is that our society has decided -- by and large -- that we don't value dressing nicely. Oh, we like to look at people who are dressed up (i.e., celebrities going to the Oscars), but we don't tend to do it ourselves. I wonder how much of this is tied to our society's ever-largening waistlines; that's one of the biggest things that keeps clothing from fitting well and feeling good. The whole thing is rather out of sync with some of our other changing values. We expect more, more, more when it comes to accomodations, food, cars, entertainment . . . but we expect less, less, less when it comes to dressing nicely.

[kelbre]

I still need to find out how many formal nights for our 10 night princess caribbean cruise. I am thinking 2 or 3? My formal will be a simple blk dress with pretty jewellery and hubby will wear a nice shirt & dress pants. NOt sure what my other formal will be, heck maybe just do 1 night. I don't always change after formal night but depends on what we are doing. I am pretty sure my 14 y/o daughter will change out of her fancy dress and put shorts & t shirt to hang back out with her friends.

 

I do love to dress up though, for me that's half the fun of packing and picking out the outfits. I do plan a couple of nights of just wearing my comfy but nice looking capris to the buffet or pizza.

it doesn't really bother me what other people wear, as long as they are neat & tidy. Oh, about heels, I am definitely going to be very careful with those as I am a little klutzy!!! I slipped on some wet stairs in Mexico in march wearing my daughters fav flip flops (which one of them I ended up breaking in half) and I sprained all the ligaments on the top of my foot. so i will be careful around wet stairs and wearing heels lol!!!!

[calliopecruiser]

Regardless, I think the real answer is that our society has decided -- by and large -- that we don't value dressing nicely. Oh, we like to look at people who are dressed up (i.e., celebrities going to the Oscars), but we don't tend to do it ourselves. I wonder how much of this is tied to our society's ever-largening waistlines; that's one of the biggest things that keeps clothing from fitting well and feeling good. The whole thing is rather out of sync with some of our other changing values. We expect more, more, more when it comes to accomodations, food, cars, entertainment . . . but we expect less, less, less when it comes to dressing nicely.

 

No, I think our society has decided - by and large - that we don't value dressing formally and expensively. That's not the same as not valuing dressing "nicely". One can be very nicely dressed in casual or even "cocktail" clothing, but dressing for a formal night is very different. A summer sundress and beaded ballet flats is dressing nicely, but it's not dressing formally for dinner, for instance. Society has also come to realize - thankfully - that clothing does not make the man: status, value, and personality is not determined by what one wears and, as a result, one does not need to dress in a limited ways in order to demonstrate those things to others.

 

Yes, not having an off-the-rack body does make clothes ill fitting and uncomfortable (unless you have a lot of money to spend on a good tailor), but that's not just about "our society's ever-largening waistlines". Those "every largening waistlines" get a lot of press, but it also applies to those who have longer than average legs, larger than fashionable bustlines, shorter than average arms, or wider than average feet, etc. Shape is far more a factor than size......a large waistline is easy to deal with, LOL. If that was what kept me from fitting well into off-the-rack clothes, I'd be grateful.

[Bookish Angel]

It also isn't just about larger sizes, either. Us smaller than average gals have fitting problems, too. I find that all dress shoes, even $500 and above pairs, eventually feel awful on my small, narrow and flat feet. I just ordered $1500 worth of shoes and they all have to be returned because they are too big despite being my regular size and therefore uncomfortable. I will have to have handmade shoes to get any kind of good fit!

 

I also am glad that society's rules about clothing are changing. I prefer to be judged on my good qualities and outlook on life over clothing I can put on and remove at will. Frankly, I studiously avoid people who give better service or treatment to the better dressed, better connected, etc. and will deal only with mature, thoughtful people who treat all persons, regardless of dress, with respect.

[iheartbda]

Sure, but outward appearance is more than just your clothing choice. That's the point that everyone seems to forget......outward appearance includes things such as whether someone is fidgety or ill-groomed, whether someone makes eye contact or smiles, whether someone stands tall or slouches......body language speaks louder than clothing choices. And while dressy clothes might help someone portray good body language by making them feel attractive and proud, it also might not.......A formal outfit that doesn't fit well or isn't comfortable doesn't make a good impression, for instance, whereas a well fitting outfit that make the wearer feel good will make a better impression.

I didn't say anything about clothes.:)

But, as long as we're talking clothes.......check the red.;)

 

Somehow, this thread morphed into one of the Dress to Impress threads.:D