Is it just me?

[JosieCat-MN]

I’m not trying to start anything – I’m just curious if I’m the only one who feels this way. I just took a 3 night cruise on Enchantment this past weekend, and had a few uncomfortable and awkward situations. Maybe I’m just used to being anonymous in Las Vegas, and quite frankly prefer it.

 

My stateroom attendant stopped by to introduce himself, gave me his card, asked the story of my life, etc. From then on – EVERY time he saw me, it would be “Joooosssssssiiiiieeeee, how are you doing. How is your day going, etc., etc.”, and then seemed to expect me to stop and chat. When I would just say “great, thanks” and keep going, I’d get the “Josie, always so much in a hurry”, like I was being rude. What exactly is the normal relationship between a passenger and a stateroom attendant? I appreciate what they do, and tip accordingly, but don’t want to chat with them every time I see them – or develop a personal relationship with them. It got to the point that I start peeking around corners and outside my door to avoid this.

 

I encountered a similar situation at the Windjammer. I got in from Atlantis at 3:00, and was starving. I grabbed some food and sat down, and proceeded to get bombarded with the staff stopping by to chat. 3 of them, no less, and one of them came back twice. It’s very awkward. Do I keep eating, should I stop eating? It’s pretty hard to eat and answer questions at the same time (where are you from, how is the cruise going). I know they are trying to offer good customer service, but they seem to be going a little overboard, IMO. I took to eating at the Park Café after that and if I ate at the Windjammer, I choose the counters overlooking the water.

 

Again, I’m not trying to start something – just curious if I’m the only one who doesn’t need or want this kind of personal attention – and how to politely discourage it.

[Angele000]

I know some people like to keep to themselves my bf included but this IS part of the whole cruise experience I am surprised you aren't familiar with that. A lot of people enjoy that it makes them feel like they are actually a person vs. a walking mound of money. Would you be upset if they walked by you every time without saying hi or smiling? You asked if it was just you in this case.. I am going to say yes... sorry! Nothing against you but most people enjoy this. Just smile and nod say hello and keep walking usually they will get the point you aren't the social butterfly that others may be.

[Charger2008]

We rather enjoy when they remember our names and chat with us. There is one waiter on the Freedom (Mr. So Nice, So Nice - spoken with a Jamaican accent) who remembered us from a previous cruise on the Freedom. We were out by the pool on the firt day when we hear "Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, welcome back, so nice, so nice . . . " He always made us smile :p

[trev71]

Some are probably just more social than others.. Our guy who we had last time was a bit more social but he was nice, he would make small talk and then would be on our way... I try to relax when I am cruising.. Nobody normally bugs me when I am eating

[DonnaK]

I enjoy when they are social. It's all part of the cruising experience. However, what you described does seem to cross the line into intrusiveness rather than merely being social and friendly.

[cb at sea]

I agree with you...I appreciate what they do, just like I appreciate any housekeeping staff in a hotel....but I don't need to chat all the time!

 

Our best attendant was one we NEVER saw! Still don't know if it was a man or woman, but the cabin was immaculate and the person making it immaculate was invisible....fine by me!

[krewzin]

It's not you; they're trying to be nice, but going a little bit beyond the norm. If you're eating I think it's ok for them to ask "how is your day going?" and then take-off. For them to stay and chat while you're trying to continue eating can be very awkward, and I would continue to eat and answer with my mouth full...."yeth, I dethided to head to the thrtaw markeths to find thome thouveneerths..."

 

Hopefully they get the hint.:D

 

As far as the cabin steward, I'm not one to stop and have a chat... I'd continue to respond with a cheerful answer and then head on my way.

[mommabean]

Many people like it. And most stateroom attendants who initiate this kind of talk are just as good at backing off if you aren't interested. Obviously OP's was the exception.

 

I have very rarely had anyone stop to initiate conversation in the WJ.

 

If you act interested, they might continue talking. If you are detached, they move on most of the time.

 

They are on the ship all the time with mostly the same crew day to day. We are their entertainment to a degree. But it's not a requirement.

 

I did have one that continued talking as I walked down the hall. I mean WAY down the hall. I know someone around here who had the exact same experience on the same ship with the same stateroom attendant. That is definitely not the norm.

 

Gina

[ChipLondon]

Always easy to say " Thank you for stopping by, but can I talk to you after I have finished eating" :D

 

...................I encountered a similar situation at the Windjammer. I got in from Atlantis at 3:00, and was starving. I grabbed some food and sat down, and proceeded to get bombarded with the staff stopping by to chat. 3 of them, no less, and one of them came back twice. It’s very awkward. Do I keep eating, should I stop eating? It’s pretty hard to eat and answer questions at the same time

................Again, I’m not trying to start something – just curious if I’m the only one who doesn’t need or want this kind of personal attention – and how to politely discourage it.

[Robkat]

It's not just you at all. We like to have a pleasant, friendly relationship with our steward ... Not become buddies. As someone already pointed out, some of our best stewards were the ones that we rarely saw.

And,as for servers in the WJ or any other place for that matter, we'd hope that they would have been trained properly to detect if people prefer to be helped and then left alone. Theres no problem having conversations with the customers IF the customer seems amenable to it, but otherwise, exchanged pleasantries should be the norm.

How to deal with the problem if it starts up ... As everyone's said, be pleasant and courteous, and then either move on or make it obvious that you're not in the "stopping and chatting" mood.

On the same subject, here's another pet peeve ... you've just been served your lovely and delectable looking dinner, and the server (or the maître d, or the dining room manager) stops by to ask how everything is ... And then settles in for a little gabfest! Inappropriate! OK, glad that's off my chest!

[OKC Cruisers]

Nope, not just you. I don't mind my room steward introducing themselves and using my name when we pass in the hallway. I don't mind the waiters asking me how I'm doing or if I am finding everything okay, just don't want to strike up a conversation while I am sitting down and eating.

 

Oh, and another thing, while I am eating in the Main Dining Room, I just want to be served a good meal and focus on that, I don't want to hear the entire wait staff singing some tired rendition of a song and have all the other guests swinging their napkins around. But, maybe that's just me!

 

Pete

[Cheerysmom]

 

 

I think it's a bit weird and American.

 

 

Huh? That is a very strange comment . .. .

[hazeleyez3]

Its not just you. I don't mind the "how are you", "good evening" a smile and/or nod...thats about it.

 

 

I know some people like to keep to themselves my bf included but this IS part of the whole cruise experience I am surprised you aren't familiar with that. A lot of people enjoy that it makes them feel like they are actually a person vs. a walking mound of money. Would you be upset if they walked by you every time without saying hi or smiling? You asked if it was just you in this case.. I am going to say yes... sorry! Nothing against you but most people enjoy this. Just smile and nod say hello and keep walking usually they will get the point you aren't the social butterfly that others may be.

 

Actually, just because it happens doesn't mean that people enjoy it. Its just like pre-MTD. The rule for many years was, if you want to eat in the MDR, you'd most likely have to eat with strangers. It didn't necessarily mean that people wanted to dine with others - it just meant they "bit the bullet" because they wanted to eat in the dining room.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't care if they just passed me by w/o smiling or saying hi. If you think about it, it happens every day of your life. A person will walk by you, not say hi or smile, and head to work. Even if they know you they might not stop to tell you about their son's little league team.

 

You'll find it in the hospitality industry as well. You may see a bellboy or waitress walk by you w/o acknowleding you because they aren't thinking about making idle chit chat.

 

Doesn't have anything to do with being a social butterfly. :)

[ryano]

Wow! Cruise line employees being TOO friendly! That may be a first time complaint here at Cruise Critic LOL! I will have to go search I guess.

 

If it bothered me that much, Id probably choose a different vacation.;)

[VegasChic]

This happened to me with the room service attendant. She wouldn't leave the room and kept trying to make conversation with my daughter :confused:. I was highly annoyed and the funny thing is she was the one to always deliver room service:eek: I'm not trying to be rude at all but I was always in a hurry and 20 minutes to chat with room service would make me late to something. Anyhow, she was quite nice!

[Angele000]

There seems to be a grouping being formed here... there are two sides.. One is you cruise to enjoy time by yourself/ with family. The other grouping likes the social part... When I stated the social butterfly part it's because if you look at all of the events Cruises put on they are mostly geared to be doing things in large groups, MDR, group activites, even the shore tours you are in a group.. so my thinking if you don't want that much social interaction which is fine each to their own why pick a cruise where you are paying for this experince? You can go to a lot of those places on your own with enough research for probably the same cost. Or at least why pick a cruise such as Allure where there are 6000 people on it.

[mommabean]

Huh? That is a very strange comment . .. .

 

I find it especially strange since some of the most sociable, friendly, and outgoing people I've come across are in Scotland and Ireland. ;)

 

Gina

[Moondawgie]

Wow, some people are a tough crowd. They are people. They are away from home. If they try to chat while they are doing very difficult jobs to please people, sobeit. I personally love to interact with everyone on a cruise - passengers and staff.

 

I realize some people are more private than others, but really. Does it really bother you that much to chat a bit? I agree that cruises are like that - friendly, laid back.

 

I guess I just don't get the point.:rolleyes:

[JosieCat-MN]

Wow! Cruise line employees being TOO friendly! That may be a first time complaint here at Cruise Critic LOL! I will have to go search I guess.

 

If it bothered me that much, Id probably choose a different vacation.;)

 

Well, then I guess you should be happy that I introduced a new topic instead of one that's been discussed too much :)

[VegasChic]

This happened to me with the room service attendant. She wouldn't leave the room and kept trying to make conversation with my daughter :confused:. I was highly annoyed and the funny thing is she was the one to always deliver room service:eek: I'm not trying to be rude at all but I was always in a hurry and 20 minutes to chat with room service would make me late to something. Anyhow, she was quite nice!

 

I'm going to elaborate more on this and I'm aware some of these comments are not geared toward me directly but I feel I need to explain. I've had many conversations with the crew and am a very social person when I see fit!! I had a 30 minute conversation with a waiter at Giovanni's during dinner (it was a slow night) in turn, I was late to the oceanaria show and all the seats were taken. I had a three hour dinner at Chops chatting with the waiter again and then with two other couples but when I'm inside my cabin trying to get dressed for the evening and have to stop and have a 20 minute conversation with my husband walking around in a towel its not me being unfriendly or unsocial it's just bad timing.

[sailingawaysoon]

We enjoy our stateroom attendant talking to us and getting to know us. We've never had a problem with them chatting for a few extra minutes. I guess that's how we are in our everyday life, social and like saying hello to others and striking up conversation. I'm with the other poster though on the issue of when your meal is served and then you have dining room personnel stop by asking you "how everything is" while you have a mouthfull of food! Happy cruising everyone!

[cruzincurt]

Silly, but perhaps you are very good looking?:eek: Seems they are attracted to you for some reason.

[Langley Cruisers]

My husband is like you, not a chatter, wants to say hello and keep on moving. :) He particularly dislikes chatty cashiers. I, on the other hand, can and do chat if I feel like it and can do so for the entire length of the transaction. hehe

 

Have never had a "too-friendly" cabin steward or other cruise staff employee, but I certainly don't doubt that they do exist. If you don't like it, you don't like it; nothing wrong with that, and I'm sure there are polite and appropriate ways to "shut them down" if necessary. :)

[JosieCat-MN]

Silly, but perhaps you are very good looking?:eek: Seems they are attracted to you for some reason.

 

This is my FAVORITE response. No in my younger days I could turn a few heads, but a slightly overweight 50 year old isn't going to draw that kind of a crowd. :)

 

 

Thanks for all of the responses.

 

I think cruises should be for all types of people, not just the social butterflies. I go because I really enjoy being at sea, and no I don't generally get involved in the social activities, but I don't think that means I shouldn't be allowed to go on cruises.

 

Not all of us are comfortable being that social. If it happens naturally, then great. At the hotel I was staying at pre-cruise, a woman working there commented on my tattoo (kitty paws) - we shared a love of animals and had a nice chat about our love of them.

 

On my first cruise, I was up on the deck with my early morning coffee, and spent an hour chatting with 2 other women. But again, it happened naturally.

 

But often, with some of the staff, it feels a bit forced, and just makes me uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up cruising - nor should I have to.

[WetToes]

I don't need or want it either. I'd do what you did, acknowledge and keep moving. Although I'm not quite sure how I'd handle the intrusion at meals.