.......idle jottings

[ho-hum]

That's exactly what I was thinking!

 

Looking forward to future installments. Plenty of smiles and laughter already received.

 

May, that's kind ...... but there's still a chance for you !

 

Get out now before it's too late !

 

You'll find yourself, in say, a grocery line, you will recall a line from the "jottings", your shoulders will gently rise up, a frown, then a smile then a laugh will break out, you will grab your chest, clutching it for dear life to control the laughter.

People will begin to stare in horror, back away, security will be called.....

 

And when you finally wake up in Ward 212 (Psycho Ward)

You will see dozens of other victims all around and two doctors standing over you shaking their heads saying "this is the worst out-break since the Humitis outbreak of 2010. Humitis is resistant to all the drugs, antibiotics around"

 

People are literally dying of laughter.

 

Whatever you do put that copy of ".....idle jottings" down.

 

And go about your normal life.......

 

Sshhh.....not another word........ at least you will be safe.........for a little while !!!!

Until the next review section in abooot (as Kathy would say), abooot 12 hours from now.

Can you wait that long ?

1-2-3-4-3-2-6-4-7-8-12 long, long, looong hours.

You will be at a stage of both desperation and exhaustion.

Heck you will laugh at anything.

And then he will come..........The Hump !!

[ho-hum]

Hum, are you kidding me? I'm absolutely love love loving this review, warts n, all. I don't want it to end. There is nothing quite like this 'out there' written about sea dream. Highlight of my morning is waking up and seeing a new installment. Yes, it's been a drag waiting for it, and a big tease, but it's happening and I'm thrilled. So thank you for taking the time.

 

Now just have to figure out how I get the champagne, not the sparkling, when I do finally board.....perhaps say I'm allergic?

 

Cheers, Millie

 

Did you just say "warts" young lady ?

Well really !!!

And we were gettin' on so well too.

 

No need to make an excuse about gettin' champers, darling.

Just whisper "Hum's Chum"..... might also get you thrown of the jolly old vessel too !

No, that'll do it, to be sure.

Opens doors everywhere ...... mainly exits !!!

 

And finally, finally someone appreciates, it does take time......and Hum is on his hols.

No, not a "rehab clinic" again or having liposuction (again) or having his weave re-planted (again).

Jim you gotta stop those rumours !!!!

 

 

Yes Jim, I agree, Hum's review is worthy of a booker prize.....well almost. Payment for sure in one way or another. I just hope both sea dream and esprit read his review and actually take notice. It's in their best interests to do so. Especially Sea Dream who obviously know Hum and perhaps have heard a lot of the gripes before. Simple fixes to most for sure. Perhaps now that there is worthy competition it may be that they finally sit up and listen to him....and others.

 

Cheers, Millie

 

Oh Millie, Millie, Millie,

 

"Out of the mouth of babes"

"Out of the mouth of babes"

 

So innocent in this world.

Sea Dream have known Hum's views for years, darling !!!!!

 

But please everybody, it is just one man's opinion (a very disturbed man too).

Hum's not God !

Yes there are similarities, naturally........

 

But Sea Dream shoreside management know one thing about Hum ............ his darkest, darkest secret........ which they exploit mercilessly....

[MillieRyan08]

Oh Millie, Millie, Millie,

 

"Out of the mouth of babes"

"Out of the mouth of babes"

 

So innocent in this world.

Sea Dream have known Hum's views for years, darling !!!!!

 

But please everybody, it is just one man's opinion (a very disturbed man too).

Hum's not God !

Yes there are similarities, naturally........

 

But Sea Dream shoreside management know one thing about Hum ............ his darkest, darkest secret........ which they exploit mercilessly....

 

And that is exactly why I'm enjoying this review. Not to find out about Hum's darkest, darkest secret, although that would be icing on the yummy cake, but to get a real insiders knowledge of life on board these luxurious vessels. And Hum, without taking the 'pist', from what I have read so far........ I like and respect your opinion.

 

Oops, think I'm now done here...

 

Cheers, Millie

[kathyanddanny]

God! Oh! Sorry...Ho Hum!...haha!

 

Will be oot and aboot looking for fish bait. Hope the next installment will be ready when I get back!? Takes so long traipsing across the cold tundra! Ha!

We had a bit of an ice storm last night...time to sharpen the cheese cutters! :D

[ho-hum]

God! Oh! Sorry...Ho Hum!...haha!

 

Will be oot and aboot looking for fish bait. Hope the next installment will be ready when I get back!? Takes so long traipsing across the cold tundra! Ha!

We had a bit of an ice storm last night...time to sharpen the cheese cutters! :D

 

It'll be sitting there on the iPad by the time you return darling !

Dont fall thro' the ice !

Nice photo of you Danny but you got a little smudge on your chin....yes just there...well all over actually.

Haha

[ho-hum]

Crystal Esprit. 4: Vessel

 

OK, we are now approaching the really serious stuff and as such the scoring level has shot right up, from 15 (Shoreside Management), 10 (Boarding & Disembarkation) to a massive 25 !!

Shall we get on with it.....then follow Hum, if you please.

No after you.

 

VESSEL

 

- SDI & SDII are classic beauties. They look lovely in the waters anywhere in the world they sail. Passengers from "big ships" look down from their open prison cells (oh they're balconies, sorry) onto the languid life style of the "lotus eaters" in gay abandon below (abandon, abandon they cry). The appearance is due to a most brilliant upgrade and conversion when transformed from former elitist Sea Goddesses (yachts) to the classic styled Sea Dreams (yachts) of today in their smart, chipper, navy blue hulls (dont you know). A wonder of creation and design although you dont need to look too carefully to see that EVERY expense was spared on refinements but still it is a beauty and a wonderful conversion. HATS OFF to you Atle !

 

- Crystal on the other hand has had "money thrown at it" but externally the cosmetic surgery is just plain awful: not attractive in the least, especially atop. No peaks you see just a crudish "crew cut". People looking at it wonder "what the heck happened there ?". Hum speaks as a designer (sorry, former designer). Aesthetics are "tres importante". Here on the Espirit it has been designed by very talented, interior designers working with an un-inspired marine engineer (probably Norwegian. God they are sooo dull) liaising with the Crystal corporate guys who have never even seen a ship, let alone gone see and it shows. They "think" floating sky-scrapers......err laid flat...on water !

 

- the interiors of SDI & II are classic style and have not changed except for partial, recent, re-carpeting with grotesque "1950 German Expressionist" grey, style patterns resembling bolts being strewn over an industrial floor higgledy-piggledy (more piggledy than higgledy though looked at from another way, more higgledy. Hum can go on like this all day and you know it). The SD, Main Salon furnishing upgrade is a disaster both in colours adopted and quality of replacements (like a sparrow, cheep, cheep, cheep) but Hum seems solitary in his passion for the 1970's, "Saturday Night Fever" style and layout. Even the unfortunate steps that have lead many to trip and which causes Hum suck wicked amusement except when he himself has been a victim; then he turns round in shock at the offending steps so stupidly arranged and tries to deflect embarrassment from himself as he dabs off the champagne which invariably empties its contents down Hum's crotch area causing bystanders to wonder whether the "splash" was caused by the external champagne spill or was the "spill" caused from inside out ! (Both actually !)

 

- so all in all, Hum loves SDs interiors except the main raised open dining area but it does have outside dining for the favoured or brave few depending on weather conditions. Finishing your soup in gale conditions with rain piling in can take a merry old time. Now some dont like seeing small cranes and the propellers and paraphernalia of tender bottoms on deck 4 (no, not human "tender" bottoms: lifeboat bottoms that are used as tenders in ordinary circumstances taking passengers to and from visiting ports). It is like dining in a hip, Berlin, industrial art complex.....cool man. You expect Andy Warhol to come from behind one of the pieces (no s******ing now: if you cant behave like grown ups then you had better leave now. Final warning).

 

- We had earlier been asked to move from our original cabin because of a problem with air-conditioning. We were asked to move nearly a week prior to embarkation. We guess either it is a serious problem or they have not got a part to fix the problem or they are just ruddy lazy. On boarding we are told the laundry for guests is not available either and so all laundry is complimentary ! Whoopeee ! Our laundry is returned within 5 hours within protective cases. Amazing turn around. Oh we were asked originally to have a cabin under the Laundry Room ! No Ruddy way matey boy ! Dont want to hear anyones clothes on repetitive spin cycle (impressed Hum knows the terms ?). So there are early faults with the vessel. There are always "running repairs" on vessels as well as upgrades but maybe you don't expect so many so soon on CE or maybe the wise ones amongst would say, we expect precisely that Hum. OK you smug clever clogs.

 

- The facilities onboard with various restaurant areas, bars, dining areas and wonderful outside spaces including a large tv over a tiny outside pool on the top deck are amazing

 

- Wonderful array of hip seating areas and fairly comfortable loungers with bars about the place in intimate areas are amazing too. Later it buckets down but no one bothers to remove cushions thus they become soaked and leech out dampness on un-suspecting bottoms some time later but Hum really enjoys the myriad number of seats and sofas that abound around the top deck which are far better than SDs offerings of more dated metal framed loungers and whicker worked chairs and two "L" shaped bench seats but at least the boys on SD remove the bally cushions unlike the gormless, by-standing crew on CE (annoys the bally life out of Hum but you've obviously noticed anything can Hum. Miserable old curmudgeon !).

 

- we love to eat outside, morning, noon and night as we do on SD: its not available here in the evening. A big black mark against CE for that ! Though we did once. A couple we met onboard and were SDers insisted on it. It was great-ish.

 

- Hum loves the original art pieces that abound SD. Yes most will not be given a second glance or they would be dismissed as stupid but to Hum they demonstrate some thought, quite a bit of discernment and one or two pieces give Hum enormous pleasure except for the bizarre flowering, plastic orbs in large pots in the Main Salon. Hum wants to set them alight but responsibility always intervenes (it does sometimes, you know, well that and being thrown of the ship). On CE, art pieces are selected and positioned by hip interior designers, mostly chosen not to offend. Thus under Hum's distinctive and superior gaze, they do precisely that. Offend (that is). Not (all) the lithographs in the corridors however. Though the four different sized, antiquey golden painted spheres with a ribbed surface pattern radiating from the centre on the wall opposite Hum's cabin's bed (where he spends an awful lotta time: lazy old baggar), give Hum some pleasure, especially in their non-regular hanging and the way some lap over one another. Hum ponders (for quite some time actually: well the bed's so comfy you see) how he would arrange them differently. But no, these are finely arranged. If they were set higher then they would be too much tension. Set generally lower, as they are, they give a relaxed and settled feel. But after a week Hum tires of them anyway, hood-winked by the "distressed look" commonly adopted in to-day's mass market, brash styling of uber-duber, second rate, Danish design (mostly). Oh the Danes think they're so "it" don't they ? Lousy beer too ! Oh we love your "Fawlty Towers". Course you do, no one has had a laugh in Denmark since the series ended in 1981. Girls are pretty though. Oh mighty fine lookin' ladies. Hum loves the ladies. Yes dear, coming........

 

- oh Hum hates "art in the style of" ! Just go to art colleges and buy first or second year art. Hum did and still he gains so much enjoyment from them. But here the works must be bland in the main. The sculptured pieces are altogether better. Those smug people who say their 4 year old could "do that" are those that are rebuked the most by Hum without pity. Mercilessly cut down by barbed words that have been known to cause convulsions of pure repugnance. Such as "then get your brat to ruddy well "do it". You might earn a fortune. But Hum's guessing any "fruit from your loins" would find it challenging to tie their own shoelaces !" Not very nice Hum. Sorry. But Hum's just a passionate guy. Yes Hum has rubbished some of the art but not the sculptures.

 

- Soft furnishngs, carpeting and furniture are excllent (on CE) and combine mostly "fit for purpose" criteria. Excellent job. SD furnishings need up-grading yet they remain in a comfortable "if you like that kind if thing" category with some shocking carpet replacements to areas, used simply 'cos they had some left over. Hum kids you not. Yes they are very cheap at times (yes Hum can spell it correctly. The "cheep, cheep" bit was a play on words. A play on words. Why does Hum bother ?).

 

- when the weather is not so good for eating outside Hum loves the SD dining room. A beautiful classic room with patterned golden coloured, embroidered seats (sadly needing "re-stuffing" though: no not just where Hum sits ! Cheeky. ) and wins over the more modern dining area on CE by a very short head though tables are nicely arranged but are a tad closer than on SD. Even there fellow guests still try to move their tables as far from Hum as possible. Giving Hum more space and privacy, no doubt. No, you dont think ...... thats not nice ! But it would explain the dishes being thrown down on Hum's table.

 

- as Hum said before, Hum loves the Main Salon on SD despite the noisy bar area and the "naughty" steps. The CE main lounge on the other hand, resembles a large country house with huge sofas and armchairs. The only thing missing is a blazing fire and a pair of Irish wolf-hounds strolling about the place (no, not sniffing crotches ! What's got into you ? If you are going to be like this, go home now). The elegant, long bar at the back has a row of sturdy, blue leather covered, bar stools but the bar seems sparsely stocked compared to SD: one of the most iconic bars in the world (the TOYB). Beautifully hand made from hardwood in a bell shape. You imagine Ernest, Jean-Paul, Jim sitting round, the gentle swirl of a Cuban floating above you. The Main Salon on the CE incorporates a huge tv discreetly concealed to show movies and big sporting events like the SuperBowl (yawn, yeah but some guys love it. "Roll Tide"). Manoeuvring along the bar is impossible due to too close siting of Main Salon sofas. They could be nudged forward a foot but no one bothers. There is an awful lot of no one bothering here.

-

- oh what's that !!! It's only 8.00 am in the morning and the Captain is babbling away in the corridor outside on speakers. Yes its muffled but bally intrusive. Stop it man ! The Captain announcements on SD are very sparse and thankfully brief and above all totally in-comprehnsible due to their heavy Scandinavian accents and the opinion that nobody really wants to hear him anyway (all of which is true). Of course if you do want to hear him, then it is infuriating of course. But as nobody can discern "Abandon Ship" or "Iceberg ! Iceberg !" or other such phrasing then everybody generally ignores the muffled mutterings. Not so on CE. The Captain seems earnest in delivering information to eager passengers (not Hum of course). He goes on and on with seeming increasing vigour. But finally it ends. There is a God. Oh and even more regularly is the banal, bored mutterings of someone or other telling you what has been postponed, yet again and then it is bally well repeated. SDs announcements are fine and often with restrained zest and the lightest of humour (we are just entering the virgina penisula).

 

- the CE moves about quite a bit even in the faintest of swells. You would'nt take this on a transatlantic ! Hum would send his mother-in-law though ! Here's hoping. Even the seas in the Med, where it is destined for the Summer season, could throw a few surprises. Now Hum is going to be very honest with you. If you suffer from motion sickness then think very carefully about CE 'cos it moves....a lot !

 

- The CE is gloriously quiet. Far quieter than SD though albeit at acceptable levels. Screams of crew being flogged for wrong service at Hum's table occur occasionally but Hum has grown completely in-different to their blood curdling screams and pleas to stop.

 

- the CE Main Dining Salon toilets are fabulous. Large cubicles finished in black marble and a loo seat which lifts to greet your pert "derriere" beckoning you over to rest a while as it gently warms your ample cheeks with a million warm kisses. Hum suggests Heaven get some in for reward for the virtuous (sorry Jim, you'll never know) The basin is a cut glass round bowl perched on the black marbled top. It looks like it should have ice and a bottle of DP77 in it. A trulyfabulous toilet. Hum wants to marry it. Hum promised to remind himself to take full advantage of the facilities for his next "constitutional". One of the best bogs on the planet ! Hum wished his coffee served there whilst Hum was on the throne. Something about it being completely disgusting and never ever ask again was apparently mentioned. Hum forgets.

-

- The Casino was not in operation and looked as if it would'nt be either for quite some time. The SD casino is always operating in the evening. Hum is told, SD continue to have one for the rating system. One of our chums from the northern settlements warned us that there were 3 casinos, full of Chinese men gambling away into the small wee hours. He was wrong (again). It's a pity about the Casino, they usually have very attractive gals working them in attractive .... well...things. Hum pretends to play Bond on those occasions. "All on the black ! Hum said all on the black" but Mr. Hum you have to bet with legitimate currency, we no longer accept Tibetan rupees, come to think about Tibet does'nt evn accept Tibetan rupees !

 

- the pool on SD is small but sufficient: the pool on CE is tiny (sorry Kathy...there's room for a few of your plastic ducks though).

 

- the CE gym has a basic amount of equipment but they are first class. SD's gym is more spacious and there is more equipment per passenger..,,,they say.

 

- but on CE there are 2 fitness instructors ! Nice lads too. Blondie was always there ....... hmmmmm ?

-

- the public areas on SD are spotless. Handrails being cleaned continuously. CE cleanliness on public stairs, not so great. SD cleaning is OCD. CE cleaning is "must I ?". Frayed carpet at metal junction strip between main lounge and dining salon: could cause a trip. Stains on the cream carpet too. Cream ? Mat from kitchen to corridor always ruffled or is it rucked. Whatever, a waiter could trip. (Quite the safety guy is'nt Hum. Yes it's dull, accepted).

-

- Oh almost forgot CE has a submarine. unfortunately sea conditions prevented use on many occasions but on the penultimate day, it was off, amongst great interest. Carefully lowered onto the water and then towed by zodiac to a buoy marked reef where the intrepid passengers were ferried to also by zodiac after a quick briefing. Everybody who went on it (5 couples) thoroughly enjoyed it (even at $600 per person). Hum is saving for Jim's 90th birthday so unfortunately we didn't partake (saving up for that mug that'll keep his "brew" ice cold). .The film "Poseidon" also left some horrible memories. Shirley Winters in her "knicky knacky noos" !!! Oh the horror of it all !! No but seriously, the sub was a hit. A big hit. Cynical Hum got that well and truly wrong ! Would you do it ?? Very popular on CE, a resounding hit. Hum's guess is that they were able to do it earlier then word would get around and they could double use. Crystal just send consultancy cheque to Hum's Swiss account.

 

 

CONCLUSION

Now my chums, Hum thinks he can call you that now.

Hum is going to be serious 'cos this is important, very important.

Hum has been on SD a heck of a lot.

We've sailed everywhere (Med, Caribbean, Transatlantic).

The worst sea was just off the South of Francis, between the South of Francis and Corsica.

Hum knows rough seas.

So when Hum noticed a bit of a movement on CE, naturally he looked out.

Nada, Zilch.

Hum was told it was swells under the surface.

Could well have been.

Could have been two tiddlers swimming by !

Hum knows nothing about ships.

But he knows a movement !

And this baby, moves........a lot.......when nothings out there !

And so, if a vessel cannot handle even the most moderate sea conditions then itineraries are restricted as a consequence which is the case on CE.

Sorry, its all been quite a jolly jape up til now but this is a big issue.

Hum is beginning to think the worst.

Is this the wrong type of ship to have converted ?

Wrong bottom, hull, heck Hum doesn't know

Jim is the expert round these parts.

He did a post a while back about it being converted.

Hum might have got it completely wrong.

But Hum will check when he is off his hols.

Hum is on holiday, kindly remember that. Bless you. Sorry Hum got "tetchy".

Jim's view is worth much more than simple Hums.

If we can entice Jim to share his professional opinion it would be very interesting.

Look, the CE feels like a river boat, looks like a river boat.

Heck the poor old Captain was sheltering from swells, a wave, most every ruddy day !

There have been some rough seas on SD as Hum said earlier but the seas were 4-5m waves not 0.3m !

Never any worries on SD for many reasons.

First, the vessel can handle it.

Second, the Captains are very experienced (as is Captain on CE) and secretly Hum thinks they love it.

Thirdly the Captains, will do everything to steer into calmer waters.

We've gone different routes, sailed to different destinations 'cos of conditions.

Just look at CE's itinerary, it tells you a lot about the suitability of the vessel in really open water.

 

Look Crystal Esprit MUST know all about this hence the itinerary selection. If you go, it will be fine but any poor seas and you will know about it.

Hum's seen fellow passengers over the years look "green around the gills" when the ruddy ship has been un-tied from the quay side !!!

Get patches, shots, eat ginger, put your head between your legs or someone else's legs for all Hum cares.

BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE BE BALLY WELL PREPARED.

There is a very, very good South African doctor on board.

Well Hum never needed him but his jokes are very funny.

Get him to tell you the one about the Scotsmen in the voice operated lift.

 

SD has been in need of upgrading for a while now and improvements have been made but mostly those required by International Law and not for the comfort of passengers or to meet passengers ever growing requirements (decent wifi for example).

 

So two very different approaches, based mostly on budgets available (one big, the other tiny) both of which are significant by them both missing the mark.

 

Hence a close contest but as SD is better fit for sea conditions resulting in much more extensive itineraries then it must be preferred even though the facilities onboard CE are much better quality

 

SD should have been the "Orient Express" of the sea.

With just a bit of money for a refurbishment and a change of "top man" with the vision he had in the early days (oh and not run by a Norwegian: dullest people on the planet) it could have equalled the Cipriani (Venice), Huka Lodge (New Zealand) ..... But we will never know .... sadly.

 

Finally if Hum has it got it wrong, then balky well say something !

Hum ain't happy 'bout this but .........

 

SCORES:

- CE: 15/25

- SD: 21/25

 

Shoreside Management: CE: 13. SD: 8 Winner CE

Boarding & Disembarkation: CE: 9. SD: 7 Winner CE

Vessel: CE: 15. SD: 21 Winner SD

Running Total (so far): CE: 37. SD: 36[/size][/font][/b]

 

Not for feeling so chipper tonight.

 

The difference is just 1 point.

[gcmv]

Dearest ho-hum,

the review is so far very informative, but it gives rise to questions and some remarks.

 

- Registration on SD is efficient and friendly but on Crystal mostly everything has been pre-registered before you even leave home which is fantastic

How did ho-hum manage to get onboard? Gcmv is quite sure that ho-hum forged the documents extremely.

 

One "bummer": the light in the WC was'nt working, so you were left to fumble in the darkness which would explain the flies at half mast incident !

Using the light switch on the wall might help?!

 

Hum enquires whether being "hung over" with a "head" is permissible and Hum is quickly reassured it does not ban him from entry onboard.

CE-staff lost the last chance of getting rid of ho-hum!

 

Hum supervises the maintenance.

Feels like home, when the local electrician works at Hum’s castle.

 

- we enter a glorious reception to an array of smiling, smartly, uniformed personnel and again proffered champagne in a glass (not plastic). The reception on SD is not as grand but there we are greeted by the Captain, which is nice.

Captain on CE reads idle jottings – no wonder that he dodges behind the funnel while ho-hum enters the ship and the reception.

 

Photos and final registration are all done in the cabin, again which is nice

Get ho-hum away from reception was the real reason.

 

- our bags are already in the cabin. We could have asked the butler to un-pack for us but we decide to arrange things ourselves thus saving the embarrassment of the butler saying "Lord Hum what shall I do with this tent" ? Those are Hum's pants, stupid boy !

The good news is, that ho-hum didn’t write what question the butler might have asked while unpacking ho-hum’s wet-look tiger string thong …

 

- Our truly wonderful Phillipino housekeeping lady introduces herself. She is all smiles, courteous and extremely helpful.

“Why me ??? I’m the poorest!” she talked to herself while putting up a brave front.

 

- A few minutes later a very smart, Phillipino butler arrives.

At least partly one handsome man in the cabin.

 

SD's is simpler and you have a better chance of remembering it and know how to put on jackets. The jackets on CE are more complicated and you don't try them on.

Has it something to do with the consumption of Champagne before?

 

And what if there are no jackets at the "Muster Station" ?

In case of this, ho-hum has to wear a tuxedo.

 

- disembarkation on CE is altogether more civilised than SD

“Civilised” and “ho-hum” – two words that won’t fit together.

 

- however Hum was not too pleased about having to confirm disembarkation details on CE on Day 3 of a 7 day voyage: Day 5 is better.

Perhaps it was the only moment where ho-hum was sober – the staff had to take this one and only chance.

 

- Hum has never had one incorrect bill on SD over the years.

The reason is: Blondie checks them on SD.

 

- No senior crew member wished us goodbye on CE ! On SD there is the Captain, Hotel Manager and all.

Still hiding behind the funnel.

 

 

- navigating the gang plank in heels was again a nightmare on CE !

Ho-hum should try sneakers.

 

 

-How you liking it all so far ?

Great, old chap!!!

Now we're on the "real stuff"

It took quite a very long time!

And tomorrow it starts to get really exciting !!!!

Hum cant wait !!!

Gcmv either ... :D

[Jim Avery]

Mr. Hum you asked about motion. Having never been aboard CE I will give it a go, just for you Mr. Hum. Published data shows that CE was built in Germany and completed in 1991 so is around 6 years newer than SD. SD was built for continual world cruising as Sea Goddess I & II so has a deeper draft. SD is a bit larger than CE but has nearly double the draft. From looking at the plans of CE, she seems to have had additional spaces added up top along with equipment, etc. I could really put you to sleep with rambling about centers of buoyancy, metacentric height, and a few mind numbing calculations I was required to learn but instead, unlike Hum, the short version.........CE is a shallow draft vessel with a larger portion of her weight up top. (Sometimes a good thing, heh, heh, heh) The more weight up top, the more the motion. SD was built for ocean crossing and as I have said many times before, has a very good ride for a vessel its size. As we have seen recently with Allure of the Seas, even very large ships can move disturbingly in heavy seas. So, for a given sea state, SD should ride easier than CE. Hope this helps.:D

[ho-hum]

Dearest ho-hum,

the review is so far very informative, but it gives rise to questions and some remarks.

 

 

How did ho-hum manage to get onboard? Gcmv is quite sure that ho-hum forged the documents extremely.

 

 

Using the light switch on the wall might help?!

 

 

CE-staff lost the last chance of getting rid of ho-hum!

 

 

Feels like home, when the local electrician works at Hum’s castle.

 

 

Captain on CE reads idle jottings – no wonder that he dodges behind the funnel while ho-hum enters the ship and the reception.

 

 

Get ho-hum away from reception was the real reason.

 

 

The good news is, that ho-hum didn’t write what question the butler might have asked while unpacking ho-hum’s wet-look tiger string thong …

 

 

“Why me ??? I’m the poorest!” she talked to herself while putting up a brave front.

 

 

At least partly one handsome man in the cabin.

 

 

Has it something to do with the consumption of Champagne before?

 

 

In case of this, ho-hum has to wear a tuxedo.

 

 

“Civilised” and “ho-hum” – two words that won’t fit together.

 

 

Perhaps it was the only moment where ho-hum was sober – the staff had to take this one and only chance.

 

 

The reason is: Blondie checks them on SD.

 

 

Still hiding behind the funnel.

 

 

 

Ho-hum should try sneakers.

 

 

 

Great, old chap!!!

 

It took quite a very long time!

 

Gcmv either ... :D

 

Hum is "coming out" !

Hum loves GCMV !

Move over Frau GCMV !

Very, very funny.

You have proved one very important thing !

Germans have a sense of humour.

Nein.

A wonderful sense of humour.

Great job, dearest friend.

[ho-hum]

Mr. Hum you asked about motion. Having never been aboard CE I will give it a go, just for you Mr. Hum. Published data shows that CE was built in Germany and completed in 1991 so is around 6 years newer than SD. SD was built for continual world cruising as Sea Goddess I & II so has a deeper draft. SD is a bit larger than CE but has nearly double the draft. From looking at the plans of CE, she seems to have had additional spaces added up top along with equipment, etc. I could really put you to sleep with rambling about centers of buoyancy, metacentric height, and a few mind numbing calculations I was required to learn but instead, unlike Hum, the short version.........CE is a shallow draft vessel with a larger portion of her weight up top. (Sometimes a good thing, heh, heh, heh) The more weight up top, the more the motion. SD was built for ocean crossing and as I have said many times before, has a very good ride for a vessel its size. As we have seen recently with Allure of the Seas, even very large ships can move disturbingly in heavy seas. So, for a given sea state, SD should ride easier than CE. Hope this helps.:D

 

You are sir, a bally marvel !

They have a dinky sub onboard.

Now when that was lowered into the water by a bally big crane.

The whole ship listed about 12degs.

It may not sound much to us laymen but onboard it was very noticeable.

You talked about top weight.

This sub must have weighed a bit to do that thus adding to decreased stability.

Does Hum's theory on itineraries hold water so to speak (forgive pun) ?

[Jim Avery]

Yessir it does hold water. "Miss Vito, does the prosecutions case hold water???" I do not think it would be pleasant on a Transatlantic unless the waters were very calm. Better for very calm island hopping.

[ho-hum]

Jim, you can rule out island hopping !

Especially from Barbados !!

No, maybe Hum under-stated the situation ......

Hum will leave it for now.

[Jim Avery]

Jim, you can rule out island hopping !

Especially from Barbados !!

No, maybe Hum under-stated the situation ......

Hum will leave it for now.

 

A term used for a ship as you described is "tender". CE sounds very tender by your account. Really a problem when your martini sloshes out of the glass. I remember one very nasty crossing on QE2 where you literally could not put your drink down or it would slosh out of the glass. Not exactly pleasant.:eek::D

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Good analysis Jimbo.

 

Speaking of stability (of ships, not of ho-hum's mental state), how well do the Seaborne (now Windstar) triplets ride?

 

Since you were last on one, they doubled the size of the sun deck that runs around above the hot tub area. That adds a bit of steel pretty high up. And they took away the pool (but replaced one of the hot tubs with a small current pool), making the old pool area into a covered dining area.

 

Fortunately for the Legend's stability, Mrs D's luggage will be on a fairly low deck :eek:

[bermudabum]

A term used for a ship as you described is "tender". CE sounds very tender by your account. Really a problem when your martini sloshes out of the glass. I remember one very nasty crossing on QE2 where you literally could not put your drink down or it would slosh out of the glass. Not exactly pleasant.:eek::D

 

Sir Hum knows that feeling well: Saint-Tropez to Menorca, July 2014

[vandrefalk]

Mr. Hum, thank you for your detailed and (mostly) fascinating review. I am reminded that I miss our conversations!

Vandrefalk

[Jim Avery]

Good analysis Jimbo.

 

Speaking of stability (of ships, not of ho-hum's mental state), how well do the Seaborne (now Windstar) triplets ride?

 

Since you were last on one, they doubled the size of the sun deck that runs around above the hot tub area. That adds a bit of steel pretty high up. And they took away the pool (but replaced one of the hot tubs with a small current pool), making the old pool area into a covered dining area.

 

Fortunately for the Legend's stability, Mrs D's luggage will be on a fairly low deck :eek:

 

They rode well as far as we were tested in the Med. There was a day of windy, choppy weather and we had no issues with the ride. Again, fairly deep draft ships for their size. What you describe, I recommended to Seabourn as the pool was terrible. Interesting that Xanterra made those changes. Looking forward to your review as we really enjoyed the ships when they were Seabourn. Will probably be a wash between the new steel and Mrs. D's wardrobe. You lucky boy!:D

Edited February 25, 2016 by Jim Avery

[TrulyBlonde]

Oh Hum,

I must confess and tell you that I just returned from a lovely day on the slopes and I typically head to my computer to see the lasted Trump updates. Not today! I immediately headed for Hump's "Idle Jottings" for the latest updates.

 

This is quite amazing, Hump or Trump....you are WINNING! LOL!

 

Although, that nasty debate is on tonight...can you win 2 days in a row?

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

"Looking forward to your review"

 

Well, thanks, but there won't be much detail, as we took the booze package :rolleyes:

 

Funny, all the other cruises we've done have been all-inclusive, and Mrs D never mentions the drinks aspect of the cruise (other than to bad-mouth the included wines a few times...). And she rarely orders drinks other than wine at dinner.

 

This time, since we paid ~$450 per person for the booze package, she is constantly researching and talking about all the rum drinks, etc. that she wants to try. To the point that she has a long list, with desired ingredients, stored on her phone.... And keep in mind the cruise only cost $1900 pp, due to snagging a sale before our final payment. Even with the booze, it's a bargain price for a nicer type cruise. I bet she beats the bartenders like rented mules.

[ho-hum]

A term used for a ship as you described is "tender". CE sounds very tender by your account. Really a problem when your martini sloshes out of the glass. I remember one very nasty crossing on QE2 where you literally could not put your drink down or it would slosh out of the glass. Not exactly pleasant.:eek::D

 

Heck, a martini spill !

[ho-hum]

Sir Hum knows that feeling well: Saint-Tropez to Menorca, July 2014

 

Oh yeah !

And we were eating outside that night with Chief Purser and Head of Housekeeping.

We made it up to Hum's "Dover Sole Meuniere".

Had to leave after just one mouthful.

Delicious.

[ho-hum]

Mr. Hum, thank you for your detailed and (mostly) fascinating review. I am reminded that I miss our conversations!

Vandrefalk

 

Miss you too Lady V.

You are one fascinating and bright lady.

Why you even spent any time with Hum is beyond him !

Say "howdy" to Clint.

HHx

[ho-hum]

Good analysis Jimbo.

 

Speaking of stability (of ships, not of ho-hum's mental state), how well do the Seaborne (now Windstar) triplets ride?

 

Fortunately for the Legend's stability, Mrs D's luggage will be on a fairly low deck :eek:

 

Haha

And with your big head on the top deck it would really tilt.

Haha

Hum's mental state !

Well really !

Haha

[ho-hum]

Oh Hum,

I must confess and tell you that I just returned from a lovely day on the slopes and I typically head to my computer to see the lasted Trump updates. Not today! I immediately headed for Hump's "Idle Jottings" for the latest updates.

 

This is quite amazing, Hump or Trump....you are WINNING! LOL!

 

Although, that nasty debate is on tonight...can you win 2 days in a row?

 

The natural choice darling, the natural choice (Hump over Trump)

And so say 1000 readers a day.

 

Trump is a natural leader amongst sheep.

America feels it.

Now in Humps position, Hump must say Hump is not endorsing anyone but just saying how an independent sees it.

It's time Trump starts to be magnanimous and "reach out".

Then he will certainly go all the way (but maybe not if he does'nt).

[ho-hum]

"Looking forward to your review"

 

Well, thanks, but there won't be much detail, as we took the booze package :rolleyes:

 

Funny, all the other cruises we've done have been all-inclusive, and Mrs D never mentions the drinks aspect of the cruise (other than to bad-mouth the included wines a few times...). And she rarely orders drinks other than wine at dinner.

 

This time, since we paid ~$450 per person for the booze package, she is constantly researching and talking about all the rum drinks, etc. that she wants to try. To the point that she has a long list, with desired ingredients, stored on her phone.... And keep in mind the cruise only cost $1900 pp, due to snagging a sale before our final payment. Even with the booze, it's a bargain price for a nicer type cruise. I bet she beats the bartenders like rented mules.

 

So what you're saying is you turned Mrs.D to drink !

Always thought it would just be a matter of time.

Haha