Appropriate Crew Gifts?

[fortinweb]

Cash, cash and more cash. I really don't see why anyone would give their stewards anything other than cash. Cash is always appreciated and they can buy whatever they want or need with it.

 

As we have seen from one poster's revelation, the gift giving is not about benefiting the recipient, but all about his "feeling good about myself" needs. That poster commented that they don't even care what the recipient does with the gift - leaves it behind, gives it away, or throws it overboard. Whether the recipient gains value in the gift is not important at all, as long has he goes home feeling all sanctimonious about himself.

Edited April 11, 2014 by fortinweb

[Dayenu]

As we have seen from one poster's revelation, the gift giving is not about benefiting the recipient, but all about his "feeling good about myself" needs. That poster commented that they don't even care what the recipient does with the gift - leaves it behind, gives it away, or throws it overboard. Whether the recipient gains value in the gift is not important at all, as long has he goes home feeling all sanctimonious about himself.

 

Well said!!

[jamessemaj]

As we have seen from one poster's revelation, the gift giving is not about benefiting the recipient, but all about his "feeling good about myself" needs. That poster commented that they don't even care what the recipient does with the gift - leaves it behind, gives it away, or throws it overboard. Whether the recipient gains value in the gift is not important at all, as long has he goes home feeling all sanctimonious about himself.

 

I agree and wonder at how shallow a person could be to derive a sense of satisfaction not really caring whether the recipient even wants the gift. Giving the gift is the most important benefit regardless of all other considerations? Pretty cheap satisfaction and sense of worth. I know there is a common belief that a money gift is somehow derelict in gift giving, but I have never quite understood that logic.

[navybankerteacher]

I agree and wonder at how shallow a person could be to derive a sense of satisfaction not really caring whether the recipient even wants the gift. Giving the gift is the most important benefit regardless of all other considerations? Pretty cheap satisfaction and sense of worth. I know there is a common belief that a money gift is somehow derelict in gift giving, but I have never quite understood that logic.

 

A money gift to a close friend or relative might be seen as showing lack of care, effort or consideration. But when the recipient is someone who is paid to provide personal services to the donor, the relationship is completely different --- accordingly the entire concept of giving should be different. There is nothing derelict in increasing the cash compensation received by someone who provides you with personal services because he/she wants that basic cash compensation.

 

Anyone who thinks it is a good idea to buy a gift for that service provider is showing complete disrespect for the recipient by ignoring the entire motivation of that recipient.

[swsfrail]

I agree and wonder at how shallow a person could be to derive a sense of satisfaction not really caring whether the recipient even wants the gift. Giving the gift is the most important benefit regardless of all other considerations? Pretty cheap satisfaction and sense of worth. I know there is a common belief that a money gift is somehow derelict in gift giving, but I have never quite understood that logic.

 

Seems as if this poster have very little regard for others. It is astonishing some of the things he has posted:

 

"...this may hiss off many but who cares....."

 

"But as the giver, if I want to give something else I will. It is a GIFT from me (us) to them."

 

"If they don't want what I give they can either leave it in the cabin or give it away. Heck, they can throw it overboard for all I care."

 

"Beside, I work hard for the money I have and am using to buy them a gift. I can always just keep that extra money or spend it on myself if they have a complaint about the EXTRA I am doing for them.".

 

It is quite clear that, as has been so clearly explained, HE DOESN'T CARE, period!

 

Absolutely amazing the arrogance exhibited in those few sentences. :rolleyes:

Edited April 12, 2014 by swsfrail

[Katgoesonholiday]

 

Anyone who thinks it is a good idea to buy a gift for that service provider is showing complete disrespect for the recipient by ignoring the entire motivation of that recipient.

 

Well said!

[A2Mich]

I would only give them cash. Some cultures find gift giving to be borderline insulting. I've seen how most of the crew live - 2 to a cabin about half the size of a typical stateroom for months on end. These people ABSOLUTELY DO NOT have room for trinkets, doo-dads, knick-knacks, and whatever other crap that passengers want to pawn off on them. As for the post about giving a small gift and letting the employee do as they wish - what do see wrong with this? If this person is a room steward, they likely have 15-20 rooms to deal with. If only half of those staterooms left this employee some type of trinket, the worker either has a half cabin full of crap in a hurry, or are filling a small trash can every week. I work in a service industry myself, and I can tell you this - I have the room to keep trinkets, etc. Guess what? I DON'T WANT IT! I don't need more t-shirts, bags of chips, keychains, religious or political handouts, etc. I have a family to feed too. If you wish to give me something above and beyond, I would also prefer cash - I can buy lunch, I can put it in the vacation fund, I can use it to replace a broken or lost tool, etc.

 

I think that buying employess what YOU want is selfish. Let them decide on how best to use the extra money, they really don't want, need, or have room for yet another "I Love NY" t-shirt or California keychain, or whatever else.

[ShawninFL]

I see this as a wage payment based on service received. Although we in the US call this a tip, it really is we the consumer paying a waiter's or some other service employee's wage. I wouldn't ever consider giving a gift in this situation. I'm paying their wage and we pay wages in the modern era with cash. At Christmas, I typically give my barber a Christmas "gift" since we see each other every couple of weeks year after year, but the gift is a cash "tip". Additionally there is a waitress at a place we go to lunch during the work week at least once a week. We also give her a special Christmas tip in cash. Employees work for one primary reason...to earn money. just my two cents.

[sparky-elpaso]

I see this as a wage payment based on service received. Although we in the US call this a tip, it really is we the consumer paying a waiter's or some other service employee's wage. I wouldn't ever consider giving a gift in this situation. I'm paying their wage and we pay wages in the modern era with cash. At Christmas, I typically give my barber a Christmas "gift" since we see each other every couple of weeks year after year, but the gift is a cash "tip". Additionally there is a waitress at a place we go to lunch during the work week at least once a week. We also give her a special Christmas tip in cash. Employees work for one primary reason...to earn money. just my two cents.

 

Exactly. Even though you know these folks fairly well since you see them often they're still working for money. We always plan on leaving extra - we have yet to have anything but wonderful cabin stewards.

[navybankerteacher]

For those who think a gift is an appropriate form of recognition for superior service: consider the following not-altogether-unlikely scenario:

 

At the end of the 21st century, when employment opportunities in the US are hard to find after virtually all manufacturing has fled to more employer-friendly countries, and food prices have sky-rocketed because the Beijing-based world food consortium has bought up all US farm land is is exporting grain to higher paying markets; your great grand children are happy to find jobs as cabin stewards on Singapore Malaysia Cruise Lines ships serving and cleaning up after the wealthier Indonesian and Filipino passengers --- would you expect them to be glad to receive some cheap trinket rather than cold cash as recognition for superior service.

 

If you would not want your great grandchildren to be treated that way, perhaps you should not treat other people's great grandchildren like that.

[tercar]

I work with people from 3rd world countries, and one thing has always stuck in my mind. The person told me she kept a picture of a bar of chocolate and looked longingly at it because there was no way she could afford to buy it. As most of the crew are working on the ship for THE MONEY which most send nearly all of it home to keep their families, I think chocolate is something most people enjoy, however sometimes the crew would rather do without than buy it themselves, therefore I think it is a nice gesture to give them this treat. We are going to Cape Verde soon and I know it is a very poor country, therefore my suitcase has already got books,pencils, clothing etc to give to the islanders. I know they will be grateful for these items. I will also give cash too.

 

 

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[mom says]

IMO giving candy, trinkets, doodads, etc is well intentioned and ill conceived. I agree with most of the PPs that cash is king, and the recipient is free to do with it as they wish, whether that be sending it home or buying something like a chocolate bar for their own consunption.

 

However one idea that I do like (If you are determined not to give them cash) is to give them an international phone card so they can call home when they have time off in port. Almost as good as cash, and almost as useful for most I would think.

[A2Mich]

IMO giving candy, trinkets, doodads, etc is well intentioned and ill conceived. I agree with most of the PPs that cash is king, and the recipient is free to do with it as they wish, whether that be sending it home or buying something like a chocolate bar for their own consunption.

 

However one idea that I do like (If you are determined not to give them cash) is to give them an international phone card so they can call home when they have time off in port. Almost as good as cash, and almost as useful for most I would think.

 

 

My only issue with the phone card idea is that in some of the countries some of the workers come from, their families at home may not have a phone. I would still think that cash is the best-if they want to buy a phone card, then they can do so. Of course they could also use the phone card to barter with if they have no use for it. I think the main issue is that we don't know these people personally - just because one person obsesses over a chocolate bar, not everyone does. I can't think of anyone who doesn't like cash, but can think of plenty of people who don't need more knick-knacks. JMHO.

[boogs]

I work with people from 3rd world countries, and one thing has always stuck in my mind. The person told me she kept a picture of a bar of chocolate and looked longingly at it because there was no way she could afford to buy it. As most of the crew are working on the ship for THE MONEY which most send nearly all of it home to keep their families, I think chocolate is something most people enjoy, however sometimes the crew would rather do without than buy it themselves, therefore I think it is a nice gesture to give them this treat.

 

You are making a blanket decision that all staff would like chocolate based on what one person told you about herself? That's a bit of a stretch. Trust me - not everyone likes chocolate. Some don't eat it for dietary reasons. Some don't eat it for religious reasons. And some just don't care for it. But, I can't think of a single person who doesn't like extra cash.

 

Besides, if you gave them cash, they could buy their own chocolate when they wanted some. Or, they could buy something they need even more.

 

And don't the staff get room and board during their contracts? Wouldn't this mean that they already get their food for free, including desserts that match their food tastes?

Edited April 12, 2014 by boogs

[#1TravelMom]

I think you are unaware of what you did...

You are in a position of authority over your cabin steward in the sense that you can make or break your earnings for this cruise and a complaint from you to her supervisor about her performance or attitude could lose her job. So, you pressured her by repeated requests until she caved. The tears were likely stress since she was hoping you would forgot and she won'tbe in this awkward position. You put her between a rock and a hard space and you want kudos? You should have respected her enough to listen to her the first time.

 

First of all - I meant to say - we've been on a lot of cruises. Second - I must have done a really bad job conveying what I meant for you to musunderstand soooo severely.

 

We, of course, wrote glowing comment cards on her service. We tipped her the standard auto gratuities amount, plus and additional $50 cash, plus all of the toiletries we purchased for her. She had tears, because she couldn't believe we were willing to take our port time to shop for her. She said most passengers barely say hello. She was grateful she didn't have to spend her time and money shopping for things she needed. They had just come off a European itinerary where many passengers remove the tips. She said our gifts really lifted her spirits.

 

I have no clue how you think I put her between a "rock and a hard place"??? And we certainly expected no "kudos". I still think extra cash is always best. But, in addition, we will continue to ask if there is anything we can pick up for our steward while in port.

[iheartbda]

IMO giving candy, trinkets, doodads, etc is well intentioned and ill conceived. I agree with most of the PPs that cash is king, and the recipient is free to do with it as they wish, whether that be sending it home or buying something like a chocolate bar for their own consunption.

 

However one idea that I do like (If you are determined not to give them cash) is to give them an international phone card so they can call home when they have time off in port. Almost as good as cash, and almost as useful for most I would think.

 

Not necessarily, all international calling card are not created equally. The person may not be able to use it.

[#1TravelMom]

The cabin steward said "no, thanks" repeatedly When someone tells you "no" and you keep at them until they do what YOU want, that is about your needs, your need to control, your need to feel good about your behavior.

Besides the poster didn't even pick up these items..she had her driver get them and thus didn't even experience shopping for routine items in an unfamiliar country. Can you imagine the panic when the bags of items was presented and the cabin steward frantically trying to calculate if they had the money to pay? Then the poster waves her wand and insists it is all a gift? The poster thinks she has made the cabin steward's day but truth, is the poster created much unnecessary anxiety.

 

Not sure why I feel I have to defend this - I was just posting about a great experience we had.

 

She didn't say no because she didn't want the items - she said no because she felt like it was imposing on us to ask. Also, I personally shopped for the items myself - I meant - I had the driver stop at a store so I could get the things on the list. She was extremely thankful and we were glad to do it for her. I can assure you we caused her no anxiety. I'm not sure how this was misinterpreted as something stressful to her when it was exactly the opposite.

[sail7seas]

My only issue with the phone card idea is that in some of the countries some of the workers come from, their families at home may not have a phone. I would still think that cash is the best-if they want to buy a phone card, then they can do so. Of course they could also use the phone card to barter with if they have no use for it. I think the main issue is that we don't know these people personally - just because one person obsesses over a chocolate bar, not everyone does. I can't think of anyone who doesn't like cash, but can think of plenty of people who don't need more knick-knacks. JMHO.

 

 

Crew can usually buy much better calling cards (for them - for calling their home countries) than we can. The crews' purser sells them cards but a great many of them skype and facetime. All the new electronics are available to crew, too. ;) Many of them have laptops, tablets, cell phones and the like. :)

 

Phone cards WERE a nice extra gift ten years ago but far less so now.

 

Edited April 12, 2014 by sail7seas

[tercar]

You are making a blanket decision that all staff would like chocolate based on what one person told you about herself? That's a bit of a stretch. Trust me - not everyone likes chocolate. Some don't eat it for dietary reasons. Some don't eat it for religious reasons. And some just don't care for it. But, I can't think of a single person who doesn't like extra cash.

 

Besides, if you gave them cash, they could buy their own chocolate when they wanted some. Or, they could buy something they need even more.

 

And don't the staff get room and board during their contracts? Wouldn't this mean that they already get their food for free, including desserts that match their food tastes?

 

 

I did say most people like chocolate not every body!! Also if you are anything like me there are things I would do without if I had to buy them myself, for example I love perfume, however it is not something I buy willingly for myself, however I absolutely love getting it as a gift!

 

Also the crew do not eat the Faye the passenger indulge in mostly it's rice dishes and noodles. I have taken crew shopping when they have been in my home port, and I can tell you something for nothing most of them DO appreciate small gifts. Carol

 

 

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[tercar]

First of all - I meant to say - we've been on a lot of cruises. Second - I must have done a really bad job conveying what I meant for you to musunderstand soooo severely.

 

 

 

We, of course, wrote glowing comment cards on her service. We tipped her the standard auto gratuities amount, plus and additional $50 cash, plus all of the toiletries we purchased for her. She had tears, because she couldn't believe we were willing to take our port time to shop for her. She said most passengers barely say hello. She was grateful she didn't have to spend her time and money shopping for things she needed. They had just come off a European itinerary where many passengers remove the tips. She said our gifts really lifted her spirits.

 

 

 

I have no clue how you think I put her between a "rock and a hard place"??? And we certainly expected no "kudos". I still think extra cash is always best. But, in addition, we will continue to ask if there is anything we can pick up for our steward while in port.

 

 

Well I for one think you are very thoughtful, and you right regarding many people removing the tips, which I find disgraceful, I also know some toiletries are very expensive in Europe and yes they buy their own washing liquids and conditioners and have to wash their own clothes. So yes buying her the necessities would have been a tremendous bonus in my opinion too good on you x Carol

 

 

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[Cruisin' Chick]

I work with people from 3rd world countries, and one thing has always stuck in my mind. The person told me she kept a picture of a bar of chocolate and looked longingly at it because there was no way she could afford to buy it. As most of the crew are working on the ship for THE MONEY which most send nearly all of it home to keep their families, I think chocolate is something most people enjoy, however sometimes the crew would rather do without than buy it themselves, therefore I think it is a nice gesture to give them this treat. We are going to Cape Verde soon and I know it is a very poor country, therefore my suitcase has already got books,pencils, clothing etc to give to the islanders. I know they will be grateful for these items. I will also give cash too.

 

 

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I think these are two different situations. I'm guessing that it can be difficult for out of the place orphanages and the like to be able to obtain items for their schools. So often charity groups will shop for items that they know (from going on site) will be needed and pack these in their suitcases. I know of some groups that used to post on this site (until it was decided not to allow it here) about their missions.

 

This is not the case for ship employees. On their rare day's off, they'll take money (from the tips we give), and go to the local Walmart or similar store. I remember when we returned back to the port in Hilo on our last cruise, there were crew members lined up to get on the Hilo Hattie's or Walmart shuttle buses (the HH was right across the street from the Walmart), undoubtedly to buy what they need.

 

Not sure why I feel I have to defend this - I was just posting about a great experience we had.

 

She didn't say no because she didn't want the items - she said no because she felt like it was imposing on us to ask. Also, I personally shopped for the items myself - I meant - I had the driver stop at a store so I could get the things on the list. She was extremely thankful and we were glad to do it for her. I can assure you we caused her no anxiety. I'm not sure how this was misinterpreted as something stressful to her when it was exactly the opposite.

 

The reason you got the responses you did was that it sounds like the crew member kept saying no thanks, and you persisted. At least that's how your other post sounded. It's nice to offer ("hey, one place we're stopping at is --- and if you want me to pick you up something, it's not a problem, just write it down for me." If the response is no thanks, why keep persisting? Maybe the next day off, the intent was to buy something of a more personal nature (feminine supplies, for example). It could have been more that someone doesn't want to impose, but maybe not.

[cruisemom42]

We are going to Cape Verde soon and I know it is a very poor country, therefore my suitcase has already got books,pencils, clothing etc to give to the islanders. I know they will be grateful for these items. I will also give cash too.

 

 

It's nice that you think this, but the reality is quite different.

 

When I was on a land tour in Egypt, two of my tour mates were teachers who had brought (on suggestion of others) some things to give the children who will persistently beg from tour groups. They brought pencils, crayons, notebooks, erasers, etc.

 

Well, they gave them to two children outside a restaurant near the pyramids at Giza. They were horrified when the children ran back to the older woman who was "watching" their efforts to show her. She tossed the items on the ground and proceeded to severely slap and cuff the kids for not bringing back cash. It was tough to watch but our guide told us not to intervene.

 

I would never give anything except cash, if in that kind of situation. Other items are best distributed through local charities that know the right group/school/organization to work with.

[Karysa]

It's nice that you think this, but the reality is quite different.

 

When I was on a land tour in Egypt, two of my tour mates were teachers who had brought (on suggestion of others) some things to give the children who will persistently beg from tour groups. They brought pencils, crayons, notebooks, erasers, etc.

 

Well, they gave them to two children outside a restaurant near the pyramids at Giza. They were horrified when the children ran back to the older woman who was "watching" their efforts to show her. She tossed the items on the ground and proceeded to severely slap and cuff the kids for not bringing back cash. It was tough to watch but our guide told us not to intervene.

 

I would never give anything except cash, if in that kind of situation. Other items are best distributed through local charities that know the right group/school/organization to work with.

 

 

I could not watch kids get severely slapped and cuffed. If you weren't going to help why didn't you just leave?

[A2Mich]

I could not watch kids get severely slapped and cuffed. If you weren't going to help why didn't you just leave?

 

 

Because not every culture has become like the American culture where you can no longer discipline your children because some liberal civil rights group thinks it's ok for children to act the way they do because of their "civil rights." What a crock of BS.

 

 

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[Karysa]

Because not every culture has become like the American culture where you can no longer discipline your children because some liberal civil rights group thinks it's ok for children to act the way they do because of their "civil rights." What a crock of BS.

 

 

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Oh K then!:D