Leaving a tween onboard while at port

[FinallyCruisinIn2014]

I have to think this through first but is it even allowed? My daughter will be one month shy of 13 when we cruise. She would rather stay on the ship while we go shop for a couple hours.

 

Has anyone ever done this?

[kathyemma]

I haven't just because I am so afraid something will happen TO ME and I will end up missing the boat. I am sure she will be fine.

 

Kathy

[FinallyCruisinIn2014]

I haven't just because I am so afraid something will happen TO ME and I will end up missing the boat. I am sure she will be fine.

 

Kathy

 

Which is why I'd only be within walking distance and plan to be back on the ship hours before sail time. Yep, I already thought of that!!

[MOSusan]

I personally wouldn't do it. I'd probably have mine go with me and maybe shop for a shorter amount of time. Twelve is still pretty young, their brains just don't have the capacity to make a lot of the decisions that we take for granted.

[dcedar]

You will get a lot tongue-lashing for even suggesting such a thing! BUT... I have done it.

 

I left my mature 11 year old on the ship while my husband I spent a few hours in port. My son had a full day of activities planned and he was responsible enough to take care of himself. I was told by crew members there are cameras and security all over the ship. My son knows all the rules about strangers and such and I was comfortable enough to leave the ship without him.

 

The first port I left him for two hours, the second about 4 hours, and the third port I was gone most of the day but my 17 year old stayed on the ship.

 

He never got in any trouble and he still talks about HIS cruise:) He spent all of his time at the chess game, getting food, or doing kid activities.

 

I would allow him to stay on the ship by himself again.

[kathyemma]

Which is why I'd only be within walking distance and plan to be back on the ship hours before sail time. Yep, I already thought of that!!

 

If you are just doing to be shopping by the port go for it.

 

Kathy

[floatn]

If you'd leave her in a strange city with a few thousand folks you don't know on land for a few hours, go for it. I think it all depends on the kid.

[Podie]

I agree, it depends on the maturity of the child. When my son was almost 13, I brought him with me on two weeks of Navy duty in Hawaii (where he was born). I left him at the military hotel on the beach each day while I went to work. I let several people in the hotel know he was there alone. He did just fine. He was a late sleeper and a tennis player, so he got up in time for lunch each day, played tennis (he became a valued doubles partner!), rented movies and watched them in the room, and was ready to hang out with me when I returned at 5 pm each day. I think a cruise ship is safer than a hotel on the beach.

[FinallyCruisinIn2014]

If you'd leave her in a strange city with a few thousand folks you don't know on land for a few hours, go for it. I think it all depends on the kid.

 

Well, she is certainly not attached to my hip during the cruise while we are all on the ship. I guess that's what I'm trying to sort out - is this really any different than when we are apart all day on the ship?

Edited October 23, 2014 by FinallyCruisinIn2014

[jticarruthers]

We have left our (now) 11 yearold, (then) 9 yearold in the kids club for a couple of hours while we went ashore in Cozumel.

 

Figured he had supervision in the kids club and wanted to stay on board. Since we weren't doing anything "far away" where there was a real risk of not making it back on board that we were ok with it.

 

Not sure I would feel the same with the unsupervised teen club option. Not afraid of him getting off the ship, but lots more opportunity for unsupervised trouble on a largely empty ship.

[FinallyCruisinIn2014]

You will get a lot tongue-lashing for even suggesting such a thing! BUT... I have done it.

 

I left my mature 11 year old on the ship while my husband I spent a few hours in port. My son had a full day of activities planned and he was responsible enough to take care of himself. I was told by crew members there are cameras and security all over the ship. My son knows all the rules about strangers and such and I was comfortable enough to leave the ship without him.

 

The first port I left him for two hours, the second about 4 hours, and the third port I was gone most of the day but my 17 year old stayed on the ship.

 

He never got in any trouble and he still talks about HIS cruise:) He spent all of his time at the chess game, getting food, or doing kid activities.

 

I would allow him to stay on the ship by himself again.

 

Yes, this. She is very mature. And I would want to know exactly what her plans were going to be. I would prefer that she stay in the teen club the whole time but at her age she can check herself in and out and I know they mostly use that for meeting up and then venturing out and about on the ship.

[masonpips]

Have done both the kid's club route (when younger tweens) and the alone-on-board route with slightly older. We have 2 so we made rules about them being together (going for snacks, hanging in room, etc) and it worked out fine. I'd set some guidelines on where she can go (prefer public spaces rather than hallways, no swimming alone, etc).

[reallyitsmema]

Yes, this. She is very mature. And I would want to know exactly what her plans were going to be. I would prefer that she stay in the teen club the whole time but at her age she can check herself in and out and I know they mostly use that for meeting up and then venturing out and about on the ship.

 

There is really no checking in and out in the teen club. They will look at a sea pass if they think the child doesn't belong, either too young or too old, but that is about it. There is also no organized activity or supervision in the teen area while you are in port until late in the afternoon. The room is usually open for kids to hang out but it is unsupervised.

 

We have left an older teen on the ship while we have done some shopping (16 and 17) but never a tween. We took a cell phone with us so he could call us if there was a problem and made sure he knew how to dial in a foreign country. We shopped in the port area at St Marteen and also shopped in the downtown area in Cozumel (taxi ride away). We made sure we were on board an hour before all aboard and in Cozumel, we made sure we had enough time to walk back to the ship if there was an accident or traffic. We over thought the whole thing but all I could picture was our son waving to us from our aft balcony as the ship sailed away:eek::p

[ronandannette]

We did it with our 9 year old, twice on the same trip (while in port in Ocho Rios and Cozumel). It worked out fine but he was of an age that he couldn't leave Adventure Ocean unescorted. That's something that would give me pause - regardless of how many crew members and security cameras there are, NOBODY is going to be paying the slightest attention to whether or not your DD is doing OK.

 

And although all's well that ends well, in hindsight I wouldn't leave mine again mostly due to the question of what would happen to him if we somehow were prevented from making it back on the ship. If you're travelling with other people who could step up in the event of a "worst case scenario", that would make a difference.

[cindivan]

Personally I would be too stressed to enjoy whatever we were doing onshore if there wasn't someone on the ship from my party available.

 

 

 

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[tpadul]

Since she will still technically be 12 and not yet 13 if she were able to still be in the younger kids club that had supervision and would not be allowed to leave the club then I would probably be OK with it.

 

I wouldn't be OK with my daughter at 13 being left unsupervised while I was off the ship simply because I don't trust other creepy people. Even with my daughter being very mature for her age, she is 17 years old now I remember back when she was 12 just shy of 13 years old when I took her to Cozumel and we were at an All inclusive resort for a week. She was just weeks away from her 13th birthday and I look back on that trip and thought, would I have felt comfortable leaving her at the resort on her own while I took the taxi into San Miguel for shopping in town as it was only about a 10 minute taxi ride from the resort and I have to be honest and say that No I would not have felt comfortable doing that at all. Now when I was on the grounds of the resort I did let her go off swimming and doing activities with the kids club while I was at the resort and reachable.

 

I remember how all the boys that worked at the resort were oogling my daughter and thought she was 18 years old and were fawning all over her and she was only 12 going on 13.. It made me very uncomfortable.

 

Also my daughter just cruised for the first time this past July with her best friends family on the Carnival Glory, she turned 17 on that cruise. She actually had an incident happen to her on the cruise one night when she left her phone in the cabin and left the main dining room to walk back by herself just to grab her phone. She had a very creepy encounter with an older man on the elevator. This man struck up conversation with her, said he was also from Chicago and was chatting her up in the elevator, at first she didn't think much of it, but then he asked her point blank how old she was, she said 16 and he said that's nice, then as the elevator doors opened he touched her arm and asked her to please come to his cabin with him while he get his phone and said they could continue their conversation back in his cabin and then escort her back to the dining room. My daughter quickly said NO and turned around and walked as quickly as she could back to the dining room. She said the man was probably in his late 50's maybe early 60's. This really creeped us out and this man knew very well she was only 16, now what in the world would a man of that age want to do with a 16 year old in his room other than something creepy, dangerous and highly illegal.

 

My daughter thank God was smart enough to realize this man was up to no good and got away quickly but she admitted to me that for a quick minute she was so engaged in his sweet and kind of Grandpa appearance to her that she almost got caught up in his slick and non-chalant approach in trying to get her back to the room and quickly snapped out her silly thoughts and realized this guy was a creep. She said to me, "Mom he sounded so sweet and I just at that moment wanted to go back to the room while he got his phone so we could continue talking, but then I realized he was a creep and got away as fast as I could".

 

So basically, I just don't trust other people and that incident left me with a pit in my stomach, knowing that even on a cruise ship with many other families and other adults around this creep had the audacity to proposition my daughter, that was the one time during the entire cruise she walked anywhere on that ship alone and something immediately happened. She was always hanging out with her best friend and their family and hanging out in the teen club.

 

Knowing what I know now and if she would have been only 12/13 there is no way I would feel comfortable letting her alone on the ship while I was in port unless she was able to stay in the supervised kids club in which they are not allowed to leave until I got back.

[akcruz]

As you can see it is definitely possible to do. Whether you do it is totally a personal decision and don't let anyone on here guilt you into or out of what you feel is the correct decision for you and your child.

 

We have let our kids either stay on board when we were off the ship, or go back on early when in port. They were a bit older and my oldest is the motherly type that watched over her younger brother.

[babyher]

As long as you are going to be right by the ship , I don't see a big deal. Of course like others have said , it depends on the child also.

 

 

My kids were home alone many times at that age for hours because of my work schedule. We had a lot of ground rules during that time, and they did pretty well.

[MommaBear55]

I have three children, two of whom would have been fine at that age with lots of common sense and the other who had a total inability to recognize trouble when it presented itself. For instance she assumed the dirty street person drinking out of a paper bag on the subway was a doctor because he had a pager. Me, I am thinking drug dealer. True story! Took her until early 20s before her danger meter worked well.

 

 

If you are comfortable not knowing where your daughter is for three hours on the ship, then it is no different if you are just outside the shop in the port shopping area.

[mickev99]

OMG, thanks for sharing that story! Glad everything turned out okay. Scary! And I'm sure that kind of thing rarely happens, but when it happens to you or your child, the "Rarely" is important. I will make sure I have a discussion with my niece before our next cruise, she will be 17 and is very naive.

 

Since she will still technically be 12 and not yet 13 if she were able to still be in the younger kids club that had supervision and would not be allowed to leave the club then I would probably be OK with it.

 

I wouldn't be OK with my daughter at 13 being left unsupervised while I was off the ship simply because I don't trust other creepy people. Even with my daughter being very mature for her age, she is 17 years old now I remember back when she was 12 just shy of 13 years old when I took her to Cozumel and we were at an All inclusive resort for a week. She was just weeks away from her 13th birthday and I look back on that trip and thought, would I have felt comfortable leaving her at the resort on her own while I took the taxi into San Miguel for shopping in town as it was only about a 10 minute taxi ride from the resort and I have to be honest and say that No I would not have felt comfortable doing that at all. Now when I was on the grounds of the resort I did let her go off swimming and doing activities with the kids club while I was at the resort and reachable.

 

I remember how all the boys that worked at the resort were oogling my daughter and thought she was 18 years old and were fawning all over her and she was only 12 going on 13.. It made me very uncomfortable.

 

Also my daughter just cruised for the first time this past July with her best friends family on the Carnival Glory, she turned 17 on that cruise. She actually had an incident happen to her on the cruise one night when she left her phone in the cabin and left the main dining room to walk back by herself just to grab her phone. She had a very creepy encounter with an older man on the elevator. This man struck up conversation with her, said he was also from Chicago and was chatting her up in the elevator, at first she didn't think much of it, but then he asked her point blank how old she was, she said 16 and he said that's nice, then as the elevator doors opened he touched her arm and asked her to please come to his cabin with him while he get his phone and said they could continue their conversation back in his cabin and then escort her back to the dining room. My daughter quickly said NO and turned around and walked as quickly as she could back to the dining room. She said the man was probably in his late 50's maybe early 60's. This really creeped us out and this man knew very well she was only 16, now what in the world would a man of that age want to do with a 16 year old in his room other than something creepy, dangerous and highly illegal.

 

My daughter thank God was smart enough to realize this man was up to no good and got away quickly but she admitted to me that for a quick minute she was so engaged in his sweet and kind of Grandpa appearance to her that she almost got caught up in his slick and non-chalant approach in trying to get her back to the room and quickly snapped out her silly thoughts and realized this guy was a creep. She said to me, "Mom he sounded so sweet and I just at that moment wanted to go back to the room while he got his phone so we could continue talking, but then I realized he was a creep and got away as fast as I could".

 

So basically, I just don't trust other people and that incident left me with a pit in my stomach, knowing that even on a cruise ship with many other families and other adults around this creep had the audacity to proposition my daughter, that was the one time during the entire cruise she walked anywhere on that ship alone and something immediately happened. She was always hanging out with her best friend and their family and hanging out in the teen club.

 

Knowing what I know now and if she would have been only 12/13 there is no way I would feel comfortable letting her alone on the ship while I was in port unless she was able to stay in the supervised kids club in which they are not allowed to leave until I got back.

[Goodtime Cruizin]

Well it appears that it's possible to do this. And most of the posts find that the maturity of the child is a key ingredient. Having said this, I wouldn't myself. I'd kind of force the issue and have my child join us on shore. It's a great opportunity to build some family memories. Of course I would make sure that he/she would have something that they could enjoy.

 

Hanging with other kids etc will occur often enough while we're all on board. There is/will be plenty of time for this activity. But trips & excursions to explore other activities and cultures together, is pretty special. I'd be a bit selfish and take them with me. They'd most likely learn something, enjoy it, and if they don't, they'll get over it soon enough.

[tpadul]

OMG, thanks for sharing that story! Glad everything turned out okay. Scary! And I'm sure that kind of thing rarely happens, but when it happens to you or your child, the "Rarely" is important. I will make sure I have a discussion with my niece before our next cruise, she will be 17 and is very naive.

 

Mickev99 you are welcome!! We were very shocked!! When my daughter got home and told me I was floored!! Luckily my daughter is very wise, very mature and very very street smart and EVEN with her being as street smart as she is, I am in law enforcement and my Dad is a retired police Lieutentant 30 years, we are a law enforcement family I have drilled this kind of stuff into her head since she was like 5 years old, even she was just a bit mesmerized by this man, he really was slick and for a hot second my daughter almost, almost walked back with this guy to his cabin so they could continue talking. She is friendly to people and has a very outgoing personality and they were talking about Chicago and she said that he reminded her of her father (he was from the Islands and had an accent like her father).. and for that hot second she almost thought about it... Then she realized HOLY SH*T this guy is a flippin creep and immediately got away from him, but we were sitting there thinking what if he continued to do this as my daughter wasn't as forethinking as an adult and didn't alert any staff to what happened and just walked back to her friends family in the dining room, what would have happened if that man would have gotten a hold of a very naive girl from a small country town without the street smarts that some other teens have and what if...

 

I did call Carnival and report the incident just so they would be aware of it.

 

My daughter has been coming home from school alone and staying home till I got home for a few hours every day since she was in 6th grade and has lots of street smarts, knows how to lock up at home when she was younger, but when you are on a cruise ship with literally thousands of strangers you just, in my opinion can't be that trusting. Anything can happen and I have seen just too many things that happened in a split second. The cruise ships definitely don't have your children's best interests at heart they have work to do and are not going to be looking out when other people are chatting up your kids while walking around on the ship as they don't really know who knows who, and that's not their job, It kind of scares me that some people like that creep that approached my daughter are as bold as they are.. and they are not afraid either of being caught obviously.

 

You can have the most mature kid in the world but you just can't trust that everyone else that you meet is on the up and up.

 

I would totally be OK if I knew the kids club had complete supervision and a kid was not allowed to just walk out on their own at that age.

Edited October 23, 2014 by tpadul

[carumba7]

No way that I was ever going to do it, BUT no judgement to anyone who does. I would not be able to have a good time, thinking "what if" the whole time.

[reallyitsmema]

Well it appears that it's possible to do this. And most of the posts find that the maturity of the child is a key ingredient. Having said this, I wouldn't myself. I'd kind of force the issue and have my child join us on shore. It's a great opportunity to build some family memories. Of course I would make sure that he/she would have something that they could enjoy.

 

Hanging with other kids etc will occur often enough while we're all on board. There is/will be plenty of time for this activity. But trips & excursions to explore other activities and cultures together, is pretty special. I'd be a bit selfish and take them with me. They'd most likely learn something, enjoy it, and if they don't, they'll get over it soon enough.

 

Both times we left our son on the ship while we went shopping, we had already done half day excursions as a family. We had done a bus tour with a submarine tour of a reef in St Marteen and we went deep sea fishing in Cozumel where he caught a beautiful bull mahi mahi which was the largest fish caught on that boat in weeks. We have plenty of family memories of those trips that didn't need to be ruined by dragging a teenager into jewelry stores and all the other tourist traps the ports have to offer.

[pepsicruiser]

Not to throw a wet towel on this thread but there have been incidents of rape and assault on cruise ships. You don't always see this in newspapers but try googling rapes on cruise ships. I agree your daughter can be as mature as anything but when you are on vacation having a grand old time you do let your guard down and think oh isn't this just lovely and I can trust anyone. Well it is not so always. Be careful.