Options for avoiding formal nights

[jwm51]

[quote name='KirkNC']O' yea, dress code is right there with smoking and the wine policy.[/QUOTE]

[B][U][CENTER]This is why I always have my emergency kit handy.:p

Earplugs for the sirens. Popcorn for smoking. Recommendations to stop by Friends of Bill W. When wine and beverage package fights break out.;)

Personally I think if you're going to have formal nights, you need to dress like Astaire and Rogers or don't bother!:eek:[/CENTER][/U][/B]

[Tarpeian Rock]

Wasn't there a strongly-held opinion in a similar thread a few weeks ago that, per HAL's wording, the formal night dress code extends throughout the ship, thus applying to all dining locations? Or was the consensus that, despite the fact that that was what HAL says, they really don't mean it, thus allowing informal clothes in Lido?

[HokiePoq]

[quote name='DaveOKC']I just thought that they might change their mind if they knew that they could get the items from the MDR menu brought to their cabin (usually a very good menu on formal nights).

DaveOKC[/quote]

I didn't know this. Thanks for sharing the info. DH carrying a jacket shouldn't be a problem on our upcoming cruise but one we just finished with a precruise land tour with severe luggage weight restrictions was a problem on another line. We brought the jacket in that case but I couldn't buy anything to bring home.....drat...but I think that worked for him, lol.

[LMaxwell]

[quote name='fireman845'] So when you see us dressed to the nines and you are dresses in sub semi-formal attire in the MDR you are ruining our ambience and I will be that a$$ that will come over and comment that you can't follow simple instructions and are less than the stuff I scrape off my shoes. [/quote]

[FONT=Palatino Linotype][COLOR=#0000ff]"Always be yourself, because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter."[/COLOR][/FONT]

I guess you, and your disgraceful comments, do not matter.

[POA1]

[quote name='Tarpeian Rock']Wasn't there a strongly-held opinion in a similar thread a few weeks ago that, per HAL's wording, the formal night dress code extends throughout the ship, thus applying to all dining locations? Or was the consensus that, despite the fact that that was what HAL says, they really don't mean it, thus allowing informal clothes in Lido?[/QUOTE]
Read your "Know Before You Go" again. It talks about the venue dress codes, both required and requested. When the rubber hits the road, I would not want to be the guy quoting "RockOnJenny8675309" as to why I was sporting cargo shorts on formal night.

Seriously though, there's not a whole lot of ambiguity in the written policy. (Except for "Tropical Casual," which is completely made up.)

[leighw01]

Its all very well if you are only doing the cruise as your holiday. We are coming from Australia and will be away for nearly 3 months and wont be bringing formal wear as it will take up too much room in luggage. Besides my husband doesnt own a suit and hasnt worn a tie for 15 years. HAL was our choice because of the itinerary and timing not so we could dressed up for dinner. We dont do that here at home and these days its not expected - everything is casual.

[serendipity1499]

[quote name='Blue Mudshark']I think it's more accurate to say that the formal nights disappeared; the semiformal nights are clearly there, mislabeled "formal."[/QUOTE]

Oh my, how does your wife live with such PERFECT Husband?:D:D

[UOTE=tommui987;45571257]A rose by any other name ...

With a 40-lb limitation on baggage, it is not practical to bring along a tux (black tie by any other name) especially on a longish cruise.

I always bring along a black or dark blue suit and a necktie for those occasions requiring one.
I even commit the sin of just wearing the coat sans tie on non-formal nights in the MDR.

[B]If you don't wear shorts and a tee-shirt to church or a funeral or a wedding or a fancy restaurant, why shouldn't you at least dress for the occasion shipboard?[/[/B]QUOTE]

[SIZE="3"]I bolded your last statement only because I got a big laugh over it.. :D We always dress up when going to church & funerals.. Haven't been to many weddings lately..:)

When my late Brother-in-law & Sister-in-law came to visit us in SW Fl., I used to drive them to their church.. They were from N.Y. & dressed appropriately..

Last time they were here, I was early to pick them up & waited outside of church.. I was amazed to see so many people both young & middle age coming out of church wearing shorts & sandals..

When DH & DS flew on our airline or another line, both of them were in suits & I was in a dress or pantsuit.. Those were our requirements to fly..

When we fly to a port DH always wears his Jacket on the plane & packs his long pants & dress shirts in our luggage.. Sometimes we take an extra bag, but we are willing to pay for it to be appropriately dressed.. We pay so much for our cruise, so it's no big deal to pay for an extra bag..

Can't believe how so much has changed in our[B] short[/B] lives! :D[/SIZE] Edited July 5, 2015 by serendipity1499

[ithaca gal]

We dont do that here at home and these days its not expected - everything is casual.[/QUOTE]

Nope. It might SEEM sometimes like everything is casual, but trust me, it isn't. There are many of us who still appreciate some of the finer points of dressing a little bit nicer on a couple of nights on a cruise or in our every day lives. everything is definitely not casual.

[Tennessee Titan]

Not being a big "social" person, I enjoy a cruise where everyone minds their OWN business, as I try to do......
(I can see the flames rising!)

[AncientWanderer]

We dress up for the formal nights and have observed that the majority of other HAL guests do, too. Some other cruise lines are more casual.

[janmcn]

We rarely go to Formal Night in the MDR and instead enjoy a quiet meal in the Lido which serves almost the same menu and many times offers us more excellent choices. One can easily see the food and often make choices based on what looks best to you at that moment...often it can be several appetizers.

A few times we order Room Service, though that depends on our room. We enjoy the steak sandwich they offer.

[Tante Amalie]

[quote name='LMaxwell'][FONT=Palatino Linotype][COLOR=#0000ff]"Always be yourself, because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter."[/COLOR][/FONT]

I guess you, and your disgraceful comments, do not matter.[/QUOTE]

Right on.

I'm not sure that guy's for real or just trying to be outrageous.

[Boytjie]

[quote name='threeedogmedia']My husband wore a suit every day of his career so trying to get him in one now is next to impossible. Won't a sport jacket, collar shirt and slacks work? He can carry a tie in his pocket. Will a camel color jacket work or must it be dark? We don't want to be out of line and hack people off but these old customs are why we haven't cruised HAL before. Please no flaming.....it's just our feeling. It's not like we'll be showing up in shorts and flip-flops. There is so much conflicting information that I guess I need reassurance that we will be able to dine where we choose.
Karen[/quote]

Why can people follow a dress code for years at work but all of a sudden they can't do it on a cruise ship for one or two nights?

[leighw01]

I followed a dress code at work for 40 years and when I retired I also retired my work clothes. Now I don't have to follow one and prefer not to be dictated to as to what I can and can't wear especially as I seem to be paying for this privilege.

[possumtop]

[quote name='wyobean']We choose not to partake in formal nights. Living in Wy I can't tell you the last time I saw a man in a suit. The only time I have seen anyone in a tux is for prom. Jeans, sport coat and a cowboy hat are considered formal attire for anything that happens in town(weddings, funerals and church included). So, we don't own the clothes and wouldn't waste the money renting them. We are totally happy eating elsewhere. Oh, and I will pit my cowboy against any of your tuxedo clad gents when it comes to what catches a lady's eye! LOL


Sent from my iPad using Forums[/QUOTE]

As fellow Pokes we totally agree. Wranglers, boots and a hat is formal everywhere we go. Wouldn't waste the money on clothes we would never wear again. Also, I don't understand the attitudes I have seen on this forum. Some people care way too much about what others's wear. I just don't get how strangers apparel can effect the "ambiance" of your night. My cowboy and I make our own ambiance. Doesn't matter what anybody else is doing.Or wearing.

[Catlover54]

I will be with a very old man on a big organized group cruise (hundreds of people) to Alaska for a week (two formal nights). We will have fixed dining assignments with members of our group at 8PM in a designated area.I secured a black jacket, black shoes and black pants for him, collared shirt, and he looks nice in them. The problem is the tie -- it makes him feel like he is choking (he never wore a tie in his line of lifelong rough outdoor work, so is just not used to it). He will do whatever I tell him to (including feeling uncomfortable on two nights so we could get into the dining room to sit with our group) and I will get him to wear the tie if it is **absolutely needed** even with a big group table assignment in a special area. I would just do in-room dining or another venue (my usual choices on other cruise lines on formal nights) if it weren't for missing out on sitting with and talking to the people in the group.

Has anyone traveled with HAL where there was a big group with a fixed dining area, and does it make a difference RE if you need a tie or not with such groups? (As stated, we have the jacket and the rest of the black outfit)

[cranethie]

[quote name='Catlover54']. The problem is the tie -- it makes him feel like he is choking (he never wore a tie in his line of lifelong rough outdoor work, so is just not used to it). He will do whatever I tell him to (including feeling uncomfortable on two nights so we could get into the dining room to sit with our group) and I will get him to wear the tie if p.
)[/QUOTE]

I don't know if they are still sold - but could you look for a pretied tie that has an elastic neckband or even a clip on one. You might be able to get away with not doing up the shirt top button which would help a bit with the choking feeling and if you are with a large group I'm sure no-one would mind if he removed the tie after a while. Don't forget to take your photos beforehand :)
Seems a shame he should miss out on what is usually a great night in the Dining Room.

[JPH814]

[quote name='Blue Mudshark']It's weird.

First, that Holland America's description of formal wear seems to be dumbed-down to include semi-formal. It's not a formal dress code at all. (I'm speaking of formal wear for gentlemen; ladies' formal wear can be a much more complicated issue.)

Second, that eyewitness accounts of the line's "enforcement" of the "dress code" seems limited to requiring a jacket, and simply ignoring the rest of the dress code. Enforcing the code seems to consist of ignoring the code.

Formal wear for gentlemen is pretty simple. It's either "black tie" or "white tie", and "white tie" is almost never expected. So it's down to "black tie", and that's pretty simple. I know exactly what to wear; I don't worry about whether slacks and a sport jacket will be enough, I don't wonder what tie to wear, or whether my suit is dark enough. Little choice makes it so much simpler.

Faced with wondering whether the almost-a-dress-code might be enforced, and what deviations might be acceptable to the "enforcers" if I placated them by donning an ill-fitting jacket over casual clothes, I would always prefer to take the easy way out. I simply meet the widespread standards of black tie. Done. No worries, no questions about whether I'll be dressed well enough to get past the maitre-d'.

All that effort spent trying to just barely meet some maitre-d's arbitrary definition of what's close enough, while doing my best to avoid actually dressing formally, seems like it would be a colossal waste of my time. If an event is formal, that's how I dress, and it's so easy. Black-tie is a boon to men. While the ladies may agonize about a dress, shoes, bag, hair, etc., I know pretty much exactly what I'm going to wear. A few small choices about tie fabric, or cummerbund-vs-waistcoat, if I really want to amuse myself while she's laying out a dozen outfits on every available piece of furniture, and complaining about all of them.

I think part of the problem here is that Holland America explicitly considers semiformal wear to be "formal", which it's not; and casual wear is often accepted as well. They compound the problem with arbitrary enforcement of a single garment (jacket), while pretending that they're actually enforcing the dress code. Putting an odd jacket over casual clothing does no make the outfit formal, nor does it in any way meet the line's published dress code standards.[/QUOTE]

You do a great job parsing the term "formal wear". Unfortunately - for many of us and also for you - HAL does not require "formal" in its dress code. The new language is a more ambiguous term "Gala Attire" which they do define:

"Evening dress falls into two distinct categories: Gala Attire or Smart Casual...."

"Gala Nights evoke the grand traditions of cruising as guests dress to impress for special events on board, including a five-course gourmet dinner in the Dining Room. Jacket and tie are appropriate for gentlemen, while ladies wear a cocktail dress or gown. "

[sofietucker]

[quote name='Catlover54']snip The problem is the tie -- it makes him feel like he is choking (he never wore a tie in his line of lifelong rough outdoor work, so is just not used to it). He will do whatever I tell him to (including feeling uncomfortable on two nights so we could get into the dining room to sit with our group) and I will get him to wear the tie if it is **absolutely needed** even with a big group table assignment in a special area. snip[/QUOTE]


I've seen some men sheepishly enter the dining room with a tie hanging out of their pocket, conveying "I'm planning to comply but haven't had time to dress" or "I have no idea how to put this thang on." Not a good look either way.

But of course the item that causes the choking feeling is not the tie at all. It's the top button of the shirt.

How 'bout a bolo tie? It's considered formal wear in parts of the west (the AZ official state neckwear), and you don't have to wear it "chokingly" tight... It's even allowed to be worn with the top button unbuttoned. Plus it looks pretty cool.

[peaches from georgia]

The tie can be tied as loose as feels comfortable. He just needs a larger neck-sized dress shirt. Any decent Men's store can measure his neck and fit him properly. And he can try several neck sizes on and see what size fits comfortably and doesn't choke him. I bet he's struggling to get that top button buttoned. :eek:

[POA1]

[quote name='peaches from georgia']The tie can be tied as loose as feels comfortable. He just needs a larger neck-sized dress shirt. Any decent Men's store can measure his neck and fit him properly. And he can try several neck sizes on and see what size fits comfortably and doesn't choke him. I bet he's struggling to get that top button buttoned. :eek:[/QUOTE]
Truer words have never been spoken. :) Have your neck size measured. Add one half inch. That should give plenty of breathing room; and no matter how hard you try, it's difficult to puff up more than a half inch in your neck during a cruise.

[Itasca]

[quote name='sofietucker']I've seen some men sheepishly enter the dining room with a tie hanging out of their pocket, conveying "I'm planning to comply but haven't had time to dress" or "I have no idea how to put this thang on." Not a good look either way.

But of course the item that causes the choking feeling is not the tie at all. It's the top button of the shirt.

How 'bout a bolo tie? It's considered formal wear in parts of the west (the AZ official state neckwear), and you don't have to wear it "chokingly" tight... It's even allowed to be worn with the top button unbuttoned. Plus it looks pretty cool.[/quote]

Khaki pants, blue blazer, bolo tie on a light colored sport shirt has worked for me on HAL and Princess. Maybe they know I'm a Phoenician.

[Jean1946]

[quote name='Itasca']Khaki pants, blue blazer, bolo tie on a light colored sport shirt has worked for me on HAL and Princess. Maybe they know I'm a Phoenician.[/QUOTE]

This is what my husband does. He will don a tie for the formal nights. Otherwise, he is in khaki's and golf shirts.

I generally wear some black dress pants with 2 or 3 different types. Anything that sparkles (in my opinion) is dressy! Of course, I'm not a fashion plate, but never feel that I'm over or under dressed.

It's a cruise, enjoy!

[Freqflyer2012]

Nothing like carrying "formal wear" for six weeks around Australia prior to a cruise around New Zealand. Maybe HAL and other lines should consider segregating diners in MDR. It is "Open Seating" after all. Clearly not everyone wants to go formal or dine in their cabin. Oceania's "Country Club Casual" looks pretty well. Unfortunately, their itinerary didn't work for us. Do folks wear dress shoes in the Outback?

[JPH814]

[quote name='Freqflyer2012']Nothing like carrying "formal wear" for six weeks around Australia prior to a cruise around New Zealand. Maybe HAL and other lines should consider segregating diners in MDR. It is "Open Seating" after all. Clearly not everyone wants to go formal or dine in their cabin. Oceania's "Country Club Casual" looks pretty well. Unfortunately, their itinerary didn't work for us. Do folks wear dress shoes in the Outback?[/QUOTE]


Wow -let's change an entire policy to accommodate that scenario! I am sure a cruise after a six week land tour happens every week.