Like Romeo and Juliet

[SuiteTraveler]

Most cruise ship entertainers make $1,600 to $3,000 per month plus room and board depending on the level of skill required for their work and how many they entertain at one time. A comedian who performs solo in the main theater would be at the top of the scale. The "cruise kids" - those making up the chorus or backup dancers and singers or those working stage crew jobs are at the low end. Honestly, these entertainment crew jobs are considered some of the best jobs onboard any ship because they get to mingle with the passengers and socialize a lot with a schedule of short jobs that are not all that demanding (running Bingo, conducting a tour, running a movie, leading a class, making announcements), whereas the rest of the crew live far more regimented lives mostly cutoff from the passengers. Many entertainment crew choose to do these jobs in order to travel as part of their work. IMO, it's not a bad lifestyle as you get to perform and you get to meet lots of people. Yes, it is busy and there is lots of stuff they are expected to do, but on the other hand they get the enjoyment of meeting new people all the time and socializing and once in a while, they get off the ship and can explore some place new. As far as the long hours for low pay - that's the norm for the vast majority of entry level arts type jobs. In fact, a lot of these entry level arts types of jobs don't pay anything at all as most in that industry are willing to work for free in order to get the experience, be reviewed in the newspaper and make connections in the business that they hope will pay off in the future. Those trying to break into fields such as fashion, art and entertainment and even entertainment management often work for years after college as unpaid interns hoping to make the right connection to actually land a permanent position. This is the reality of an arts career.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/16/fashion/millennials-internships.html?_r=0

 

Is one cruise line better than another in how entertainers are treated? Not really and on land, the lifestyle associated with this type of work isn't any better either unless and until the person becomes a celebrity or makes it big in the arts in some other way, but then, while they might finally make some decent money, they also wind up with a whole other set of problems that come with fame and if anything, the demands on the person's time become even more intense.

 

It's not the cruise ship that is your friend's problem. The problem is the type of career he has chosen to pursue.

[navybankerteacher]

I still think you made it all up dear, but I do wish you well and happiness in your life as you choose to pursue it.

 

I share your sentiments - because I genuinely believe she would be much better off if it were fiction rather than fact.

[babyher]

No, I mean when I met him, I wasn't thinking "oh, he's cute, I'm interested in him." It wasn't until we hung out a couple of times till that started happening.

 

Phone calls rely on wifi, so you have to find the wifi. It also depends on whether or not he's working while in port. I have no idea what his work schedule is.

 

I'm fairly certain he's not married. I can't say certain simply because there isn't a lot in life we can be 100% certain about, but I would be extremely surprised to find out he was married. Extremely. I don't want to share everything he's ever said because I want to protect his privacy, but I'm just saying it's highly unlikely.

 

We've had 2 20 minute phone calls. I'd love more, and he said he was going to try to call more often, but I'm guessing there are reasons he can't. Assuming the worst never does any good.

 

 

You have heard the old joke "I met Mr. Right last night.....of course this morning he got up and went home to Mrs Right., and the three little Rights

[CaveDiving]

Somewhat.

I recently went on my first (transatlantic) cruise and ended up falling for a crew member. It's mutual but obviously we couldn't spend much time "alone" together (we were never alone, best we could get was a conversation in the coffee bar). We had a little time on shore when I disembarked, and then this week I flew to a port where I knew they had an overnight, so we got a few hours actually alone. But this is an expensive way to date. I'm wondering if crew members can request any kind of special exemption and permission to visit family/friends/significant others if they board the cruise as a passenger. Or do I have to keep gambling that he will be allowed off the boat (this week he was allowed one day but not the next) and spend hundreds of dollars for a few hours together? I would appreciate any advice. If he had any free time at all, and good wifi, I would be content with sky ping and emailing but they run these guys into the ground and he's rarely connected to the Internet. The wifi on the cruise was REALLY bad, by the way.

So that's my question... Is it possible for him to get permission to enter my cabin if I take another cruise? Thanks

 

Might I suggest that you wait until his contract is over and then get together for a month or two wherever. This way you will not be following the ship for one night stands. And You'll have a bit more time to get to know each other.

 

Scott & Karen

[paluni]

You seem to be over 10 years older than this guy, who some might call a "boy toy." That's something to think about. Men's brains aren't even supposed to be fully mature or set till about age 26 or even older.

[Flatbush Flyer]

Ah yes, a detailed response to each and every questioner that is made to make them seem clueless.

 

And your first posting topic is a soap opera that doesn't even quality as "ask a cruise question". It's surprising the moderators have let this thread stand but it does have entertainment value. It's been fun.

 

 

Yes (and I feel a bit guilty because of the angst and sadness OP is headed for), it is a "soap opera" that grabs your interest. What makes it a bit more tolerable for the casual observer is that OP is not a friend or family member.

[navybankerteacher]

Yes (and I feel a bit guilty because of the angst and sadness OP is headed for), it is a "soap opera" that grabs your interest. What makes it a bit more tolerable for the casual observer is that OP is not a friend or family member.

 

I'd say it's not so much a "soap opera" as a "reality show" episode; perhaps from something like "The Bachelorette". Anyway, sort of like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

 

If it's sham, it's a waste of time; if true, certainly not something to discuss in public.

[donaldsc]

Did you script out this whole thread before you started it? If this is an assignment from your creative writing class - you flunk.

 

DON

[lahlah57]

Butterfly.......I hope I am not asking you to repeat anything but what do you do for a living?

I read when you first posted but had to go to work and didn't keep up!

Do know that an initial attraction is what brings people together but "time spent" is where the proof is in the pudding! Have you been in the book stores and seen how large the romance novel section is? We women escape in romance novels because we know the reality is not!

Initial attraction is simply what keeps the species going;) Yes, but more than that must be seen on a day to day basis to survive!

You are willing to spend quite a bit of $$$ to do your physical and emotional research but can you afford it? Not just montarily but emotionally?

My sister ran up against a romance novel character and it took a turn so devastating it took years to recover, physically....emotionally....psychologically and monetarily. To this day she does not trust men.

Don't you spend all you have but see just how far he will go for his Juliet. Letters.....emails.....texting and phone calls may be the first step but if it is real he will make it! A man must make sacrifices not the female. He is the pursuer not the female. It will never work the other way around.....it's natures way:o

[SeaButterfly]

 

Is one cruise line better than another in how entertainers are treated? Not really and on land, the lifestyle associated with this type of work isn't any better either unless and until the person becomes a celebrity or makes it big in the arts in some other way, but then, while they might finally make some decent money, they also wind up with a whole other set of problems that come with fame and if anything, the demands on the person's time become even more intense.

 

It's not the cruise ship that is your friend's problem. The problem is the type of career he has chosen to pursue.

 

I'm well acquainted with the life of a performer... :-) But on land, you have access to your cell phone between takes, between scenes, between rehearsals, and at home... there are laws and limits to how they can work you (especially if you're in the union). You can also date anyone you like, whether they're a co-worker or not!

 

On a ship... you're trapped and cut off from the world. If you hate the food, you can't shop on the weekend and pack a lunch at night. You live with your employers, they know where you are all the time and you don't get a personal life. That's hard.

[SeaButterfly]

Might I suggest that you wait until his contract is over and then get together for a month or two wherever. This way you will not be following the ship for one night stands. And You'll have a bit more time to get to know each other.

 

Scott & Karen

 

It's probably what will happen. I have some other trips I should save the money for anyway. When he's done this job it will be easier to communicate and sort things out....

[SeaButterfly]

You seem to be over 10 years older than this guy, who some might call a "boy toy." That's something to think about. Men's brains aren't even supposed to be fully mature or set till about age 26 or even older.

 

I know... I didn't realize it (and neither did he) until more recently. He doesn't mind, but I definitely realize that it means I'll need more patience. It's good, patience is something I need to work on, so maybe that's the most important thing I'll get out of this. lol

[SeaButterfly]

Butterfly.......I hope I am not asking you to repeat anything but what do you do for a living?

I read when you first posted but had to go to work and didn't keep up!

Do know that an initial attraction is what brings people together but "time spent" is where the proof is in the pudding! Have you been in the book stores and seen how large the romance novel section is? We women escape in romance novels because we know the reality is not!

Initial attraction is simply what keeps the species going;) Yes, but more than that must be seen on a day to day basis to survive!

You are willing to spend quite a bit of $$$ to do your physical and emotional research but can you afford it? Not just montarily but emotionally?

My sister ran up against a romance novel character and it took a turn so devastating it took years to recover, physically....emotionally....psychologically and monetarily. To this day she does not trust men.

Don't you spend all you have but see just how far he will go for his Juliet. Letters.....emails.....texting and phone calls may be the first step but if it is real he will make it! A man must make sacrifices not the female. He is the pursuer not the female. It will never work the other way around.....it's natures way:o

 

I work online, mostly.

I have a friend who had a horrible experience that devastated her for years... I wish she wouldn't have let it. I've had several of my own but now I'm familiar with the recovery pattern. lol

It's sad that men work that way... I love the idea of a partnership where both people will do anything for the other. I like balance. Humans play too many games... Alas. I have learned to back off more, since men seem to like you more when you ignore them. Go figure.

[SeaButterfly]

I predict this won't end well for the OP.

 

Well, that would only depend on my response to the outcome. Life could be wonderful with this person in it, and life could be wonderful without him. I've gained just by meeting him and knowing him, and if that's all I get then my life is still left fuller than it was before.

[GeezerCouple]

I'm well acquainted with the life of a performer... :-) But on land, you have access to your cell phone between takes, between scenes, between rehearsals, and at home... there are laws and limits to how they can work you (especially if you're in the union). You can also date anyone you like, whether they're a co-worker or not!

 

On a ship... you're trapped and cut off from the world. If you hate the food, you can't shop on the weekend and pack a lunch at night. You live with your employers, they know where you are all the time and you don't get a personal life. That's hard.

 

And that is the job/life combo he has chosen, for now at least.

 

For whatever reason(s), this is what he's chosen.

If he hates it more than other jobs, at the end of his contract, he can switch to another job (on land or sea).

[And if he absolutely couldn't get any other job? Well......]

By the way, is this his first job with a cruise line?

(And what did he do before this particular job?)

 

We all make those choices.

There are trade-offs everywhere: Income, colleagues, adventure (or boredom), more or less comfort, etc....

 

Obviously, some people make lifetime careers in adventurous endeavors, and some manage to have families and close friends, whereas others might not (and, importantly, some of those do not want to be burdened with families).

 

I was going to ask how much longer he has on this contract.

 

Then I remembered that you say he claims that he doesn't know how long his contract lasts.

That's just not credible.

Sorry.

 

IF he truly returns the same emotions (and hopes, dreams, plans to be together in the future), then he *would* be finding out how quickly he could spend a bit more time with you, for starters.

... Just as he would be trying hard to send you more frequent communications, rather than apparently using his communications to "explain" why his communications are almost impossible.

 

Do you *really* think he got on that ship with no idea of "when he'd be allowed to end his employment"?

 

And oh... NO, absolutely, in many other jobs, one can NOT just "date anyone you like, whether they're a co-worker or not!"

There are many places where there are some or many such restrictions, especially regarding co-workers.

[SadieN]

On a positive note for OP

 

Friend met her current husband while she was in a cruise. He was a DJ. At the time they were encouraged to socialize with the guests when not on duty. They really didn't start seeing each other until his contracts were over. They just celebrated their 23rd anniversary.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums mobile app

[navybankerteacher]

 

 

...

 

I was going to ask how much longer he has on this contract.

 

Then I remembered that you say he claims that he doesn't know how long his contract lasts.

That's just not credible.

Sorry.

 

...

 

Do you *really* think he got on that ship with no idea of "when he'd be allowed to end his employment"?

 

...

 

P

 

You have nailed it: does anyone think that a staff member worth associating with would not know the terms of his contract?

[Rosy1013]

I'd say it's not so much a "soap opera" as a "reality show" episode; perhaps from something like "The Bachelorette". Anyway, sort of like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

 

If it's sham, it's a waste of time; if true, certainly not something to discuss in public.

 

Was also thinking this is like The Bachelorette! However, I do hope it works out for you, OP. Please do be cautious though!

[donaldsc]

Well, that would only depend on my response to the outcome. Life could be wonderful with this person in it, and life could be wonderful without him. I've gained just by meeting him and knowing him, and if that's all I get then my life is still left fuller than it was before.

 

Is your fictional story that you have written for your creative writing class finally done. I sure hope that you did not get a good grade for the work of fiction.

 

Does anyone actually believe the stuff that she is writing?

 

DON

Edited July 11, 2016 by donaldsc

[SuiteTraveler]

And that is the job/life combo he has chosen, for now at least.

 

For whatever reason(s), this is what he's chosen.

If he hates it more than other jobs, at the end of his contract, he can switch to another job (on land or sea).

[And if he absolutely couldn't get any other job? Well......]

By the way, is this his first job with a cruise line?

(And what did he do before this particular job?)

 

We all make those choices.

There are trade-offs everywhere: Income, colleagues, adventure (or boredom), more or less comfort, etc....

 

Obviously, some people make lifetime careers in adventurous endeavors, and some manage to have families and close friends, whereas others might not (and, importantly, some of those do not want to be burdened with families).

 

I was going to ask how much longer he has on this contract.

 

Then I remembered that you say he claims that he doesn't know how long his contract lasts.

That's just not credible.

Sorry.

 

IF he truly returns the same emotions (and hopes, dreams, plans to be together in the future), then he *would* be finding out how quickly he could spend a bit more time with you, for starters.

... Just as he would be trying hard to send you more frequent communications, rather than apparently using his communications to "explain" why his communications are almost impossible.

 

Do you *really* think he got on that ship with no idea of "when he'd be allowed to end his employment"?

 

And oh... NO, absolutely, in many other jobs, one can NOT just "date anyone you like, whether they're a co-worker or not!"

There are many places where there are some or many such restrictions, especially regarding co-workers.

 

Exactly what I was thinking, GeezerCouple.

 

And also...if your friend hates being on the ship so much, he CAN quit. It's not like he's been kidnapped by a band of pirates and is being forced to be their slave! He signed a simple contract which he can either finish or quit if he hates it on the ship so much.

 

But really this lifestyle is not so different from many others, from people in the diplomatic corps, to people in the military, people who are nuns, priests and missionaries and even Peace Corps or Red Cross volunteers. Many people thrive in a lifestyle where they essentially live at their place of work. Many people prefer this type of lifestyle to keeping a household on land.

[ratbin]

Dear Butterfly,

If you are still looking at this thread despite all the snark, I can give you some practical information.

My husband worked as a Guest Entertainer on Crystal Cruises for about 8 months. (This was quite a few years ago.) According to the crew, Crystal treats their staff much better than many other lines. However, the crew still works really, REALLY hard. The entertainers (singers and dancers, musicians, etc.) not only performed during the shows, they also did Port Manning - meaning that they stayed on board while the ship was docked and gave fitness classes, led trivia teams and led other activities on board.

Also they got to lead tours off the ship when not stuck onboard. They rehearsed. They had sound checks. They seldom got a proper day off.

Since my husband was a Guest Entertainer (he was hired to perform in a specific show) he was immune from all the extra duties, but he still was expected to be "on" any time he left his room. He enjoyed his time working at sea (It's the only reason I was willing to get on a ship!) but there is no doubt that it's hard work. Since he was on the ship for more than 30 consecutive days, I could come and stay on the ship either with him (for free) or in my own room (for a small sum) if the ship wasn't fully booked. This deal was extended to all the entertainers and some of the crew.

If your friend is serious about entertaining shipboard as a more or less full time gig, there are agents who specialize in this facet of show business. Most of the entertainers on Crystal were union members (Equity, AGMA, AGVA and their European equivalents) even though the job itself wasn't union. So the quality of the performers was quite high.

And for those folks who wring their hands and tell you how awful and how hard a life in the theater is blah, blah, blah....I say nonsense! It's not much different than any other kind of work. Most of us aren't rich and famous but we make a solid middle class income.

I met my husband while we were doing a show together. He was in town for 2 weeks to open the show and then go back to the Broadway company. I was working as a local dresser. We had dinner twice. We are about to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. There were some intermediate steps between, but there you are - sometimes these things DO happen.

[NoobCruise]

"Like Romeo and Juliet"

 

I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen the play, but Romeo and Juliet is classified as a tragedy.

 

My first thought when I saw the title, before I even opened the thread was "Well this isn't going to end well."

[champagne123]

Is your fictional story that you have written for your creative writing class finally done. I sure hope that you did not get a good grade for the work of fiction.

 

Does anyone actually believe the stuff that she is writing?

 

DON

 

My thoughts exactly. As far as her grade for creative writing? Soooooo transparent in every way. I give her an "F".:eek: Could not even come up with an original thread title. "Like Romeo and Juliet"?????? Hardly. "Desperado" would have been a more appropriate title.

Edited July 12, 2016 by champagne123
ffffffffffff

[calliopecruiser]

"Like Romeo and Juliet"?????? Hardly. "Desperado" would have been a more appropriate title.

 

I know you meant that because she seems desperate, but actually "Desperado", the terrific Eagles song, is the antithesis of what's playing out here.....it's about a loaner who has to be convinced to find love, not about someone who is desperate to get hitched.