Make Me Smile Please

[babs135]

Woken up this morning full of aches and pains and with a booked cruise hanging in the balance :( so please indulge me with some funny stories from your cruise.

 

I'll start with a favourite of mine.

 

On a cruise we became friendly with an Australian couple in their late 60s. One morning whilst sitting in the atrium she comes over to us and states that she is wearing her new thongs and they are wonderful and very comfortable. Surprised that DH and myself are clearly taken aback by this statement she asked why as she took her Flip-flops off to show us. After we had both recovered from the shock and then the laughter I gently explained to her that:

 

In the UK thongs = very scanty underwear

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thong_(clothing)

 

Fortunately she had a good sense of humour and I hope that like me she still dines out on the story :D

[ChildofPisces]

On my very first cruise I went to the gift shop and bought a carnival lanyard for my card to hang on.

 

One morning I was cleaning up the table I wanted to sit at for breakfast as the bussers hadn't gotten to it yet and I was saving room for my family to join us later. A woman in her late 70's called me to her table and asked me if I could go back to the kitchen and get her fresh lox, a bagel, cream cheese, onion, and tomato.

 

Being a helpful person I got what I could get for her from the buffet line, and brought it to her and I suggested she ask a member of the crew to help her with the rest.

 

She was taken aback and honestly upset with me that I couldn't go into the kitchen to get the rest of what she requested until I told her I did not work for the ship, and I did the best I could.

 

She looked confused for a moment and even asked why I had on a carnival lanyard, but when it all clicked she was so embarrassed and kept apologizing. I told her it was not a problem at all, as I didn't mind helping

 

I got back to my now full table of family who were very confused by what was going on. When I told them they all laughed and it's become one of those stories we talk about at get togethers.

 

 

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[bazbov]

Hello, Sorry that your'e not feeling well and hope that the cruise stories cheer you up.

 

we were on a P&O uk cruise a few years ago and became very friendly with a cruise director who told us of this story and it still makes us chuckle to this day.

 

An elderly female passenger called Dorothy approached the CD and explained that she had a birthday coming up and would like to arrange a small gathering of people she'd met for a celebration drink, could he arrange it for her. The CD told her to "leave it to him". On the morning of her birthday she approached the CD and was quite upset, when asked what the matter was, she showed the CD the copy of the daily ships programme, which stated " Friends of Dorothy get together," the poor lady thought that the CD had invited anyone on the ship to attend her small gathering and was worried she didn't have enough money to pay for the drinks. Once the CD explained that FOD meant a gathering for the LGBT people on board, she saw the funny side of it and said "how nice for them, of course in my day they called them Marys"

 

Hope you see the funny side too and get well soon xx

[sparky-elpaso]

Our very first cruise - to Alaska.

 

As the ship was getting into position at Hubbard Glacier the Captain announced that there were some sea lions on an ice floe "at 9:00". We were out on deck on the port side of the ship so we looked off to the left and there they were.

 

A lady and her daughter were sitting near us (hubby and other daughter had gone off in search of hot cocoa) and she mentioned to her daughter that since it was around noon or so the announcement wasn't much help.

 

I did some quick thinking on how to explain the "12:00 = bow, 6:00 = stern, etc. I didn't want her to feel dumb but I figured they probably would like to see the sea lions. So I pointed them out and she said she'd never heard that terminology before. When her husband and other daughter returned she told them about it and we all had a good laugh.

[jkadventures]

We were on a cruise this past March to the Caribbean. On a sea day, there came an excited announcement from the Captain about a sight to behold and the CD would be on to explain it all. A very breathless CD starts to tell everyone to look to the starboard side and we would see a rescue mission never undertaken before. An international aid mission was towing an iceberg to bring needed water to a country experiencing a severe drought. Everyone was rushing to the side to see this amazing humanitarian operation and the CD was really playing up the story until he says "April Fools Day"!! [emoji57]. He got everyone good on that story! Hope this cheers you up! Feel better and hope you get to go on your planned cruise.

 

 

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[JimAOk1945]

This is a great thread. Thanks to the original poster for starting it.

 

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[helen haywood]

I was on a cruise on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's sinking. I overheard a passenger wondering if the cruise line would be doing something to commemorate the occasion. I said I didn't think so! Unless it was serving iceberg lettuce....

[Megs867]

Hello, Sorry that your'e not feeling well and hope that the cruise stories cheer you up.

 

 

 

we were on a P&O uk cruise a few years ago and became very friendly with a cruise director who told us of this story and it still makes us chuckle to this day.

 

 

 

An elderly female passenger called Dorothy approached the CD and explained that she had a birthday coming up and would like to arrange a small gathering of people she'd met for a celebration drink, could he arrange it for her. The CD told her to "leave it to him". On the morning of her birthday she approached the CD and was quite upset, when asked what the matter was, she showed the CD the copy of the daily ships programme, which stated " Friends of Dorothy get together," the poor lady thought that the CD had invited anyone on the ship to attend her small gathering and was worried she didn't have enough money to pay for the drinks. Once the CD explained that FOD meant a gathering for the LGBT people on board, she saw the funny side of it and said "how nice for them, of course in my day they called them Marys"

 

 

 

Hope you see the funny side too and get well soon xx

 

 

Oh how funny!!! [emoji2]

 

 

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[bazbov]

Glad you liked it Megs :)

[BruceMuzz]

Several years ago I was managing a cruise ship in Hawaii. One morning, as we approached one of the Hawaiian ports, the Captain announced that he was waiting for the pilot to arrive to take us into the port.

One of our guests - apparently a novice - rushed up to the to top deck to watch the airplane (carrying the pilot) to arrive.

After quite a long wait, he realized - or was informed - that no plane was expected.

 

He headed to the front desk to complain about his inconvenience. He had wasted an entire morning of his cruise, waiting to see an airplane that never came. He insisted that the Captain be fired for duping him and wasting a morning of his expensive cruise.

 

He spent the remainder of the day in my office, insisting on a refund for his cruise.

He didn't get it; literally and figuratively.

Edited October 1, 2016 by BruceMuzz

[Dcoy]

I was on the Queen Victoria World Cruise two years ago. During one of our sea days, the crew was holding emergency drills. A group of us we sitting in the longe listening to the announcements and watching the crew moving around the ship. At one point I asked the group "I wonder if the band ever has a drill to gather on the deck to play music as in the Titanic movies".

 

A few minutes later an announcement was made "Will the music director report to his station". Everyone looked and me and we all laughed.

 

Don

[Megs867]

On a family cruise we were at the beach swimming within about 10 feet of two older British ladies hanging over a raft. The one lady says to the other oh dear your boobie popped out. She chuckles and tucks it back in. My step brother says you have no idea how long I've been waiting for that to happen but I sure hoped it would be someone a lot younger. We all have a good laugh and say I bet she'll be younger when you tell your friends.

 

 

On the same triBelize we take a trip with free rum punch. The trip was not great so were all joking about better drink $80 worth of rum punch. Step brother gives it a try and drinks so much that he can barley stay upright. We get back on the ship and he is stumbling down the hall to the room grabbing on to the railings on both sides. Step sister (12ish) says I have always wondered what those were for.

 

My fav story of my grandmas. My grandparents were on an excursion on their Alaskan cruise and the guide ask is anyone celebrating anything my grandpa who says very little raises his hand and says divorce. My grandma just looks blankly at him along with everyone on the bus and he just laughs. No idea what come over him.

 

 

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[jocap]

We were sailing from the Caribbean to the UK, and needed to lose an hour's time on some sea days. This was arranged between 12 noon and 1pm.

A fabulous shopaholic sat near us many days; one day we told her there was a sale of designer handbags in the atrium between noon and 1pm. Off she fled... returning many minutes later with a puzzled expression and staring at the ship's clock....

[veryseasonedtraveler]

My husband and I were walking up a very steep hill while in port somewhere. A lady from our ship saw our Holland America bag and seriously asked us for directions to catch the ship.[emoji15]