How we have prepared for Ruby Princess!

[WINEMANVISALIA]

HOW*I*HAVE*PREPARED*for Ruby Princess cruise to Mexican Riviera on December 3, 2016

 

1.Our family rented orange life vests with whistles , went out my front door at 4pm; wearing a hat with a picture of Captain Stubbing on it , a clipboard, and ran muster station drill with my wife and kids. We blew our whistles at the neighbors.

 

2.*I*went to several sunday Buffets and practiced stopping in place for no reason at all. Then*I*reached in front of someone trying to get a salad. When they turned and glared,*I*rolled my eyes upwards and started humming The Love Boat theme song.

 

3.*I*went to AAA travel agency, walked over to someone waiting to see a cruise counselor and told him,“I got a great deal on my PRINCESS cruise,*how*much did you pay?...no matter what they said,*I*answered,...yeah, that's pretty good but we got a free cruise because on our last PRINCESS cruise the SOMMELIER TASTING CUP was larger than normal DURING OUR FREE WINE TASTING SESSION and they refused to refund us for the sips of wine we did not get!

 

4.I VISITED my CHASE BANK ATM, inserted my card and posed for my picture. (*I*missed the 'ding' sound, though)

 

5.*I*walked into a mall Department store, put my hand to my forehead and yelled "Oh, when will Macy's start to use their balancers to stop the rocking!

 

 

6.*I*played my favorite Chubby Checker song while I took my shower, soaped down my hips with shower gel, wrapped the shower curtain around me and danced the twist

 

7.*I*watched the Food Network shows where contestants ate a lot of food.

 

8.*I* called Uber and told the driver “Donde esta Margarita con chips and salsa!"

 

9.*I*went to the YMCA pool, pointed and yelled "A whale, a whale"!

 

10.*I*sat with strangers in McDonalds and asked “how u doin?... where are you from?.... first cruise?...I told them knock knock jokes to practice for the Captain's Dinner. My favorite was Knock, knock.*Who’s there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe come out and play with me today?

***don't know why, many people took their big macs and left...one person even called security!

 

11. As they left,*I*told them*how*much*I*hated PRINCESS cruise line and*I*should know because*I*have been on 30 of their cruises.

 

12.Every time*I*went to my toilet,*I*took my DYSON vacuum with me and turned it on when*I*flushed.

 

13.*I*took my kids on a crowded elevator, insisting there's lots of room and smiled as they pressed all the floor buttons.*

 

14.I never left the house without my duct tape, over the door shoe organizer, surge protector, lysol wipes, and night light and Bernie Koppell bobble head.

 

15.*I*woke up at 5AM every morning and crept around the neighborhood, placing towels on my neighbors' patio chairs to reserve them for the day.

 

16.*I*gave my cleaning lady a gratuity envelope and asked her to for a towel monkey and to leave it on the bed.

 

17.*I*rolled up MONPOLY $20 bills and lit them over my fireplace in preparation for my casino losses while playing Doris Day singing Que sera sera!

 

18.*I*issued my wife an Onboard Credit for a future cruise and told her if she closed the deal tonight, she would get more!

 

19. Booked a room at a Motel 6. At check in, asked the guy at the front desk for upgrade. When he said no, told him our travel agent told us we were on The List for a free upgrade. After our overnight stay, returned home and immediately posted a 4-page complaint letter on Motel6 Critic.com detailing everything that was wrong with our trip and*how*our lives are ruined because we did nothing but plan and anticipate for months. We stated everyone we talked to agreed with us.

 

Do you think we are ready?

 

Please feel free to add any other suggestions?

[Yehootu]

1) Left all my mail order catalogs in my mailbox for a month to get ready for the daily deluge of shopping notices in my ship mail slot.

2) Went to Dennys and complained that there was no butter on my table.

[joeyancho]

You forgot : removed my gratuity at dennys because the waiter did not refill my water glass fast enough, even though he had 15 tables to wait on.

[ROWSE]

Tell your family they cannot sit anywhere in the family/living room as you are saving these seats for people who would show up when the program starts or maybe never.

 

 

 

Your thread is VERY funny by the way!

[tdeyette]

Don't forget to call your credit card company and let them know that you will be vacationing in your home town for x number of days... ;)

[JimmyVWine]

Crash a "black tie" wedding reception wearing a Polo shirt and khakis and ask if you're dressed OK.

[toberman]

This thread is hilarious.... What's really good is I think the OP picked a really good user name - WINEMAN !!

[easyboy]

Stand in line in a restaurant then wait to be seated.

[RMM34667]

I started wearing my work access card on my Princess Lanyard.

[MJC]

Cut in line for the bus and tell the driver I'm Elite.

[Lucky TGO]

This is to Funny:D :D I can't stop laughing. I love it. It's good to be around people like yourself life is getting just to serious. We need a little humor in it sometime. :) :)

Thank You,

Tony

[Cruisin' Chick]

You need to go to a local public swimming pool and put towels on all the chairs to reserve them....and then go away for several hours.

[Robinsoncruiseso]

Lovely...just the chuckles I needed tonight. Hope you have an excellent cruise. With your sense of humor, how could you not.

[WINEMANVISALIA]

We practiced The Bingo Prayer

As I lay me down to slumber,

All I need is one more number,

When aboard I go,

I pray the Lord that I can yell BINGO!

[Siora7777]

I've gone to a few buffets to get me prepped for what's to come.

 

I've reviewed menus online so I'll know what I will want to order. I'm still undecided on a few menus.

[Brian1713]

You need to practice pushing your way on to the elevator as people try to get out.

[milogurd]

[Lucky TGO]

 

I can see some of the passengers with smoke coming out of there ears!! Looking at that towel :) LOL. OK were can I get one and I know Alaska Joe will want one to.

Tony

Edited November 4, 2016 by Lucky TGO

[KurtMo]

I threw all my towels on the shower floor because I want fresh ones...

[baronessk]

Thought the same thing at first. I found then on Amazon. Then I thought I'm just not willing to pack my own beach towel AND I'm sure it would just piss a whole lotta people off. I'm on my cruise to enjoy myself, not partake in confrontations.

[cruiseintoheaven]

Practice for the IC: Peer into the fridge and ask a family member if you can have a plate of......and......maybe just a taste of......

 

 

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[Alaskan Joe]

 

 

I can see some of the passengers with smoke coming out of there ears!! Looking at that towel :) LOL. OK were can I get one and I know Alaska Joe will want one to.

Tony

 

Yes Tony I will take a few of them although my wife and I are not out door lounge chair people. Here is my plan, I will get up early and go put them on the chairs. Then later I will come out when it starts to get busy and when I see people walking around looking for a chair I will walk up and say something like "The nerve of some people thinking they can just save chairs like this". They most likely will chime in and then I will say "screw this take the towels off the chairs, here you guys enjoy the seats", I will look like a freak'n hero:D.

[Alaskan Joe]

Oh yeah I forgot, I am going to prepare for the Ruby by having my wife start making 5 course meals, making the bed (by herself), and getting my beers for me. Now she can prepare by going downstairs to get a fresh brew cup of coffee, just like we are going to have to at IC........Honey please grab some kind of croissant sandwhich while your down there:D.

[ccruisequeen]

Who gets to place the chocolate on the beds?

 

 

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[RetiredNTraveling]

Rolling on the floor Laughing my a_ _ off@!

And crying until it hurts!

 

Great forum for a Rainy Monday!

 

Just Mike