Allure: Confessions of a solo passenger

[HappyEyes]

Unfortunately, for as long as it takes to upload the photos and fix all the spacing that the copy/pasting messed up, each update takes longer than I like. I will update again in a day or two, I think.

 

 

 

Great tip for next time! I would have loved the chips and guac earlier in the day. They were soooooo good and I was soooooo full from all that food.

 

If there were paddle boards to rent, I do not remember.

 

I'm over here waiting for Hucifer's next post like I'm waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones...

[Medvedik]

I'm over here waiting for Hucifer's next post like I'm waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones...

 

:')

 

As long as we don't have to wait another year for this conclusion!

[Tys Mom]

Oops! Duplicate post.

Edited May 26, 2018 by Tys Mom
Couldn't delete my duplicate post.

[Tys Mom]

I've just finished reading through this entire thread. I've laughed out loud many times: Thank you for that. I'm hooked! I can't wait to read your next report, but sad it will be over soon.

 

I have been considering a solo cruise, but being more of an introvert, have some reservations. You've made me reconsider my reservations.

[hucifer]

Wow! Just found this thread today and read it all in one day. Shhh.... don’t tell my boss. Hands down THE BEST review that I have had the pleasure of reading! Thanks for sharing with us!

WOW, thank you for that VERY generous compliment. You do know there's more to come, right?

 

I'm over here waiting for Hucifer's next post like I'm waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones...

Aww, sorry. Life gets busy. I don't do this on purpose, I swear!

 

:')

 

As long as we don't have to wait another year for this conclusion!

 

Nope nope nope! I won't do that again! I can't take the guilt, lol

 

I've just finished reading through this entire thread. I've laughed out loud many times: Thank you for that. I'm hooked! I can't wait to read your next report, but sad it will be over soon.

 

I have been considering a solo cruise, but being more of an introvert, have some reservations. You've made me reconsider my reservations.

So glad you are enjoying it! I'm afraid this thing ends with a whimper, rather than a bang. But I will finish it soon.

 

Go to the solo board...you will find that most solo travelers are introverted and absolutely love cruising. What's great about cruises is that you can set your own agenda and socialize or be alone as much as you want. I have no doubt that you will love it! Maybe start with a shorter cruise like I did, and then wish it was longer, like I did.

[hucifer]

DAY 7: THE SECOND CLOSEST I GET TO HAVING SEX

“What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means liar.”

--Lewis Black

 

I do what I do best, I show up early for breakfast. Richard arrives on time, but in my world, that’s like five minutes late. I order my usual, if you can consider ordering the same meal two times as “usual,” and Richard and I engage in more chatter. To be honest, it’s been months and I cannot remember what we talked about, but I do remember that we have quite a few philosophical discussions about obtaining incurable diseases from unsanitary clubs. Okay, not really. We discuss family, God, divorce…things like that. We eat, we talk, we sit, we talk. Must have been there for two hours. But my final choir practice is at 10am, so I have to go. I ask if he wants to meet for lunch and he says yes. We establish a time and decide to meet at Windjammer’s little sister, Vitality Café. Also known as Windjammer Lite. Or Windjammer Junior. I am a big fan of alliteration, myself.

 

Back to Jazz on 4 for choir. Linda is excited that we all came back. So excited, in fact, that she makes us learn another new song and incorporates choreography into our music. Yes, choreography. This is not child’s play, folks. This is FOR REALS. The hour goes well. When the hour is over, it’s time to sing in front of our family and friends. That is, if we had any.

 

[sniff]

 

Our little performance goes well. So well, in fact, that one woman in the audience shouts, “ENCORE!” Because, well, she was instructed to before the show. So we end with one last song, “Supercalifornication.” I would say that they all stand and cheer and throw flowers, but that would be a lie.

 

“Hello Mom? Hi! Yes, you missed the performance. Oh, I would say it went well. I was discovered by a talent agent who wants me to star in the next Justin Timberlake video. Aren’t you sorry you didn’t come?”

 

I go back to my interior2 cabin and turn on the TV. Why? You ask. Or maybe you don’t ask. You may not care. I want to see the Cruise Director show that the Compass has been advertising all week but I have been missing. I catch the middle part and wait patiently for the Viewer Shout Outs at the end. Grants picks up my card and says, “This one is from Hucifer. That’s an unusual name. Is it German? Anyway, Hucifer asks, ‘Is Robo single and, more importantly, heterosexual? Asking for a friend.’ Well, Hucifer. Yes, he is single and yes, he is heterosexual. But take it from me, Robo is CRAZY.” Jimmie looks at the camera and nods emphatically.

Then they both start laughing.

 

Okay, I am not really sure what that all means, but I would still take Robo’s crazy, sexy self back to my interior2 cabin. I didn’t really plan on talking much, anyway. And I would appreciate if Jimmie and Grant would pass along the news to Robo that he has a female admirer. Then maybe I can get my chance to personally experience a little crazy before I go.

 

This is the kind of crap I do on sea days

As usual, I show up early for lunch. I see my new besties there, the next door neighbors. Not that I can remember their names. They are seriously very nice people and wish I had more time to get to know my steerage neighbors and their names. They leave and I wait for Richard. He is prompt, shows up on time, and we claim our table with silverware and pick out the lack of offerings at Windjammer Junior. I was very surprised at the limited choices here. Not that I’m terribly hungry. Breakfast was filling.

 

Richard and I eat our lunch and talk. For like three hours. My extrovert side is very happy. Then I look at my watch and see that the Ice Games show is about to start, and does he want to join me? And why am I always the aggressor here with the invitations? Apparently he doesn’t mind because he keeps accepting all my invitations.

 

My new friend joins me for Ice Games. I like the show overall. Much better than the Dragon one. But here’s a complaint: between each scene, they roll virtual dice to make it seem like the next scene is completely arbitrary. They project an image of rolling dice and play a sound clip of the dice being shaken. (“You landed on…Giovanni’s restaurant!” And then we are rewarded with a scene of an Italian restaurant which is another not-so-subtle advertisement for RCI.) The complaint is that these in-between scenes are long, I suppose necessarily so in order to have enough time for costume and scene changes, but the audio for the rolling dice is very loud. And the sound clip is on a loop. Over and over you hear it. Like a Labadee parade. The whole show feels like a Royal Caribbean commercial. Craziness, I know.

Marketing, ice show style

 

After the ice show, Richard and I part ways. We basically leave our next encounter to the gods since he isn’t assertive enough to name a time and place and I’m tired of taking control of this relationship.

 

I get ready for dinner and stop at THE GRANDE after inhaling smoke from THE CASINO. I say good-bye to Gerry and Xin, as this is the last night on the ship.

Me and my dinner peeps

Tonight is my sequel dinner at 150 Central Park. If it this event had a name it might be 150 Central Park, Part 2: Duck the Deuce. I keep thinking about that duck confit. And Robo.

 

[Robo walks into 150 Central Park just as my duck confit is served. He removes his sunglasses and looks around the restaurant. When he sees me, he drops his clipboard, runs over and says, “I heard your message on the show this morning and I’ve been looking for you all day. I wanted to let you know that I’ve been interested in you since the Sexiest Man contest but didn’t know how to tell you. Here, let me help you with that.” He picks up my fork, stabs the duck, lettuce, and raisins, and feeds it to me, bite by bite. “When you are finished eating, let’s go for a walk. I have so much to share with you.”]

 

Vlad and I are reunited and I am thrilled to have him again. He puts the menu down on the table but tells me not to open it. In fact, he keeps his hand down on the menu as if he is keeping demons from escaping out of it. “Now if you remember earlier this week,” he says, “we talked about the aged rib eye.”

 

“Oh, I remember,” I say. I didn’t forget the duck, either.

 

“So you may open this if you wish, but that is the recommended entrée for this evening.” Vlad is still holding down the menu with most of his body weight.

 

“I’m all over it.”

 

“May I recommend the butternut squash soup tonight? It has a delicate texture and a wonderful taste.”

 

“Vlad, I trust you empathically. Bring me the soup and the rib eye.” Vlad tells me I made an excellent choice, picks up the menu that he never allowed me to touch, and starts to walk away, but I grab his arm to stop him. “And the duck confit, of course.”

 

“Of course,” he says. And leaves.

 

Vlad comes back shortly and drops off the bread, butter, and salts. He asks me if I need another rundown of the salts. “Nope,” I say. “gray and black. All over it.” He gives me a polite nod and walks away.

 

The first dish Vlad brings me is the butternut squash soup, which is an appetizer he has been recommending all week. It has a little honey drizzled on top. I don’t understand the need to sweeten something that is already sweet. Like brown sugar on sweet potatoes. People, those sweet potatoes are sweet enough. You wouldn’t think to sprinkle sugar on Yukon gold, so why sweet ones? Anyway, I am not particularly thrilled to order it because the beet salad and tuna tartare sound pretty amazing too, but Vlad has yet to steer me wrong. And let me tell you folks…his track record is safe. This soup is AMAZING. And that little drizzle of honey on top? Makes the soup EVEN BETTER. I have never had butternut squash soup like this. So smooth and so delicious.

 

Bowl of deliciousness right here

Vlad looks down and sees that my bowl is literally licked clean. Yet he asks how it was.

 

[stands up and grabs Vlad by the collar, demanding to know why he didn’t force me to order this soup five days ago]

 

I say, “Meh, I’ve had better.”

 

Vlad swaps my empty bowl for a fresh plate of duck confit. Vlad leaves, but Robo doesn’t show up to feed me. He isn’t outside the restaurant, peering into the window. He isn’t wandering Central Park, calling my name. I am beginning to think that Robo isn’t looking for me at all. So I pick up my fork: duck, lettuce, raisin, stab stab stab. Eat. Repeat. Mmmm. Deliciousness.

 

After another coitus-inducing plate of duck, Vlad returns to swap another empty plate for a full one. And he finally presents the dish he’s been raving about all week. The rib eye.

That plate was no match for the meat

Do you see how this meat is bigger than the plate? I think it weighed more than me. It was so good (how good was it?) that I ate the whole thing, except for that hunk of fat. Don’t ask me how I stretched my stomach that much. Especially after a bowl of soup and a plate of duck confit. I threw down that meat like Popeye to a can of spinach. Garfield to a lasagna. Scooby to a Scoopy Snack. Alf to a cat. Anyway, you get my point. That rib eye was incredible. It came with some wacky sauce, but I didn’t touch it.

 

When Vlad comes by to see how I’m doing, how can I adequately express how good this is? Besides saying, “This is good.” Do I stand up and give him an uncomfortably long hug? Show a little leg? Promise him my next of kin? Invite him to my Justin Timberlake video filming? Write a letter to Tide?

 

You may be shocked, but I was not leaving without dessert. Don’t ask me how I had room for it. I asked Vlad again…do you recommend the mango tres leches cake? You know, as if the tres leches cake got suddenly awesome in four days. Once again he says no. Either the donut or the chocolate tart. So I start to whine, “But I really loooooooove tres leches cake.” So Vlad promises to bring both, but also says that he warned me.

 

Do I even need to say it? Say it with me:

 

Vlad was right.

 

That tres leches cake on the right doesn't live up to its promise. Like a few men I know.

The mango tres leches cake may LOOK delicious, but it wasn’t. I don’t know how you can make a dessert suck, but they did. I even gave it three or four bites, just to make sure. But yes. Every bite sucked. When Vlad returned shortly, I had to admit that he was right, I was wrong, and I was never to doubt him again.

 

[hangs head in shame]

 

After the chocolate tart, I told Vlad he was my new best friend and I promised that I would write every day.

 

[random citizen] What kind of a best friend can he be if you can’t remember his name?

 

[flips off random citizen]

 

As I was walking out, I see folks that I played trivia with at another table. I stop by, say hello, then patiently wait for the recognition to sink in. You can see it in their faces…when this week did I meet this strange woman who cruises alone and has a weird fetish for Mexican cruise director staff members? After they realize who I am, we exchange a few pleasantries and then I leave them with parting words of wisdom:

 

“One word: duck confit. That’s two. Wait. Two more. Butternut squash soup. Oh, that’s three. And chocolate tart. That’s like nine or something. Anyway, heed my words, folks.” And then I leave. Not exactly pithy.

 

Robo wasn’t waiting outside. But a parade was going on at the Promenade! Don’t ask me why I used an exclamation mark. It really wasn’t exciting at all.

I stopped at the pub and was invited to sit with another couple that I played trivia with. They invited me to their table and we chatted for awhile.

 

So yes, I played a lot of trivia all week and you’re probably wondering (all three of you who are left) why I don’t really mention it on my trip report. And here is my answer: I don’t know. Actually, it is because I never thought I would write about my experience on The Beast, so I didn’t bother taking any notes about the week. All I have are my photos, my aging, feeble memory, and some correspondence I had with folks back home. I purchased the Voom package so that I can chat with friends and family during the cruise and so that I could post about my vacation on Facebook and make everyone super jealous and stuff. That’s how I roll.

 

I kept looking for Richard, thinking that SURELY I would run into him. And no, I won’t stop. I rather like calling you Shirley. After some pub and pilsner, the adult comedy show in the main theatre was calling my name. And I figured out why Robo wasn’t looking for me…he was hosting the show and probably too busy! With that satisfying thought behind me, I enjoy the final show of the cruise. Very dirty comedy. I love it. No buttcheeks were harmed in the making of the show.

 

It’s almost time for bed, but not without a final evening in my favorite venue. I walk down to Jazz on 4 and enjoy the last performance of Brasil ’17. I stay all the way to the end. They finish their last set, the lights come on, and everyone files out of the club. Don’t make me go back to my interior2 cabin! I’m not ready to go home!

 

 

Coming up: DAY 8: How Richard Earned His "Name"

[JD26]

Thanks for your review. I just started reading it today. Like a good book, I couldn’t put the iPad down. We are leaving June 3rd.

[Stallion]

As a solo cruiser I feel that you should write a version with a tad more "Writer's Embellishment" regarding what REALLY happened with Richard, ROBO or Mystery Cruiser X-after all whose to say it DIDN'T happen?

 

 

Stallion aka Richard (but not that Richard)

[Welly9]

have done both of these sites, private excursions, loved them both, totally different, but enjoyed!

Commonalities - drinks were endless/plentiful and food was very tasty! All delivered! Make sure you tip!:D

 

Plan on going back to Nachi Cocum in Dec this year!

 

I hate to hijack hucifer’s fantastic thread, but I have a question for you.

 

Cozumel and Costa Maya are two of the four ports of call on my Harmony December 2019 cruise. I’m not a huge fan of spending time at the beach, and we’re already stopping at CocoCay on this cruise, but I am still considering either Nachi Cocum or Maya Chan based on rave recommendations. Why else would you recommend Maya Chan over Nachi Cocum? Is the price the same for both? If it helps, I’m a 40 something female and will cruising solo.

 

TIA!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[hucifer]

Thanks for your review. I just started reading it today. Like a good book, I couldn’t put the iPad down. We are leaving June 3rd.

 

You picked a good time to read it since I started this thing last fall and am finally getting to the last day. I have just one more installment and then I will be finished at last.

 

As a solo cruiser I feel that you should write a version with a tad more "Writer's Embellishment" regarding what REALLY happened with Richard, ROBO or Mystery Cruiser X-after all whose to say it DIDN'T happen?

 

Stallion aka Richard (but not that Richard)

If you think this report isn't already full of embellishments, then I have a perfectly behaved 11yo boy to sell you. Artistic freedom has already given me the looks of a 29yo. Should I ask you how you obtained your username?

 

You are definitely not THAT Richard, as I changed his name to protect the guilty and make a personal statement about his character.

 

have done both of these sites, private excursions, loved them both, totally different, but enjoyed!

Commonalities - drinks were endless/plentiful and food was very tasty! All delivered! Make sure you tip!:D

 

Plan on going back to Nachi Cocum in Dec this year!

You guys have certainly made me interested in trying it. :confused:

[Stallion]

I think you need to be introduced to Sid whose doing a Live Solo from the Carnival Vista this week. The guy is quite entertaining but unfortunately nobody showed up for his Table for 8 on Formal Night. Oh I guess a "mixed relationship" would never work between a RCCL and Carnival cruisers-but both of you are REPRESENTING the single crowd well.

 

 

https://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2638445

[accio_7]

have done both of these sites, private excursions, loved them both, totally different, but enjoyed!

Commonalities - drinks were endless/plentiful and food was very tasty! All delivered! Make sure you tip!:D

 

Plan on going back to Nachi Cocum in Dec this year!

 

Thank you for your review, Welly!

[hucifer]

I think you need to be introduced to Sid whose doing a Live Solo from the Carnival Vista this week. The guy is quite entertaining but unfortunately nobody showed up for his Table for 8 on Formal Night. Oh I guess a "mixed relationship" would never work between a RCCL and Carnival cruisers-but both of you are REPRESENTING the single crowd well.

 

 

https://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2638445

Thanks Stallion! I have been replying to his thread. My only complaint is his mystery face. I need a visual.

 

Empty dining tables is becoming more of an epidemic on ships. It's a bummer for extroverts like me.

[Welly9]

Thank you for your review, Welly!

 

NP :D

Just to concur on what someone else wrote about Mayan Chan - bumpy drive there, so make sure you dont have to pee badly!, :')

and a lot of seagrass washing up ashore, some places where they dont maintain en route, it dries and gets stinky - but overall, very relaxing spot...

[Welly9]

And Hucifer, you are too Funny...you go girl!

need to Sync cruises and join us - we rock the ship!

[hucifer]

And Hucifer, you are too Funny...you go girl!

need to Sync cruises and join us - we rock the ship!

Thank you!

No doubt we would. I'm always up for a little ship rockin.

[Welly9]

Thank you!

No doubt we would. I'm always up for a little ship rockin.

:cool:

You know what they say - 'Dont come a knocking - ..."

[CarpeCerevisi]

Reading this I am reminded of a great song by Joni Mitchell off the Blue album titled “The Last Time I Saw Richard”.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[hucifer]

:cool:

You know what they say - 'Dont come a knocking - ..."

But I say, "the more the merrier."

 

Reading this I am reminded of a great song by Joni Mitchell off the Blue album titled “The Last Time I Saw Richard”

Was it on a cruise ship? Cuz that would be pretty coincidental.

[hucifer]

DAY 8: How Richard earned his name

 

“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.”

– Elbert Hubbard

 

It’s disembarkation day and I now possess the thighs of steel (TOS) that I talked about in the beginning. I bragged all week to total strangers about not taking an elevator. Like they cared. There was one day near the end of the trip when I was walking down and a crewmember was a flight up, but walking down at a faster rate than me. When he caught up he said, “Race you!”

 

Oh, it was ON. Throwing safety to the wind, I ran down as fast as I could – praying my shoes wouldn’t trip me down – and skipped the last several steps of each flight by jumping onto the landing. The officer tried to keep up, and was doing a decent job for the first several flights. But the poor fool had no idea who he was challenging. He clearly didn’t notice my TOS. He finally cried for mercy and stopped running. That was extremely satisfying. I may have laughed at his feeble attempt to beat me.

 

This day is so depressing. I drag myself to the Windjammer for my Groundhog Day breakfast. My personal coffee guy says good morning. I’m sure they don’t care about the folks coming and going each week, but I feel a personal sense of loss with this one. Never learned his name, and therefore don’t have to blame my poor memory on forgetting it, but wished I had gotten to know him a little better. I thought about engaging him during meals, but he always seemed so busy. It must be hard to see a whole new group of 6,000 people week after week.

 

I run into Julio for the last time. I tell him that I would like to take him back home so he can happily clean my condo every day too, if he’d like. He smiles and nods politely as if he didn’t speak a word of English. But I knew he understood and secretly wanted to.

 

I am one of the last to leave The Beast since my flight is like 4pm. I wait in the theatre, which was the last time I saw Robo, and text family and friends that I have safely arrived back at Fort Lauderdale. When my number was finally called, I pass Elian. I haven’t mentioned him before, but he is another member of the cruise director staff who is aesthetically pleasing. Jimmie sure knows how to keep the female passengers happy. Anyway, I have been giving Elian the eye this week as well, but the lack of interaction with him meant that he didn’t make it to my trip report. Until now. I’m pretty sure I told him he was hot too. I’m also pretty sure he is married and didn't care.

 

Okay, now this is when The Beast lives up to her name. If I thought getting ON the ship was bad…lord. That was nothing. I have never had to stand in line to disembark while still on the ship. We are literally stopped. With nothing to look at but lifeboats. When we eventually are corralled off…well…holy crap balls!

 

This line would be a whole lot more tolerable if Robo was with me.

I have never experienced such a cluster. Ever. According to the correspondence I had with friends and family, I was in that line for an hour. When the line finally snakes all the way to the customs area, we see why. There were like three guys taking passports, but two of them went on break. Now there is…ONE. Now, I may not be a constraint expert, but…I can clearly see where the bottleneck is. Just before I get to the one line, another line finally opens up. But I am eyeing the gorgeous man in uniform right in front of me. And MERCIFULLY I end up at his desk. I hand him my passport, flash my best smile, and wait. He literally glances at my passport and hands it back. “What?” I ask. “That’s it?” I want to follow it up with, “I don’t look suspicious? You don’t need to spend more time with me? Take me to one of those little rooms and cavity-search me?”

 

But he smiles back and tells me to have a nice day. DAMMIT.

 

But wait. I am not done with lines. Oh no, my friend. I have to wait in a very long line for the airport shuttle.

 

So I wait in that line. And the worst part about this is that I am the last one taken. I would have MUCH preferred to be passed over for the shuttle leaving now and be first for the next empty bus. Why? You ask. Or maybe you don’t ask. But I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because there is literally one empty seat left. Which is in the very back of the bus. There are three seats in the back row, but two very large people sitting in it. The man is so large (how large is he?) that he is sitting in two of the three seats. One of which was mine. I walk all the way down the bus and the man does his best to scoot over toward his girlfriend, but he is so large that he is quite literally on half of my seat. I cannot sit on half of a seat, so half of my rear end is on the edge of half of a seat. It was the longest ride to the airport. Ever. What made it even longer was that there was a train stopped on the train tracks on our road. It was just sitting there. On the tracks. In our way. And my half of a rear is on the edge of half of a seat. And my buttcheeks are screaming. And not because of keychains. I’m already crabby because:

• I’m going home
  
• No celebration or recognition for my newly acquired Emerald status
  
• Robo never acknowledged his number one fan
  
• I waited all morning in lines and I wasn’t properly searched by the hot customs guy
  
• Lobster bite night memories
  
• I’m going home
  

Our driver waits for the cars in front of it to turn around. Then he has to maneuver that huge bus into a U-turn on a two-lane road. Think Austin Powers in a golf cart in a tight hallway. We are NEVER getting to the airport, and my rear is going to go numb before we do.

 

When the bus makes its first stop at the airport and a few people leave, I jump out of my half of a seat and run to an empty whole one. The driver is terrible. I am fairly confident that my stop is the fourth one, but he barely acknowledges the airlines when he gets to the fourth stop. If I hadn’t seen him remove my luggage from the bus, I wouldn’t have known for sure. I’m normally a decent tipper, but I was so irritated about the entire bus experience that I didn’t give him anything. So let’s add THAT to my growing list of irritations.

 

Now I have all day at the airport. This would be a good time to pull out the laptop and start writing about the cruise. That is, if I knew I was writing, and if I brought my laptop. Very quiet day. The only real noteworthy thing about it is there was a creepy man at my gate who kept taking photos of women’s rear ends without their knowledge. Which made me wonder if my rear is on some creepy guy’s Instagram account.

 

When I got home, that’s when the urge to write hit me. It was so strong that it actually surprised me. Like…I totally need to document this. I didn’t have the desire after my previous solo cruise on the Independence. And that, surprisingly enough, was my best cruise ever. Five days on the Independence surpassed this one. Why? That question had been bothering me for awhile. But I think I understand why now.

 

I am mostly an extrovert. An extrovert who travels alone. That means I rely heavily on strangers to draw energy from. Not a problem on cruises. I have met so many wonderful people on cruises and have engaged in some very interesting conversations. The solo trip on the Independence was phenomenal because I found both her crew and her passengers to be above-average. No matter where I was on the ship or who was around, most folks were engaging and very willing to communicate. My extrovert side was satisfied beyond belief. Not so much on the Allure.

 

Maybe it’s because Allure attracts a different demographic, or maybe her layout is less conducive to fraternization, or maybe I somehow seemed less approachable. But it seemed as though families kept to themselves and didn’t seem interested in going outside of their social circle. I felt as though the Independence had more engaging people. Perhaps because there is less to do, less to focus on.

 

So faithful readers…still have burning questions? Yes I had an amazing time. Yes I have more solo travel in my future. Yes I still wish that Robo wanted to have my children. Yes, Richard ghosted me a few days after the cruise was over (some men are intimidated by a 47yo woman who looks 29). And yes, I really do plan on taking my 11yo son on the Oasis in August. If there was ever a cruise when I WON’T be getting any action, I can pretty much guarantee it will be that one. God bless my little blocker.

 

In the meanwhile…back to life, Robo-free (dammit). But enjoying my goofy boy and looking forward to how different the dynamics will be on the next cruise. Hoping I have something to write about. And that I don’t kill him before the cruise is over.

Me and the blocker

Presenting...the now-defunct Mean Streak from Cedar Point.

So thank you, folks. For sticking with me through months of absence, for enjoying my sarcasm, for putting up with all my jabs. For jabbing me back. You people humbled me. Made me laugh. Gave me a reason to keep posting. And I loved it.

 

Hope you enjoyed the chicken. Because I don’t think it was chicken.

 

[curtseys]

 

[drops mike]

[sharse]

Loved your review. Thank you! In two weeks my 13 year old and I will board the Allure and I can’t wait!

[Rbullenut]

Raise your hand if you also checked for replies everyday for 2 months and then finally lost hope. I am so happy that you came back and finished the review.

[ktkep26]

I really enjoyed your review. I can’t wait to hear about your adventures with your kiddo, it will give me some ideas for when I take mine.

[accio_7]

Hucifer, that was amazing, I am so happy that you finished your review! Loved reading every bit of it, I hope you and your son have a blast on Oasis!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[NouCruzer]

DAY 8: How Richard earned his name

 

 

But I am eyeing the gorgeous man in uniform right in front of me. And MERCIFULLY I end up at his desk. I hand him my passport, flash my best smile, and wait. He literally glances at my passport and hands it back. “What?” I ask. “That’s it?” I want to follow it up with, “I don’t look suspicious? You don’t need to spend more time with me? Take me to one of those little rooms and cavity-search me?

 

 

 

If the Customs agent was planning to do a cavity search, perhaps you should have gone to the dentist before your cruise....