Allure: Confessions of a solo passenger

[NouCruzer]

hucifer,

 

all kidding aside, this was a great read. Thanks.

[Slugsta]

Thank you, Hucifer, for the time you have put into this review (Eventually. Not that I am complaining, just sayin' . . .), I have enjoyed it enormously. I hope you have a great cruise with your son but you had better take your laptop this time as your fans will be waiting for the review :evilsmile:

 

As an aside, I travel with OH but we both need to spend time with others too. Cruising is, usually, great for this, we would be very sad if that were to change :(

[rmf11699]

Thank you and enjoy the cruise in August. Hope you continue writing!

 

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[dani negreanu]

 

[curtseys]

 

[drops mike]

 

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for such an entertaining review :D

[hucifer]

Loved your review. Thank you! In two weeks my 13 year old and I will board the Allure and I can’t wait!

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. Is it just the two of you?

 

Raise your hand if you also checked for replies everyday for 2 months and then finally lost hope. I am so happy that you came back and finished the review.

I am glad you readers came back too! Wouldn't have been near as fun without you guys.

 

I really enjoyed your review. I can’t wait to hear about your adventures with your kiddo, it will give me some ideas for when I take mine.

 

Thank you for reading it. I plan to write, but it will take time to collect my thoughts and start preparing a report once it's over. When do you take your kid(s)?

 

Hucifer, that was amazing, I am so happy that you finished your review! Loved reading every bit of it, I hope you and your son have a blast on Oasis!

Thank you very much, accio! I love to hear that people enjoyed something that I loved writing. Patrick and I are very excited about our trip and talk about it all the time.

[hucifer]

If the Customs agent was planning to do a cavity search, perhaps you should have gone to the dentist before your cruise....

NOW you tell me?

 

hucifer,

 

all kidding aside, this was a great read. Thanks.

Thank you so much! You have no idea how much I enjoyed writing it.

 

Thank you, Hucifer, for the time you have put into this review (Eventually. Not that I am complaining, just sayin' . . .), I have enjoyed it enormously. I hope you have a great cruise with your son but you had better take your laptop this time as your fans will be waiting for the review :evilsmile:

 

As an aside, I travel with OH but we both need to spend time with others too. Cruising is, usually, great for this, we would be very sad if that were to change :(

The pleasure was mostly mine. I had so much fun writing it. What was strange to me was how strong of an urge it was to write about my cruise when I got home. Like I had said earlier, I love to write, and I love cruising, and the passion for both fueled the desire to document it all. But having people like you as an audience was the icing on the cake.

 

You may have convinced me to take my laptop on the cruise. I am seriously considering it now, as it would definitely give me a head start on the report.

 

Cruising is a nice way to travel together and apart at the same time. Back when we were married, me and the ex spent a lot of the day apart, him in the casino and me reading in the Schooner Bar.

[hucifer]

Thank you and enjoy the cruise in August. Hope you continue writing!

 

That is a wonderful compliment, thank you. I hope I continue to have the passion to do so.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for such an entertaining review :D

Aww, you're welcome. :)

It was meant to entertain, so I'm glad I did my job.

 

Lord, I write so sarcastically that I was afraid of offending people. I wasn't sure if I should tone it down or not. Then I said, screw it. Write how you write and let people accept it or reject it, but at least give them a warning. That's why I had the "disclaimer" in the beginning. So when people started to react favorably, I knew I had made the right decision.

[ktkep26]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. Is it just the two of you?

 

 

I am glad you readers came back too! Wouldn't have been near as fun without you guys.

 

 

 

Thank you for reading it. I plan to write, but it will take time to collect my thoughts and start preparing a report once it's over. When do you take your kid(s)?

 

 

Thank you very much, accio! I love to hear that people enjoyed something that I loved writing. Patrick and I are very excited about our trip and talk about it all the time.

 

I am looking at late next year or after we have a big land vacation planned this year. It would just be myself and the boy, the mister is not going to get on a boat (and I am thankful for that lol).

[Biker19]

I wasn't sure if I should tone it down or not. Then I said, screw it.

Glad you didn't.

[rkkunk]

Your glowing review has definitely convinced me to try this excursion if I ever go back to Costa Maya.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Between me and you, I didn't really dance at all. It was based off of the comment that I danced after I saw that Poppy and Branch had a meet and greet on day 2. Although, I am not afraid to make a complete ass of myself in front of strangers, and I have been known to break out into a sad solo flash mob in public places. Much to the embarrassment of my (now) 11yo.

 

 

 

Oh My Gosh! You sound just like me!

 

My son really didn’t get embarrassed about my antics until he was in high school. He is 16, and now gets embarrassed when mom starts be-bopping to a song I like! You would think he would be used to it by now, I have been doing it all of his life! Haha!

 

We just went on a cruise on Harmony a couple of weeks ago. As we were getting onto one of our flights I was be-bopping and one of the flight attendants smiled and said she liked my style. I mentioned something about embarrassing my son and she just laughed, but the other fight attendant gave me a look and said something about how we shouldn’t embarrass our children. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I just laughed at her. She probably spit in my drink later. LOL!

 

Loved your review! So entertaining! Loved your writing style! Thanks for all of your hard work!

 

BTW, just found this review a couple of days ago, so I didn’t have to wait for you to finish!

 

We just tried 150 CP for the first time on our Harmony cruise, loved it!! And we have been on Allure 3 times in the past. We have always loved Giovanni’s, so have always stuck with that.

 

 

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[Ocean Boy]

That is a wonderful compliment, thank you. I hope I continue to have the passion to do so.

 

 

Aww, you're welcome. :)

It was meant to entertain, so I'm glad I did my job.

 

Lord, I write so sarcastically that I was afraid of offending people. I wasn't sure if I should tone it down or not. Then I said, screw it. Write how you write and let people accept it or reject it, but at least give them a warning. That's why I had the "disclaimer" in the beginning. So when people started to react favorably, I knew I had made the right decision.

I speak fluent sarcasm.

[John&LaLa]

Oldie but goody

 

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

[oceanblue33]

After reading your review we all thank you. Hey Hucifer when you publish your first book send me a copy.

[AutumnNight]

Thank you for an amazing review! I have been following this post from the beginning and so glad you came back to finish it! I'm sailing on Allure in October with 7 other people. Your review makes me even more excited to cruise!

[hucifer]

I am looking at late next year or after we have a big land vacation planned this year. It would just be myself and the boy, the mister is not going to get on a boat (and I am thankful for that lol).

 

Enjoy all of your vacations!

I could not IMAGINE not getting on a ship.

 

Glad you didn't.

Thanks! Me too.

The CC boards are a bit more conservative than I am used to, which is why I hesitated to begin with.

 

Oh My Gosh! You sound just like me!

 

My son really didn’t get embarrassed about my antics until he was in high school. He is 16, and now gets embarrassed when mom starts be-bopping to a song I like! You would think he would be used to it by now, I have been doing it all of his life! Haha!

 

We just went on a cruise on Harmony a couple of weeks ago. As we were getting onto one of our flights I was be-bopping and one of the flight attendants smiled and said she liked my style. I mentioned something about embarrassing my son and she just laughed, but the other fight attendant gave me a look and said something about how we shouldn’t embarrass our children. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I just laughed at her. She probably spit in my drink later. LOL!

 

Loved your review! So entertaining! Loved your writing style! Thanks for all of your hard work!

 

BTW, just found this review a couple of days ago, so I didn’t have to wait for you to finish!

 

We just tried 150 CP for the first time on our Harmony cruise, loved it!! And we have been on Allure 3 times in the past. We have always loved Giovanni’s, so have always stuck with that.

 

That stuffy flight attendant clearly has all the wrong priorities. Embarrassing our children is our God-given right.

 

Thank you for the kind compliments; glad you enjoyed it and glad you didn't have to wait for me to finish. :)

 

Ahh...I love 150 CP!

 

I speak fluent sarcasm.

That's why we understand each other so well.

[hucifer]

Oldie but goody

 

Oh, I am a smart@ss. And I'm super good at it.

After reading your review we all thank you. Hey Hucifer when you publish your first book send me a copy.

Aww, I get applause. [blushes]

I don't plan on writing any books, but you will be the first to know if I do. After my mom.

 

 

Thank you for an amazing review! I have been following this post from the beginning and so glad you came back to finish it! I'm sailing on Allure in October with 7 other people. Your review makes me even more excited to cruise!

THANK YOU for sticking with me. It means so much!

You should be excited! Cruises are awesome! Now, go find Robo and tell him that I'm still available.

[Biker19]

THANK YOU for sticking with me.

Enough have done so, that you are now one of the rare ones with a review with 100K+ views.

[Slugsta]

Enough have done so, that you are now one of the rare ones with a review with 100K+ views.

 

 

Yes, but at least 99000 of these were from people looking in to see when Hucifer was going to come back and finish the job! :evilsmile:

 

Hucifer, I too am glad you didn't pull your punches in your review. It wouldn't have been nearly as much fun if you had done so :)

[alaska_planner]

just started your review and am enjoying it immensely...

got to the fact that you're a michigander (as i used to be)....

so gratifying to see the brilliance michigan produces (as i demonstrate as well ;p ).... pure michigan...

[Cel_cruise]

Loved this review - both for its comedic timing and the content!

 

What I think I need more of - how did Richard really earn his name??? More details needed...

 

 

 

 

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[davy jones]

Enjoy all of your vacations!

 

Embarrassing our children is our God-given right.

 

 

I think of it as our duty. They are now adults, but we continue to do things that make them blush.

[hucifer]

Enough have done so, that you are now one of the rare ones with a review with 100K+ views.

Yes, that is surprising.

 

Yes, but at least 99000 of these were from people looking in to see when Hucifer was going to come back and finish the job! :evilsmile:

 

Hucifer, I too am glad you didn't pull your punches in your review. It wouldn't have been nearly as much fun if you had done so :)

Thank you! I love that people appreciate my style.

And about your first comment...I appreciated that people kept checking and worrying about me! It was sweet. And made me feel guilty when I came back.

 

just started your review and am enjoying it immensely...

got to the fact that you're a michigander (as i used to be)....

so gratifying to see the brilliance michigan produces (as i demonstrate as well ;p ).... pure michigan...

 

Hello (former) fellow Michigander! Glad you are enjoying the trip report. (I can't really call it a "review" since Allure was more of a backdrop to the story than the focus of it.)

 

Loved this review - both for its comedic timing and the content!

 

What I think I need more of - how did Richard really earn his name??? More details needed...

Thank you Cel!

 

Oh that "Richard." When he stopped replying to my texts, I asked him if I had done anything to offend him. No response. Ever. Which is weird, because he gave me so much of his time on the ship. Either man up and say, "I didn't like it when you said x," or risk getting publicly ridiculed on a cruise forum. Your choice. Because getting ghosted by a grown man is ridiculous.

 

I think of it as our duty. They are now adults, but we continue to do things that make them blush.

Actually, I like to embarrass my parents too, so I dish it out to both generations.

[Memsailor]

She is back! I have 15 pages to catch up on. Been off line myself since my Solo back in February.

 

Anyway welcome Hucifer, look forward to getting caught up when it’s not 1am.

 

 

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[Robinhill]

THE CONFESSION BEGINS…

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”

– Oscar Wilde

 

[taps microphone]

 

Hey folks.

 

[cringes at feedback]

 

 

 

Thank you for stopping at my trip report. For those that enjoy unorthodox trip reports with a healthy dose of sarcasm, welcome.

 

[curtseys]

 

As you get to understand the tone of my writing, this is where you will either be all in, or bow out immediately. My writing is not for everyone, and that’s okay. Really.

 

[gives the stink eye to folks leaving]

 

This trip report is about the Allure cruise I took back in late September. For those of you who like more timely reports, I will excuse you as well.

 

[pauses while more readers leave room]

 

So, what is there? Four of you left? Well, welcome. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal. Wait…what?

 

[covers microphone while listening to someone backstage]

 

Sorry, try the chicken.

-----------------------------------

 

It really is possible to never step foot on an elevator on the Allure for an entire week. I have the thighs to prove it. These thighs could squeeze your head so hard that your brains would squirt out from your ears. They are so ripped that if you punched them while I was flexing them, you would break your hand. But please don’t punch my abs. I ate too much.

 

I cruise solo, thus the title. As a single mom, this is my respite. It is my own schedule and agenda. I don’t have to put up with the boy’s whining, eye-rolling, or misbehavior for a whole glorious week. Let’s leave that to the adults. Throughout the week I will get a lot of “You’re vacationing ALONE?” It’s weird for people. And that question is usually followed by one of two reactions: either they are impressed that someone would travel solo (“You are so brave!”), or they are jealous of the opportunity to have all that time to yourself (“You are so lucky!”). Sometimes I get both reactions from the same person (“I wish I had the nerve to leave my husband for a week.”), which is often followed with an eyeroll and a nod toward said husband.

 

So while I am at home and detoxing from a week of rich, salty, greasy deliciousness, I am gathering my thoughts about the time I spent on The Beast. Because dammit, Allure is a beast. Remember? Thighs of steel? (ref. previous para.)

 

When I embarked onto The Beast, I was lowly Platinum status [spits on ground]. By the time my thighs of steel carried me off the ship a week later, I reached a slightly more respectable Emerald status [curled lip]. Not that Royal recognized this great achievement during the cruise with a congratulatory memo, an appreciative nod, or even a private event at Dazzles. And let’s be honest, people. In the scheme of things, as long as I’m Emerald [curled lip], I’ll always be Not Quite Good Enough To Be Diamond. So pity me. Fools.

 

I’m not really sure that many will have an interest in my sordid tale. I am not a big drinker, but I do appreciate good cuisine and live music. As an extrovert, I adore meeting people. As an introvert, I have an uncanny ability to stare at and breathe in the sea for hours at a time without a soul around. And I freaking love cruising.

 

Hucifer and the boy she is leaving behind.

 

 

 



He loves cuddles and hates cruises. Honest.

 

 

 

Up next: The Fluff Stuff

 

i am a grand mom and LOVE cruising solo! I can do what i want, when i want and gamble as much as i want without feeling guilty!

[ILvBeingMom]

Thank you hucifier for such an entertaining and fun review. I only discovered it a few days ago, and actually printed it to read while on a flight for work. People would look when I'd giggle out loud. LOVE! I travel along many times a year for work. Sometimes meet up with distributors and the like, but there are many a time I eat alone. I'm taking my first solo cruise Dec 9th on Harmony of the Seas and am looking forward to actually have an endless list of choices to do whatever or do nothing. I'm hoping to "unplug" from work for awhile, which these days never seems to be possible. Thank you again, for bringing your trip to life.

Laurie