Kids free to roam - what age?

[AmyNcutt]

Hello all

 

This will be our first cruise in several years. Now that my boys are older (13 and 11), would it be safe to let them explore the ship on their own at times? They are very close and I know they would stick together, they are also good kids and don't go looking for trouble. Just curious what your thoughts.

 

101 days to go!!!

[klfrodo]

Would you let them roam NYC, Chicago, or LA on their own?

[Jerseygirl1416]

Would you let them roam NYC, Chicago, or LA on their own?

 

Countless kids that age walk to school everyday some alone in those cities you mentioned. Some even ride city buses and subways on their own to school so I don’t know what your point is with that statement.

 

To the OP I would let my boys and have if they were together but that’s just my opinion.

[lcpagejr]

Of course....But I would set boundaries and have them check in with you frequently. AS long as you will be in the same spot and they know where to come to see you it would be fine. But if you were going to go to the Casino and just let them roam the ship.... It wouldn't be in either of your best interest for that to happen. Thats why they have the kids clubs...to keep the kids occupied and allow you some freedom while they are at the club

[JaniceB]

Our friends let their 11 year old twins check themselves out of kids club and go to activities on their own. I guess it depends on their maturity. A side note when my then 8 year old was on her first cruise I told her to stay with our friends older daughter who was 17. They didn't want to sit in the lounge while we listened to music and waited for our late seating dinner. It turned out to be a nightmare. I didn't know but the 17 year old had been drinking and she took my daughter down into the crew area. My daughter was scared but more scared to leave her alone. Finally a crew member saw them and made them leave. She found me and told me what had happened. We are very lucky the only thing that happened was they went in a restricted area.

[klfrodo]

Countless kids that age walk to school everyday some alone in those cities you mentioned. Some even ride city buses and subways on their own to school .

 

ya think!

 

believe it or not, there are millions of people who live outside of major metropolitan areas and are not as "street smart" as those living their everyday lives in the "big city".

 

So,, Are you comfortable with your kids cruising these cities on their own? or are you not comfortable?.

[CJHAN]

My son startes to do his own thing on cruises at about 14. But if you trust your kids to do the right thing no matter where they are then it shouldn't be an issue.

 

Sent from my SM-G935P using Forums mobile app

[cb at sea]

I never let my kids "roam"....I do allow them to come and go to activities, or other places for specific reasons....but never to "roam"....lay down your rules for them, and trust (but verify, by frequent check ins) that your rules are being followed.

[springs741]

We set very clear rules when the girls were younger. Some of those rules included:

1.You will never go into anyone's stateroom or invite anyone into ours.

2.You will not go on passenger decks except to return to our rooms.

3.If/when you leave the kids club you will find us and let us know where you will be.

4. You will always treat others with respect.

5.I will be checking on you. If you are not where you said you would be or if you are misbehaving you will spend the rest of the trip attached to me. Neither of us will be happy about that.

 

Even as they got older (15 and 18) the all rules applied. And yes I did a room checks on a 15 and 18 year old. .

 

Only you know your comfort level and the maturity of your children. Try it for short periods of time and as they reassure you with their actions you can allow more freedom.

[Havingfun2010]

Hello all

 

This will be our first cruise in several years. Now that my boys are older (13 and 11), would it be safe to let them explore the ship on their own at times? They are very close and I know they would stick together, they are also good kids and don't go looking for trouble. Just curious what your thoughts.

 

101 days to go!!!

 

When kids walk to school, they usually walk a set path, and others are around. Same goes for other areas. But the question is this. You and your kids are now in a foreign country, on a shipped flagged in a foreign country, with a group of people from multiple cities across the country and the world and you have never met any of them. Your question is would it be safe. It's not 100% safe in your hometown and now you are away in an atmosphere completely different.

 

Don't ask this question on a message board. Ask yourself, and follow the same rules you follow at home. Would you drop you kids off in a city a few towns away, tell them to "explore" and meet back here at a certain time? Your question is exactly that, so as a parent, what is your comfort level?

 

By the way, I don't want to be the person to say this, but "good" kids are only in the eyes of the parent, and their dream world. For others, your "good" kids are not so "good". I never thought my kids were good, and surprising, they did things that weren't always so "good". They are very well adjusted adults now, married, and well off, but they were not "good" all times, especially when we weren't looking.

[kimba9615]

Our daughter was 12 on our last cruise and we let her go to and from certain places by herself. We would not let her roam and she had rules just as posted above. The Carnival message app was fantastic. She had to message us as soon as she got to where she was going and if she wanted to go somewhere else she had to text and ask permission. Mostly she would go up and grab pizza and come back, or she would go to the water slides while we stayed at the pool, stuff like that. She made a friend pretty fast the first day and one night they really wanted to go to the 10:00 movie Beauty and the beast by themselves. I walked them there, found out where they were sitting peaked in on them after about an hour then met them after the movie to walk them back. I think you have to know your child, give them rules and see how they do. We live in San Diego and my daughter walks to and from school by herself and she has similar rules there to so she knows how to handle herself.

[BallFour4]

Countless kids that age walk to school everyday some alone in those cities you mentioned. Some even ride city buses and subways on their own to school so I don’t know what your point is with that statement.

 

 

There’s a girl from Jersey sounding off! Like that.

We let our daughter go from public area to public area at that age. We did walk her to and from the cabin until she was a little older. We also had a friend along on cruises after she was 15.

.

[klfrodo]

 

 

By the way, I don't want to be the person to say this, but "good" kids are only in the eyes of the parent, and their dream world. For others, your "good" kids are not so "good". I never thought my kids were good, and surprising, they did things that weren't always so "good". They are very well adjusted adults now, married, and well off, but they were not "good" all times, especially when we weren't looking.

 

:loudcry:

I've been waiting many years for that first honest post of

"My children are such monsters that Grandma won't even watch them."

[AmyNcutt]

Thanks for the feedback. We would set up rules and boundaries. So sorry if I didn't specify all the details of what my plans were to some of you! I would not set my kids free at 8am and let them roam a ship for hours on end and say good luck with that! It would mostly be to go grab a slice of pizza or a soda or to play a video game.

[IDKaren]

Are they followers? If so think twice. Last cruise they were running in pre teen packs...running and knocking on doors, pushing elevator buttons, being generally obnoxious and disrespectful. Final straw..they were loosening all the lids on salt and pepper shakers in the buffet..I called them on it and they puffed up and mouthed off to me. At dinner I found their sets of parents and told them. Two sets were generally apologetic and said they are normally GOOD kids but got caught up in the pack mentality and followed! The other sets were basically..how DARE you blame MY kids. First two were never seen with the others again but the others remained little jerks. Questions is...if your “good” kids meet up and follow others..will they remain good??

[JerseyGirlJen]

Just as in "real life" you have to start giving your kids more freedom as they grow up, and if you think they are ready then give it a shot. Like you said, getting a slice of pizza or going to the arcade is a good place to start. I'd have them check in and text when they get to their location, when they are leaving, etc. If they show maturity and responsibility then that is a good thing. I would instill the fear in them that "I'm always watching, don't play in the elevators, don't run and talk loudly in the hallways, etc." and make sure they are conducting themselves in a nice manner.

[lcpagejr]

Just as in "real life" you have to start giving your kids more freedom as they grow up, and if you think they are ready then give it a shot. Like you said, getting a slice of pizza or going to the arcade is a good place to start. I'd have them check in and text when they get to their location, when they are leaving, etc. If they show maturity and responsibility then that is a good thing. I would instill the fear in them that "I'm always watching, don't play in the elevators, don't run and talk loudly in the hallways, etc." and make sure they are conducting themselves in a nice manner.

 

Simple and excellent advice

[charmed101]

Just as important as how much do your trust your children at certain ages is how much do you trust the 3 - 5 thousand passengers and crew that you don't know !

[famof4togo]

Just as in "real life" you have to start giving your kids more freedom as they grow up, and if you think they are ready then give it a shot. Like you said, getting a slice of pizza or going to the arcade is a good place to start. I'd have them check in and text when they get to their location, when they are leaving, etc. If they show maturity and responsibility then that is a good thing. I would instill the fear in them that "I'm always watching, don't play in the elevators, don't run and talk loudly in the hallways, etc." and make sure they are conducting themselves in a nice manner.

 

I totally agree...its scares me the lack of independence the new generation has these days....heck they even have "millennial" classes now to teach these kids how to do things for themselves..I fear this helicoptering is going to create a generation of 30 year olds who live at home...but of course its to each their own and only you know your child and what is best for them....

[teknoge3k]

My oldest started going off on his own when he was 12 on the ships. He has a blast and we have some rules. He cannot take drinks from anyone, go into anyones cabin, let anyone in our cabin. He knows on port days we're going off the ship as a family and doing things. Other than that, he looks forward to getting up early and going to the water slides, getting ice cream, pizza, etc. We see him when he comes in at night for bed. He has his phone and we can communicate with him on the Hub app to make sure he's good throughout the day.

[JerseyGirlJen]

I totally agree...its scares me the lack of independence the new generation has these days....heck they even have "millennial" classes now to teach these kids how to do things for themselves..I fear this helicoptering is going to create a generation of 30 year olds who live at home...but of course its to each their own and only you know your child and what is best for them....

 

I agree in the lack of independence. I work in the medical field, and every day, EVERY DAY, I have mothers calling to make doctor appointments for their 20, 24, 26, 30+ year old SONS. It's really unbelievable. For the most part it's not mothers of daughters, it's mothers of sons. And it's not Father's calling, only Mothers. For example, they'll tell me that their son is a stockbroker (you're dealing with my personal finances and you aren't mature enough or have enough PRIDE to even make your own damn appointment, you are perfectly fine having your Mommy do it?!? Um, yeah, I will never choose you to be my broker if you're that immature.) They are kept on such a leash that they have no confidence in themselves and they have no drive to be a responsible adult. And don't tell me that your son can't use his phone at work....he has to have bathroom and lunch breaks, and if he has enough time to call you during the day he has enough time to do this on his own.

[Saint Greg]

Some of them are all over the place. At all ages. At all hours of the night.

[famof4togo]

There is a curfew...its 1am for anyone under 18 but not sure how well enforced this is?????

[kimba9615]

Funny little story about giving your kids freedom ... As I posted earlier, our daughter was 12 on our last cruise. She made a friend early in the cruise. They hung out and went everywhere together. We met up with her family and we all hung out a lot of the time. On the last sea day our daughter woke up and got dressed right away. That is something that she never does. Getting ready in the morning, no matter where we are takes a lot of prodding. She said she wanted to have breakfast with her friend then go to the pool. She had proved herself being responsible all week and really surprised us actually so we said ok. Normal rules of texting us and checking in still applied. So my husband and I decided to get ready and to to the MDR for breakfast then meet the daughter at the pool. So we are walking to our seats in the dining room and I hear "Hi mom!" I look over and had to do a double take, her and her friend are sitting there like two little adults having breakfast. They had their napkins on their laps and were enjoying themselves and acting appropriately.

 

I think we need to give our kids little bits of independence and teach them how to act so they can become productive people in our world.

[CruiseGal999]

:loudcry:

I've been waiting many years for that first honest post of

"My children are such monsters that Grandma won't even watch them."

 

Makes me think of that TV show ... Malcom in the Middle. :D