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SteadyBetty

Safety and the Solo Cruiser (Female)

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I was part of a conversation recently with a few ladies.  We have all cruised solo and with family/friends.  One lady asked what precautions do we take when we cruise solo.  She, herself, said she brings men clothing/shoes for the cabin to appear she is not traveling alone.  She has decorated her cabin door with his/hers names and even a pic of a couple.  When getting a bar drink, she makes small talk to the bartender that her husband will be along shortly to order his drink.

 

I found this interesting, but a bit odd.  What say you?  Have any of CC solo cruisers felt unsafe or wanted to give the impression they are not alone?

 

Thanks!

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Uh ... if she’s worried about crew and ship staff, they already know how many people are in the room ...

 

(To be clear, there are cases of female passengers being assaulted by crew, but they are rare.)

 

 

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Wow, that's different (especially since a cabin attendant would be able to figure out/know she was traveling solo) but if it makes her comfortable. 

 

I have been traveling solo for over 10 years via land and sea. One of the only precautions I always take, but I do it at a bar at home too, is to not leave my drink unattended if I am going to the restroom. I'll either finish it or just order a new one when I get back. Sure I've done the "I'm meeting a friend or boyfriend is coming along" if the taxi driver or guy at a bar/restaurant is giving me off vibes but otherwise I don't really do anything different. I always live by the mantra "Just because I am on vacation does not mean others around me, including crooks, are on vacation." Basically enjoy the moment and what you are doing but also be smart.

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I did mention to her the attendant already knows how many will be sailing in that cabin.  She shrugged and said so what.    I guess it gives her peace of mind.

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That's an interesting thought process. I couldn't imagine doing that. I do like the idea of not leaving a drink unattended and think that makes sense but I couldn't imagine bring extra mens clothes. Heck, I'm already nervous about my luggage being overweight and not having someone else's bag to shove heavy shoes in. I guess if it makes her more comfortable then good for her. I have wondered if cruising alone (doing my first solo in June) will have an impact on how attentive the room steward/bartenders are, I've never really had issues in the past but it will be interesting to see.

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I don't live my life in fear.  I tend to trust in the human decency of others and treat them accordingly.  But then, I don't get the drinks package, I am an introvert, I spend a lot of time on my own.  I have had some stewards subtly try to hit on me, but that was some years ago. Even then, I didn't fear for my safety afterwards. I always keep the cabin well locked.  I also keep anything of value out of sight and locked either in safe or more often, in my luggage.  I do this everywhere and in poorer countries, I pretty much lock up everything. I have volunteered in Africa, travelled to some pretty poor places.  Usually theft is opportunistic, so remove the opportunity. Despite being north of 60, I have learned to not be surprised when men see what they can get out of a North American woman traveling on her own (must be rich and/or lonely).  It doesn't take much for them to back off and pretend nothing was said.

I am not stupid, but I cannot live in a state of paranoia, distrust and trepidation.

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I don't live in fear either...sounds like your friend is very insecure (in my opinion).  If it gives her peace of mind,

then I guess she is going to do whatever she feels best, but all the things she mentioned? That is way over the

top (again, just my opinion).  But you used that term "odd"....I definitely think it is odd.

 

Bringing men's clothing with me? No thanks...…don't own any and not going to buy some for this purpose. And

I don't decorate my cabin with anything.

 

One of my favorite spots is finding a bar/lounge and chatting with the bar staff---not for any other reason than chatting

(and having a drink LOL).  I don't care if they know I am solo. I have never had any issues with it and I have sailed

solo for 17 years.

 

Different strokes...…….

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, SteadyBetty said:

I was part of a conversation recently with a few ladies.  We have all cruised solo and with family/friends.  One lady asked what precautions do we take when we cruise solo.  She, herself, said she brings men clothing/shoes for the cabin to appear she is not traveling alone.  She has decorated her cabin door with his/hers names and even a pic of a couple.  When getting a bar drink, she makes small talk to the bartender that her husband will be along shortly to order his drink.

 

I found this interesting, but a bit odd.  What say you?  Have any of CC solo cruisers felt unsafe or wanted to give the impression they are not alone?

 

Thanks!

 

Gosh, more than a bit odd ... EXTREMELY Odd!  

While not a solo cruiser, over the years I've make friends with many solos. For the most part they loved the freedom of doing what they wished and not at all fearful  of cruising alone.  

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That sounds very odd to me, but harmless if it makes her feel more secure.    My first solo cruise is coming up this spring, and I have given more thought to safety in the ports than on the ship.   On the ship, I will not be roaming around late, and I will not drink to excess. I will lock the deadbolt anytime I am in the cabin - though I have seen plenty of posts on these boards about how the cabin attendant's key can open the door even with a deadbolt.  (If that's true, what's the point of the deadbolt? I like to believe that only select security or senior hotel staff can override the deadbolt.)

 

I am not sure if I will avoid letting on that I am solo.  I hadn't really thought about it, but I can see circumstances in which I might vaguely refer to meeting friends if anyone was making me feel uncomfortable.  

 

And, some helpful people on my sociable roll call are gathering information to coordinate activities and tours, but I don't want to post my cabin number on the board or on a log that is linked to the board.

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Packing male clothes etc would mean less space for my own clothes... erm nope!!! lol 😂 

 

I find this really bizarre behaviour. I have read of many solo females wearing fake wedding rings and thought that was strange too. 

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2 hours ago, CazV said:

Packing male clothes etc would mean less space for my own clothes... erm nope!!! lol 😂 

 

I find this really bizarre behaviour. I have read of many solo females wearing fake wedding rings and thought that was strange too. 

I've done the wedding ring routine in Africa and Egypt when traveling solo. Only really works for casual passersby. If you are a tourist, and on your own, you are still dollars on the hoof. Generally they want to sell you something, but if you happen to be 'lonely', well, heh....  I wouldn't consider it as useful on a cruise or in a more 'western' society.

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That's really bizarre since she admits it will be an obvious lie (i.e. crew know she's traveling alone, and no one else would be in her cabin without an invitation).  Regardless, if she want's to carry around extra shoes and clothes, that's up to her.

 

I think of the safety issue as no different than on land, and so I act no differently than on land (though I more often have a drink because I don't need to drive).  However, I've met a gorgeous woman traveling solo on this cruise who says she never goes anywhere alone on the ship because she doesn't want anything she says or does to be misconstrued.  She wears her wedding ring (and many diamonds), and is not flirty (as I've seen), but she apparently knows from past experience than men will create "flirting" from her clothes, smile, or "good morning", in spite of her best intentions.   So her answer is to always go places with her roommates (whether a friend, her daughter, or her mother).   I do feel badly for her, as it doesn't occur to me not to go somewhere alone, but she's a 50-ish year old "10", and I'm a 50-ish year old 6, so I defer to her experience.

 

 

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A 10? No flaws, huh?

 

 I am glad I am who I am....I would never say I am a 10......perfect? OMG no.:classic_blink:

And traveling with others? I never do it.  I don't wear a wedding ring, been divorced almost 40 years. My mom has

been gone since 1993 and I have no daughters......traveling on my own is my choice.:classic_biggrin:

 

Seems to me it must be stressful to be so full of yourself you must be "guarded/with others" all the time. :classic_rolleyes:

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Lois R said:

.I would never say I am a 10..

I'm sure she wouldn't say that either.....I said it, not her.  She's very nice and not a braggart, but I'm not going to belittle her concerns or negate her past experiences. 

 

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41 minutes ago, calliopecruiser said:

I'm sure she wouldn't say that either.....I said it, not her.  She's very nice and not a braggart, but I'm not going to belittle her concerns or negate her past experiences. 

 

So maybe I read too much into your post about her......but it came across (to me anyway) that she was better than

others......the internet can be a funky medium.  It sounded like she was the belittler...…...so again, If I misread the post?

Sorry.

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I made sure to get a secure traveling purse that can't be cut, can't easily be opened, rfid protected. I got a backpack style. Since it latches and can't be opened without tugging I felt secure with it and my hands were free for other things.

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I simply don't live or travel in fear. Life is too short.

 

The only thing I do not do - and that is regardless of whether I am travelling or going out in my own city - is leave a drink unattended. 

 

Scattering random male clothes around a cabin is just bizarre - especially given staff have a list of who is in each cabin. and "She has decorated her cabin door with his/hers names and even a pic of a couple."

Sorry - but who on earth advertises who is in their cabin by decorating a cabin door? That is just truly odd.

Edited by PerfectlyPerth

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11 hours ago, PerfectlyPerth said:

who on earth advertises who is in their cabin by decorating a cabin door? That is just truly odd.

Actually, I have seen that, but unrelated to safety........it's more because the doors all look the same in a long corridor, so people with weaker vision can easily recognize their own cabin.  Some people put up magnets or something, but I have seen photos of people. 

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10 hours ago, calliopecruiser said:

Actually, I have seen that, but unrelated to safety........it's more because the doors all look the same in a long corridor, so people with weaker vision can easily recognize their own cabin.  Some people put up magnets or something, but I have seen photos of people. 

 

I have read in other forums here that people do it for kids. Seriously - just teach them numbers! And at the end of the day your key card will only open your door - not the random one you have mistaken for yours!!

 

But putting family photos up (and in this case we are discussing - fake family photos lol) that is truly ridiculous. I genuinely have no words. I could never live my life with that much insecurity and fear.

 

I would think that such decorations much annoy cleaners who have to do the whole corridor and removing and replacing such guff would double their work time.

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2 hours ago, PerfectlyPerth said:

Seriously - just teach them numbers! And at the end of the day your key card will only open your door - not the random one you have mistaken for yours!!

No, but it can be frightening to the person inside the wrong cabin to hear someone trying to get in, and frustrating to the other person to try the wrong door, perhaps more than once.

 

I don't understand why you're so against the idea......if it works for them, why does it bother you?

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1 hour ago, calliopecruiser said:

No, but it can be frightening to the person inside the wrong cabin to hear someone trying to get in, and frustrating to the other person to try the wrong door, perhaps more than once.

 

I don't understand why you're so against the idea......if it works for them, why does it bother you?

 

I guess because it just seems so immature to me. To each their own I guess. 

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Adding also - do these same people do this with hotel room doors in long corridors ? To me its no different - floating hotel.

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I think the decorated doors are fun and a way for those cruising to enhance the vacation experience. It never bothered me, I usually say happy birthday or anniversary, and I’ve always seen them taken down by the last day. If room stewards/housekeeping had a huge issue with it the cruise lines wouldn’t allow it. 
 

I think it’s fun and different, not immature, and definitely a good way to identify for those with visual impairment and a good way to find the right space for others in your group. They may remember the deck and area but not exact room. It’s not about learning numbers it could be there are 6 or more rooms in your group. A lot for anyone to remember. 

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I think it's important to be mindful of safety wherever you are. Unfortunately women still have to take responsibility for other people's poor/agressive/unwanted behaviour. However, I also agree that one cannot live in fear. And, I think it seems strange to bring men's clothing. I also think that decorating a door or mentioning a non-existant partner can backfire by drawing attention to yourself and the fact that you're alone and maybe not as comfortable about it. It probably also makes a difference the cruise line you're travelling on. I just got off my first cruise on Princess and must say that I wasn't impressed with them putting a name tag outside my door with my full name - advertising to everyone that I'm a woman travelling on my own. I took it down immediately and asked my room attendant not to replace it when he mentioned it was missing. Otherwise, I wasn't too concerned. My best advice is like others have said, just be aware of your surroundings, don't participate in risky behaviour, don't leave drinks unattended but have fun.

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On 1/31/2020 at 2:42 PM, Lois R said:

A 10? No flaws, huh?

 

 I am glad I am who I am....I would never say I am a 10......perfect? OMG no.:classic_blink:

And traveling with others? I never do it.  I don't wear a wedding ring, been divorced almost 40 years. My mom has

been gone since 1993 and I have no daughters......traveling on my own is my choice.:classic_biggrin:

 

Seems to me it must be stressful to be so full of yourself you must be "guarded/with others" all the time. :classic_rolleyes:

 

 

What Lois said! I travel solo always and love it. Frankly, IMHO, and I'll probably get slammed, if you are that afraid you should probably not be traveling alone, you won't enjoy it. I've never felt "guarded" with anyone. 🙄

Sue

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