Share wine at dinner

[Gardendog]

What is the praxis at dinner time if someone at the table either orders a bottle of wine or brings one to the table (and pays the corking fee)? Is it customary to offer your wine to the rest of the table, or do the couple just drink it themselves without offering to share?

 

What is your experience?

 

I have view points, but before I "poison the well", I'd like to hear what the rest of you think.

[Krazy Kruizers]

When we used to sit at tables for 4, the other couple would buy a bottle of wine and never asked us if we wanted to share it with them. It didn't bother us at all. And I feel that if we bought a bottle of wine or brought one to the table we shouldn't be obligated to share it anyone. JMO

[jhannah]

We have always shared (or offered) and our tablemates have done the same. I would not be offended if someone didn't. We were given a wine package on our last cruise and, not being heavy wine drinkers, were more than happy to share.

[ldog]

We usually buy champagne on the formal night and share it with the table. Other nights we buy a bottle just for us.

[Gardendog]

When we used to sit at tables for 4, the other couple would buy a bottle of wine and never asked us if we wanted to share it with them. It didn't bother us at all. And I feel that if we bought a bottle of wine or brought one to the table we shouldn't be obligated to share it anyone. JMO

We have only been on one HAL cruise, next one is the Oosterdam on 03/04. On our last cruise we sat with 2 singe, not related (just assigned together) women and two young boys belonging to one of the women.

 

We had brought several very special bottles from home, and it was a little awkward when the sommelier asked if he should pour for the whole table. We did not, and the women declined. I don't like it to be awkward. The people at your table are not necessarily your friends, and you would have to be a particular good friend to get a glass of our Rubicon.:D

 

Of course we paid for the corking charge. Does anyone know what it is now?

 

One of the women came with a glass in hand one night. We have not done that, rule followers and all, but that would be one way of not having to share :p

[lougee1043]

share with me and i share with you

 

the lady who came to the table with a glass of wine might have carried it in from a bar ---ive carried a pre dinner drink from a bar into the d/r many a nite

[Gardendog]

share with me and i share with you

 

the lady who came to the table with a glass of wine might have carried it in from a bar ---ive carried a pre dinner drink from a bar into the d/r many a nite

 

Perhaps,

I don't really care where she got her glass from, it's her life.

 

Share etc sounds lovely, but is it expected? I know it is done. I know that I don't want their wine, so have no expectation of sharing theirs.

[PRINSENDAM]

Sharing is just fine but if you do not intend returning the complement by ordering a bottle to share then you should not accept in the first place.

 

On one very long cruise (108 days) I offered a passenger at my table a glass of wine almost every night. She took just a half glass... almost nothing. It probably added up to over a dozen bottles over the complete cruise. I didn't mind because I didn't think of it.

 

I have been at table where I have provided wine for several nights and the others at the table don't bother to order. One passenger even said to me, "Oh, I thought the wine was free.":mad:

 

I had my own wine on board... 12 cases (requested & ordered through HAL). Used eleven of them.... the last remaining case went during a subsequent cruise!:D

 

Stephen

[Portolan]

it was a little awkward when the sommelier asked if he should pour for the whole table

 

We've ordered wine and offered to share, but I'd be annoyed if the sommelier made the offer because 1) we might not want to offer to share for whatever reason and it would be far more amkward to say no than not to offer in the first place, and 2) it would be a conflict of interest since (I believe) the sommelier benefits from selling more wine (like the extra bottle you'd need because it was poured all around).

[Gardendog]

Sharing is just fine but if you do not intend returning the complement by ordering a bottle to share then you should not accept in the first place.Stephen

 

 

We are wine "collectors" and on special occasions we have very nice bottles of wine that are extremely pricey for us. We like a nice wine. If someone at the table offered their wine, we would decline. I am not trying to get a free wine from someone, I am trying to keep mine myself.:p

 

So my real problem, to cut to the chase, is that I have a very nice bottle from our very small collection, that has been in our home for many years waiting for the perfect time to drink. I want to share it with my spouse, but not with table mates. Am I crude, unpolished and need to go to etiquette school?

[Charliesmom]

I have had both situations - one where we have shared our wine with the table and others where we have not. It really depends upon the kind of friendship you strike up with your tablemates and whether or not their drinking choices cooincide with yours.

 

If you have a special bottle of wine you do not wish to share, by all means enjoy it totally without guilt. If, on the other hand, you have a bottle of relatively inexpensive wine your TA sent and want to share it - offer it around. The sommelier will follow YOUR direction. Tell him the special bottle is special and you wish to share it only with your spouse.

 

Roberta

[Deb C.]

Greta: Your earlier reply sounded like you thought that bringing a drink from an outside bar to the dining room was not a correct thing to do.... "it's her life". Did I take that the way you meant it?

 

About 8-10 of us were having drinks with the captain in a bar one evening prior to dinner. When it was time for us to move to the dining room, our unfinished drinks were even carried for us and placed on the Captain's table. (and mine was just a Coke!!:rolleyes: ) So I doubt that bringing an unfinished drink to the table is unacceptable behavior.

[babyher]

Sharing is just fine but if you do not intend returning the complement by ordering a bottle to share then you should not accept in the first place.Stephen

 

 

We are wine "collectors" and on special occasions we have very nice bottles of wine that are extremely pricey for us. We like a nice wine. If someone at the table offered their wine, we would decline. I am not trying to get a free wine from someone, I am trying to keep mine myself.:p

 

So my real problem, to cut to the chase, is that I have a very nice bottle from our very small collection, that has been in our home for many years waiting for the perfect time to drink. I want to share it with my spouse, but not with table mates. Am I crude, unpolished and need to go to etiquette school?

 

 

I wouldn't say crude or unpolished at all.

 

However and this is just MHO. If I had a very rare ,special and expensive bottle of wine and I just wanted to share it with my wife. I wouldn't even bother bringing it to the dining room. I would enjoy it with her in private, either in our cabin, or just make a special occasion at home.

[Gardendog]

Greta: Your earlier reply sounded like you thought that bringing a drink from an outside bar to the dining room was not a correct thing to do.... "it's her life". Did I take that the way you meant it?

I was not passing judgement. I don't know where she got her wine and it makes no difference to me. I meant what I said, it's her life. If I went to the bar and had a half finished g&t, of course I would bring it to the table, and the same goes for wine. I apologize if I came across condescending, not my intention.

 

Well, I have gathered from your replies, that it is OK for us to be selfish and not share, but perhaps the best thing would be to drink it in our cabin. So others feel the awkwardness as well. We drink wine with food, so opening it in the cabin would not be the same thing. Besides, then HAL would not get the corking fee.;)

[gooselace]

Obviously it's your life and your choice, but wouldn't it be nice to enjoy your special wine with a special dinner for two in the Pinnacle? Or. more intimately, with a room service meal in your cabin?

[Guest Celestia]

We drink wine with food, so opening it in the cabin would not be the same thing. Besides, then HAL would not get the corking fee.;)

 

If you want to drink your special bottle of rare wine with food, why not book a table for two at the Upcharge Restaurant, and drink it there with your dinner?

 

You would then be able to enjoy your special rare wine with food as you wish, but not feel any uncomfortableness over not sharing your wine with your regular tablemates (it is nice to mention that you'll be absent from table that night so they do not delay their dinner orders waiting for you that night).

 

FW&FS,

Celestia

[Gardendog]

Thank you all for your input. We will be visiting the Pinnacle Grill and drink one of the bottles there. Perhaps we will even open one in the cabin and have a pre dinner drink.

 

We plan on drinking special wines every night of the cruise, and would like to enjoy it with our meal.

 

I was interested in how I go about drinking a bottle in the dining room with 2 other couples at the table. I'd like to get some more people's opinion, if there is interest in this topic.

[Guest Celestia]

We plan on drinking special wines every night of the cruise, and would like to enjoy it with our meal.

 

I was interested in how I go about drinking a bottle in the dining room with 2 other couples at the table. I'd like to get some more people's opinion, if there is interest in this topic.

 

Well, you could arrange for myself and my cruise partner to share your table...we are never insulted if the other passengers assigned to the same table do not offer their wines. Neither of us drinks the same wines (he only drinks red and I only drink white) and typically order a glass of wine while waiting about in the Ocean Bar to hear the chimes calling our dinner seating. If we have not finished this drink we carry it along with us and may finish it, but more usually prefer other beverages with dinner - I feel that food with wine spoils both the wine and the food.

 

FW&FS,

Celestia

[PRINSENDAM]

 

 

 

Gretta,

 

Absoloutely not!!!!! Drink it an enjoy it. Better idea... take it to Pinnacle Grill and have a special noght out!

 

Stephen

[Tricia724]

I really don't think there would be any problem having your bottle of wine at the table with others. We have been seated at tables for 4, 6 and 8. We usually do not drink wine with our meals, preferring to have a drink later in the evening after the show. On most of our cruises, there is usually a couple at the table who does order wine, and I don't anticipate or expect them to share it with us. If offered, I turn it down. If I were seated at your table, I would not expect you to share with us, and I especially wouldn't want you to feel obligated to share a special, costly vintage.

 

My reaction is this: don't take your special wines to the table the first couple of nights. Get acquainted with your tablemates first. Perhaps some of them will order their own wine which will set the tone for the table. After talking to them a bit, you will probably have a better idea whether you want to bring your wine to the table. If you feel that you or they might be uncomfortable, perhaps taking it to the specialty restaurant would be a better option. My guess is that it won't be a problem.

[Starbright]

We have never shared wine with the people at our table whether they bought it or we did. We have always each bought our own. I often don't like the wines other people choose, and prefer to stick to my "favourites".

 

The only time we shared was when we were given a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne as part of a Renewal of Vows Package. We shared that with the other two people at our table - because we had already been sitting with them for over a week, and had become friendly, and because we wanted to share our special occasion.

[Bramcruiser]

To me ordering wine is the same as ordering your meal. I'm not exactly passing my plate around .

 

Its a nice gesture to share but I wouldn't necessarily expect others at my table to offer and I wouldn't necessarily offer - at least at the beginning of night one. On our last cruise, I decided to preorder champagne for the two of us and arranged to have it with our first night dinner instead of in the cabin. Looking back I should have left it as a gift in the cabin but I wanted our first night on our Oosterdam cruise to be special. I don't believe anyone at the table was offended though. In fact we just ordered cocktails future nights and the other people did buy a bottle for themselves on the formal night. All in all everyone at our table just did their own thing.

 

Would I ever offer? Yeah, likely if the gang at the table become really chummy and drinking becomes a norm. By that point your're all of one group so it's no longer a big deal. However, if you are just a friendly group of pleasant people who show up only to eat at the same table and then go off on separate ways for the next 24 hours its still a group of strangers in my eyes.

 

So I see no problem with it going either way. But I do agree that if offered and you take some its only right to take care of the tab the next time around. That's just common courtesy.

[PrincessYoga]

I have just read through these responses as I am fairly surprised that people would not offer their wine around the table. I most certainly would. Just as if I was in pub and was getting a another drink I would offer those in my company a drink even if I didn't know them well. For me it is not about receiving or wanting free drink from others but I see it as manners. Just of if I open a bag of crips or open a pack of chewing gum I would offer it around. If I didn't want to share like if was my last piece of chewing gum I wouldn't open in front of others. More likely than not I would break the stick in half and offer that. I certainley wouldn' t expect it but that is just my experiences. maybe I am just odd. :)

 

I hope this doesn't start anything as that certainly isn't my intention but part of me wonders if it is cultural. Are most passengers from North America? When I lived in the US it seemed less likely that people would offer around but in Ireland it is rude not to. For example , when I was last in America I watched my husband offer drinks when we went out with my sister and met up with her friends because that is what you do. We had never met these people before. Not one person reciprocated the gesture. That wasn't an issue but merely an observation. Although my husband did not the cultural difference. Whereas in the circles I travel in Ireland it would be considered very rude if you didn't. my sister in laws would buy extra cigarettes when they are going out because they know they will give half away. In saying this I am not implying that anyone is rude just wondering out loud if this could be partly down to culture. It is good to know this is the custom of the ship. Although I could never see myself buying a drink and opening a bottle of wine and not sharing or offering but that is me. If it was something I could not share I wouldn't do it in front of people.

 

I hope that came out right. :D

[Old Salty Dog]

This is one of those things that you have to play by ear. We have always ordered individually when at a table for 6 or 8, and our tablemates (strangers) did the same. Some don't drink wines, and we all have our individual tastes. After several nights you may become friendly enough to want to offer your wine, but we've never experienced the situation where it was expected.

 

When we ordered just glasses the first night, the wine steward suggested getting a bottle. We seldom want a whole bottle at dinner, but they will put your number on what is left and it shows up at your table the next night. This has been the case with HAL, Princess, NCL, and river cruises in Europe. Get what you like, as much as you like, and relax and enjoy.

[caviargal]

We've ordered wine and offered to share, but I'd be annoyed if the sommelier made the offer because 1) we might not want to offer to share for whatever reason and it would be far more amkward to say no than not to offer in the first place, and 2) it would be a conflict of interest since (I believe) the sommelier benefits from selling more wine (like the extra bottle you'd need because it was poured all around).

 

 

I agree that the sommelier is overstepping his bounds to make such an offer.

 

For me, it depends on the table and the wine. I bring several fine bottles on a cruise and prefer not to share. However, occasionally, I have dined with like minded couples and it is enjoyable to do so.

 

I mostly request tables for 2, so do not often have to make such a decision.