What's your FUNNIEST Celebrity cruise story?

[vms]

On one of my early solo cruises, I was in my cabin bathroom putting on makeup in just my undergarments, getting ready for dinner. All of a sudden, the bathroom door opens and there is my stateroom attendant. I jumped and screamed in surprise, he screamed in surprise, he slammed the door and I heard the outer door to to hallway close very loudly.

 

I learned my lesson that just because I am alone in the cabin, doesn't mean I don't need to lock the doors- especially the bathroom door!

 

I caught him later and apologized, only to have him apologize. He had knocked on the outer door but I hadn't heard it, so he assumed he could come in and start the evening clean/turn down service, not realizing I was in the cabin. And since I hadn't locked the door from the cabin to the hallway, he just walked right in. But I was glad we were both able to laugh about it, after the fact.

[RedneckBob]

Another funny (I think) cruise story.that is kinder like Paul Harvey, the way he would say it.

 

Many years ago while on a cruise there was a cooking contest and who ever prepared the best dish would have their dish on the menu in the MDR the next night for everyone to enjoy. There were a host of contestants hoping to gain fame in their mission to prepare the best dish. It was tough competition but in the end our cruising buddy won by making a delicious baked mushrooms stuffed with crabmeat. I talked with the Head Chef who judged the event and he said it was one of the best mushroom dishes ever. So the next night everyone anticipated the dish. As we arrived into the MDR and were seated we noticed unusual chatter and laughter occurring periodic throughout the venue. Then we were presented the Menu in the MDR and when we saw the awarding winning dish on the menu we understood what was going on.

 

Our cruising buddy’s dish read and I quote, “Baked Mushroom Stuffed with Crapmeat”. No further explanation required except there is an end to this story.

 

I was another cruise six months later and ran into the Head Chef who was on the Crapmeat cruise. I asked him did anything happen after the mistake on the menu. The Chef replied in a German assent, “I got my a _ _ chewed out”.

 

And now you know the rest of the story. RIP Trish

[Sailing Shoes]

Preparing to leave St. Marten we went up to the top deck to watch for pier runners and the departure. One of RCCL’s Monster of the Seas was on the other side of the pier. There was loud music and the party was clearly going well over there. After a few minutes we noticed others on our ship pointing and laughing. A man had stumbled out onto his balcony and ended up laying on the deck, naked! Shortly there after a woman emerged, looked at all of us and became quite flustered. She grabbed a sheet to cover him and was finally able to drag him back into the cabin. Glad I didn’t have his hangover the next day. Made for a memorable sail away 😀

[gold1953]

All so funny..

 We have also had our balcony door slam shut. Our neighbour came out and I still have no idea what language she spoke. She finally figured out that we had a problem and got her husband to come out and he called for help.

 

On a B2B we were at the Sunset bar and I decided to took down at the aft balconies to find our Aqua cabin for the next leg..   legs??   no a topless women sunbathing one deck down. ( on our balcony)  She obviously knew that she was on display

Edited March 19, 2022 by gold1953

[gold1953]

and just for fun.. we were sailing up the coast of South America  watching whales from the windows of the Sky lounge and enjoying one of our speakers casually talking about the sea life. The guy next to me says " I have always wanted to see a  blue footed booby . I glanced over and the gal next to him was wearing blue shoes so I asked if she was his wife.  There was a lot of laughter and yes she was his wife!

[Artie212]

On the Equinox a few years ago, Holly and I were  at dinner. A  "distinguished" gentleman and his wife sat nearby. All throughout the dinner he kept fussy and making a scene over what he felt were service imperfections and lack of meal quality. He finally stated in a very loud voice...AT THIS STAGE OF MY LIFE I DO NOT AND WILL NOT ACCEPT MEDIOCRITY!!!!.    

After our cruise and at the airport to come home, while walking past the Frontier air counter, there he was checking in, trying to convince the clerk that his suitcase was a carryon and not a checked bag with the fees attached. I paused and asked if he only accepts mediocrity while flying?.....he was not impressed, however I still laugh at this entire episode.

Artie

[G&G]

13 hours ago, RedneckBob said:

Another funny (I think) cruise story.that is kinder like Paul Harvey, the way he would say it.

 

Many years ago while on a cruise there was a cooking contest and who ever prepared the best dish would have their dish on the menu in the MDR the next night for everyone to enjoy. There were a host of contestants hoping to gain fame in their mission to prepare the best dish. It was tough competition but in the end our cruising buddy won by making a delicious baked mushrooms stuffed with crabmeat. I talked with the Head Chef who judged the event and he said it was one of the best mushroom dishes ever. So the next night everyone anticipated the dish. As we arrived into the MDR and were seated we noticed unusual chatter and laughter occurring periodic throughout the venue. Then we were presented the Menu in the MDR and when we saw the awarding winning dish on the menu we understood what was going on.

 

Our cruising buddy’s dish read and I quote, “Baked Mushroom Stuffed with Crapmeat”. No further explanation required except there is an end to this story.

 

I was another cruise six months later and ran into the Head Chef who was on the Crapmeat cruise. I asked him did anything happen after the mistake on the menu. The Chef replied in a German assent, “I got my a _ _ chewed out”.

 

And now you know the rest of the story. RIP Trish

Bob,

 

How do you come up so many funny cruise stories? 😀

[TeeRick]

Try this book.

https://lifewellcruised.com/best-cruise-jokes-puns/

[RedneckBob]

23 hours ago, G&G said:

Bob,

 

How do you come up so many funny cruise stories? 😀

I guess when you cruise a lot it’s just bound to happen

[jono mono]

Last September on Silhouette, it was our first time cruising with me in a wheelchair ,going down to dinner one evening in the lift (elevator ) my wife suddenly realised she had forgotten her covid mask, left me outside deck 4 lift , went back to the cabin on 10th deck for the mask, completely  forgetting where she left me, wandered around ship asking people if they had seen an angry man in a wheelchair !! she found me 20 minutes later. Even I had to laugh !!.

[RedneckBob]

Now that it appears this thread is decaying and has run it’s course, I have one final cruise story to tell which is rather short.

 

Many years ago while of course on a cruise, me and the Misses headed to the Main Dining Room for dinner. We had fixed seating and when arriving at our assigned table for four, they was our assigned couple, a man and his wife, about our age. For the first two nights dining with the couple, the man was very talkative but his wife would not give me the time of day; completely ignoring me. Then on Day 3 of dinner, when we were all seated, the wife looked at me and said, “RedneckBob, sorry I have not talked to you for the first two nights in the MDR, but you remind of my X, look like my X, do the same work as my X and have the same birthday as my X.”  Immediately my DW replied,

 

”Thank goodness RedneckBob does remind me of my X”

 

That’s a wrap.

 

PS: By the way that was the last time we had fixed seating 😇

[LGW59]

1 hour ago, RedneckBob said:

Now that it appears this thread is decaying and has run it’s course, I have one final cruise story to tell which is rather short.

 

Many years ago while of course on a cruise, me and the Misses headed to the Main Dining Room for dinner. We had fixed seating and when arriving at our assigned table for four, they was our assigned couple, a man and his wife, about our age. For the first two nights dining with the couple, the man was very talkative but his wife would not give me the time of day; completely ignoring me. Then on Day 3 of dinner, when we were all seated, the wife looked at me and said, “RedneckBob, sorry I have not talked to you for the first two nights in the MDR, but you remind of my X, look like my X, do the same work as my X and have the same birthday as my X.”  Immediately my DW replied,

 

”Thank goodness RedneckBob does remind me of my X”

 

That’s a wrap.

 

PS: By the way that was the last time we had fixed seating 😇

Very odd person for sure!  Only did fixed seating one time and it was one and done for us, never ever again.  

[RedneckBob]

1 hour ago, RedneckBob said:

Now that it appears this thread is decaying and has run it’s course, I have one final cruise story to tell which is rather short.

 

Many years ago while of course on a cruise, me and the Misses headed to the Main Dining Room for dinner. We had fixed seating and when arriving at our assigned table for four, they was our assigned couple, a man and his wife, about our age. For the first two nights dining with the couple, the man was very talkative but his wife would not give me the time of day; completely ignoring me. Then on Day 3 of dinner, when we were all seated, the wife looked at me and said, “RedneckBob, sorry I have not talked to you for the first two nights in the MDR, but you remind of my X, look like my X, do the same work as my X and have the same birthday as my X.”  Immediately my DW replied,

 

”Thank goodness RedneckBob does remind me of my X”

 

That’s a wrap.

 

PS: By the way that was the last time we had fixed seating 😇

Made a big error.

 

Should have read, “Thanks goodness RedneckBob doesn’t remind me on my X”

[TeeRick]

2 hours ago, RedneckBob said:

Now that it appears this thread is decaying and has run it’s course, I have one final cruise story to tell which is rather short.

 

Many years ago while of course on a cruise, me and the Misses headed to the Main Dining Room for dinner. We had fixed seating and when arriving at our assigned table for four, they was our assigned couple, a man and his wife, about our age. For the first two nights dining with the couple, the man was very talkative but his wife would not give me the time of day; completely ignoring me. Then on Day 3 of dinner, when we were all seated, the wife looked at me and said, “RedneckBob, sorry I have not talked to you for the first two nights in the MDR, but you remind of my X, look like my X, do the same work as my X and have the same birthday as my X.”  Immediately my DW replied,

 

”Thank goodness RedneckBob does remind me of my X”

 

That’s a wrap.

 

PS: By the way that was the last time we had fixed seating 😇

So do you introduce yourself as Redneck Bob?  Or just Bob?

[peacefulOR]

We're looking forward to our first Celebrity cruise in September; this happened on our last cruise on Princess.  After setting my breakfast down, I glanced over at the window just in time to watch a woman  dump the last of her coffee on the carpet and walk away. I was appalled and pointed out the mess to a crew member. The funny part was his reaction.....no surprise there, just business as usual.

 

 

 

[RedneckBob]

1 hour ago, RedneckBob said:

Made a big error.

 

Should have read, “Thanks goodness RedneckBob doesn’t remind me on my X”

Maybe I should have not written this post. The word “on” should have been “of”.

 

That’s what happens when I don’t have grits for breakfast 😀

[RedneckBob]

53 minutes ago, TeeRick said:

So do you introduce yourself as Redneck Bob?  Or just Bob?

Sometimes Bob, sometimes RNB, sometimes Mr. Bob, and if I was from the Dallas Tx area, Plano Bob

[Chrissi3010]

On one of our cruises we had a nice funny waitress in the Luminae. The first morning we had breakfast there she asked whether we would like to have some coffee. DH said "yes, please" and I said "no thank you, I don't like coffee". She was astonished for a second, poured some coffee into my DH's cup and went away. A few minutes later she came back, saw my empty cup and asked me whether I wanted some coffee. Again "no" from my side. She looked confused and went away. Again a few minutes later she returned, saw my empty cup and just poured some coffee into my cup. Now it was my turn to look confused ;-). And DH told her "my wife still doesn't like coffee" and laughed. Then she realised, too, and we all had a good laugh. From that minute it was a running gag every morning either me telling her that I still don't like coffee or her asking "you still don't like coffee?"  😂

[DaKahuna]

1 hour ago, RedneckBob said:

That’s what happens when I don’t have grits for breakfast 😀

 

 Grits -- one of my biggest complaints about cruise ship breakfast -- they don't know how to cook grits.  They serve them way too watery. I like my grits thick and creamy not thin and watery.   nuff said !

 

[RedneckBob]

Just now, DaKahuna said:

 

 Grits -- one of my biggest complaints about cruise ship breakfast -- they don't know how to cook grits.  They serve them way too watery. I like my grits thick and creamy not thin and watery.   nuff said !

 

Hum hum. Like block mortar mix consistently.

[DaKahuna]

Just now, RedneckBob said:

Hum hum. Like block mortar mix consistently.

Take a plate of grits, put two or three eggs, sunny side up or over easy on top, add a slab of ham and some buttermilk biscuits.  Life is wonderful. 

[TeeRick]

5 hours ago, RedneckBob said:

Sometimes Bob, sometimes RNB, sometimes Mr. Bob, and if I was from the Dallas Tx area, Plano Bob

Speaking of funny do you remember Ray Jay Johnson?  Your answer reminded me of that routine by Bill Saluga.

 

"You can call me Ray.  You can call me Ray Jay.  etc.  etc."

[Denny01]

A woman who shared our dinner table was very concerned that the ship, the Solstice, was ‘creaking’ and ‘moaning’. I explained that we were in high seas and strong wind and the ship rolls and bends which is what the noises are from. She said she’d just done a Disney cruise and it didn’t make any noises. I again explained in that cruise, it was probably calm seas. She didn’t seem to buy it at all. So I went a bit further to explain that if the ship didn’t flex, it would break in half and we’d all have bigger issues than noises.

 

I don’t think she believed me because the next day she told the lady next to her she’d Never cruise Celebrity again because of their ‘old and poorly built ships’.

 

Just grinned. I didn’t tell her that those Disney ships are infested with talking mice running loose around on it!!

 

Den  

Edited March 21, 2022 by Denny01

[RedneckBob]

14 hours ago, TeeRick said:

Speaking of funny do you remember Ray Jay Johnson?  Your answer reminded me of that routine by Bill Saluga.

 

"You can call me Ray.  You can call me Ray Jay.  etc.  etc."

No, before my time 😀

 

 

[TeeRick]

32 minutes ago, RedneckBob said:

No, before my time 😀

 

 

Ok Redneck Bob.  Here you go.  Enjoy!