What's your FUNNIEST Celebrity cruise story?

[gerelmx]

I only know horror stories

[MamaFej]

1 minute ago, gerelmx said:

I only know horror stories

You definitely have some of those! 
 

And I’m sailing with you again in August. Yikes! 😜

[mfs2k]

I’m still trying to figure out what proposition got them hauled into security. 
No one ever propositions me. I’m barely a preposition.  

[photomikey]

Celebrity Infinity, about 8 years ago.  Second night of the cruise, smooth sailing all day with progressive chop building as the day wears on.  By evening we are in pretty solid rolling waves.  It's dinner time and we keep pushing it back and pushing it back hoping for the ship to settle down, but no luck.  My wife is a lightweight (and I'm unaffected) so around 8pm I go to the lido to get her some broth and crackers.  Hop in the elevator alone.  After a few floors the doors to the elevator open to take on more passengers.  One little old lady standing there outside the MDR, wearing her little old lady best.  This lady could have passed for my grandma.  Just as the doors open the ship lurches, and the lady puts her finger over her mouth as if she's holding it in.  There are sickness bags hanging in the elevator.  I instinctively pull one out, snap it open, and hand it to the lady. The lady leans forward vomits into the bag, then pulls back and looks at me in horror.  The entire sequence lasts about ten seconds, at which point the elevator dings, the doors close, the lady stays standing outside the MDR, and I proceed on my way to the Lido to get my wife some soup... now holding a warm bag of vomit.

 

FIN

[Guppy99]

6 hours ago, luv2camp04 said:

This man at the Sunset Bar!!

 

I'd like to know how many  would have just looked or would have told him? Or his wife, if it wee apparent she was there.  I think that would be the nice thing to do, but I'm not certain I would.  Thank goodness he was wearing underwear or it had a lining.

[cachouonacruise]

Dear OP, Thank-you so much for this thread. I really enjoyed reading all the stories.

 

Sadly, I have nothin to add, except that I did not recognize myself in any of these stories. This is a win for me! 

[LGW59]

6 hours ago, luv2camp04 said:

This man at the Sunset Bar!!

 

wow, such a cheeky experience!

[talljules1]

OK - I think I have two. I apologise in advance that they both relate to what I will euphemistically call "grown up time" on board.

 

First time was on our second cruise. We were enjoying some "grown up time" in our stateroom one afternoon. I had put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.  At one point I turn my head and see our stateroom attendant standing, wide-eyed, in the room. I had not heard the door open.  Now, at the time I was furious, and we later had a meeting with a manager.  Nowadays I wonder whether I should be affronted that he came in, or affronted that he didn't join in. So, we were seriously miffed at the time, but look back at it now and laugh. (this was the only significant negative event we've ever had on board)

 

The other was on our last cruise, when we were lucky to be in a Royal Suite. We were celebrating both my 50th birthday and our 10th Wedding anniversary, and so we had pushed the boat out, so to speak. Knowing all this, our amazing butler had spelled out "LOVE" in silk flowers on the wall above the bed.  We're having "grown up time" and I end up in a total fit of giggles. My brain mis-fires and I say, "You know what we should do?  We should rearrange the letters so it spells 'VOLE'. Just imagine when they come in to take it down! You had ONE job! "LOVE". It says VOLE!!!!!"  Well, that was the end of that.  VOLE still has us in fits of giggles.  [Of course, we did not change the spelling - that would have been mean, and they looked after us SO well!]

Edited March 15, 2022 by talljules1

[graphicguy]

16 hours ago, MamaFej said:

I remember following your Live From on this cruise. I hope your GF enjoys her jewelry. 
 

Now, I wonder how many folks zoomed in on the picture to see if they recognize the tattoo. 

All good!  Things are finally getting back to a bit of normalcy.  We just came off the APEX together a couple of weeks ago.  Had a grand time.  Thanks for remembering.

[graphicguy]

16 hours ago, mfs2k said:

I’m still trying to figure out what proposition got them hauled into security. 
No one ever propositions me. I’m barely a preposition.  

The proposition I heard personally by one of them was for them to go to his cabin together.  She  promised to have him back and smiling before his wife knew he was gone.  That was just the part I observed.  Apparently, they had been there (the Magic Carpet) all afternoon and had drawn quite a crowd.

 

If I were him I would have taken that as an insult.

 

He blushed with a nervous grin.  His wife, on the other hand, who was sitting next to him, heard the proposition and was livid.  The girls were being loud, crude and generally obnoxious all afternoon.  They were definitely drinking heavily, and obviously had taken “something” illicit on top of that.  Wife went to get security who came and “escorted” the girls away.

 

The rest of the afternoon was chatting about the incident among those of us who were there at the time.  Husband said he thought the girl was joking.  I didn’t think it was a joke.

 

But, it was funny in retrospect, mainly because none of it happened to me.  

[dkjretired]

Wife and I are in an elevator and young couple gets on. Someone must have pushed a bunch of buttons as elevator was taking forever to get to our floor. The young girl starts complaining that the elevators should be made to go only up or down. This continued for a couple of minutes or so. Wife and I couldn’t look at each other and were trying not to break out laughing while her husband was looking for something to crawl under. Finally, we got to our floor, walked out and immediately went into the hallway to burst out laughing.

[dkjretired]

I don’t know if this is funny but I was on maybe my second or third Celebrity cruise when I struck up a conversation with a man at a bar. He asked me how I liked the cruise and I told him it was fine, returned the favor and asked him his thoughts.  He then went into a profane talk about how the food was absolutely awful, he just couldn’t stop. Might point out this was during the Michel Roux era. Found out during the conversation that this was like the 15th cruise on Celebrity for the complainer. 

[lori-annk]

18 hours ago, photomikey said:

Celebrity Infinity, about 8 years ago.  Second night of the cruise, smooth sailing all day with progressive chop building as the day wears on.  By evening we are in pretty solid rolling waves.  It's dinner time and we keep pushing it back and pushing it back hoping for the ship to settle down, but no luck.  My wife is a lightweight (and I'm unaffected) so around 8pm I go to the lido to get her some broth and crackers.  Hop in the elevator alone.  After a few floors the doors to the elevator open to take on more passengers.  One little old lady standing there outside the MDR, wearing her little old lady best.  This lady could have passed for my grandma.  Just as the doors open the ship lurches, and the lady puts her finger over her mouth as if she's holding it in.  There are sickness bags hanging in the elevator.  I instinctively pull one out, snap it open, and hand it to the lady. The lady leans forward vomits into the bag, then pulls back and looks at me in horror.  The entire sequence lasts about ten seconds, at which point the elevator dings, the doors close, the lady stays standing outside the MDR, and I proceed on my way to the Lido to get my wife some soup... now holding a warm bag of vomit.

 

FIN

This gets a trophy and a laugh

[Luvcrusn]

Early one morning I was sitting on our balcony  on the Infinity enjoying my morning coffee and croissants, the sounds of the sea and my favorite book when DH decided to join me. He pulled the balcony door shut behind him with quite a bit of effort and a loud disturbing screeching sound before I could say a word. We then realized that the door was locked with us on the balcony in our bathrobes and no phone. When we finished laughing, we realized our predicament. It was a sea day and we had no way of calling anyone to let us in and would have to stay out there until our cabin attendant came to clean our room. Luckily our next door neighbor came out to their balcony and we asked them to please call our attendant to rescue us. Every time we saw our neighbors for the rest of the cruise they burst into laughter as did we. DH is no longer allowed to close balcony doors if we're both out there on M-class ships. Luckily it's impossible to do on S-class.

[dkjretired]

48 minutes ago, Luvcrusn said:

Early one morning I was sitting on our balcony  on the Infinity enjoying my morning coffee and croissants, the sounds of the sea and my favorite book when DH decided to join me. He pulled the balcony door shut behind him with quite a bit of effort and a loud disturbing screeching sound before I could say a word. We then realized that the door was locked with us on the balcony in our bathrobes and no phone. When we finished laughing, we realized our predicament. It was a sea day and we had no way of calling anyone to let us in and would have to stay out there until our cabin attendant came to clean our room. Luckily our next door neighbor came out to their balcony and we asked them to please call our attendant to rescue us. Every time we saw our neighbors for the rest of the cruise they burst into laughter as did we. DH is no longer allowed to close balcony doors if we're both out there on M-class ships. Luckily it's impossible to do on S-class.

Wife and MIL had the same thing happen at our time share resort in Disney except the lock broke. Resort is big enough they have a locksmith full time but this was a Sunday. Four hours later they got out.

[NC State]

Love this posting!

[Cruise Raider]

1 hour ago, Luvcrusn said:

Early one morning I was sitting on our balcony  on the Infinity enjoying my morning coffee and croissants, the sounds of the sea and my favorite book when DH decided to join me. He pulled the balcony door shut behind him with quite a bit of effort and a loud disturbing screeching sound before I could say a word. We then realized that the door was locked with us on the balcony in our bathrobes and no phone. When we finished laughing, we realized our predicament. It was a sea day and we had no way of calling anyone to let us in and would have to stay out there until our cabin attendant came to clean our room. Luckily our next door neighbor came out to their balcony and we asked them to please call our attendant to rescue us. Every time we saw our neighbors for the rest of the cruise they burst into laughter as did we. DH is no longer allowed to close balcony doors if we're both out there on M-class ships. Luckily it's impossible to do on S-class.

 

We were locked in our room once on the Solstice.  We had to laugh because the lock to our cabin door was evidently broken and one day, we just couldn't get the door to open.  We could see our room steward through the peephole so shouted to see if he could open the door from the hallway side.  He couldn't hear us.  So, we called the front desk and they said they would send someone up to fix it but they were currently busy with other issues.  Our neighbors to one side of us finally came out onto their balcony and retrieved our steward to open up the balcony divider so we could get to a planned event.  They said we could even use their room to get back into our cabin if they couldn't get the door fixed.  Before that, they were total strangers to us and they were so sweet to offer that to us.  The door was finally fixed two days later ... yikes!!  

[LJJQ]

Years ago we were about to sail on Celebrity in the Caribbean. On cruise critic we had of our fellow cruiser’s who loves corona beer! At that time Celebrity didn’t serve corona onboard but did let you bring your own beer! 
On the pier I met her and she had a case of corona! Funny thing just over on the pier were pallets being loaded on the ship full of corona! 
I guess someone at Celebrity was following Cruise Critic!

[WeBcruisingMN]

Our funny story has to do with the difference in terminology between British English and American English.
 

A few years ago my husband and I were having a glass of wine in Cellar Masters. We struck up a conversation with a nearby couple who were from Great Britain and we were talking about general things. We all had indulged a bit… and pretty soon the wife starts talking about her husband’s “indiscretion” and how everything is fine now, but there were some tense moments there between them. She went on to explain matter-of-factly, that “indiscretions”  DO happen when cruising and that it’s perfectly normal, and a couple just has to ‘move on’.

 

I snuck a glance at my husband and I could see that he was uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going, just as I was…so we tried to respond delicately and sincerely.
 

Then the lady’s husband chimed in and they both said a couple more things about this “indiscretion”, when it FINALLY became clear to us (much to our relief) that they were merely talking about a fight or an argument between the couple…NOT an affair or a cheating situation.

 

We never let-on to the couple that we had misunderstood their use of the word “indiscretion”, but we still chuckle about the incident today. 😝

 

Side Note: our youngest daughter has been dating an Australian young man for four years who will probably become part of our family in 1-2 years. [They met on the dance floor of the Solstice in April 2018, while we were cruising in Australia]. He has spoken plenty of words that we either misunderstand or don’t understand, so now we are more ‘seasoned’ at the differences between our English words. 👍🏻

[Vagabond Knight]

Someone please clue me in on WHY people end up locked out in the hallway of a ship (or hotel) in their underwear???  I have seen several incidents reported like that and am trying to figure out why it happens.  It would never occur to me to step into the hallway in my underwear (or without it, for that matter!).  🤔

[RedneckBob]

On 3/15/2022 at 11:38 AM, Vagabond Knight said:

How many of your kids had puzzled looks on their faces when the announcement came that it was time for the "mustard drill" and that everyone needed to report to their "mustard station?" 

Again, this was my 20-something year old daughters on their first cruise.  They had me laughing the whole trip.

You might be a Redneck if you think the mustard station is a condiment bar for hot dogs.

[RedneckBob]

Several years ago I was cruising on the Equinox with three very lovely women; DW, daughter and friend of daughter. We were dining in the Tuscan Grille and while dining the Restaurant Manager came up to me and asked me, “Mr. RedneckBob, how come you are able to travel and dine with such lovely women.” I thought a minute and replied, “Money” 😀. Then a year later I was again on the Equinox but this time with only by DW. The same Restaurant Manager came to our table and my DW asked if he remembered us from a year ago. He said yes and asked what happened to the other two lovely women. I said, “I ran out of money”. ☹️

[wendyam76]

3 hours ago, Vagabond Knight said:

Someone please clue me in on WHY people end up locked out in the hallway of a ship (or hotel) in their underwear???  I have seen several incidents reported like that and am trying to figure out why it happens.  It would never occur to me to step into the hallway in my underwear (or without it, for that matter!).  🤔

I’m presuming because as you come out of the bathroom it is a very narrow corridor in the stateroom and they’ve opened the door rather than walk to the bedroom - often people do things with muscle memory and/or they aren’t fully awake. 
Wendy

[downsmead]

Ours was many cruises ago! We store our cases under the bed and one time one of the cases would not go under properly and so I looked under the bed to see what was stopping it. To my surprise there was a bag full of drinks, bottles and cans, alcohol and soft drinks. My husband and I were astounded and wondered if a previous occupant had been squirrelling booze away and then forgot to take it when they left. We duly went down to Customer Service and told them about our find. They took the details and said thank you and we returned to our cabin. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door and it was our steward. The booze was where he had emptied the mini fridge, and as we had put some drinks in it when we first got to the cabin, he was unable to restock it and had left it under the bed! 

[delondin]

6 hours ago, Vagabond Knight said:

Someone please clue me in on WHY people end up locked out in the hallway of a ship (or hotel) in their underwear???  I have seen several incidents reported like that and am trying to figure out why it happens.  It would never occur to me to step into the hallway in my underwear (or without it, for that matter!).  🤔

They confuse the doors and think they are going into the bathroom