Tipping Haven Butler

[cruiseny4life]

10 hours ago, CDR Benson said:

 

Thank you so much for this post, ma'am.  It's most helpful for putting things in perspective.  It goes to the actual purpose of gratuities:  to reward those who made your experience more enjoyable.

 

Your stated amounts are also helpful.  As I've said elsewhere. I'm not John Beresford Tipton, either.  So, it's valuable to know your amounts were appreciated by their recipients.  It enables me to better gauge what I'll be bestowing.

 

Much obliged, ma'am!

 

 

Anytime! I try to be as helpful as possible..I know some of my posts annoy others, but that's totally alright with me, haha!

 

Have a fabulous return to the sea!

Edited July 26, 2022 by cruiseny4life

[MoCruiseFan]

On 7/23/2022 at 4:50 AM, cruise*enthusiast said:

Can anyone tell me what the average amount is to tip the butler in our Haven suite?  I’d like to tip him on the first day for the entire week. 
 

TIA…..

 

Hi Tia,
  To answer your question, no, no one can tell you the average amount that is tipped.  All each person can do is share what amount, when, and how they tip.  However that information is 100% irrelevant.  Each person tip whatever amount they want to whomever they want at any time they want.  Trust me no tip wil go unappreciated.

Whatever value you assign to the service(s) performed by butlers, bartenders, cabin stewards, etc is what -> I <- would suggest tipping.

Some people bribe these rather than tip them by giving them whatever amount of money before any services are performed.  As someone who has worked in the food service industry, I find that to be offensive, impudent, and curt.  To each his own though and if others feel that is an acceptable practice then more power  them.

[MoCruiseFan]

On 7/24/2022 at 3:32 PM, CDR Benson said:

 

I don't have the letter right at hand, but I phrased the reference to the tip along the lines of "As a gesture of our expectation of a good working relationship, we've enclosed part of your well-deserved tip in advance."

That makes bribing up front even worse.  You are flat out telling the server that he better not screw up if he wants his entire tip.

Edited July 26, 2022 by MoCruiseFan

[MoCruiseFan]

On 7/23/2022 at 9:49 AM, LGW59 said:

There are countless tipping threads on CC, for every line out there.  They often go down a very "spirited" road of disagreement, cultural norms, bribes etc.  IMO, tipping is a totally personal decision as far as the $$ amount to give him/her.  Do what makes you comfortable, seems fair and shows thanks for a job well done.

 

EXACTLY!

[BirdTravels]

18 hours ago, KateQ22003 said:

Clearly a big difference in a haven suite vs. a non-haven suite! We never saw a white tablecloth all week, and when asked to bring us some fruit and gummies for a snack we never got them.

some of the photos were from non-haven suites. 

[Sthrngary]

12 hours ago, MoCruiseFan said:

Some people bribe these rather than tip them by giving them whatever amount of money before any services are performed.  As someone who has worked in the food service industry, I find that to be offensive, impudent, and curt.  To each his own though and if others feel that is an acceptable practice then more power  them.

I respect your opinion.  The key is, does the Butlers find this practice offensive.  The answer is in my opinion, No.  The reason the pre-tip is an issue has been explained over and over again.  The butlers were getting stiffed.  The guest thought they were part of the normal tip process.  

 

I am the one that suggested a butler letter and tip upfront.  I recommended it four years ago in an CruiseCritic.com op-ed. This was just not an idea I came up with on a random trip. It was developed only after many conversations with Butlers on more then one brand.  The letter if written correctly explains the reasoning.  It is controversial to tip upfront because that is not the way the cruise industry has done this in the past.  My goal, was to take the Hit/Miss service from butlers and make is a Win/Win for everyone.  It has worked perfectly for me and those that have commented after cruised.

 

I spend 12 months waiting for and saving for a cruise.  Anything I can do to make the experience better that is legal, moral and ethical are on the table. If one has always had great butlers than they should do what suits them.  By the way, I learned this technique when I did several assignments in Germany.  They paid me upfront for my services.  It was weird at first then I realized it was about trust and appreciation.  

 

Cruise well and enjoy every moment.

 

[graphicguy]

There’s something of a tipping mentality on a cruise ship, especially in the NCL HAVEN.  Personally, I don’t see how one can possibly tip everyone who you encounter on a cruise ship that offered assistance.  I’d be pulling out stacks of greenbacks every time I turned around.

 

For example, I only tip one of the Concierges.  There are 3 of them usually.  The one that helped me the most during the week, gets the tip.  I think they may share them.

 

Haven Bartender(s)….$1/drink!  Casino bartenders….$1 chip/drink.

 

Haven restaurant?  I was seated at a different table for each dinner, so probably served by 10 different wait staff.  Gave a tip in an envelope to the concierge to give to whomever distributes them. Sometimes I give the envelope to the restaurant manager.

 

Butler?  Mentioned before. I asked for nothing, and received nothing (aside from some snacks I usually didn’t eat).  Aside from having room service delivered (which I don’t….I force myself to get out and about from my cabin for all meals), I don’t need or want their service.  My cabin steward takes care of me.  S/He gets tipped, too.

 

Bartenders around the ship that serve me well?  $1/drink.

[LGW59]

23 minutes ago, Sthrngary said:

I respect your opinion.  The key is, does the Butlers find this practice offensive.  The answer is in my opinion, No.  The reason the pre-tip is an issue has been explained over and over again.  The butlers were getting stiffed.  The guest thought they were part of the normal tip process.  

 

I am the one that suggested a butler letter and tip upfront.  I recommended it four years ago in an CruiseCritic.com op-ed. This was just not an idea I came up with on a random trip. It was developed only after many conversations with Butlers on more then one brand.  The letter if written correctly explains the reasoning.  It is controversial to tip upfront because that is not the way the cruise industry has done this in the past.  My goal, was to take the Hit/Miss service from butlers and make is a Win/Win for everyone.  It has worked perfectly for me and those that have commented after cruised.

 

I spend 12 months waiting for and saving for a cruise.  Anything I can do to make the experience better that is legal, moral and ethical are on the table. If one has always had great butlers than they should do what suits them.  By the way, I learned this technique when I did several assignments in Germany.  They paid me upfront for my services.  It was weird at first then I realized it was about trust and appreciation.  

 

Cruise well and enjoy every moment.

 

Gary - I always enjoy your very thoughtful and reasonable posts!  IMO your methodology in tipping is well thought and more than reasonable and respectful.  Again IMO, the butler letter, while well intended, can be perceived as a power play, with the customer yielding all the power.  Some here seem to use it as if waving a carrot in front of the bunny.  When I see terms such as “I expect my butler to PRESENT his/her self”  and of course include a small piece of the carrot in the envelope, after I put my eyes back in their sockets, to me I see a total and utter abuse of what can and should be a very mutually beneficial relationship.  Like you, I tip very generously, I’ve NEVER had bad service and I always talk WITH the butler/steward and not AT them.  There is an old expression “conceit in weakest minds, strongest works”.  I certainly see that in some of the comments here.  Thank you for your very well intended and informative posts.  

[cabincop]

Where is this haven letter? I’m curious

[pcakes122]

10 hours ago, LGW59 said:

Gary - I always enjoy your very thoughtful and reasonable posts!  IMO your methodology in tipping is well thought and more than reasonable and respectful.  Again IMO, the butler letter, while well intended, can be perceived as a power play, with the customer yielding all the power.  Some here seem to use it as if waving a carrot in front of the bunny.  When I see terms such as “I expect my butler to PRESENT his/her self”  and of course include a small piece of the carrot in the envelope, after I put my eyes back in their sockets, to me I see a total and utter abuse of what can and should be a very mutually beneficial relationship.  Like you, I tip very generously, I’ve NEVER had bad service and I always talk WITH the butler/steward and not AT them.  There is an old expression “conceit in weakest minds, strongest works”.  I certainly see that in some of the comments here.  Thank you for your very well intended and informative posts.  

I agree with this, and I think (hope!) that @Sthrngaryknows how much I appreciate his countless contributions to this forum!  But my hesitance to tip upfront also comes from an experience with a butler on NCL. Only once did I offer a tip on embarkation day and that was only because there was significant furniture rearranging that had to be done to accommodate a piece of medical equipment I had with me.  I know how busy the butlers are on that first day and I just felt so appreciative that he had gone out of his way to take the time to care for this unusual request. Before he left my cabin, I handed him a $50 bill and by the look on his face I could tell immediately that I had definitely done something wrong. He looked very insulted and actually handed it back to me and said "no, this is not necessary."  I told him I didn't mean to offend him but I just wanted to show him I appreciated him. He told me that when the cruise was over was the time for that.

 

He seriously deserved that tip, but I felt terrible for insulting him. He had done something very kind and helpful for another human being, and I handed him cash like dismissing a servant. It hurt his feelings and it was evident. From that point on, I have always tipped only at the end of the cruise, AND only in a proper "thank you" card inside of which I have written a very sincere note of appreciation (calling out specific things the butler has done to made my trip so special.)

 

That said, I'm sure many (maybe even most!) butlers appreciate advance tips and don't care whether or not they are wrapped in toilet paper. However, I don't ever want to take a chance again - like I did that one time - of insulting someone very thoughtful and sensitive who might potentially take my gesture the wrong way.

[The Shrike]

The amount I tip the butler depends on how much we use them and how well the service they provide is.  We got off the Star yesterday after an 11-day cruise.  The first day I told the butler when it comes to snacks don't bring the sweets like cookies and the like if that's what the kitchen is providing.  He took care of that.  Then twice during the cruise I asked for more coffee pods for the Nescafe machine.  Both times he forgot.  I tipped him $60.  Not sure I should have done that much.



 

[BirdTravels]

10 hours ago, cabincop said:

Where is this haven letter? I’m curious

What Haven Letter? Folks right now are talking about letters that they give to their butlers. 

 

We got an email from the pre-concierge around 2 1/2 months prior to departure. And we got a letter and luggage tags around 30 days prior to departure. For us, he pre-concierge offer nothing of value. They can not do anything that you can't do yourself. 

[cabincop]

3 minutes ago, BirdTravels said:

What Haven Letter? Folks right now are talking about letters that they give to their butlers. 

 

We got an email from the pre-concierge around 2 1/2 months prior to departure. And we got a letter and luggage tags around 30 days prior to departure. For us, he pre-concierge offer nothing of value. They can not do anything that you can't do yourself. 

The one sting wrote. Or Gary. He gives it to butlers. Not the one NCL sends out

[CDR Benson]

Here's a copy of the letter Mr. Tilkin tenders his Haven butlers.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Butler_NCL_Cruises_Template (1).docx

[MsMidge]

2 minutes ago, CDR Benson said:

Here's a copy of the letter Mr. Tilkin tenders his Haven butlers.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Butler_NCL_Cruises_Template (1).docx 25.01 kB · 2 downloads

Wonder if the crew has it posted somewhere, right next to pictures of the wackiest gifts received.  LOL

[CDR Benson]

5 minutes ago, MsMidge said:

Wonder if the crew has it posted somewhere, right next to pictures of the wackiest gifts received.  LOL

 

Back in March, on the "NCL Haven Luxury VIP Experience 'Secrets' REVISED for 2022" thread, I proffered:

 

So many Haven lodgers are relating here that they have submitted, or will submit, a letter to their respective butlers, as Mr. Tilkin recommends.  I will be doing so, as well.  Thus, it occurs to me that the butler staffs on the NCL ships must be noticing this new development from their assigned guests.  It may even, among them, pick up a nickname, such as "the Gary letter".  And at some point, the butlers will come to expect it.

 

Along those lines, I wouldn't be surprised if, in a couple of years or so, the concept of the Gary letter becomes a convention on these boards when discussing the Haven.

 

 

[BirdTravels]

7 minutes ago, CDR Benson said:

Here's a copy of the letter Mr. Tilkin tenders his Haven butlers.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Butler_NCL_Cruises_Template (1).docx 25.01 kB · 2 downloads

 

8 hours ago, cabincop said:

The one sting wrote. Or Gary. He gives it to butlers. Not the one NCL sends out

 

To be truthful, If I were your butler, I would have zero clue what to do with this. 

 

If people have requests, clearly, concisely list those requests in bullets on a note pad. 

1) Please leave bowls of Peanut M&Ms, Gummy Bears, Bar Mix daily

2) Please empty refrigerator and leave a pitcher of ice water and ice tea daily

3) Tomorrow, Thursday, please deliver PB&J sandwiches with chips with the afternoon snacks

 

If you a clear and direct, you will get what you want. If your butler needs to interpret 2 pages of fine print, 90% of which is informational versus a request, you will be disappointed and end up shorting the tip to your poor butler because they did not understand what you wanted. 

[CDR Benson]

14 minutes ago, BirdTravels said:

 

If people have requests, clearly, concisely list those requests . . .

 

If you are clear and direct, you will get what you want. If your butler needs to interpret 2 pages of fine print, 90% of which is informational versus a request, you will be disappointed and end up shorting the tip to your poor butler because they did not understand what you wanted. 

 

I agree---which is why my letter to my Haven butler is shorter.  A bit more than your suggested pencilled list of requests, but somewhat more streamlined than Mr. Tilkin's letter.

 

 

Edited July 27, 2022 by CDR Benson

[graphicguy]

I have offered verbal instructions when/if I’ve had occasion to see/need my Butler (rarely).  Sometimes they follow through…sometimes not.  I left a few examples…..remove the NCL provided champagne (never happened).  Don’t bring chocolate covered strawberries (they started backing up in my room, so that request was ignored).  I could go on.

 

Not trying to dissuade anyone from using their Butlers.  While the NCL Concierges are the best, their Butlers are the worst when compared to Butlers I’ve had on MSC in the YAcht Club or Celebrity’s Personal Cruise assistants.  I tip (usually not) accordingly.

 

Not even sure writing anything down on a piece of paper and giving it to them would make a difference.  My wants are simple and not difficult to follow.  

Edited July 27, 2022 by graphicguy

[Trimone]

29 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

I have offered verbal instructions when/if I’ve had occasion to see/need my Butler (rarely).  Sometimes they follow through…sometimes not.  I left a few examples…..remove the NCL provided champagne (never happened).  Don’t bring chocolate covered strawberries (they started backing up in my room, so that request was ignored).  I could go on.

 

Not trying to dissuade anyone from using their Butlers.  While the NCL Concierges are the best, their Butlers are the worst when compared to Butlers I’ve had on MSC in the YAcht Club or Celebrity’s Personal Cruise assistants.  I tip (usually not) accordingly.

 

Not even sure writing anything down on a piece of paper and giving it to them would make a difference.  My wants are simple and not difficult to follow.  

I totally agree, if someone handed me a note not in my native language with requests I would probably drop it in the bin on the way out.

I can’t understand why someone would want to eat in their room, with a exclusive dining room next door…remember hijacking the butler possibly does someone else out of simple service, they are not exclusive…

[graphicguy]

I recall my Celebrity Cruise on the EDGE in a Sky Suite-Retreat.  The Personal Cruise Concierge (something like a Butler/Concierge hybrid) asked if I wanted him to unpack for me.

 

I opened my rollaboard, dropped my boxers in one drawer, dropped my shorts in another, hung 4 shirts, put shoes in the closet, hung dopp kit on the door of the bathroom, all in about 3 minutes. 

 

He laughed and said, "guess you don't need my help".  I concurred.  He was always around to assist with anything else, though....laundry, billing issues, reservations, etc.

 

My GF would be horrified if a stranger when routing around in her luggage to help her unpack or to put her "things" in drawers and closets.  She'd be just as horrified if someone was doing anything in our cabin while she was still sleeping (or in bed, for that matter).  She sleeps in a t-shirt, at most, and sometimes "au natural" (good thing she doesn't read CC to see this).

Edited July 27, 2022 by graphicguy

[cruiseny4life]

28 minutes ago, Trimone said:

remember hijacking the butler possibly does someone else out of simple service, they are not exclusive

This is a service NCL recommends customers ask for. Sure, they're not exclusive, but it is a service you pay for in the Haven and is one that is mentioned as a perk. I'm more concerned that unpacking a suitcase is an included perk. 

 

[CDR Benson]

I don't intend to have our butler unpack my gear, either.  (I can't speak for the Good Mrs. Benson.)  For the convenience of putting things where I want them, I prefer to unpack myself.

 

Now, when we finally arrive home, after the cruise is complete, that's when I wish we had a butler to unpack my gear.

 

[Shellbelle28]

We've been fortunate to have responsive butlers on 100% of our cruises. We sail in aft suites all the time, and our butlers have been present and genuinely concerned with doing everything to make our cruise great. The only time we sailed on a larger ship (Bliss) vs. our preferred Jewel class, smaller ships, we did see the butler a little bit less, but knew he was around because notes I left were addressed. 

I've found the pre-concierge to be a useful addition. I email them with requests that can be managed ahead of time. I typically want a pitcher of ice water in the refrigerator, refreshed daily, and a pitcher of cream for coffee rather than the little plastic tubs, I also I mention our preferences for the daily snacks. It's always been done and the butler doesn't need to wait until we meet to deal with those in-room items. 

When preparing cash to bring on a cruise I generally plan for $20 per day for the butler, and $10 a day for concierge and room steward given at the end of the cruise and adjust for performance. I've had concierges who were invisible and ones who got worried if we missed a meal, LOL. We also dine daily in the Haven/Suites restaurant on Jewel class ships and usually in Cagney's every evening, so I plan on extra tips to the servers we see daily. 

I've never presented a full out letter to a butler, just because I know English is not typically their first language and I'm never sure the level of reading skill. Brief and bulleted is the way to go in my opinion. Tipping is completely personal, but based on how hard all cruise ship staff work, it makes me feel good to have the means to tip as generously as I'm able. 

[cruise*enthusiast]

On 7/23/2022 at 5:56 PM, slavetoabunny said:

Hubby and I went on a 7-day cruise and we tipped the butler $200 and $100 each to the concierge and room steward.

 

That’s roughly what I was thinking. Does concierge or the room steward get any of the pre-paid gratuities or service charges?