Fixed vs open in the MDR

[Florida_gal_50]

37 minutes ago, KroozNut said:

 

From our 25+ years cruising experience (YMMV), incompatibility with table mates is an extremely rare occurrence. And if it ever occurs (which it probably won't), you can easily change your table.

IOHO, you are basing your dining decisions on some perceived potential situation that will likely never happen.

Spread your wings a bit, reserve a large top table 6+, and enjoy the wonderful experience of meeting new people, some that you will be friends with for many years!

Why should anyone have to explain their preference? I used to share tables but no more.  I’ve had way more than enough of people calling their husband out for eating more than 1/2 and English muffin 🙄.  Also had people praying at the table on multiple occasions.  I’ve had people asking totally inappropriate personal questions.  All very  uncomfortable.   I’ve met a lot of people randomly just by sitting in close proximity that have been really enjoyable.  

[MISTER 67]

22 minutes ago, KroozNut said:

 

Only 67?

Okay, closed minds will sink ships as we used to say in the Navy. 🙈

I was in the Air Force, we have a different mindsets.

[KroozNut]

30 minutes ago, Florida_gal_50 said:

Why should anyone have to explain their preference? I used to share tables but no more.  I’ve had way more than enough of people calling their husband out for eating more than 1/2 and English muffin 🙄.  Also had people praying at the table on multiple occasions.  I’ve had people asking totally inappropriate personal questions.  All very  uncomfortable.   I’ve met a lot of people randomly just by sitting in close proximity that have been really enjoyable.  

 

In all those random scenarios, change your table... problem solved. Really.. you've had multiple occasions of 'people calling their husband out for eating more than 1/2 of an English Muffin'?

If that's your particular experience, I truly feel sorry for you!

Can you offer an example of an 'inappropriate question'? We've never had one..

Praying doesn't bother us, we're pretty accepting of most things..

 

Edited August 20, 2022 by KroozNut

[KroozNut]

5 minutes ago, MISTER 67 said:

I was in the Air Force, we have a different mindsets.

 That is for sure.. but that is a whole 'nother discussion! 😁

[Florida_gal_50]

3 minutes ago, KroozNut said:

 

In all those random scenarios, change your table... problem solved. Really.. you've have multiple occasions of 'people calling their husband out for eating more than 1/2 of an English Muffin'?

If that's your particular experience, I truly feel sorry for you!

Can you offer an example of an 'inappropriate question'? We've never had one..

Praying doesn't bother us, we're pretty accepting of most things..

 

Yes, you are very accepting of people as evidenced from your several posts.  Telling people they must have you same beliefs or they are wrong.  Telling people they are closed minded.  Excellent. This is the perfect example of why I don’t share any tables.  Life is too short to listen to that.

[melehundele]

Personally I prefer open seating, and like begging able to play it loose on the time and the wait service station within the restaurant. Cruises offer something for everyone!

[KroozNut]

14 hours ago, Florida_gal_50 said:

Yes, you are very accepting of people as evidenced from your several posts.  

 

I am indeed, but I do have issues with close minded ones.

 

Telling people they must have you same beliefs or they are wrong.

 

Never said that.

 

14 hours ago, Florida_gal_50 said:

 

Telling people they are closed minded.  Excellent.

 

Many are.. just a statement of fact.

 

14 hours ago, Florida_gal_50 said:

 

This is the perfect example of why I don’t share any tables.  Life is too short to listen to that.

 

You might be surprised at what you are missing by doing that.

[Mary229]

I share breakfast and lunch, table for two at dinner.  We do enjoy inviting people to dine with us in the evening, that is the best of both worlds - interesting conversation and compatibility.   Also having the choice to do so allows us to be quiet and uninvolved after a busy, tiring day.  Yes I could eat elsewhere but I like the dining room

 

i agree it is not closed minded.  Some of us live at a different level of sociability.   

Edited August 20, 2022 by Mary229

[Florida_gal_50]

11 minutes ago, Mary229 said:

I share breakfast and lunch, table for two at dinner.  We do enjoy inviting people to dine with us in the evening, that is the best of both worlds - interesting conversation and compatibility.   Also having the choice to do so allows us to be quiet and uninvolved after a busy, tiring day.  Yes I could eat elsewhere but I like the dining room

 

i agree it is not closed minded.  Some of us live at a different level of sociability.   

Exactly.  I get way too much “socializing” to get my job done.  I get drained from being constantly around others.  It shouldn’t be hard to grasp.  Some people gain energy from being around others, I gain energy from being alone.  Telling others they are wrong blows my mind.

[Navybikermom]

I usually travel solo and always have an early dinner at a large table. I’ve met so many wonderful people and sometimes have been able to have a companion or two when wandering around a port city (instead of a set excursion). I’m pretty tolerant of people’s different beliefs and behaviors, I don’t push mine, and if someone feels the need to dominate the conversation, then I just keep to myself and drink more wine 😉. 
 

Only once have I had a “situation” and it was due to a very disagreeable man at lunch in the MDR. He and his wife (who both appeared to spend more money on cruises than what little teeth they had) were very rude and loud. I was so disgusted at the way he treated the server over a trifle matter with his food that I just got up and left. I asked the staff to never seat me with those two again. 

Edited August 20, 2022 by Navybikermom

[manteonc]

We like meeting people and had a number of nice experiences with assigned tables of 8. We then were assigned a table of folks who thought racist jokes were hysterical and I guess could be described as white nationalists based on political discussion going on. We did not go back after night one and then moved to open seating, table for 2 on future cruises together. I took one cruise on my own and again tried a group table looking forward to conversation and company. I was assigned to a 4 top of very nice people but not anyone I could talk to: an essentially silent elderly woman with her adult truly silent son and a lovely young special needs woman who was trying a trip on her own for this first time to see if she was capable. I think it was the “singles” table?  I did not want to hurt any feeling so went to dinner about half the time.  It was fine, but now we stick to a table for 2, either fixed or open. 

[KroozNut]

37 minutes ago, Florida_gal_50 said:

Exactly.  I get way too much “socializing” to get my job done.  I get drained from being constantly around others.  It shouldn’t be hard to grasp.  Some people gain energy from being around others, I gain energy from being alone.  Telling others they are wrong blows my mind.

 

🤯🤣

[Guardsy]

17 hours ago, KroozNut said:

 

Should have booked sooner is all I can say here.. 😉

Not a worry for us.  We have open seating so we can dine when we want.  The cruise is 50 days out and we were upgraded (for free) from an inside to an ocean view, plus gifted our gratuities.  Basically we paid $2,500 for 2 of us on a 14-day cruise, with Have It All AND gratuities in an ocean view cabin.  That was nearly $1,400 less than the advertised price, not counting the cabin upgrade.

  We'll take it!

[Roz]

17 hours ago, KroozNut said:

Can you offer an example of an 'inappropriate question'? We've never had one..

 

As a solo female cruiser, I've had several very inappropriate questions directed at me.  For example:

 

Why are you by yourself?  Don't you have any friends?

Why aren't you married?  Why didn't you have children?  Do you not like children?

Do you not like men?

 

Need I say more?

[Mary229]

20 minutes ago, Roz said:

 

As a solo female cruiser, I've had several very inappropriate questions directed at me.  For example:

 

Why are you by yourself?  Don't you have any friends?

Why aren't you married?  Why didn't you have children?  Do you not like children?

Do you not like men?

 

Need I say more?

That is an interrogation rather than conversation.   

[julia]

@Roz  That is really shocking!  I look forward to meeting you on the Noordam in a few weeks, where the only topic I might broach will be cats! 😅

 

We've had 20 years of various tables, and only switched one time due to incompatible mates. We were invited to a table for eight, where we had a blast with the other three couples for the next two weeks!

[LMaxwell]

Ehhhhhhhhh....if we meet people onboard through a forum or just get to talking somewhere and hit it off, we have had dinner with others from time to time. I find that anything over 6 people separates into other smaller conversations; 8+ is impossible altogether.

 

I don't really care for the where are you from, what do you do, have you been on a cruise before, conversations at dinner time. We also tend to skip dessert in MDR (walk around for an hour to not feel so full, get coffee and dessert upstairs), so don't want to be in for 90-120 minutes. 

 

I think it's fine to offer people the option that want to be sat w strangers though. 

[Roz]

20 minutes ago, julia said:

@Roz  That is really shocking!  I look forward to meeting you on the Noordam in a few weeks, where the only topic I might broach will be cats! 😅

 

We've had 20 years of various tables, and only switched one time due to incompatible mates. We were invited to a table for eight, where we had a blast with the other three couples for the next two weeks!

 

I love cats, so we'll have lots to talk about. 😺

[FlaMariner]

22 hours ago, KroozNut said:

 

Can you elaborate a bit as to why?

 

Sure.  

 

Just our preference now after many early years of table mates...Always had a good time chatting it up and discussing where folks were from and what they were up to but now, that is just of no interest to us anymore....And quite a bore, frankly.  Not into that chit chat banter especially when we are "together" for two hours and I'd rather be focusing on my food and my lovely bride instead. 

 

Today we prefer the quiet dinner for two (or the family table of 6 when we bring the adult children along). 

 

I'm glad we have choices........different strokes for different folks.

 

 

 

[KroozNut]

1 hour ago, FlaMariner said:

 

I'm glad we have choices........different strokes for different folks.

 

 

 

 

Couldn't agree more! 👍

[cruisemom42]

3 hours ago, Roz said:

 

As a solo female cruiser, I've had several very inappropriate questions directed at me.  For example:

 

Why are you by yourself?  Don't you have any friends?

Why aren't you married?  Why didn't you have children?  Do you not like children?

Do you not like men?

 

Need I say more?

 

oh my goodness, that is really beyond the pale!

 

As a solo traveler I have to say I've never run into any of those kinds of inappropriate questions before. Did this happen on HAL?  Yikes...

 

To address the more general question of fixed vs. open seating, I do enjoy dining with others and would say more than 95% of the time have enjoyed the conversations and meeting others. That's a pretty good satisfaction percentage as far as I'm concerned.

 

I prefer open seating to fixed seating on most cruises, since my main focus is on the time ashore and I don't want to have some arbitrary deadline looming over me.  Also, I find early dining too early for me and late dining too late.

 

On HAL in particular it seems that if one does late dining, there is little to do after.  And I wouldn't want to see a show BEFORE having dinner.  First world problems, right? 🤣

 

 

[cccole]

4 hours ago, Roz said:

 

As a solo female cruiser, I've had several very inappropriate questions directed at me.  For example:

 

Why are you by yourself?  Don't you have any friends?

Why aren't you married?  Why didn't you have children?  Do you not like children?

Do you not like men?

 

Need I say more?

I can't even imagine anyone asking the questions you have been asked.  Unbelievable.  Possibly these questions were asked on the same cruise?  Totally despicable!!!  But, being judgmental is not something I tolerate.   Cherie

[Roz]

Yes, this line of questioning happened on HAL, on the Noordam.  It was the weirdest assigned table I've ever had.  It was that cruise that made me branch off into open seating.

[KroozNut]

35 minutes ago, Roz said:

Yes, this line of questioning happened on HAL, on the Noordam.  It was the weirdest assigned table I've ever had.  It was that cruise that made me branch off into open seating.

 

You based your decision to move to open seating forever based on that one-off crazy experience?

 

Did you request to be assigned another table on that cruise, and did that work out?

 

Sorry to hear that you decided to abandon fixed dining altogether based on that one unpleasant experience.

[Roz]

12 hours ago, KroozNut said:

 

You based your decision to move to open seating forever based on that one-off crazy experience?

 

Did you request to be assigned another table on that cruise, and did that work out?

 

Sorry to hear that you decided to abandon fixed dining altogether based on that one unpleasant experience.

 

In retrospect I should have asked to be reassigned, but I kept holding out hope things would improve, and they didn't.  I haven't abandoned fixed dining altogether, but once I tried open seating, I found out there were other advantages that work for me as a solo cruiser.