11 Year Old Fears Cruising - What to do?

[Linda VH]

We want to take him with his Mother and her BF to Alaska in June. We can't really get him to explain too well except to say he is afraid of the icebergs. Last night at dinner (he is our g-son) I broached the subject again and he became very agitated and said he wanted to stay home and we could go. Any suggestions???? TIA, Linda

[reallyitsmema]

I would show him some videos of Alaska and the icebergs and explain to him that it isn't going to be like the Titanic. The Travel Channel has the Great Cruises show that has an episode on the Radiance of the Seas in Alaska, see if you can record that and show him. Something must have spooked him. If he is a reader, take him to the library and look for travel books with lots of pictures to show him he will be fine. I would try to involve him as much as possible in the planning and see if he will open up about why he is scared. Good luck!

[Grandpaul]

Get all the info you can about the Kids Programs and show that to him. Kids always seem to have a good time doing these. If he knows he's going to be with a bunch of other kids his age he might feel differently. Check on this site for threads about the Kids Programs. Maybe your Grandson can ask questions.

[Grandpaul]

If he's afraid of icebergs maybe he could get on an Alaskan cruise thread and ask about them.

[Ivanova]

Has he seen or read about the Titanic?

 

My 13 year old was freaked about our first cruise, but we lucked out .... we were cruising the Bahamas and I just had to explain that if there were icebergs in the Bahamas, there were more serious issues in the world. ;) Of course after 3 Bahamas cruises she finally found out she'd been in the Bermuda Triangle (another freak out session).

 

We just took her (now 17 years old) on an Alaska cruise, and she was too worried after watching the Radiance of the Seas special on the Travel Channel.

[Bill S]

In four cruises to Alaska, I have yet to see what I would call real icebergs. To be sure, I have seen small to large chunks of ice floating around near glaciers, but no icebergs.

To put my observations into perspective, we have been to Antarctica, and it is like "Icebergs R Us" down there. There, we saw true icebergs ranging from semi-truck size to those which dwarfed our ship.

I think you can safely assure your grandson that the odds of seeing an iceberg in Alaska on a cruise ship are slim. Even if your cruise comes across one, the Captain will keep a safe distance from it. I do not recall ever being in any areas night during an Alaska cruise where there might have been ice floating around.

I know it can be tough getting a young child to shed some fears, no matter how well founded they may or may not be. Perhaps some itnernet research might help alleviate his fear, ie, has any othr [passenger ship since the Titantic been sunk by colliding with an iceberg?

[Fritzie]

We just returned from a SB Alaska cruise on the Island Princess. My nine y.o. son had the same fears you're describing--never should have let the kid watch Titanic! But I let him talk about his fears and constantly reassured him we'd be fine. He also watched the Travel Channel show about the Alaska cruise and how careful they are navigating around icebergs. We read these boards together before the cruise and I really talked up all the fun to be had in the Kids' zone and on our excursions. He was still nervous, but once he saw how big the ship was and realized on board he could hardly feel the movement, he relaxed considerably. He was also reassured by the fact that we could see land for most of the cruise. The one night of open sea made him nervous, but he avoided looking outside then.

He ended up having a great time.

Good Luck! :)

[melika091900]

dont talk about icebergs or scenery..

talk about all the fun things on the ship for him,

 

kids program, ping pong , rock walls or whatever,, ,pools

unlimited ice cream etc etc.....

 

 

then maybe he will go ,

and dont show anymore pics.. just show the kid things

 

 

i did this for my daughter

[dforeigner]

Well, in the past 15 years, how many Cruise ships (major lines only) have sunk after striking an iceberg? If the child can mention one, then he has a valid point.:D

[improvgirl]

My dd is 11 and way too smart for her own good.

 

There is no distracting her once she gets an idea in her head, if she thinks there are icebergs or the Bermuda triangle or whatever, no unlimited soda card or smoothie coupon book is going to distract her from those fears!

 

We had to end up just telling her that the first thing you do on a cruise is the safety drill, that everyone has a life jacket, and that unlike the Titanic, everyone is assigned a lifeboat and there are plenty for everyone.

 

Telling her that the boat would never sink was ridiculous because she's not buying it. We had to let her know there's a plan for sinking and then she was OK. She saw Titanic and knows it takes a couple hours and could get off the boat in that time if you have to and if there's enough lifeboats.

[scah]

Hi, and what a wonderful thing to do taking the grandson along. My daughter and I took a cruise when she was 7 years old. Hubby didn't have vacation time. Although we sailed in the Caribbean, her fear was the sharks. She was so busy at the kids club and having a blast on the ship, that sharks rarely came up in conversation. Lots of things to pre-occupy there wondering minds. Have you thought about getting information from the local library on age appropriate iceberg information? Perhaps they have short documentary film on the subject that you could watch together and answer questions and watch for reactions. When I have seen documentaries on the TV, I am truly amazed by the wonders of nature. Not many children have such an opportunity to do such traveling. He'll be the hit of his class at school with all of the amazing stories he will have upon his return.

Best of luck.

[scah]

Hi, and what a wonderful thing to do taking the grandson along. My daughter and I took a cruise when she was 7 years old. Hubby didn't have vacation time. Although we sailed in the Caribbean, her fear was the sharks. She was so busy at the kids club and having a blast on the ship, that sharks rarely came up in conversation. Lots of things to pre-occupy there wondering minds. Have you thought about getting information from the local library on age appropriate iceberg information? Perhaps they have short documentary film on the subject that you could watch together and answer questions and watch for reactions. When I have seen documentaries on the TV, I am truly amazed by the wonders of nature. Not many children have such an opportunity to do such traveling. He'll be the hit of his class at school with all of the amazing stories he will have upon his return.

Best of luck.

[Fergus]

Lots of good suggestions - but you and your daughter are going to have to decide whether to take the "de-sensitize him to what he's envisioning" or "distract him with discussions of fun activities" route. Our daughter has generalized anxiety disorder and she gets very stressed before any vacation mainly because she doesn't know exactly what 's going to happen at every moment and it will mean that her daily routine will be interrupted.

 

If the child continues to be very anxious about it, I would recommend seeing a therapist - they can determine whether this really is just a fear developed from too many media images, or a symptom of an underlying problem. We discovered with our daughter that some of her anxieties/phobias (phobia of storms was her main one - quite the problem on a Caribbean cruise!!) were actually symptoms of other issues, and once we realized what those were, we could deal with them!

 

Good luck - it's so difficult to deal with that kind of reaction when everyone else is so looking forward to a wonderful vacation!

 

Libby

[imnance]

he wanted to stay home and we could go.

 

Sounds like a plan to me.

 

Many people have irrational fears. As adults, we can avoid situations that make us uncomfortable. Why should a kid, who's fears are as real as an adult's if not more, not be given the same consideration?

 

I realize that this is a child and he can be forced to go on this cruise, but if he is truly fearful and miserable the whole trip I doubt anyone will enjoy it.

[cb at sea]

Perhaps you should do a Caribbean cruise instead--no icebergs there!

[Toyz711]

i would take him to the library and get many, many books on travel to alaska and the inside passage. the more you educated him the better he can overcome his fears.

also, get some books on icebergs..that way he can learn they aren't in that area. read these books with him, let him react to when he reads and discuss it.

another way, many of us have videos and photos in our signatures. let him browse the photos on his own.

all the ports have websites, great websites with a lot of information...both on the sites and some you can send for.

http://www.traveljuneau.com/

http://www.fs.fed.us/r10/tongass/districts/mendenhall/

http://www.skagway.com/

http://www.visit-ketchikan.com/

http://www.alaskacruises.com/alaska_glacier_viewing.asp

he is old enough to read and research this stuff by himself. then he can talk about what he learn. include the gold rush history of skagway.

[newmexicoNita]

We want to take him with his Mother and her BF to Alaska in June. We can't really get him to explain too well except to say he is afraid of the icebergs. Last night at dinner (he is our g-son) I broached the subject again and he became very agitated and said he wanted to stay home and we could go. Any suggestions???? TIA, Linda

We had the same problem with our granddaughter about 10 years ago. She kept saying, she really didn't want to cruise, but wouldn't say why. Eventually it boiled down to about the same thing. Of course we did cruise, she loved every minute of it and at 21 would probably rather cruise than do almost anything. Her fear came from Titanic, but it can come from anywehre. Nita

[onthelake]

My son is almost 14 and has cruised since he was 18 months so no fear but what I would suggest is getting the free DVD cruise lines will send you. Watching it is so much fun and exciting. My son loves the DVDs and looks at them as a 'pre-souveneir'.

[dforeigner]

Perhaps you should do a Caribbean cruise instead--no icebergs there!

 

Sure, but then you would have the pirates to worry about!:D

[Linda VH]

Thank you everyone that has responded so far. I went to the travel channel to see if they had a DVD on the Alaska cruise show but no go. I forgot about the cruise line videos! Good idea! Also good idea re the books - well they were all good ideas actually!!! I don't want to leave him home. My fear is that he will, if indulged, develop a phobia that will last him into adulthood. Not just about cruising but about flying as well. My neighbor's son is in college and all his roomies went to Greece for a vacation this summer (hostels, etc.) but he did not. Not because he couldn't get the money together but because he is afraid to fly. I don't want that to happen to my g-son. I thought about having him see a therapist and might just do that as well. He has had anxiety issues in the past and saw this therapist so I'll try that too! Silly me thought he'd be jumping for joy to go - I would have been. Linda

[clackey]

You could leave him home with Gramps. Then he would be out of your hair and sis could tell him about all of the neat things that you saw and did. Then slide about 100 pictures of the glaciars and fjords surrounded by breathtaking mountains and let him rethink things. But that is just my 2 cents worth.

 

P.S. Can you tell that I don't like kids?;)

[songanddance]

Very touchy question on a public board but feel that I must ask it any way. Does he feel comfortable traveling other places with his mother and her BF?

[clackey]

Very touchy question on a public board but feel that I must ask it any way. Does he feel comfortable traveling other places with his mother and her BF?

You could have something here, S&D. This could very well stem from something other than a fear of icebergs.

[LoneStarJeffe]

I do not see the benefit of taking someone on a cruise if they do not want to go. I love cruising and certainly understand why you want to share a very wonderful way to see and explore other places. I have no problem asking for help on how to overcome fear and encourage going. But at some point, if the person does not want to go, you have to prioritize what is really most important. Is it taking this cruise or is it spending a vacation together. If you reach that point of making that decision, I sincerely hope you consider choosing a vacation together that everyone, including this child, can be excited about and enjoy together.

[soletread]

Im sure he is old enough to deal with logical facts

 

Remind him the Titanic went down in 1912 it was in the north Atlantic not off the east coast of Alaska.

 

Since then radar and Satalite have been invented and ships can spot a small sailing boat over 30 miles away so theres no chance of an Iceberg popping up out of no where

 

A question that might relate can he swim? If not that could be in his mind.

 

On a lighter not we cruised with my wifes Grandmother a few years back when she said her only concern was not be able to swim I had to laugh I said well I can swim but not from one side of the Atlantic to other