The Dream? Or the Nightmare? (or why I may give up cruising?)

[BBsails]

"I have to admit, I was looking forward to the Falklands – having signed up for a glass bottom boat ride so I could see the Argentinean Navy." Priceless!

[Seago2]

Are you one of the striking network writers that went on a cruise and skipped the picket line. Thanks for the review.:)

 

That has to be it!

[racepoint]

Absolutely the best, comedic, tongue-in-cheek review containing some of the most humorous one-liners that I've ever read on these boards. One of my favorites not already mentioned . . ."So there we sat. A free open bar, lights ablaze, and the band playing on while we noted that our ship now held the record for the most Japanese tonnage sunk since 1945."

You and Sailor Jill can share a table with us any time. You're a hoot!

[Joanniebop]

Without a doubt, the most interesting , entertaining post ever on CC.

 

Thank you

[Joanniebop]

Without a doubt, the most interesting , entertaining post ever on CC.

 

Thank you

[Jana]

I knew I was hooked when I got to the part of the warning in German about the small shower and the sexy wife. I was laughing; my daughter had some Christmas Eve chores for me but I wouldn't leave the screen. So she did them while I read it aloud to her.

 

Thank you for brightening the evening for both of us. Fabulous!

 

Merry Christmas.

 

Jana

[coka]

I had avoided this post thinking it was just another whiner...oh my gosh, I had to stop and laugh my hiney off after each sentence! Ever do stand-up comedy or write for one? Are you allowed to say which Captain hit the barge?

Coka

[ayeamcdn]

Best I've read, a novel must be in the works? Your Bill Murray nearly knocked me off my chair. &, (as any cruise review should do) I got a good feel for the adventure & the sites. It sure made me sit up & notice when you give your B.C. credentials then say the Mts & fiords were spectacular.

THANKS

[bulgargirl]

"I have to admit, I was looking forward to the Falklands – having signed up for a glass bottom boat ride so I could see the Argentinean Navy." Priceless!

 

That was my favorite line too!

 

I'm still confused about the person that said this post was as funny as a funeral. I've been to some funny funerals, well - wakes (the Irish side of the family gets kinda crazy). But think that wasn't supposed to be a compliment?

[Nancyquilts]

Sailor Jack -

:D :D :D

Thanks for the review - loved your writing. Nancy

[Jana]

I had avoided this post thinking it was just another whiner...oh my gosh, I had to stop and laugh my hiney off after each sentence! Ever do stand-up comedy or write for one? Are you allowed to say which Captain hit the barge?

Coka

 

I read that the barge line snapped off the tug and actually ran into the Dream! I couldn't find the article again, does anyone know? It made it sound as though it was unavoidable and not the fault of the Dream's captain...

 

Jana

[sacway]

Thanks for a truly funny review that doesn't soft-peddle the cruise line's problems (this lowest-rank NCL ship doesn't have much more life in it, without some serious time in rehab.)

 

Here's my favorite line:

"We awake to clear skys, strong winds, and heavy seas, but we are sailing due south at normal speed and are on schedule for Punta Arenas. No. Wait! That was yesterday. Today we are adrift in the South Atlantic Ocean with no power."

It's death by 1000 paper cuts.

 

May I be so fortunate as to have you as a fellow cruiser on one of my tours.

[petesweet]

Well, since we're pulling out our favorite parts, here's JUST ONE of mine:

 

Well, to make a long story short, not only did the Aroma Therapy not work, but I now find myself crossing my legs and dangling my shoes off the ends of my toes when I sit. On the positive side, I have to admit I do smell pretty good.

 

I think SailorJill probably has her hands full.:)

 

Merry Christmas, everyone.

[spearmint]

What a hoot! Full of one-liners that made me laugh. So much so that the itinerary from hell is just a footnote to the story. (I think that my favorite is also the glass-bottomed boat to view the Argentinian Navy.:D)

 

As I read, I also wondered (a) if you were a writer, and (b) if you were originally a result of Britain's education system. And I know that I would not have had your grace-under-pressure had it been I who was on that ship! Thanks for a great read.:)

[sjbdtz]

My favorite line was the notion that the Dream was "pouting" due to its upcoming sale.... :)

 

 

I echo the sentiments of others. If you aren't a writer currently, you should quit your day job!

 

Your writing style is emminently compelling, with just the right mix of wry wit... a real "page-turner" style.

 

Bravo.

[easyville]

Hi, I was on the Dream with Captain Lars and Captain Mogic.

Mogic had been on for one day when the barge "drifted" into the Dream:rolleyes:.

Not sure who replaced him.

[Bisous3]

SailorJack, that was the best review EVER to appear on CC.

 

All I kept thinking was "oooooh.....that poor Captain- how is he going to explain THIS one to the boss"?

[GROOVERS]

BRAVO! BRAVO! What a great review!:D

[WinnieinWA]

That was the best 'read' I've had in a long time. Thank you for writing it. It made my day!:) As others have said.. if you do not write professionally you certainly should!!

[Bigdog49]

My hero - what a great review with great lessons for all of us. We all have choices and some like SailorJack appear to take advantage of them.

 

While I am sure many stood in line at the main desk with blood pressure rising demanding compensation or the were going to hold a sit in for being "stuck" in port for another day he chose to get the gang together, find that guide, and chose to enjoy the day.

 

It was preasure to read, learn something, and have smile on face throughout. Very sweet lemonaide.

 

Thanks

[CathyK2]

Sailor Jack,

 

This has to be the best review I've ever read. You'd definitely be a person I'd love to be on a cruise with. Talk about taking sour lemons and making lemonade!!!!! I love your sense of humor!

 

Cathy

[NickCDN]

By far, the most entertaining cruise report I have ever read!

[Lowie]

wow, just wow.. excellent review. whata great outlook on life you have! the part about the aromatherapy almost made me fall out of my chair!

[RoofingPrincess]

I want to cruise with SailorJack and SailorJill!!

Truly they are glass-half-full people, with a wonderfully dry wit and gift for expression.

I am SO glad my friend Wrona pointed out this thread to me - it made my day!!

[zachnlucy]

... but at “maybe around six, six-thirty, or sevenish.” I had expected to hear “we will be leaving at 1600 hours”, or maybe “we will leaving at 8 bells”, or even “we will be sailing on the next tide”. But Sevenish? Is it possible that our new Captain is, like, from the Valley? ...

 

Your review rocked! Fantastic style! My husband came in a few minutes ago and asked if I had lost my mind. I guess I wasn't using my "inside laugh." Thanks for taking the time to do this.