Let's try again - Is this dress O.K. or too young?

[cruisegal101]

I am wondering why a dress is only worn one time since I buy things that I love and wear them many times. Am I the only one who does this?:confused:

[Hoyaheel]

It's not ok for people to offer the opinion your dress is too young, but it is ok to say black is boring and those who wear it look like they're heading for a night at the opera? Which, by the way, I think you intended as an insult but I think most people heading for the opera look stunning:p

 

Tact & diplomacy are always welcome, and I would hope we all voice our opinions in the nicest way possible....

[momofmeg]

If you are in shape why not? It is more about being in shape then age I feel. I do believe many women over 60 could get away with that dress.

 

I am 54 and just 2 or 3 years ago I was a size 8 and I could have worn it. Now that I am a size 14 I wouldn't though.

 

I think you can look in the mirror and see if the dress flatters you or is unattractive on you. Just check yourself out from ALL angles.

 

In my mind forty is not old.

[vmom]

Wow!

 

If that's your "fairly newly regained figure" then congratulations are in order.

 

Any secrets you want to share?

[Gingee]

Okay everyone chill. She got her answers and no it does not look promish and now she can't wear it because the other people aren't dressing up. Hey, dress up anyhow. Who cares? You deserve it. When is your next cruise? Do you have to wait a long time to wear it?

[smoothdancer]

My upcoming cruise with 3 formal nights, all of my gowns are repeats!, that is gowns I have worn once before. Why? because I love them all and look forward to wearing then again.

 

But like the poster I also love to shop for formal gowns and often I will buy new gowns even though I do have a closet full of wonderful gowns. For me this time around I am looking forward to gowns I already have worn.

[Jane110]

khill,

 

I'm one of the ones that's not crazy about the dress - but then you'd think my sexy black dress looks like I'm headed for a "night at the opera", which you meant as an insult, right? I'm more of a ballet fan, but do get an opera once a year, and think that many there look quite chic. But I won't feel insulted that you don't like my taste for black and dressing up when I go to Lincoln Center. :)

 

However, one thing you say really baffles me, and that is why do you need to conform to what the other ladies in your group will be wearing? I have to say that's kind of odd to feel the pressure that you should all dress like them - casual - on formal night when you just bought a new dress that you feel sexy in and your DH loves on you. Unless it was agreed upon that you're all going on a picnic by the pool instead of dining in the dining room, I think that if you love the dress, you should wear it. If they don't like it.....well, too bad for them. :)

 

Also curious as to why you save dresses for cruises only? I try to get many wearings out of my things, especially ones that make me feel sexy when I wear them.

[k.hill]

I Didn't mind at all that some said too young...too promy... I just didn't like the hurtful way a few people chose to say some things.

 

My apologies for those offended...I should have said the black dress comment in a different way...black dresses can truly be most elegant and lovely. I love the opera look - and truly didn't mean for that to be an insult....I just am totally thrilled when cruisers are dressed in fun, bright, colorful gowns .....just brings the whole dining room to life...for me...it's just more "Vacationy"(horrible word...but you understand) Also, I have many,many, many cruise pics with black or dark gowns and in my experience...the backgrounds and the photos often do not do the gowns justice.

 

My comment "fairly newly regained figure" is actually a rather silly way to say I've lost almost 30 lbs....but please don't look for any advice. I am, and have always been thin, but have had a severe illness since January that caused my weight drop. I am actually having surgery 2 days after we return from our cruise in order to try to get my health back in order. This may also be why some of the comments hurt my feelings more than I think they usually would or probably should have. ("&^%$" hormones and all that)

 

The ladies I am cruising with in 2 weeks are my sister and her friend..we planned the cruise together for the 3 couples and I have no problems putting my formals and my desire to show off the "skinny bod" on the back burner so that we will all be in similar style for dinner, pics, etc. I am a bit disappointed by Carnival's relaxing their formal nights...it was kind of exciting to have those 4 nights or so a year to dress and be fancy with my DH. The upside is that quite a few cool cocktail dresses that I actually know which shoes to wear with (well...I think I know).

 

There are many reasons I do not get to wear most evening dresses more than once. 1:my DH buys 1 pic of each formal night and he puts them up. I do NOT want more pics of me in same dresses over and over. 2: DH really likes me to have a new dress for each nights photo op..(he's really in to the photos....took over 1000 pics for our last cruise on the Destiny) Also, I am a teacher and a tomboy. My students see me in dresses like once or twice a year...because I just typically don't like to mess with jewelry...and shoe matching...and involved hair doing, etc... and am probably not very good at all of that either. There is actually no where at home where I would or would really want to wear these dresses...for me...it is cool to only 3 or 4 times a year on our cruises.

 

Thanks to posters for all the advice, etc. I really thought I would have 2 or 3 cruiser women give advice, maybe help with alteration/shoe ideas and that would be all. To be honest...I'm a bit overwhelmed by how busy this thread has been. Let me say again "Thanks" Sorry to anyone if I seemed overly touchy or easily offended, etc. That was not my intention...I have had a stressful month and often speak/type first and think later.

 

I agree with and will keep in mind the best advice on this thread....wear what you like and what makes you and yours happy. Last big thank-you's to posters who were sweet, funny, friendly, etc. that's been a big boost the last few weeks preparing for my cruise (YES!!) and my surgery (YUCKOLA).

 

C ya on the high seas

K. Hill ( should change my name to LONG WINDED) hehe

[Wags67]

Hi K.Hill.....don't really know how to respond to this thread...I'll try...

I hope you can take all the positives and forget the negatives...I personally don't like when threads go negative, even when it is a posters opinion....I just think posters need to state opinions in a more polite way...It is impossible to know what struggles or challenges people have going on in their lives that influence a certain question or even a response and that's why we should maintain a positive surrounding on the threads....Again opposite opinions are fine; just post in a repectful way....Congratulations on your weight loss, I'm proud of you:) Have a wonderful cruise and don't forget to post a cruise review when you get back...

T's & P's for you when you return...

(I'm in my 40's also & dress what I'm comfortable with...we can still be sexy at 40!)

[Gathina]

When you post on a public bulletin board, you have to be ready for all kinds of scrutiny and misunderstanding so you have to be able to "take it" and get used to it.

 

Having read this post quoted below, it looks like you had your mind made up anyways and didn't really need our opinions.

 

Get over it. Wear the dress, drop it, and move on. WhR''s the deal with having to conform to the other women in the group? Tone it down? For what? Your afraid you'll look out of place or are you that self conscious? I don't get it..you asked and received all these opinions and now what matters is what the rest of your cruise ladies think? You wear what you want, why does it have to be a group decision?

 

 

O.K. This is ridiculous. I am a big-time tomboy and rarely, if ever, dress up, and wanted a few honest opinions of whether the dress seemed too much like a prom dress. I also wanted to see how many would think this dress was too young for a 40 year old. Thank you very much for those who posted, (well most..that is). I respect those that were able to convey their opinions well and thanks very much for the input. Conversely, I did not expect the few mean, hateful, tasteless or hurtful remarks....and unfortunately....a few of those were thrown in.

 

For the record...this is a $150.00 dress...extremely well made...material is not at all cheap....just a little promy-promish - the dress was on clearance for $15.00, along with many others. I refuse to spend hundreds of dollars on dresses for each cruise since we cruise up to twice a year and I will never rewear many that I have purchased. I COULD buy any dress / any$ I want, but I'm not wasting money for something that will be worn only ONCE. What I wanted was something to show of my fairly newly regained figure and NOT BLACK AND BORING.

 

THE DECISION - I have major nerve...and hate to look like everyone else and I WILL wear the dress...it's hot...it's bright...it's fun and I still like it... for a future cruise. My DH (whose opionion counts more than any)said it was "sexy, young," and "loved the color" - Unfortunately for now...the dress will be shelved out of respect for the other women cruising with me. My cruisemates for my upcoming cruise have chosen to tone it down and we will be doing more casual sundress/toned down cocktail dresses for this cruise - so this dress will be worn - next cruise.

 

My suggestions for others: #1 DON'T ask for opinions if you can't take it....some people have NO TACT and therefore are unable to post an opinion without being hurtful and really a bit rude.

#2 please....DON'T wear black...unless you have to....it's sooooooooooooooo boring... 3/4 of the women on the ship will have black/navy on and it is NOT the best color for many of the beautiful ships portraits...have fun....it's a cruise....I hate when the whole room REEKS with the "night at the opera" look.

#3 Wear what makes YOU happy...well you....and the man/woman who might want to jump your bones when the garment is finally removed.

 

Thanks to all...hope you'll all be cruising soon. See you on the high seas.

 

 

 

Thanks again for everyone's time, opinions, shoe advice (I'm crappy at shoes)....it's been...well interesting. I am truly hoping that this ends the debate and what has become an alarmingly long thread.

[karen sharpe]

"Live and Learn!"

True a few responses come from negative posters but most of us our just expressing an opinion from our own personal point of view, we are all very different.

It is often difficult to express these views in the written language without suggesting an underlying meaning.

Many times the message is not clearly understood because of other factors are missing such as body language, tone of voice and emotions.

Trust yourself, if you like your dress, wear it.

And be proud of the fact that you generated a very interesting thread with over 2000 hits!:)

[iheartbda]

"Live and Learn!"

True a few responses come from negative posters but most of us our just expressing an opinion from our own personal point of view, we are all very different.

It is often difficult to express these views in the written language without suggesting an underlying meaning.

Many times the message is not clearly understood because of other factors are missing such as body language, tone of voice and emotions.

Trust yourself, if you like your dress, wear it.

And be proud of the fact that you generated a very interesting thread with over 2000 hits!:)

 

Karen I agree with you except for one thing. Even though it is hard in the written language, heaven knows I've been ripped for what I thought was a compleletly innocent comment, there was no misunderstanding some of the "observations" about the dress.

 

There is a kinder and gentler way to tell someone a dress might not be the right one as opposed to looks cheap, costumy, tacky,etc. :)

[patches12]

I have read all of these posts and the other ones too. I am amazed at the thoughtlessness of some of the remarks. Is it because posters are anonymous? You feel you can say anything? Thank goodness MOST of the remarks were positive or at least kind. Kudos to all of you!

 

Has anyone ever seen the teen movie "Mean Girls"? I sort of understand it when teenage girls make fun of each other since they are pretty much into themselves....not all are though. Many teen girls have absolutely wonderful characters and actions.

 

Now I understand why some teen girls are meaner than others after reading these posts. I am sure I have angered those negative posters, but I will not respond back. I would never ask any teenage girl for an opinion of an adult's dress. I would hear/see something I wouldn't want to hear/see ....old lady....fat....snickering,..eye rolls.....:D I have to remember that I was once young too and KNEW IT ALL just like teenagers.

 

To the OP.....you look amazing no matter what age you are! The ruching (sp?) makes any figure look better. They do that with a lot of plus size swimsuits and dresses, so it would make your trim and slim figure look even tinier! ( I am not saying your dress is a plus size.) I am jealous. What a tiny waist you have! Vivian Leigh has nothing on you! (Gosh I hope you know who she was...I am so old!)

 

You wear what you want. You are not going naked, and that is all that matters. :D It certainly doesn't matter if you only paid $15.00 for the dress either. I just paid $15.00 for a teal beaded dress with scalloped edges. (It was new from Macy's; just on clearance and I got lucky!)

While I certainly won't look as slim as you, it fits me like a dream....with a little help from my friend SPANX.:eek: Trust me, if I thought I could wear 4 spanx at the same time I would. Probably wouldn't be able to eat though. Would probably relocate all my internal organs with 4 of them on. :eek: I thought about posting my dress here, but probably won't now. I am SO one of those people who worry about other people not liking me or the way I look....just the way my "MOMMA raised me!" Also probably why these postings got to me.:(

 

I apologize to anyone who feels I have offended them. That was not my intention. I just felt that the OP was being attacked for no reason. She is not your relative, you do not have to be so blunt. She just wanted a little confidence in her choice!

 

OP-I hope your health gets better, and your surgery goes well.

 

:D OP...Now who was long-winded??? I think I beat you! Sorry again for any offense taken.

[SantaAna,CA]

Can we now end this thread?

[Texaswinediva]

Can we now end this thread?

 

 

If you want to end it, why are you still reading it and posting??:D

[SantaAna,CA]

I was trying to appeal to the adult in people. Sorry it didn't work!

[mousey]

I think that dress looks great and is very flattering on you and would be a fun option for a formal night. If it was me, I would wear some silver or neutral colored shoes rather than black. Have a GREAT time!!

 

I agree, any metallic heel would be better than the black.:D To quote "You look fabulous darling!"

[Jane110]

I was trying to appeal to the adult in people. Sorry it didn't work!

 

Huh? The thread should end because you want it to, and anyone that doesn't heed your suggestion isn't adult? That seems kinda harsh.

 

When I lose interest in a thread, I just stop reading it and I think that's what most adults do.

[momofmeg]

Huh? The thread should end because you want it to, and anyone that doesn't heed your suggestion isn't adult? That seems kinda harsh.

 

When I lose interest in a thread, I just stop reading it and I think that's what most adults do.

 

My thoughts exactly.

[ITZlemonade14]

The dress is fabulous and it looks great on you! I would say silver strappy shoes would look perfect!

[Happy ks]

Karen I agree with you except for one thing. Even though it is hard in the written language, heaven knows I've been ripped for what I thought was a compleletly innocent comment, there was no misunderstanding some of the "observations" about the dress.

 

There is a kinder and gentler way to tell someone a dress might not be the right one as opposed to looks cheap, costumy, tacky,etc. :)

 

 

Why in the world would you take comments from a message board so personal?

 

I've been "ripped" a few times, but I always look at it with humor and have to admit there have been a couple of times when I "ripped" right back (not shining moments for me :rolleyes: ).

 

You have to read here with the attitude that these are people from all over, many have such differing opinions. What one might be wearing in one region of the world may be absolutely atrocious to someone in another region. You can't read "tone", there have been times when people get their britches in a wad over a comment that is intended to be humorous.

 

I think you just have to have thicker skin if you are going to read anything on a public message board. Think of it like driving on a freeway, that totally jerky man who just cut you off may be the nicest gentleman in person. So don't always assume anything of anyone until you get to "know" them. This message board is extremely kind and sensitive in comparison to many others out there.

[Gathina]

Half the time, I think when someone posts for feedback on a dress they already have their mind up they are going to wear it...even if it looks awful on them..and they are just looking for someone to justify their decision to wear it...THEN they get a bug up their butt because someone disagreed with them.

 

The one thing I really hate about these boards is that people are sometimes afraid to give an honest opinion. There was a thread on here awhile back where a girl posted a picture of a dress which most people wuld agree was very unflattering for a big overweight girl...out there, cut down to there, too high there, etc...and everyone on the thread basically told her she had such pretty eyes and how the dress complimented here eyes..nothing about the unflattering fit, the fact that she spilled out everywhere..instead of people telling her to buy a larger dress or a more flattering style people started telling her how to expand the dress so she could wear it, or how to cover up the obsecene parts. That thread made no sense to me!

 

Why in the world would you take comments from a message board so personal?

 

I've been "ripped" a few times, but I always look at it with humor and have to admit there have been a couple of times when I "ripped" right back (not shining moments for me :rolleyes: ).

 

You have to read here with the attitude that these are people from all over, many have such differing opinions. What one might be wearing in one region of the world may be absolutely atrocious to someone in another region. You can't read "tone", there have been times when people get their britches in a wad over a comment that is intended to be humorous.

 

I think you just have to have thicker skin if you are going to read anything on a public message board. Think of it like driving on a freeway, that totally jerky man who just cut you off may be the nicest gentleman in person. So don't always assume anything of anyone until you get to "know" them. This message board is extremely kind and sensitive in comparison to many others out there.

[iheartbda]

Why in the world would you take comments from a message board so personal?

 

I didn't say I was taking anything personally.:confused:

 

I've been "ripped" a few times, but I always look at it with humor and have to admit there have been a couple of times when I "ripped" right back (not shining moments for me :rolleyes: ).

 

I've ripped people as well but I like to think it was in a tempered way.;)

 

You have to read here with the attitude that these are people from all over, many have such differing opinions. What one might be wearing in one region of the world may be absolutely atrocious to someone in another region. You can't read "tone", there have been times when people get their britches in a wad over a comment that is intended to be humorous.

 

Exactly, you cannot always read the tone but that's what the smilies are for and they can really make a difference. Regional fashions are one thing but manners should be universal.:)

 

 

I think you just have to have thicker skin if you are going to read anything on a public message board. Think of it like driving on a freeway, that totally jerky man who just cut you off may be the nicest gentleman in person. So don't always assume anything of anyone until you get to "know" them. This message board is extremely kind and sensitive in comparison to many others out there.

 

Now, why in the work would you seemingly question my saying there is a kinder and gentler way to tell someone something? This board IS kind and sensitive in comparison but it's all relative. One can't assume anything of anyone on a message board, the only way to get to know them is by their posts. Regulars on CC get to "know" people and know the ones who are being humorous, deliciously sarcastic, etc....but many do not.

 

I think I have a fairly thick skin but when terms like (not on this board), "lowlife", trailer park" are thrown around, the skin does thin out a bit.

 

I see nothing wrong with some decorum and common courtesy.:)

[cabernet]

Is this too young for 40 somthing, or can I get away with it? I thought maybe a little too promy/promish? Very open to honest opinions.

 

Other pic just doesn't really show what the dress actually looks like on me, so I'm trying again. Honest opinions are very welcome - after last picture being compared to streetwalker and mambo queen - nothing can phase me now. I have attached ACTUAL picture.

 

Let's try again - can I do this for fun/formal night...It is my 12th or so cruise and I am sooooo sick of boring black evening dresses and dresses that are just a couple steps away from maid of honor.

 

Thanks

I think the dress looks good on you. Part of the fun of a cruise is dressing in flashy clothes. I also give you kudos for using some color. I collect vintage clothes and have a whole closet full of unusual stuff. Last year we took a 25 day cruise and I did not wear the same thing twice to dinner. I got alot of complements on my clothes. You might also try E-bay, I have had good luck on there getting unique stuff. I found that by keeping my dresses in the plastic from the drycleaners that they don't get too wrinkled. Have fun!

[jenniferluvs2cruise]

khill,

 

I'm one of the ones that's not crazy about the dress - but then you'd think my sexy black dress looks like I'm headed for a "night at the opera", which you meant as an insult, right? I'm more of a ballet fan, but do get an opera once a year, and think that many there look quite chic. But I won't feel insulted that you don't like my taste for black and dressing up when I go to Lincoln Center. :)

 

However, one thing you say really baffles me, and that is why do you need to conform to what the other ladies in your group will be wearing? I have to say that's kind of odd to feel the pressure that you should all dress like them - casual - on formal night when you just bought a new dress that you feel sexy in and your DH loves on you. Unless it was agreed upon that you're all going on a picnic by the pool instead of dining in the dining room, I think that if you love the dress, you should wear it. If they don't like it.....well, too bad for them. :)

 

Also curious as to why you save dresses for cruises only? I try to get many wearings out of my things, especially ones that make me feel sexy when I wear them.

 

 

I would like to answer a question that you ask if I may. I see that you are from NY, I have read a lot of threads here in the past 4 months and just recently decided to post. I have found that you have no problem or shame to give your opinion (which is fine I guess) but it is comments such as your last one that IMO really upsets most posters that you have commented to. You live in NY and you come off with this attitude that every state, town, street should be just like yours....I don't know if you have ever seen rural MN, IN, OH, FL, and etc.. There are more places to live other than NY and the culture and dress codes are so much different than they are in NY. All I'm trying to convey to you that it's ok to have your opinion (which is just as important as everyone's here) but please quit slamming people for not being as you are or claim to be. I don't think

the poster ment anything about her comment and it was not rude.

Please consider that people who live in rural areas don't have functions such as the opera, Lincoln Center, ballet, or places such as they do in NY to go to every weekend and wear those clothes that cost money to only wear 1 or 2 times. Just my thought and nothing rude on any level is meant here. I do enjoy reading some of your post though and you have added a lot of good advice. :)