How much freedom do you give your teen?

[cyndiehabs]

We are sailing 14 night Med August 1st IOS. Will have a 15, 14, 13 and 9 year old. Can the youngest sign out (seems risky)? Would you let the older ones go about on their own? What do the clubs do to keep you in touch (pagers?). Are the clubs that great that they will want to stay in? Thanks :)

[oakley2414]

I'm 24 now and my parents let me go on my own since I was about 8 years old. I'd say your kids are very safe. I also would end up with other kids I'd meet on the ship. We'd sometimes do the kids program and sometimes be on our own. Would all depend on the time of the day. As long as my brother and I checked in occasionally my parents let us go free and as far as I can remember we were always pretty good..

[peteranddan]

Unfortunately, from my experiences, parents rarely supervise their children onboard. It seems that there is this mindset that once you board, there's no way of escaping, so what the heck...

 

I have no experience with the youth clubs or activites so I don't know if they "sign in" and "sign out". I would assume that even if they did "sign out", that the club would not have enough staff to contact every parent each time the child "signs out" prior to the event being over. I could be wrong.

 

Again, from my previous experiences, most youth will find friends of their own age group and chum around the ship together. Whether they behave or not is fully dependant on how the child was raised, and how influenced they are by the other children.

 

I have come across "gangs" of children who are rude, yelling, screaming, disruptive, using profanity and generally being little unruly delinquents. On the other hand, I have come across groups of children who are well mannered, say excuse me or please and thank you and are just having fun. The later is rare.

[DFritz]

We started taking our daughter on the ships when she was about 13 and we had very strict rules regarding her freedom. Maybe some of these, your option, could be shared with your children.

 

 

At no time can you enter someone else's cabin, with or without their parents present, nor can you bring or allow someone in your cabin.

Under no time can you navigate down a passageway that does not contain your cabin. (no floor where you are not personally berthed)

Curfew given by parents must be strictly adhered to or you relinquish your right to be parentless on the remainder of the trip.

No using the seapass card as a form of credit without parental information. If it takes your seapass card to participate in the activity, it just cost you money.

No running on the ship.

Do not use the elevator like it is an amusement park ride.

Use your manners at all times so as not to create unhappiness in others.

Wash your hands often.

Do not waste food just because it is available.

Always meet the parents at meal times.

Leave notes often to keep others in your party informed.

Be where you say you are going to be.

Have fun, meet new friends, and try new things.

 

 

As to the teen club: parents, check it out on day one because they won't let you back in there after the first day. The kids in the teen group will not have to sign themselves in or out. My daughter has loved some of the groups and disliked others. There are so many family activities to do as a group that she preferred those at times. As to the youngest, I'm not sure what age the signing in and out takes place but I think it is younger than 9. Use the same judgment you would use at home. Same rules, same restrictions. Read the part in the cruise contract to the kids so they know that if they break a rule the entire family can be instantly put off the ship for the duration of the trip. Sometimes that is enough to keep the kids sensible. We never really needed the rules for our daughter but at least we knew we had given them, just in case. Better to be wise and safe than ignorant and sorry later.

 

Cruising is a great family vacation. Have fun!

[curly_whirly_tipz]

I remember walking around the ship with friends I had made or my cousins and brother from a young age also. Never had I or the people I was with cause any kind of distruption. but like someone else said I guess its how you are bought up and how easily your influenced by others....

[cyndiehabs]

Thanks - they are some great replies - will definitely use the rules - better for everyone on board if the kids are behaving.

 

The teen club seems to go very late - to the early hours of the morning - is it always supervised?

[akcruz]

You need to think about how responsible your kids are and what type of manners they have. If they are responsible and listen to what you say they should be fine. My daughter has always had most of the freedom she wanted as she is a very responsible kid (now almost 19!), however my son has been much more restricted since he tends to not be as responsible (14). With each cruise we set the rules and let them know what the consequences are if they are broken. Have never had to bring out the consequences with my daughter, but did once with my son. From then on he has been much better and never had to again.

 

A previous poster had put out some rules, the one I don't remember seeing there that is very important is don't ever drink out of anyone else's drink or yours if it has been out of your sight. If you do a search on here there was someone who had posted a contract they use with their kids that had a lot of other good things.

 

Bottom line, set rules and consequences, and check on them once in a while to make sure they are where they say they will be and you will fine.

 

Oh, and forgot, my kids both enjoyed the kids clubs. Of course the older they get the less often they are there. Make sure to have them go to the first night, this is where they meet up with other there age. After that first night its harder to meet people as they are sometimes already in there groups. Also, ask to meet the kids they are hanging out with. This will let you know if you need to be concerned or not. Sometimes its not your kids, but the others they are around that can cause the issues!

[bajathree]

I have 2 DD age 10 and 14. The 14 can come and go from the teen club as she wants....the 10 yr old is allowed to sign herself out on her own. Yes, the teen club goes very late....a little to late IMO. I always ask my older to be back by midnight...I wouldn't let her stay out later than that at home so no different on the ship....again IMO there is NO need for a 14yr old to be roaming the ship after midnight. My 10yr old we really don't have to worry much since she seems to never stay out without us much past about 10 anyway. I always keep pretty much in touch to know where they are at most times....last sailing we had DECT phones for them...that was great....if we don't have DECT phones then I will bite the bullet and keep in touch with cells. Remember....just because you take your kid to the club doesn't mean they need to stay there;)My kids are VERY responsible so I don't have many worries. HOWEVER on our last sailing my older brought a friend....NEVER AGAIN. This girl is the same age and as far as my daughter thought was a great kid...and she really isn't a bad kid....well you really don't know how they are going to act until they are your responsibility without there parents present. This girl thought since she didn't have her own parents with her she could go wild:rolleyes:she wanted to run off with boys...sneak out of the cabin at night...I even found her mid day in the hot tub with some guys arm wrapped around her:mad:I read her the riot act and became babysitter for the rest of the cruise. Long story short....just because your kids may be good, not all are that way and you still need to be aware of whats happening....because teen pressure can be very persuasive.

[emspilot]

FYI, RCCL recently instituted (and enforces) a curfew policy. I don't have kids on our cruise this time, so I didn't pay a lot of attention to it. But it IS there and all kids must adhear to it or the parents are liable.

[Longtimecruiser#2]

We started taking our daughter on the ships when she was about 13 and we had very strict rules regarding her freedom. Maybe some of these, your option, could be shared with your children.

 

 

At no time can you enter someone else's cabin, with or without their parents present, nor can you bring or allow someone in your cabin.

Under no time can you navigate down a passageway that does not contain your cabin. (no floor where you are not personally berthed)

Curfew given by parents must be strictly adhered to or you relinquish your right to be parentless on the remainder of the trip.

No using the seapass card as a form of credit without parental information. If it takes your seapass card to participate in the activity, it just cost you money.

No running on the ship.

Do not use the elevator like it is an amusement park ride.

Use your manners at all times so as not to create unhappiness in others.

Wash your hands often.

Do not waste food just because it is available.

Always meet the parents at meal times.

Leave notes often to keep others in your party informed.

Be where you say you are going to be.

Have fun, meet new friends, and try new things.

 

 

As to the teen club: parents, check it out on day one because they won't let you back in there after the first day. The kids in the teen group will not have to sign themselves in or out. My daughter has loved some of the groups and disliked others. There are so many family activities to do as a group that she preferred those at times. As to the youngest, I'm not sure what age the signing in and out takes place but I think it is younger than 9. Use the same judgment you would use at home. Same rules, same restrictions. Read the part in the cruise contract to the kids so they know that if they break a rule the entire family can be instantly put off the ship for the duration of the trip. Sometimes that is enough to keep the kids sensible. We never really needed the rules for our daughter but at least we knew we had given them, just in case. Better to be wise and safe than ignorant and sorry later.

 

Cruising is a great family vacation. Have fun!

My dd is now 15 and I have basically the same set of rules. I've just started this year letting her come back to the cabin by herself at the end of the evening usually around 1230am.

[jules815]

My dd is now 15 and I have basically the same set of rules. I've just started this year letting her come back to the cabin by herself at the end of the evening usually around 1230am.

 

We pretty much follow the same set of rules. If they know we need to get up early for an excursion, they're pretty good about being in bed at a decent time, plus, they're really tired at the end of the day.

 

One rule we've always had is that they never leave the ship without us. We always do our excursions, or walk around ports together.

[ehfl]

I would recommend using the kids clubs. Arrange for meeting times and places and make sure each kid has a watch (don't let them use cell phones for time keeping, or they'll likely end up sending/receiving lots of expensive text messages). You should be aware of where your kids are at all times. Don't expect the staff to supervise them....they need to be on best behavior or be supervised by someone in your party (unless they are in the kids clubs). You can probably send the older ones off on their own, but make sure you know where they are going (pool, video game room, rock climbing, etc.) and when they will be back.

[marci22]

To me, 9 is too young to sign out on their own unless they were to go directly from there to a specified meeting place.

 

I gave my teens a curfew (11pm) on the nights before a port day. It sounds early, but otherwise they would have been exhausted for the tour. I did let them stay out til curfew if the next day was a sea day.

 

As everyone said you have to remind them of the specific rules. I would set up check-in times where they were expected to contact me and at least leave a message for me on a notepad or on the phone in the room. If they neglected to do this, I made them stay by my side for an hour or so and that seemed to work wonders. They knew when dinner time was and they were always on time.

[Merion_Mom]

Even "smart kids" do "stupid things". It's the nature of the beast.

 

Hormones in adolescents in particular keep telling them that they are immortal and invulnerable. Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer here (as my son would say), but read this:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=992802

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=992639

[Jacquelyn11]

Our 2 DS's will be 15 and 16 (17 in July) when we go on the LOS in June. They both realize that our vacations are a privledge and not a rite! They have always been well behaved on other cruises. They actually got "tips" for "helping" in the elevators from folks! :) I'm going to copy those rules and post them in my DS's cabin!

 

If parents actually "parent" their teens at home, they will "parent" them on the cruise. Unfortunately, many adults with teen children choose to allow "adult" behaviors and feel their parenting chores are over! Very sad! :(

 

Hopefully my 2 will not become the "misbehaving teen beast" and we will all enjoy another wonderful, FAMILY cruise together!

 

Jacquelyn :D

[comeon530]

I think that 9 is probably too young to sign out on his/her own. Even if they are a responsible child, you don't know that all of the passengers are responsible. Would you turn your 9 year old loose in a shopping mall, or anywhere else with large crowds? I wouldn't. We let our 11 year old walk to the stateroom from the pool a couple of times on his own with very strict rules. He loved the kids camp activities, but we signed him in and out.

 

What is the new RCL curfew policy? We plan to book the Freedom in 2010.

[oakley2414]

I know this post started with how much freedom to give your kids.. But as AKCRUZ posted and I agree with much from experience. Have your kids go to the kids clubs on the first night. Even if they don't want to stay they will meet people. After that first night it seems like everyone establishes there little clicks.

[marci22]

I also bring my kids to the M&M; there are usually at least a few other kids there. They adapt more quickly if they see some familiar faces around the ship.

[betsy1616]

The curfew for teens is 1am.

[01Sweetpea]

My kids were 15, 12 & 12 when we cruised last year. There were certain rules they had to follow:

We used the post-it note system and it worked for us. They left a note stuck to our door with what time they left, where they were going and who they were with. The 12yos were not allowed to wander by themselves, they had to have 1 sibling with them, and it was usually each other. They were NOT allowed on the helipad after dark.

 

They only missed curfew once, they went to see a movie and didn't realize it was over after curfew.

 

And the normal stuff...no going into another person's cabin, no having anyone in their cabin, no going off with strangers, being respectful, etc.

[reallyitsmema]

FYI, RCCL recently instituted (and enforces) a curfew policy. I don't have kids on our cruise this time, so I didn't pay a lot of attention to it. But it IS there and all kids must adhear to it or the parents are liable.

What is the new curfew policy you are referring to? The curfew on RCI ships is 1AM and has been enforced on every cruise we have been on.

[akcruz]

Here is a link to the thread with the cruise contract in it. Lots of great ideas. Of course you need to decide what you need to stress with your kids.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?p=18200090&highlight=contract#post18200090

[NYCRUISR]

We started taking our daughter on the ships when she was about 13 and we had very strict rules regarding her freedom. Maybe some of these, your option, could be shared with your children.

 

 

At no time can you enter someone else's cabin, with or without their parents present, nor can you bring or allow someone in your cabin.

Under no time can you navigate down a passageway that does not contain your cabin. (no floor where you are not personally berthed)

Curfew given by parents must be strictly adhered to or you relinquish your right to be parentless on the remainder of the trip.

No using the seapass card as a form of credit without parental information. If it takes your seapass card to participate in the activity, it just cost you money.

No running on the ship.

Do not use the elevator like it is an amusement park ride.

Use your manners at all times so as not to create unhappiness in others.

Wash your hands often.

Do not waste food just because it is available.

Always meet the parents at meal times.

Leave notes often to keep others in your party informed.

Be where you say you are going to be.

Have fun, meet new friends, and try new things.

 

Those are great rules and we pretty much had the same in effect for our youngest son. I added a few more.

1. Stay away from the edge.

2. Stay away from the edge.

3. If you have any confusion about rule 1 and 2, Stay away from the edge.

I would tell him that I didn't want to treat him like a baby and hold his hand for 7 days, but I did not want to possibly live my life with a mystery.

He did well on cruise after cruise. His next one he'll be 21 and now I have to worry.

[peteranddan]

I think it's great that parents give their children rules to follow while onboard, but who enforces those rules if the children are not supervised?

 

Unless an unruley child is reported by another passanger (which they shouldn't have to do, it's your kid not theirs) or if the ships cameras actually catch them doing something inapropriate, do you as a parent ever know that they're misbehaving???:confused:

 

Do you think the parents of the kids in the video link below knew what their kids were up to that evening? The boys in the video look like they're what, 15 - 16? I bet they were told to be good and follow the rules before they left the cabin that night too....

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvcy2F-m5uE

[2skikids]

We set up similiar rules for our 16 y/o DD. She has been responsible for the past 4 cruises we have been on. However, we treat each cruise as our first. Review the rules and consequences and we tend to "surprise" her around the ship every once in awhile. I believe that if you follow through with your consequences, then the child will believe it will happen. We do this and she knows we will follow through.If it means no hanging out with the friends the next night, than so be it.

 

I worry more about the people she meets but so far she has meet really nice kids and has even been in contact with a few a year later.

 

This does not mean that things will not happen= just hope she makes the right choice and continues an open dialogue with us.