Seriously... formal wear?

[mgcarnut]

I think I have a hypothesis as to why formal dress is such a contentious topic here. Much as some of us hate to admit, formal dress has become an obsolete (and in some cases unknown) concept among many generations, starting with the Baby Boomers. I am 55, and grew up in New York. As a child, our family would always dress up for holiday gatherings and special occasions, when going to church, out to eat at nice restaurants, and especially when flying on airplanes. Even as kids my sister and I had a selection of "formal" clothes. But as time went on, we moved to California, went through the hippie generation, and my uniform of choice for my college days and beyond was Levis and a white T-shirt. Even after getting a job in aerospace, the normal attire at work is business casual (slacks and polo shirts, dress shirts and ties only for customer meetings).

 

So what happened? Baby boomers got out of the habit of dressing up, they have kids who never go through the experience of dressing up, then those kids have kids, etc. Restaurants on the West Coast are nearly all casual dress, churchgoing is casual (do the women still need to wear hats at Mass anymore?), and the airlines are glorified bus lines. I am not putting a value judgement on things here, just pointing out that the cruise lines are enforcing a concept that is somewhat alien to a large group of today's travelers. I must admit that I am "out of practice" for formal dress, and in the past when I have looked into cruising, the one thing that worried me was having to dress up. Just imagine how those generations younger than me must feel, being even more removed from the concept!

 

But after spending time here on Cruise Critic and reading lots of posts on the subject, I have grown more comfortable with the idea. I know that when my wife and I go on our first cruise in January (14-night Panama Canal transit), I am looking forward to dressing up on formal nights, because I think it will capture some of the magic I knew as a child. My wife may have a little more trouble here, since she was brought up on the casual West Coast so is not as used to the concept as I am. But she has found a dynamite purple formal dress, and is looking for more.

 

So I will have fun on those formal nights, resplendant in my rented Tux, with my wife by my side. And I know my Mom and Dad (at 89 and 92 years old) will love to receive a picture of us all dressed up!

 

Cheers,

mgcarnut

[mizona]

I think you hit the nail on the head. I grew up wearing my "Sunday best". And what a treat at Easter to get those shiny paten leather shoes and bonnet. I'm also 55 now and feel dressed up wearing nice slacks and a sweater set. I was unsure about the formal night at first. But now DH and I are warming to the idea. I love the fact that you refer to your wife dress as "dynamite". Bet that made her smile too.

[GlendaleCruiser]

 

I am looking forward to dressing up on formal nights, because I think it will capture some of the magic I knew as a child.

That is exactly what it is

 

But she has found a dynamite purple formal dress, and is looking for more.

We want to see a picture of the dynamite purple dress in the Fashion section.

woo-hoo

 

 

PS: My countdown clock says 101 days now, but we are actually in double digits as we are leaving for Rome 3 days prior to boarding the ship.

[tropicgal2]

My husband, son, and I were hoping to only take carry-on luggage on the airplane, but having to pack for formal nights means we will have to take extra luggage. Just makes the vacation a little extra work!

[satxdiver]

I agree mgcarnut. As a card carrying baby boomer raised in the midwest, I never wore formal clothes. Holidays even Christmas called for normal clothes which for the youth of my generation was blue jeans, white tshirt and Converse shoes. At church I had to "dress up" and wear a button shirt and leather shoes but still wear the blue jeans. When my father got dressed up, he wore a suit or sport jacket and of course the fedora. I remember the flap when John Kenedy did not wear a hat at his inaugral. We baby boomers rejected the fedora but did adopt the baseball cap. For me getting all dressed up and looking like a stuffed penguin never appealed. Hence I never dress up as defined by the cruiseline suggested code, always eat dinner in the MDR traditional seating and have never had anyone say anything to me much less deny me entry.

 

Despite what others on CC would have you believe, formal dress is on the decline. Carnival has abolished it and from what I have read on CC, NCL does not have it. Thanks to my work, I have traveled over 3 million miles on the airlines mostly domestic and even in first class suits are on the decline. A lot of men wear casual clothes including in first class and change into their office attire at the destination.

[PhoneGoddess]

No, the specialty restaurants will also be formal on formal night.

 

This is no longer the case on Princess. They changed it recently and now the specialty restaurants are Smart Casual every night.

[ldubs]

I don't mind suiting up, and I do. At the same time I could care less if someone is dressed informally.

[cruisinsmoothly]

I'm new to this website but find it shocking how you guys talk to each other! It seems like the "upety" folks are pitted against the "Too casual" ones. Aren't there any of you in-between? I haven't cruised in 20 years and I was only 24 then. We were just trying to get away for a while and never noticed how others were dressed. It seems to me like you are going to scare away anyone who is new to cruising. Would you guys talk to someone, in person, the way you are in your posts?

 

We are just not as vocal as the more polar posters. I only wore a tux at my wedding (and I don't plan on a second one of those). I will wear a suit for formal nights because I do not mind dressing up. for casual nights, I wear a collared shirt and a pair of pants. For me jeans are useful when working in the yard, but not as comfortable as a pair of doubleknit pants. I prefer shorts unless it is really cold (

[xxshelliebelliexx]

i got my dress at target for $25. although, i am a teen so im wearing a flowy maxi dress. while my mom is wearing a grey and brown simple dress.

but when i was at target, i saw SOO many dresses there that were reasonably priced. many of them were casual but also looked formal at the same time.

 

(also, i almost bought a dress from forever 21 , a very casual little black dress, they also had it in a nice brown color, and even a navy blue color) i saw some inexpensive "pearls" from there as well.

 

in my honest opinion, i dont think the tank dress is a good choice, but hey, my mom and i both found dresses at target, and great jewlwery at forever 21. i HOPE you like my opinion:)

[Kikkycat]

My formal was a silky cocktail dress. I got it for $15 at TJ Maxx!

[ilovetinks]

I think the dresses are perfect. The whole idea is to go and enjoy yourself so do just that!!

[momofmeg]

Not sure where this poster gets off but a cocktail dress is plenty appropriate on Princess and in their dining rooms on formal nights. You'll be dressed better than 50% of the folks that think they are dressing "formal".

 

Have fun and don't worry about it.

 

That is not a cocktail dress. It is a polyester black tank dress that reverses to a print. Perhaps with a sparkly jacket it could be made to look cocktail, but not as it is. It is NOT my definition of a LBD-too plain. It is more my definition of a swimsuit cover-up. I do not think even pearls would dress that up-it would take at least a dressy jacket/shrug/bolero.

 

Princess is a little dresser than RCI-if the dress is not appropriate for RCI it will not be appropriate for Princess.

[momofmeg]

Yes, he only owns jeans and wouldn't wear a tie for any reason. We have celebrated a lot events in jeans and that works for us. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men like him in the world. I don't own a black cocktail dress and would never use it outside the cruise. Unfortunately its too late to cancel, would have to pay for it anyway. Your post didn't make me feel any better. We are booked on the Holland to Alaska. We really want to sail and visit Alaska but I am even more worried now that we are not going to fit in with a cruise crowd. We are just not "uppity" formal wear people.

 

Eat at the specialty restaurant on formal night-no formal wear required there. (except Disney-Palo's)However, he shouldn't wear jeans there. Except NCL-they allow jeans in their specialty restaurants and they also have one no pay extra full service dining room that is not formal and jeans are allowed there every night.

 

If your hubby really hates dressing- and you do not want to do the specialty restaurant twice, you could also do room service and the lido restaurant. Princess offers a great room service lobster dinner for $50 for a couple. Other room service meals are no extra cost-just the lobster.

[momofmeg]

Naturetchr: you will probably find that you are in fact very comfortable on a cruise. We wondered if we would like it - we're also not "formal" type people - We love it! (My husband lives in jeans too) Guaranteed that you will see a huge variety of dress onboard - after all you have people from all over the world. It's YOUR vacation - the rule to remember is ENJOY. I think that cruising may have once been a "formal" occasion - no longer. I've met people onboard who hate dressing up - so they don't. Also met couple who said they NEVER dressed up and said that's why they so enjoyed it. Everybody is different.

 

A cruise IS NOT a stuffy vacation. Do what most makes you happy. I've also heard that Alaska trip is very casual clothes. BTW, we usually plan to eat in the alternative restaurant on formal night just because we like to and we don't even care about formal night.

 

You do not need a black cocktail dress - and it is not necessary to stress over the cruise clothes. People who are crazy about dressing up love the excuse to get all gussied up - those who don't care about it are fine too. If you want any more specifics about clothes, let me know and I'll be glad to let you know (by your anniversary (Congratulations!) I'm guessing we are about same age)

 

That is not exactly true-many people ignore the suggested wear-but most cruise lines (except NCL) do REQUEST you dress a certain way.

 

Do they kick people off ship for not dressing-no-but some dining room managers do insist that people do some semblance of the suggested wear and do turn people away if they are too improperly dressed-you have simply lucked out so far-but it could still happen that you are refused entry. Respect for your fellow cruisers who do as requested and dress up, should keep you from expecting to be seated.

[momofmeg]

That's really not a nice thing to say. Especially to those that are new to cruising and anxious about what their experience will be like. :mad:

 

naturetchr, I would just suggest you check their dress code policy. On non-formal nights, HAL doesn't outright say no denim or jeans. Their policy says for men to wear slacks. So be comfortable with what you interpret that to be. If all your husband wears is jeans see if you can put some dark jeans together with a nice dress shirt and loafers. You will find that he will look much better than many other folks. On formal nights, see if you can get him to wear a tie, throw on a blazer, and maybe some dark pants. No need to wear a full suit or tux.

 

If others frown at what you're wearing, who cares! You're there to have a good time. Times are changing!

 

I wish you a wonderful anniversary! DW and I just celebrated our 10th and did a Mediterranean cruise and hope we can last as long as you have!

 

I did not take that insulting. It is true Canrvial and NCL is more relaxed on their dress codes. My last cruise was on NCL and I enjoyed it very much. I met many people who cruise NCL because they like the freestyle concept of dressing (or not dressing) for dinner. BTW, we did not participate in the second formal night-which on NCL is no problem as that is only 1 dining room that is formal-easy to go elsewhere.

 

On Carnival on elegant night her hubby could get away with a collared dress shirt, a pair of dress slacks. That is no big deal-I just bought my husband a pair of dress slacks and a dress shirt at Kohls and I spent less than $40, and that would not be a waste of money for them- if a family member died, her husband would need something more than jeans for a funeral.

 

I think, since she is on HAL, she should simply do room service or the lido and then hang out on the lido deck formal nights-it even has a bar-so they can still enjoy themselves very much.

[momofmeg]

HAL's policy SPECIFICALLY states NO JEAN's in the dining room ANYTIME. 6rugrats just posted the ENTIRE HAL policy in the post before yours.

 

"Jeans, t-shirts, hats, shorts, tank tops, swimwear and workout attire are not permitted in the dining room or Pinnacle Grill at any time, but are allowed in the Lido restaurant."

That was changed about 2 years ago-even Celebrity allows jeans now on casual nights.

[momofmeg]

Do you think I just made this up?

 

I wanted to give this poster the most accurate information about an Alaska cruise and the dress code for this region.

 

Go to FAQ

 

Choose, Baggage, Packing and Dress Code

 

Then pick Packing for Alaska

 

Scroll down to the heading, Dinner Dress

 

Jeans are not allowed in the dining room or Pinnacle Grill on any itinerary on any HAL ship.

 

For those who manage to find this webpage but seem incapable of doing any other research themselves, here is the link:

http://www.hollandamerica.com/cruise-vacation-planning/PlanningAndAdvice.action?tabName=Cruise+Preparation&contentMenu=Baggage,+Packing+%26+Dress+Code&contentSubMenu=Packing+for+Alaska

 

No , they used to SPECIFY no jeans, along with no teak tops and shorts. It no longer says no jeans.

[ma23peas]

Really your husband only owns jeans?? :eek: ".

 

This is what is my predicament as well! I think Microsoft was the downfall of corporate wear...when dh worked in Redmond, he went to work with nice khaki's and dry cleaned shirts...his coworkers sashayed in around 3pm, had ponytails down their back, flip flops on their feet, shorts and shirts hanging out....my husband hasn't dropped that much, but his standard wear is a pair of blue jeans, belt and golf knit shirt...he has one suit from the first year we married (17 years ago) that he had to get for a job interview..wore it twice..doubt it fits!

 

We will most likely NEVER go on another cruise and really need clothes that we can wear again, I actually have an old dress my mother wore to some gala 15 years ago, could care less how it looks on me...it's free...but could dh get away with khaki's, pressed button down white shirt and tie? Does he need a jacket? I guess I could try and find a second hand jacket...

 

Tara

[satxdiver]

This is what is my predicament as well! I think Microsoft was the downfall of corporate wear...<snip>...but could dh get away with khaki's, pressed button down white shirt and tie? Does he need a jacket? I guess I could try and find a second hand jacket...

 

Tara

 

On formal night men are required to wear a pair of pants, long sleeved dress shirt and shoes. Coats, ties and even socks are not required. On all my cruises I have always gone to the MDR for all dinners including formal night. On formal nights I wear a pair of pants (docker type but usually dark), long sleeved dress shirt and leather sandals. Sometimes I take my blue blazer along and hang on the back of my chair. I will not wear a tie.

 

As for Microsoft, you will find that programmers and computer design professionals are an informal breed, highly intelligent and very independent. Shorts, tshirts and shower shoes (aka flip flops) are the traditional dress. In some areas such as Colorado, the shower shoes are replaced by socks and hiking boots (it is colder there). Long hair in pony tails and beards are standard. I worked for a large well known international computer company based on the west coast and this is how they dressed in the different development areas.

 

Since I am folicle challenged, long hair is out, I don't like facial hair (tried it several times) and I never liked shower shoes since the first time I tried them back in the 60's as a young boy. I am most comfortable in tshirt, shorts and tevas and that is how you will find me on Caribbean cruises as well as at home. I also do not own a suit.

[momofmeg]

This is what is my predicament as well! I think Microsoft was the downfall of corporate wear...when dh worked in Redmond, he went to work with nice khaki's and dry cleaned shirts...his coworkers sashayed in around 3pm, had ponytails down their back, flip flops on their feet, shorts and shirts hanging out....my husband hasn't dropped that much, but his standard wear is a pair of blue jeans, belt and golf knit shirt...he has one suit from the first year we married (17 years ago) that he had to get for a job interview..wore it twice..doubt it fits!

 

We will most likely NEVER go on another cruise and really need clothes that we can wear again, I actually have an old dress my mother wore to some gala 15 years ago, could care less how it looks on me...it's free...but could dh get away with khaki's, pressed button down white shirt and tie? Does he need a jacket? I guess I could try and find a second hand jacket...

 

Tara

 

It depends on the line. Celebrity, HAL, and Princess he will feel under dressed. Carnival "elegant night" he will be fine, on NCL formal night is optional, and all but one dinning room is not formal.

 

On RCI and Disney, you see many who do not dress to formal code. He will look beter than those in jeans on formal night.

[gwynnetx]

Ok I'm a first time cruiser. I am going to Alaska on the Princess Golden in May 2010. I don't want to upset anyone on the formal nights so I hope there are other places for me to eat, are there? I understand that I can order room service. I will be in a suite (VS), is the room service menu for full meals (can I get a steak) or just snacks? The two-specialty restaurant - Sabatini's and Crown Grill, are they formal on formal nights or can I eat there "dress casual"?

 

my dh and i are not big formal night fans, either. that said, we are actually bringing some "formal" wear with us on this next cruise (on HAL). but on our previous cruises, we just ate in the buffet on formal night. i don't want to lug around a cocktail dress or "prom" dress on vacation, thank you very much. you could also do room service, if you wanted. but just realize that you aren't condemned to stay in your room on formal nights. *in a whisper* and my dh wore jeans on smart casual nights! :eek:

[nurserosie]

Sloppy standards on your ship.

 

It is also MY cruise. I am paying for a certain level of ambiance by booking a HAL cruise. I choose to dine in a formal, upscale atmosphere even on casual nights. If I wanted a Chili's, Appleby's or TGIF experience, I can stay home and save a lot of money.

 

 

:mad::mad:that is about the most outrageous statement I have read so far..

 

why will YOUR dinner be ruined etc if someone wears clothes you do not feel are formal and upscale enuf??

 

in high school we called folks like you snobs

 

perhaps you should stay home

[mafig]

I just printed my HAL express docs, and it states:

 

"On festive Formal evenings, ladies usually wear a suit, cocktail dress, or gown and gentlemen wear a jacket and tie, dark suit or tuxedo."

 

Maybe it's less formal than other lines - which is fine for me!

 

I've sailed on Holland and regardless of what their docs say, it's pretty formal (at least it was on the ships we were on). Lots of men in tux's.

 

The buffet is a good option on formal night and I believe you can order a full dinner from room service also.

[siegswife]

My two cents for what it's worth. I would find it much more enjoyable to eat dinner seated next to a couple wearing what they are comfortable in and having a great time than two people who are miserable. I think a light-hearted attitude is a fashion trend that never goes out of style!

[Harry and Lucille]

Don't worry. Just go by the cruise line recommendations regarding the dress code. They have relaxed the rules quite a bit over the years. On formal nights, I still wear my tux. All black or white jacket. Love the James Bond feeling when walking into the casino. lol. All us really old guys still wear the tux.:cool: