Singles?? How do they really meet up?

[jollyjones]

Since when is taking care of your personal safety a character flaw??? As a reasonably experienced solo traveler I personally think that Kruisey did the right thing. I know what she means - I've had the question asked of me in a way that made me uncomfortable and I've also had the question asked in ways that made me feel empowered. I'm not 12 - I can tell the difference between a friendly conversation and being scoped out.

 

Kruisey is now my hero - because I was too cowardly to say anything (well I was in then) I chose to just avoid the waiter who made me feel uncomfortable. Of course now that I'm in my 50's .... it's getting kind of hard for me NOT to say something :)

 

Look, traveling on my own - I know that no one knows when I come and go, no one will worry if I don't show up and no one will protecting me. I'm the only protection I have and I have to be serious about it. 90% of the time on cruises I feel safe and comfortable - that's why I prefer to cruise. But nothing is perfect and a person has to be sensible.

 

I'm with Corinda on this one except that I'd say that I feel safe 99.9% of the time on a cruise. I cruise solo a lot, by my choice, and I think it's a great way to travel as a single woman, but being aware of potential trouble, and nipping it in the bud, is just common sense. With experience, one learns when a comment - maybe on a cruise ship, a plane, at a hotel, in a restaurant - makes one's antennae twitch and it's time to back away. Most people on this planet are wonderful, but not all.

[Carnival AZIPOD]

I'm with Corinda on this one except that I'd say that I feel safe 99.9% of the time on a cruise. I cruise solo a lot, by my choice, and I think it's a great way to travel as a single woman, but being aware of potential trouble, and nipping it in the bud, is just common sense. With experience, one learns when a comment - maybe on a cruise ship, a plane, at a hotel, in a restaurant - makes one's antennae twitch and it's time to back away. Most people on this planet are wonderful, but not all.

 

It appears that she made the threat against the waiters because she felt insulted, not because she was fearful for her safety. But who am I to say how Kruisey felt at that moment?

 

Regardless, it is important that one exercises professionalism when they encounter these situations. By threatening the waiters of having them "reported" is just plain rude. She could have simply told the individuals herself that their questions made her feel uncomfortable and they would have simply left her alone.

 

FYI, you'll never win if you try to flatter yourself!

[Pam in CA]

I've cruised as a single in a cabin for years and although I've had family and/or friends on the same cruise, we're not "joined at the hip" and do our own thing on a cruise. I join the roll call and meet people that way, go on excursions and meet people there, and avoid the singles meets like the plague. I've been to a few and they've been (IMHO) a complete waste of my time and effort: there were either slobbery old men or people on the make, looking to hook up on the cruise. They were really icky. Four years ago, I met someone who's become one of my best friends and traveling companion through our roll call. I've met some great people that way, married and single.

[rdsqrl]

I've cruised as a single in a cabin for years and although I've had family and/or friends on the same cruise, we're not "joined at the hip" and do our own thing on a cruise. I join the roll call and meet people that way, go on excursions and meet people there, and avoid the singles meets like the plague. I've been to a few and they've been (IMHO) a complete waste of my time and effort: there were either slobbery old men or people on the make, looking to hook up on the cruise. They were really icky. Four years ago, I met someone who's become one of my best friends and traveling companion through our roll call. I've met some great people that way, married and single.

Too funny.

I have nothing against hook-ups per se (what can I say, I'm a child of the 70s and we're all consenting adults), but in my opinion, attending a gathering whose membership is defined solely by one's relationship status is weird and does come with the assumption that either one is there to acquire a partner for hiking the Appalachian Trail or else to acquire a ring on the left hand. It also assumes that singleness is some common-denominator interest that automatically bonds you to everyone else who checks off on their tax return, which is so not the case. I've never had a problem meeting people onboard without the single mingle thing -- and I'm the world's biggest introvert, so it obviously can't be that difficult!

[Pam in CA]

I have nothing against hook-ups per se (what can I say, I'm a child of the 70s and we're all consenting adults)...

Neither am I, but the people I've seen were treating the meeting like a hook-up bar, ready to jump into bed within minutes, particularly with the Princess hostess trying to be a lady and getting people to meet and talk to each other while a few "lucky" ones were making out 5 minutes after meeting. It was pretty weird.

[rdsqrl]

Neither am I, but the people I've seen were treating the meeting like a hook-up bar, ready to jump into bed within minutes, particularly with the Princess hostess trying to be a lady and getting people to meet and talk to each other while a few "lucky" ones were making out 5 minutes after meeting. It was pretty weird.

Eww. Apparently they took the whole "Love Boat" thing a little too seriously. . . even on the television show, the kissing didn't come until Act Two!

[Pam in CA]

Eww. Apparently they took the whole "Love Boat" thing a little too seriously. . . even on the television show, the kissing didn't come until Act Two!

AND, they were usually in a cabin and not in a group meeting.

[Go-Bucks!]

in my opinion, attending a gathering whose membership is defined solely by one's relationship status is weird. It also assumes that singleness is some common-denominator interest that automatically bonds you to everyone else who checks off on their tax return

 

Well, it certainly wouldn't be the only one. There are special group meetings on ships for alcoholics, older women, and homosexuals too. I don't think it's weird for people with similarities to want to meet, but it's definitely not of interest to everyone.

[kruisey]

It appears that she made the threat against the waiters because she felt insulted, not because she was fearful for her safety. But who am I to say how Kruisey felt at that moment?

 

Regardless, it is important that one exercises professionalism when they encounter these situations. By threatening the waiters of having them "reported" is just plain rude. She could have simply told the individuals herself that their questions made her feel uncomfortable and they would have simply left her alone.

 

FYI, you'll never win if you try to flatter yourself!

Whats your problem?My remarks were made to a female employee regarding that one male.He was coming on strong.

Why do some males thing that all females who travel single are on the make?

Just dying for male companionship in every way ?

He was the rude person interrupting my lunch with his pointed questions.

 

I don't pay for my cruise for a pick up but to see the world through ports of call.To be spoilt with wonderful meals I don't have to cook myself.The companionship of like minded persons other travellers.Also the wonderful employees that always treat me with respect.......exception the odd male jerk

like the one I encountered in the Horizon Court.

P.S.I am a widow but amongst my best friends two are males.

 

THank you ladies for your kind backups:)

[kooljamming]

I traveled as a single person and now as a part of a family. Seeking out singles is less likely for someone to feel like a 5th wheel. I travel with DH but outside of excursions and meals we have different ideas for a fun vacation. I seek out people who share my interest on roll call. I would choose a single vacation in a heart beat. Sitting around doing nothing or enjoying the sun is NOT on my radar for a great vacation but tops DH list.

 

Now I am seeking. I am "pigmentedly gifted" Caribbean female traveling with hubby (who looks like a pastor) and kids (cute and sweet). I (a soul needs saving) am seeking the company of others who like to dance til the wee hours of the morning, enjoy afternoon tea, like to shop and think vacation is about discovery not rest. Our vacation is not about trying find each other, we were never lost. As a couple we enjoy doing different things with our down time. After the trip I promise I won't offer to share the 600+ pics I took of everything that moved, shifted or crawled.

[Corinda]

I'm with Corinda on this one except that I'd say that I feel safe 99.9% of the time on a cruise. I cruise solo a lot, by my choice, and I think it's a great way to travel as a single woman, but being aware of potential trouble, and nipping it in the bud, is just common sense. With experience, one learns when a comment - maybe on a cruise ship, a plane, at a hotel, in a restaurant - makes one's antennae twitch and it's time to back away. Most people on this planet are wonderful, but not all.

 

 

Hey Jolly Jones....I feel safe nearly all the time too but I'm an accountant and conservative estimates comes with the territory ;)

The only time I estimate anything over 95% is when I'm 110% certain :D

 

As for the meetups - yeah some people are there to do more "Meeting" than "Greeting" but they are pretty obvious. My suggestion - just go and have fun - the champagne is cold, the people can be interesting and if not - you'll have a story about how comparatively normal you are for when you get home

 

Corinda 93 days until I'm on the Sapphire

[bjbear]

Better safe than sorry

 

Agreed, you made your point!:rolleyes: And I agree with rdsgrl that every male in the world is not hitting on you, lighten up. I just got back from an Alaskan cruise alone and I had several conversations with staff, other guests, etc. about the fact that I was traveling alone. I certainly didn't take offense, if anything they looked after me a lot better than if I had a companion with me. Having traveled abroad, I also know that it is not the norm for a woman to travel alone and usually the male is curious, kind, and trying to help. IMHO, maybe you need to look at the glass as half-full. :)

 

Sue

[mringenoldus]

Corinda

 

I agree that free champagne and an affirmation that my friend is a is a single, but pretty darn normal, middle age lady might be worth the time at the singles party. Thanks!!