I don't get your post at all. First you say how your tip is based, at least in part, on the server's personal life based on information obtained by your ongoing interrogation thoughout the trip. Then you say tips should be based on service, and quality, of that service.
I haven't a clue how someone's personal life is any guests' business or how it weighs into the gratuity factor. I guess their personal life has to meet with your approval. This just strikes me as bazaar.