Son's medical prob and dining room on Ryndam

[mtnmommy]

I need advice from CC friends. We board the Ryndam Sunday, and my 11-year-old son has an illness that was diagnosed since the last time we cruised. Should he and I meet the Maitre 'D after we board to explain, pull the waiters aside the first night, or just keep quiet? We have early fixed seating, and I want to make sure I do the right thing for the staff and for Alex.

 

Alex has disintegration of tissue in the esophagus. Food catches --and can become impacted--in his throat. He's finally stable and medically cleared for the trip (with a lot of meds!)

 

Two concerns. If food gets caught, staff must know not to give him the Heimleich. It's a natural reaction because the kid looks like he's choking to death, but it will harm him. We'll take over.

 

More likely concern is that Alex has to eat very slowly. We mince his food, and he would prefer waiters and fellow travelers know why instead of thinking he still eats like a toddler! We'll only eat two courses because he needs to take his time. But I know this can make service problematic for our waiters, especially since my younger kid can't wait forever for her food.

 

So, we're a pain for the waiters, and I plan to compensate extra. But who should I talk to--or should I even bring it up? We could eat the Lido, but the MDR is a important tradition to Alex, and we're trying to keep things as normal as possible.

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks,

 

Lisa

[Nancyquilts]

I'm so proud of you all for going on the cruise and dealing with your problems. I would think it would be important to put the maitre d' in the loop, as you will be having breakfast and lunch with different waiters. I would also tell the dinner waiters everything they need to know. You will probably also have a head waiter who can help. The more staff who are aware of the problem, the quieter and more easily everything can be managed.

[Essiesmom]

I would think that you could explain to the waiters that he will be eating slowly but to serve the others at a regular pace. I suspect there will be a lot of things you son can eat easily...and enjoy...But I am sure you know this, as you have cruised before. EM

[Jemima]

Will he be going to Club HAL? If so, you'll want to talk to them.

As for dining, talking to the maitre 'd should be sufficient. You will be eating with your son and should be able to stop a heimleich.

You don't need to explain this to tablemates. If you do explain, simply say he has a medical issue. Are you sure your son wants you explaining this to people? Many kids wouldn't.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Great for you that you all will still continue to cruise knowing that life does put some humps in the road for all of us to deal with.

 

On the last number of cruises / ships -- we haven't even seen the dining room manager -- and we have fixed dining -- so no need to talk to him.

 

If I were you I would reguest a table for 4 -- and mention only to your waitstaff about your son's condition.

 

Do agree that if your son is going to go to Club HAL -- they should be informed as well as there are times when they have pizza parties.

[kazu]

Cudos to you for dealing with this as well as you have. since you have fixed dining, I would definitely talk to the maitre d' (or dining room manager) - there is probably a way you can advise your regular dining room servers / the maitre d' can without your son having to be aware.

 

That way, you don't have to explain in front of your son. Have a wonderful cruise - you certainly deserve it :):)

[cruisinggranmama]

Handling health issues with children is always a challenge. Your son must deal with this at school on his own so probably has some coping mechanisms in place. IMO, talking with the wait staff before each meal is a good idea so that they know to continue service to the table while your son eats at his own pace. If your table-mates ask or if you get to know them and feel comfortable sharing, your son is old enough to help make the decision to tell them or not.

 

I don't think taking a table just for your family is the best answer unless you feel your son would be most comfortable in that situation. He has cruised, what does he want to do?

 

I have to granddaughters with peanut/nut allergies and eating out is a challenge every time even in familiar restaurants because of lack of control of the situation. We sometimes feel like we are cross-examining the waiters to make sure they know about the dietary demands of this condition. But we never feel like we are an encumbrance - the girls' feelings come first and we try to make their lives as normal as possible away from home and making sure waiters know about it is part of feeling comfortable.

 

All said, I think you are going into the situation well prepared to deal with expectations. There will no doubt be occurrences you never thought about, but you will deal with them.

 

Have a great cruise.:)

[peaches from georgia]

What are your plans for table size? Family table for 4 or tablemates at a larger table? Not knowing the procedure needed on your part if he has a choking problem or how often that might happen I don't have an opinion on that. I'm sure if there was a chance of making your tablemates, if any, uncomfortable if there was a problem you would select a family table.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Something else I thought of -- I didn't check out the Club HAL on the Ryndam, but I did see it on the Nieuw Amsterdam.. There was a hot dog stand there where once in the cruise they have hot dogs.

 

Not sure how you will handle this situation in Club HAL as you can't be there when they have a party.

[sail7seas]

I would definitely speak with the Maitre d' so he can have a word with the stewards. No reason you shouldn't select whatever table size suits you IMO. You sound like an upbeat family dealing with health issue while enjoying your lives. The stewards will have no problem adjusting their service to your pace.

 

As suggested, it would be wise to speak with Club HAL staff in the event any food is served while he is there IF he plans to attend any Club HAL activities.

 

Hope you all have a great cruise. Make some wonderful memories. :)

 

[mtnmommy]

Thank you so much for your advice! I needed reassurance. Having a word with the Maitre d' is a good idea, and Club HAL had completely slipped my mind, so thank you for that reminder!

 

Alex wants to be a doctor, manages his condition well, and has no social problems with it. He's an old 11 and very extroverted. We'll speak to Club Hal and the Maitre 'd together. He definitely won't eat anything hazardous. Our concern is that he will stop eating if he thinks he is slowing everyone down. We eat room service breakfast and Lido lunch, so he can eat as long as he wants.

 

We're a group of five, and usually have a family table. I'm sure if the waiters know we can be served at different times at dinner, that will make him feel at ease. And, you all made me realize, this is a good time for him to learn to say, "Oh, I'm a bit slow, but do please go on with your meal." This is a lifelong condition.

 

So, thanks to your input, I've got a plan, and you've settled down my Mom Jitters (those never go away, do they?)

[danilynn17]

mtnmommy- I think the early fixed seating will work out well for you. With the fixed seating, there will really only be the need to explain things on the first night. The staff should easily be able to accommodate you. As you said, this is also a great way for him to learn to what to say and to handle his health problem with grace and dignity that will serve him well as he grows up.

 

Also glad to hear that there's at least one other kid on board this cruise. We're boarding the Ryndam on Sunday, too (can't stand the wait! Will Sunday ever get here?). We have early fixed dining as well, and will have our 1 year old daughter with us.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Thank you so much for your advice! I needed reassurance. Having a word with the Maitre d' is a good idea, and Club HAL had completely slipped my mind, so thank you for that reminder!

 

Alex wants to be a doctor, manages his condition well, and has no social problems with it. He's an old 11 and very extroverted. We'll speak to Club Hal and the Maitre 'd together. He definitely won't eat anything hazardous. Our concern is that he will stop eating if he thinks he is slowing everyone down. We eat room service breakfast and Lido lunch, so he can eat as long as he wants.

 

We're a group of five, and usually have a family table. I'm sure if the waiters know we can be served at different times at dinner, that will make him feel at ease. And, you all made me realize, this is a good time for him to learn to say, "Oh, I'm a bit slow, but do please go on with your meal." This is a lifelong condition.

 

So, thanks to your input, I've got a plan, and you've settled down my Mom Jitters (those never go away, do they?)

 

As I mentioned -- never once on our last several cruises have we met or seen the dining room manager.

Besides talking to your wait staff -- also talk to your area captain who oversees the wait staff in your area.

We sailed on the Ryndam in October and I could not tell you who the dining room manager was.

[sail7seas]

mtnmommy...... If at any time you wish to meet with the Dining Room Manager, it couldn't be easier. Ask to see him. Ask one of the Assistants standing in the doorway as you enter the dining room (Assistant Dining Room Managers) or ask one of the section heads you will see in all areas of the Dining Room.

 

Actually, it is highly likely some nights as you enter, you will see the formerly named Maitre d' in the doorway greeting guests as they enter. I can't remember a cruise out of a great many on HAL when we have not had multiple opportunities to chat with the most gracious Maitre d'. They are all extremely able and affable.

 

[kyriecat]

Normally I am a fan of fixed seating, but I was thinking that open seating rather than fixed might be a better option for Mntmommy's family. During early fixed seating, the waiters are on a schedule so they have time to get the tables ready for the later seating. The waiter may try to rush through the courses.

 

For open seating, can't you request the same waiters and table for the duration of the cruise? If so, there won't be another seating waiting for the table so the family can relax and eat at their own pace.

[sassy~one]

Lisa, Bless you sweetie for giving Alex a cruise vacation. I do agree with all of the above. Club Hal is a must! Wait staff also. Tablemates IF you and your son agree.

Is there a way to leave a private message? I would love to give you my room number, or phone number, as im traveling with 2 medical people.;)

 

Can't wait to meet the whole family.

 

debbie

[sassy~one]

mtnmommy- I think the early fixed seating will work out well for you. With the fixed seating, there will really only be the need to explain things on the first night. The staff should easily be able to accommodate you. As you said, this is also a great way for him to learn to what to say and to handle his health problem with grace and dignity that will serve him well as he grows up.

 

Also glad to hear that there's at least one other kid on board this cruise. We're boarding the Ryndam on Sunday, too (can't stand the wait! Will Sunday ever get here?). We have early fixed dining as well, and will have our 1 year old daughter with us.

 

ARE WE there yet?

[IRL_Joanie]

Thank you so much for your advice! I needed reassurance. Having a word with the Maitre d' is a good idea, and Club HAL had completely slipped my mind, so thank you for that reminder!

 

Alex wants to be a doctor, manages his condition well, and has no social problems with it. He's an old 11 and very extroverted. We'll speak to Club Hal and the Maitre 'd together. He definitely won't eat anything hazardous. Our concern is that he will stop eating if he thinks he is slowing everyone down. We eat room service breakfast and Lido lunch, so he can eat as long as he wants.

 

We're a group of five, and usually have a family table. I'm sure if the waiters know we can be served at different times at dinner, that will make him feel at ease. And, you all made me realize, this is a good time for him to learn to say, "Oh, I'm a bit slow, but do please go on with your meal." This is a lifelong condition.

 

So, thanks to your input, I've got a plan, and you've settled down my Mom Jitters (those never go away, do they?)

One thing that I've not seen mentioned by any of our other great CC members is the Lido and Tamarind (if there is one, did not look to see if the ship has one.)

 

Wherever you plan to eat, if only one meal, make sure you take the Manager of the dining area and let them know ahead of time so that they will let their staff know also.

 

Remember these are awesome crew/staff who not only remember our names, but also our faces. So good to let them know so they will not over react to your son IF he has any problems.

 

Joanie

[mtnmommy]

Thank you all so much for the suggestions. Danilynn, I'll look for an adorable one-year-old at early seating! Sassy One, I don't know how to leave a private message (I'm not too tech saavy), but I'd like to exchange info! Nice to chat with people, since our roll call was kind of dead.

 

Alex really enjoys the dining room at dinner. He's bummed we're taking his suit, and not his tux, this trip, but those tux collars constrict too much.

 

Should I ask to see the dining room manager the first night as we enter the dining room? Sometimes I have seen in the program that the Maitre 'd is available when you board? (to sort out seating complaints, I assume.)

 

Thank you again. His first impaction occurred in the dining room of the Queen Mary. We didn't know what caused it--or what miraculously resolved it--at the time, and thank goodness we didn't, or we would have been really scared. Of course, he is much better now and can travel, but the first time out is a bit tough.

[newbie3]

We travelled on Volendam last month with our 14 year old son with very similar problems. It all went remarkably well. We had breakfast and lunch in the lido where we could sit by ourselves and control the situation easily.

We had any time dining and the first night we said nothing and our son did not eat much but wait staff were great. My husband had a quiet word with the dining room manager during the day next day, when noone else was around, and he gave us that table at the same time every night with the same staff. Our son ordered from a combination of the kids menu and normal menu (more desserts from this) and his food timing was different to ours. It all worked really well and we didn't have to worry or explain each night which we would have if changing waiters.

He attended the teenage club a number of times. We did not say anything to them (there was not really a chance to anyway and our doctor had suggested that if we tell them there may be issues they would treat him differently and look for issues). He did not eat there anyway and we took walkie talkies so if he was off at the club by himself he could check in and also tell us if he was unwell in any way. We put a sticker on it saying "If I am unwell please call mum and dad on channel 2". The walkie talkies worked really well and he could attend the club without feeling self conscious about it.

Had to see the doctor on board at one stage for sea sickness meds for him and the doctor went through his full history before prescribing. He told our son "If you feel unwell tell someone you need the doctor and we will come out through the ventilation ducts, we'll be so fast. You go and have fun." They rang next day to see how he was re sea sickness meds too.

It was all so much better than we expected. Feel free to pm me if you want any more specific details.

HAVE A GREAT CRUISE!:)

[ANSalberg]

Lisa -There are a couple of pointers. The crew will literally knock themselves out for you -I would take the time to explain JUST the way you have here. The crews are exceptional and if THAT isn't the case, you'll have dining alternatives LIKE the Lido or Room service .

The set up OFTEN is you will check the menu the night BEFORE/pre order things via your waiters -AND the menu is plentiful, so you should have no problem there -with THEIR help.

And GOOD luck, I'm sorry for what your son is going thru! Anne [ from Longmont!!!!]

[Krazy Kruizers]

One thing that I've not seen mentioned by any of our other great CC members is the Lido and Tamarind (if there is one, did not look to see if the ship has one.)

 

Wherever you plan to eat, if only one meal, make sure you take the Manager of the dining area and let them know ahead of time so that they will let their staff know also.

 

Remember these are awesome crew/staff who not only remember our names, but also our faces. So good to let them know so they will not over react to your son IF he has any problems.

 

Joanie

 

Joanie -- the Ryndam does not have the Tamarind Restaurant - just the Pinnacle, Lido buffet and Canaletto.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Normally I am a fan of fixed seating, but I was thinking that open seating rather than fixed might be a better option for Mntmommy's family. During early fixed seating, the waiters are on a schedule so they have time to get the tables ready for the later seating. The waiter may try to rush through the courses.

 

For open seating, can't you request the same waiters and table for the duration of the cruise? If so, there won't be another seating waiting for the table so the family can relax and eat at their own pace.

 

That is a good idea and I agree with you that after a point the wait staff will rush them in order to get the table reading for the 8 PM dinner time.

You can request the same dining time, same table for 3 nights in a row in the Open Seating. And then make the request again as the cruise progresses.

But OP mentioned that they will limit everything to 2 courses.

[kyriecat]

I noticed that the OP mentioned that they will only have 2 courses but I also noticed that she said her son will quit eating if he thinks he's slowing others down. I don't know how long it takes the OP's son to eat 2 courses. If it's approximately the same amount of time that it takes other people to consume the usual 3, then there probably isn't a concern about fixed seating. If it is longer than that, I would worry that her son would notice the tables around them becoming empty before he has finished, possibly causing him to become more self-conscious and quit eating. Also, even if there seems to be plenty of time between seatings to prepare, I have noticed an occasional "icy stare" from waiters if they think you are lingering too long with the meal. Those are the reasons why I mentioned open seating might be better for the OP's family. There is a constant turn-over of tables in open seating so unless the OP's family starts eating at 6 but doesn't finish until 9, no one will really notice how long they spend in the dining room. Obviously the OP knows her son's eating habits so is best suited to make a decision on whether open or fixed seating is best for him.

[Boytjie]

Alex really enjoys the dining room at dinner. He's bummed we're taking his suit, and not his tux, this trip, but those tux collars constrict too much.

 

If he can wear a regular collared shirt and tie, take a white shirt and get him a regular black tie. ;)