Can 12 year old ,10 and 6 dine alone in MDR?

[gerif]

Everyone keeps focusing on the 6 year old and forgetting that there are two older children in this group as well. The 12 year old and/or 10 year old would be able to assist the younger one with reading the menu and going to the bathroom (although a 6 year old should be able to go to the bathroom alone).

 

Personally, I would feel awkward sending my kid to the MDR without me, but that's not to say I would feel somehow burdened by someone else doing so.

 

Would you send a six year old to a public restroom alone? I sure wouldn't. And the older two are boys - so would they take her to the men's room?

[jannandjohn]

REALLY? Oh my gosh I would have totally eaten that up as a kid!! My aunt used to take me to the ballet and opera, I was well socialized with adults, . !

your operative words are BEING WITH ADULTS...;)

[sarafinadh]

FWTW;

 

I never bought into the milk carton dramas and allowed my daughter (now 18) as much latitude as I had as a girl.

 

At 12 I was babysitting children younger than 6 and got paid for it.

 

I think that a 12 year old is more than capable of shepherding the younger sibs to dinner. Especially to a dinning room that they have been to before, to a table they have sat at, with people they are acquainted with and a waiter who knows them.

 

That doesn't mean you are expecting those peripheral people to be caretakers, just that those circumstances make this idea particularly reasonable in my opinion.

 

Not as if you are going over hill and dale to a party in a galaxy far far away... You will be on-board and available if they need you for some reason and easy to find should the occasion arise.

 

The world is just not that scary a place in my experience...

[ducklite]

FWTW;

 

I never bought into the milk carton dramas and allowed my daughter (now 18) as much latitude as I had as a girl.

 

At 12 I was babysitting children younger than 6 and got paid for it.

 

I think that a 12 year old is more than capable of shepherding the younger sibs to dinner. Especially to a dinning room that they have been to before, to a table they have sat at, with people they are acquainted with and a waiter who knows them.

 

That doesn't mean you are expecting those peripheral people to be caretakers, just that those circumstances make this idea particularly reasonable in my opinion.

 

Not as if you are going over hill and dale to a party in a galaxy far far away... You will be on-board and available if they need you for some reason and easy to find should the occasion arise.

 

The world is just not that scary a place in my experience...

 

I tend to agree on some of your points, however I think that the table mates must be considered and if I were a table mate I would absolutely feel imposed upon. They are CHILDREN regardless of how "mature" they might be, and I see no way of getting around the appearance of being expected to babysit. If there are no table mates and you are absolutely sure your children can handle themselves, it might be a different story, however I'd plan on an extra tip, because there's no way the servers aren't going to give them extra service.

[Alaskanb]

My answer is no --place them in a camp environment where there is a designated adult (s) responsible for all the children. Adjust your eating time accordingly.

[Sea42]

 

At 12 I was babysitting children younger than 6 and got paid for it.

 

 

I, too, babysat at age 12. But I never took those children out of their home to have dinner at a grown up restaurant with several hundred people I didn't know.

[sparky-elpaso]

I, too, babysat at age 12. But I never took those children out of their home to have dinner at a grown up restaurant with several hundred people I didn't know.

 

Me too - at a neighbors just a few houses away from my house. Where my parents were home in case I ran into any problems. I didn't babysit any distance away from home until I was 14 or so. 12 year olds aren't small adults - no matter how "mature" they are they don't have the experience to know how to handle out of the ordinary situations.

[LegalCat]

I do agree that it may not be as unsafe as it potentially could be... yes they are in a somewhat controlled environment etc.. but how is a total stranger going to know if something is wrong, or if something is ok? You can't KNOW your tablemates.. I'm sorry, but spending a few nights having dinner with total strangers does NOT mean you know them....

 

But allow me to share a small story... last year around thanksgiving I was at home depot buying my Christmas tree... the line was very long and wasn't moving... people were getting help loading their trees up etc... while I was waiting a woman with two young boys pushed her cart up behind me and then apparently remembered she had forgotten something... the line wasn't moving so I guess she felt like she had time to go and get the missing item... She left the two boys alone IN the cart and went off... she didn't say a word to anyone else around... I would say the boys were 5 and 6 or maybe 6 and 7... even though she had not asked me to look after her kids while she was gone, I immediately felt uncomfortable that they had been left alone... I didn't approach them or anything like that, but I did turn so I could watch them...

 

After a few minutes an older man came up and started talking to the children.... he started saying things like "hello little boy, what is your name, aren't you boys really cute, I'm going to buy you and take you home... how much would it cost for cute little boys like you... are you a pair, do I have to buy both of you?" and things like that, he also started patting them on the head.... The two boys seemed fine, but it was impossible to tell if they knew the man or if he was a stranger, they didn't seem scared but they were kind of ignoring him... I was starting to have a mini panic attack... this guy was raising major red flags and I had no idea what to do... I was trying to decide if I should approach the man directly, approach a close by store employee and have him assist or what... then I saw the mom coming back down the isle... I frantically waved at her and flagged her over... as she approached she saw the man talked to the kids and went up and said "ha ha dad, very funny, your clearly freaking this woman out"... Apparently the man was the kids grandfather and liked to play those kind of "jokes"...

[CanWeGoYet?]

Mom and Grandpa sound a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. Really not a funny joke, considering the kids you hear go missing nearly every day.

[LegalCat]

Mom and Grandpa sound a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. Really not a funny joke, considering the kids you hear go missing nearly every day.

 

I couldn't agree more!!!

[robbielyn]

Whatever happened to family time at dinner? I am stunned you would leave your kids to eat alone. They are your kids you are bringing them on a cruise children belong with their parents. If you want alone time you should either leave them at home with a capable sitter or bring a sitter with you that is an adult. Otherwise they are your kids your responsibility. Sorry if this sounds harsh. Im just stunned this is even a consideration. Camp is ok obviously but dinner alone? No way. Sorry. I will at least give you kudos for checking with other people. No question is a stupid one. :)

[luvtheships]

Everyone keeps focusing on the 6 year old and forgetting that there are two older children in this group as well. The 12 year old and/or 10 year old would be able to assist the younger one with reading the menu and going to the bathroom (although a 6 year old should be able to go to the bathroom alone).

 

Personally, I would feel awkward sending my kid to the MDR without me, but that's not to say I would feel somehow burdened by someone else doing so.

of course a 6yo can use the bathroom alone...at home or at school.....not on a huge cruise ship.

 

Would anyone in their right mind let a 6yo use the bathroom at the Mall alone? Or in a restaurant?

[sparky-elpaso]

Mom and Grandpa sound a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. Really not a funny joke, considering the kids you hear go missing nearly every day.

 

They're lucky store security wasn't around - could have had an interesting time trying to explain.

[cindyleigh]

FWTW;

 

I never bought into the milk carton dramas and allowed my daughter (now 18) as much latitude as I had as a girl.

 

At 12 I was babysitting children younger than 6 and got paid for it.

 

I think that a 12 year old is more than capable of shepherding the younger sibs to dinner. Especially to a dinning room that they have been to before, to a table they have sat at, with people they are acquainted with and a waiter who knows them.

 

That doesn't mean you are expecting those peripheral people to be caretakers, just that those circumstances make this idea particularly reasonable in my opinion.

 

Not as if you are going over hill and dale to a party in a galaxy far far away... You will be on-board and available if they need you for some reason and easy to find should the occasion arise.

 

The world is just not that scary a place in my experience...

I bet the parents grieving over missing children would object to the phrase "milk carton drama".

Why would you think it is reasonable to expect others to be your de facto child minders?

If I'm going to be seated at a table consisting of more than my own traveling companions, I'm looking forward to meeting other adults and having adult conversation. I don't want to show up to my table and find other people's children sans parents.

[scarlett81]

Like a PP said, I'm not worried about the kids...it would be ME that wouldn't be able to relax the whole time. I'm sure your kids would fine and doted on. Can't speak to your 6 yo-if you have confidence that he/she's be fine, now thats impressive! I'm a mom-no way would I trust a 6 yo at dinner alone. (Actually, the thought to me is hysterically funny-for my family, it would definitely need a hidden camera.)

 

I know the older ones don't 'need' a sitter, but I'd let the kids get whatever they want on room service, let them have movie night, maybe get them a special toy or something in port that day and keep them in the cabin-alone, if you feel comfortable, but for my kids a 6 yo would need a sitter. You know your kids.

 

Have a great cruise!

[Gathina]

Regardless if it allowed or not, I dont think I would, for safety reasons mentioned.

 

They may not like the food and prefer something else, but I am probably one of those rare people from the camp that says "The parents are in charge, not the kids. If you do not like the food, then you can still sit at the table. If your hungry, you eat it. If your not, you get a peanut butter sandwich later."

 

Like I said, it's my opinion only and I was raised in the old school camp. There's also the part of me that feels its a good experience for children to be taught to try something out of their comfort zone and learn to be in a situation that is not entirely what they want, for that is life. I would also , like another poster said, want my children to be part of a family dinner. If the situation is trying to have a quiet "mom and dad" moment, then the smart thing would be to make some sort of babysitting arrangment or think ahead next time you plan a cruise. I dont think anyone wants to be in the position of feeling responsible for someone else's child.

[Gathina]

One time there was a car parked in front of the Dunkin Donuts..engine RUNNING..with two kids under the age of 7 left alone..I walked into the shop, stood at the end of the line and yelled at the top of my lungs, "WHO LEFT THEIR CHILDREN ALONE IN THE CAR WITH THE ENGINE RUNNING?". An embarrassed mother quickly said "well, I had to come back in because he made my coffee wrong!".

 

Judging by the evil looks everyone gave her, I bet she never left her kids alone again.

 

I do agree that it may not be as unsafe as it potentially could be... yes they are in a somewhat controlled environment etc.. but how is a total stranger going to know if something is wrong, or if something is ok? You can't KNOW your tablemates.. I'm sorry, but spending a few nights having dinner with total strangers does NOT mean you know them....

 

But allow me to share a small story... last year around thanksgiving I was at home depot buying my Christmas tree... the line was very long and wasn't moving... people were getting help loading their trees up etc... while I was waiting a woman with two young boys pushed her cart up behind me and then apparently remembered she had forgotten something... the line wasn't moving so I guess she felt like she had time to go and get the missing item... She left the two boys alone IN the cart and went off... she didn't say a word to anyone else around... I would say the boys were 5 and 6 or maybe 6 and 7... even though she had not asked me to look after her kids while she was gone, I immediately felt uncomfortable that they had been left alone... I didn't approach them or anything like that, but I did turn so I could watch them...

 

After a few minutes an older man came up and started talking to the children.... he started saying things like "hello little boy, what is your name, aren't you boys really cute, I'm going to buy you and take you home... how much would it cost for cute little boys like you... are you a pair, do I have to buy both of you?" and things like that, he also started patting them on the head.... The two boys seemed fine, but it was impossible to tell if they knew the man or if he was a stranger, they didn't seem scared but they were kind of ignoring him... I was starting to have a mini panic attack... this guy was raising major red flags and I had no idea what to do... I was trying to decide if I should approach the man directly, approach a close by store employee and have him assist or what... then I saw the mom coming back down the isle... I frantically waved at her and flagged her over... as she approached she saw the man talked to the kids and went up and said "ha ha dad, very funny, your clearly freaking this woman out"... Apparently the man was the kids grandfather and liked to play those kind of "jokes"...

[midwife1021]

 

I think that a 12 year old is more than capable of shepherding the younger sibs to dinner. Especially to a dinning room that they have been to before, to a table they have sat at, with people they are acquainted with and a waiter who knows them.

 

That doesn't mean you are expecting those peripheral people to be caretakers, just that those circumstances make this idea particularly reasonable in my opinion.

 

As a mum, I would have a really difficult time seeing young pre-teen kids left to their own devices in the MDR. If they (unattended 12, 10 and 6 year old kids) were at my table (where I am seated or waitstaff), I would most definitely feel like the parents were assuming I'd be there to caretake their children. I honestly don't know how many other pax would be cool on pre-teens dining unattended or unsupervised. It would definitely raise serious red flags IMO.

 

Older teens would be a bit of a different story, but I probably wouldn't let my 16 year old shlepp his 12-year old and 7-year old brother to the MDR without an adult in our party present. Letting the 16-year old and 12-year old head to the Windjammer alone is pushing the limits.

[SpoiledTraveler]

I know this is getting away from the OP's question. But as the OP has come up with a great sounding plan already I'm going to ask anyway. Out of curiosity, do people's opinions on what age is acceptable to be without parents on board a ship, change with the cruise line?

 

Would it be more acceptable if the kids were hanging out alone on a Disney Cruise vs. any other cruise? Is it more acceptable if they hit the buffet rather than the MDR? What age would the oldest child have to be for this situation to be deemed

 

I'm just trying to understand the social customs of the community so that I can be sure not to breech etiquette on future sailings with my kids (who are much older anyhow). With so many different styles of cruises, do the customs vary from community to community?

[kitty9]

Just because it's a Disney cruise doesn't mean the child is any safer. All cruise ships are populated with a cross section of today's society, and we all know what goes on in today's society.

 

Being a former teacher, I can tell you from experience that even high school age kids can be very immature. There have been numerous stories of girls who are in their early teens being sexually assaulted on cruise ships, just as there have been stories of adults getting into the same trouble. I was on a cruise where a family's 14 year old daughter was allowed to dress like she was 30, and she didn't dress modestly, if you get my drift. And, she was allowed to drink wine at dinner. By the fourth day of the cruise, there were police on board taking away a crew member who had relations with that girl. But believe me, that girl looked way beyond the age of consent. Couple that with the "supervised" drinking, and it all adds up to disaster.

 

Personally, I would never allow any child in the single digit age group to wander the ship alone, and would have serious doubts of allowing 10 to 15 year olds alone on the ship at night. Like I said, there are a lot of kooks out there, and they do go on cruise ships.

[cindyleigh]

Just because it's a Disney cruise doesn't mean the child is any safer. All cruise ships are populated with a cross section of today's society, and we all know what goes on in today's society.

 

Being a former teacher, I can tell you from experience that even high school age kids can be very immature. There have been numerous stories of girls who are in their early teens being sexually assaulted on cruise ships, just as there have been stories of adults getting into the same trouble. I was on a cruise where a family's 14 year old daughter was allowed to dress like she was 30, and she didn't dress modestly, if you get my drift. And, she was allowed to drink wine at dinner. By the fourth day of the cruise, there were police on board taking away a crew member who had relations with that girl. But believe me, that girl looked way beyond the age of consent. Couple that with the "supervised" drinking, and it all adds up to disaster.

 

Personally, I would never allow any child in the single digit age group to wander the ship alone, and would have serious doubts of allowing 10 to 15 year olds alone on the ship at night. Like I said, there are a lot of kooks out there, and they do go on cruise ships.

We let our then-13 y/o girl and 17 y/o son go anywhere together during the day. At night we took her to the teen club and picked her up after.

[sail7seas]

I know this is getting away from the OP's question. But as the OP has come up with a great sounding plan already I'm going to ask anyway. Out of curiosity, do people's opinions on what age is acceptable to be without parents on board a ship, change with the cruise line?

 

Would it be more acceptable if the kids were hanging out alone on a Disney Cruise vs. any other cruise? Is it more acceptable if they hit the buffet rather than the MDR? What age would the oldest child have to be for this situation to be deemed

 

I'm just trying to understand the social customs of the community so that I can be sure not to breech etiquette on future sailings with my kids (who are much older anyhow). With so many different styles of cruises, do the customs vary from community to community?

 

 

No. My opinion does not change for one cruise line or another.

[SpoiledTraveler]

Being a former teacher, I can tell you from experience that even high school age kids can be very immature.

 

This is true. But you can't dump all kids into one mould.

 

When my 17 year old son is with his buddies I often wish that I didn't know him. However, he was also raised to understand what behavior is proper in which situation, and is often the "voice of reason" in his peer group. My 18 year old daughter has an obsession with all things "proper and protocol." But 17 and 18 year olds are not quite "kids". Even though that's how I still think of them. If they're old enough to enlist in the military and die for their country, they're old enough to eat anywhere they want to. IMHO.

 

My 12 year old... well, I would not let her go out without her siblings. Even though I would have trusted the other two at her age. My youngest is a firecracker and enjoys talking to people.. a LOT. They were all raised the same but they're very different people. You just can't lump all kids/teens into one category.

[luvtheships]

No. My opinion does not change for one cruise line or another.

well, actually DCL might be a magnet for those who might harm a child....just sayin' as it is prprimarily a line with youngish kids onboard.

 

 

Once when we spent a day at a kids theme water park...not Disney..but another well known kid's TV show theme water park.....I noticed a middle aged man walking thru the park all day...by himself..leering at the kids in bathingsuits....it was a smallish park and we saw him several times...we also saw him leaving the park and on the highway about 10 miles from the park again....signifying that he had to make a trek to get to the park.

 

He did not use the water facilities nor the rides...but just walked around all day...and no he definitely was not an undercover security guard.

 

He was odd looking IMHO..and would probably be considered odd looking by most reasonable, logical thinking people...trust me on this.

 

So...why was he there all day..by himself?

 

I am sure many here will defend his behavior....but there is no way that he was just enjoying a regular day..by himself...at a themed water park that is billed as a place for those 12 and under! There are many other places that a normal middle aged man could have spent his day....:eek:

[Gathina]

I would think the Disney cruises would be worse for safety...like a haven for pedophiles posing as passengers.

 

Just because it's a Disney cruise doesn't mean the child is any safer. All cruise ships are populated with a cross section of today's society, and we all know what goes on in today's society.

 

Being a former teacher, I can tell you from experience that even high school age kids can be very immature. There have been numerous stories of girls who are in their early teens being sexually assaulted on cruise ships, just as there have been stories of adults getting into the same trouble. I was on a cruise where a family's 14 year old daughter was allowed to dress like she was 30, and she didn't dress modestly, if you get my drift. And, she was allowed to drink wine at dinner. By the fourth day of the cruise, there were police on board taking away a crew member who had relations with that girl. But believe me, that girl looked way beyond the age of consent. Couple that with the "supervised" drinking, and it all adds up to disaster.

 

Personally, I would never allow any child in the single digit age group to wander the ship alone, and would have serious doubts of allowing 10 to 15 year olds alone on the ship at night. Like I said, there are a lot of kooks out there, and they do go on cruise ships.