Removing gratuities for waitstaff that serve shorts-wearers on elegant night?

[DeSaxMan13]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

1. 
   However, I still have a few questions:
   
   1. 
      
   2. On elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can I decide what is appropriate?
      
   3. I am traveling with a party of 40 but I am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do I need 40 separate items to place in each chair?
      
   4. If my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which I can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip?
      
   5. I enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here?
      
   6. If the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and I don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do I complain? Also, am I allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am I only allowed to loudly complain?
      
   7. Since I am cruising Carnival, and I am also a member here, if I encounter John Heald, am I supposed to mutter "Fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly?
      
   8. My friend wants to pack a lot of items that I have deemed unnecessary. Should I mock him privately or can I also do it publicly?
      

 

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

[fas64]

YES you can do all of the above

[shamrock58]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

1. 
   However, I still have a few questions:
   
   1. 
      
   2. On elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can I decide what is appropriate?
      
   3. I am traveling with a party of 40 but I am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do I need 40 separate items to place in each chair?
      
   4. If my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which I can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip?
      
   5. I enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here?
      
   6. If the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and I don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do I complain? Also, am I allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am I only allowed to loudly complain?
      
   7. Since I am cruising Carnival, and I am also a member here, if I encounter John Heald, am I supposed to mutter "Fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly?
      
   8. My friend wants to pack a lot of items that I have deemed unnecessary. Should I mock him privately or can I also do it publicly?
      

 

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

 

 

Are you for real...get a life

[RYMOMA]

you sir

have a great sense of humor!

[Shorex]

Is it April 1st already?

[paul929207]

Are you for real...get a life

I am confident that OP was trying to bring a little levity to our day

[aohkay]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

1. 
    
   However, I still have a few questions:
   1. 
      
   2. On elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can I decide what is appropriate?
      
   3. I am traveling with a party of 40 but I am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do I need 40 separate items to place in each chair?
      
   4. If my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which I can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip?
      
   5. I enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here?
      
   6. If the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and I don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do I complain? Also, am I allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am I only allowed to loudly complain?
      
   7. Since I am cruising Carnival, and I am also a member here, if I encounter John Heald, am I supposed to mutter "Fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly?
      
   8. My friend wants to pack a lot of items that I have deemed unnecessary. Should I mock him privately or can I also do it publicly?
      

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

 

8. RUM RUNNERS!!! :D

 

All kidding aside though, there are some very kind and helpful people on the boards.

[Goldygolfer]

Here in Australia we would call the OP's comments "taking the mickey" out of someone. IMO he/she achieved that goal rather well !!!!

[runnerandme]

May I suggest a squirt gun vs a bucket of water. You could aim for the cigarette!! Makes more of a challenge that way.

[beachbum53]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

1. 
   However, I still have a few questions:
   
   1. 
      
   2. On elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can I decide what is appropriate?
      
   3. I am traveling with a party of 40 but I am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do I need 40 separate items to place in each chair?
      
   4. If my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which I can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip?
      
   5. I enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here?
      
   6. If the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and I don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do I complain? Also, am I allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am I only allowed to loudly complain?
      
   7. Since I am cruising Carnival, and I am also a member here, if I encounter John Heald, am I supposed to mutter "Fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly?
      
   8. My friend wants to pack a lot of items that I have deemed unnecessary. Should I mock him privately or can I also do it publicly?
      

 

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

 

I'm guessing this post was written with tongue firmly in cheek? If not, I hope you're wearing a fire-proof suit, 'cause you're gonna get fla-a-amed!

[Friend100]

lol :rolleyes:

 

You have the right attitude (sense of humor), and seems you've done your homework. Enjoy your cruise!

[Dayenu]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

1. 
    
   However, I still have a few questions:
   1. 
      
   2. On elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can I decide what is appropriate?
      

Absolutely! This is why you bring yellow stick-on pages. You can write "no tips, loser" or "kick me" - your choice!

1. I am traveling with a party of 40 but I am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do I need 40 separate items to place in each chair?
   

No need to do it. Borrow a uniform from an employee, stack up the loungers, and sing something. Nobody will come close.

1. If my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which I can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip?
   

Cookies? I thought those should be sugar-less swans, after all, you don't want your steward to gain weight. Or do you? :mad:

1. I enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here?
   

Oh, absolutely! This will be most appreciated at a trivia contest.

1. If the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and I don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do I complain? Also, am I allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am I only allowed to loudly complain?
   

Don't you have hot cigarette butts to drop? Water is so teenager-ish. Use the content of rum runners for that, they won't complain :p

1. Since I am cruising Carnival, and I am also a member here, if I encounter John Heald, am I supposed to mutter "Fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly?
   

Sorry, I've never sailed Carnival. I am too adult for that party line.

1. My friend wants to pack a lot of items that I have deemed unnecessary. Should I mock him privately or can I also do it publicly?
   

Ever heard of Roll Call? They organize, forgot what it called, when you can visit other people's cabins. This is the best opportunity to mock not just your friends, but anybody you (dis)like on the ship! :eek:

 

 

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

 

I am sure you will have a pleasant cruise. Just tell us which one, so we can say "ahhh happy it's sold out" :o

[John Bull]

going on my first time cruise, and i've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what i need to know.

1. 
    
    
    
   however, i still have a few questions:
   1. 
      
   2. on elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can i decide what is appropriate only on cunard. No need, the maitre d will do that for you. It's called auto-skip.
      
   3. i am traveling with a party of 40 but i am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do i need 40 separate items to place in each chair? oh, my, you do have a lot to learn. Most folk require a chair in the sun and another in the shade. Better make that 80.
      
   4. if my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which i can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip? no need. You can steal them from the stewards' trollies in the corridors. On reflection, so can he. Pointless gesture.
      
   5. i enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here? never say anything directly to the offender, say it to your companions in a loud voice.
      
   6. if the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and i don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do i complain? Also, am i allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am i only allowed to loudly complain? fight fire with fire. You need a friend in the engine room
      
   7. since i am cruising carnival, and i am also a member here, if i encounter john heald, am i supposed to mutter "fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly? do it under your breath.this avoids wasting your breath, its all been said before
      
   8. my friend wants to pack a lot of items that i have deemed unnecessary. Should i mock him privately or can i also do it publicly? use your initiative. A big tip to the handler putting luggage on the conveyor between shore & ship should reduce his excess luggage.
      

thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and i want to make sure i do it right.:rolleyes:

 

jb :)

[smeyer418]

father had the ship fitters blues...

 

actually you should go into their cabin at night and take ALL their clothes...

 

If you come out in your birthday suit is that formal enough?

[dustinsspace]

Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

[penguinscott]

Aw, man. I was getting my soap box out for a bit of my opinion on some of your questions. Then I realized your day job is that of comedian and had to go and carefully pack that box back in it's gilded lily-box. I was laughing quite hard here in the library, having the kind folk glare at me with those beady little eyes of thiers. I wish you were cruising on my boat!

 

Have a good time. And don't go easy on anyone!:D

[paddingtonbear]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

However, I still have a few questions:

 

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

 

You have learnt a lot in your short time on these boards. I am sure you will have it down pat by the time you get there even though you only have 45 days until your first cruise. :D:D:D

[deladypilot]

Don't forget to pack a gang plank for those kids that giggled a little to loud and someone on the cruise did not expect to see kids. You can assist your fellow cruiser by showing the kids off the ship.

 

Enjoy your cruise, you will have a wonderful time.

 

Dont forget to come back and tell how badly you were treated and how you were upset that you thought you would be the only one on the ship and that did not happend :D

[newport dave]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

1. 
   However, I still have a few questions:
   
   1. 
      
   2. On elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can I decide what is appropriate?
      
   3. I am traveling with a party of 40 but I am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do I need 40 separate items to place in each chair?
      
   4. If my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which I can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip?
      
   5. I enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here?
      
   6. If the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and I don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do I complain? Also, am I allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am I only allowed to loudly complain?
      
   7. Since I am cruising Carnival, and I am also a member here, if I encounter John Heald, am I supposed to mutter "Fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly?
      
   8. My friend wants to pack a lot of items that I have deemed unnecessary. Should I mock him privately or can I also do it publicly?
      

 

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

 

Can't believe the highlighted comment on #6 hasn't been censored, this is an extremely offensive comment in the UK, and one I wouldn't want kids reading. Not that it bothers myself at all. It's all rather funny.

[johneeo]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

 

For such a large party, everyone should have a walkie talkie.

 

You will have multiple tables in the MDR, and with walkie talkies, you will be able to converse with those at the other tables.

[sparks1093]

Can't believe the highlighted comment on #6 hasn't been censored, this is an extremely offensive comment in the UK, and one I wouldn't want kids reading. Not that it bothers myself at all. It's all rather funny.

 

I think John Heald has used the term himself in his blog when referring to himself (or he has at least come very close to it).

[newport dave]

I think John Heald has used the term himself in his blog when referring to himself (or he has at least come very close to it).

 

That may well be true, but, it doesn't negate the fact that it's still an extremely offensive word in the UK. I have had general everyday words which we use in the UK censored on this site. So, the censorship should work both ways, especially has this forum is gaining in popularity in the UK.

[Suzieanna]

I have been looking at your Q no 2, and hoping someone would clarify on this point. I have generally used duct tape to connect the 10 or so loungers I need, but this can work out quite expensive - and sellotape is just not as "visible" is it? Maybe police tape would be better for me too?

 

I will still bring a roll of duct tape though because then I can continue to DIY some "box junction" no waiting areas for my own use later in the evening. This little trick has helped me no end in knowing I have a good spot to watch things from.

[sparks1093]

That may well be true, but, it doesn't negate the fact that it's still an extremely offensive word in the UK. I have had general everyday words which we use in the UK censored on this site. So, the censorship should work both ways, especially has this forum is gaining in popularity in the UK.

 

Oh, I agree that it doesn't negate the fact that it's still offensive, but if someone hears someone from the UK use a term (especially if they are applying the term to themself) then if they don't know any better then they are likely to repeat it, thinking it's no big deal (which may or may not be the case with the OP).

[Daisyloo]

Going on my first time cruise, and I've spend the last week or so studying up on this forum to see what I need to know.

1. 
    
   However, I still have a few questions:
   1. 
      
   2. On elegant night, is it possible for me to remove specific waitstaff from the gratuity pool if they serve people who are not appropriately dressed? And can I decide what is appropriate?
      
   3. I am traveling with a party of 40 but I am the only one who gets up before noon. Is it permissible to save deck chairs by stringing up police tape, or do I need 40 separate items to place in each chair?
      
   4. If my room steward goes above and beyond, is there an available kitchen in which I can bake him or her cookies as a nice tip?
      
   5. I enjoy helping other people by telling them how they are doing things incorrectly and explaining how they should instead behave. Is that allowed on the cruise ship or only on the forums here?
      
   6. If the guests on the balcony below mine smoke, and I don't want smoke anywhere near me, to whom do I complain? Also, am I allowed to dump water on them from my balcony because their smoking annoys me, or am I only allowed to loudly complain?
      
   7. Since I am cruising Carnival, and I am also a member here, if I encounter John Heald, am I supposed to mutter "Fat wanker" under my breath or say it to him directly?
      
   8. My friend wants to pack a lot of items that I have deemed unnecessary. Should I mock him privately or can I also do it publicly?
      

Thanks in advance for your help. I've never been on a cruise before, and I want to make sure I do it right.:rolleyes:

 

You are toooooo funny!! It's also ncie to see so many funny responses from people with senses of humour.