Advice/Information NOT Arguments/Putdowns

[Funsun60]

I have only posted a few comments, but follow the threads carefully as we plan for our cruise. The vast majority of comments have been very helpful: practical information, my questions answered, first hand opinions about the cruises/various ships etc. I thank everyone who has taken the time to answer questions (from both me and others) and give thoughtful advice.

 

However, there seems to be tendency for some of the threads to degenerate into arguments vs discussion; disparaging comments towards others vs a recognition that different people can have different experiences and should be free to express these varying viewpoints.

 

I think the majority of visitors to this site have the ability to read all posts and then make up their own minds as to what will meet their needs. I for one become suspect if everyone is thinking and saying the same thing. All of us view the world and our experiences through our own individuality.

 

I believe the "classier" a person, the better able they are to show respect to others. Posters get upset when individuals come inappropriately dressed to the MDR and see this as a sign of disrespect. I have no argument with this point of view, but I feel the sometimes rude and sarcastic comments on this site from some posters who disagree with what someone else has posted is just as disrespectful.

 

I have left other travel sites when the discourse has become rude and unpleasant bordering on bullying to other posters. I hope CC continues to be a good resource and does not turn other potential participants off by the tone and type of rudeness towards others that appear in some of the threads.

 

We continue to believe that we will have a great Med Cruise in the fall..all anticipation!!!!

[KirkNC]

Well first off have a great cruise and glad to hear you have managed to weed through the good and bad comments. CC is just like society, not everyone agrees and sometimes topics degenerate into playground behavior. My favorites to watch are smoking and dress code threads!

[kazu]

I have only posted a few comments, but follow the threads carefully as we plan for our cruise. The vast majority of comments have been very helpful: practical information, my questions answered, first hand opinions about the cruises/various ships etc. I thank everyone who has taken the time to answer questions (from both me and others) and give thoughtful advice.

 

However, there seems to be tendency for some of the threads to degenerate into arguments vs discussion; disparaging comments towards others vs a recognition that different people can have different experiences and should be free to express these varying viewpoints.

 

I think the majority of visitors to this site have the ability to read all posts and then make up their own minds as to what will meet their needs. I for one become suspect if everyone is thinking and saying the same thing. All of us view the world and our experiences through our own individuality.

 

I believe the "classier" a person, the better able they are to show respect to others. Posters get upset when individuals come inappropriately dressed to the MDR and see this as a sign of disrespect. I have no argument with this point of view, but I feel the sometimes rude and sarcastic comments on this site from some posters who disagree with what someone else has posted is just as disrespectful.

 

I have left other travel sites when the discourse has become rude and unpleasant bordering on bullying to other posters. I hope CC continues to be a good resource and does not turn other potential participants off by the tone and type of rudeness towards others that appear in some of the threads.

 

We continue to believe that we will have a great Med Cruise in the fall..all anticipation!!!!

 

From one Canadian to another - hello:) I totally agree with a lot of your comments but the sad thing about an internet board is that some can 'hide' and I honestly believe that many do not mean their posts to come out the way they may sound.

 

I myself have found just recently a post I made that I thought was encouraging that was not read that way:eek:

 

The sad thing is we can't see people's eyes or their body language - we only have the written word.

 

This board has done a lot to help me and I like to try to give back if I can.

 

I hate to say it - but I've visited a couple of other boards and this one is mild.

 

Enjoy your cruise and I love your thread:)

 

Sometimes I wish we could all remember to be grateful to the being we worship (trying to be politically correct here) that we can cruise - enjoy other countries - other cultures and meet the wonderful people we have on cruises. I feel blessed to have met some of the wonderful people we have.

 

Enjoy your cruise and smooth seas:):)

[496and706]

The internet and message boards are interesting, aren't they?

 

So many different opinions from so many different people. That's what makes the world go round. One massive thing to remember is that sometimes the reader can't see or hear the person to get the proper tone of the response.

 

This board is sooooooooooo mild compared to a lot of others out there. (Not just about cruising or travel, but weight loss or cars or religions or "Why is the sky blue?" or how to bring up children and breastfeeding-look what happened with that magazine cover last week for example)

 

 

Sometimes you have to read responses more than once to get the tone. Another good thing to remember is that some people might be sweet to your face, but put them behind a computer monitor and they become another person altogether.

[sail7seas]

I don't think it realistic to bring thousands of people who do not know each other together in a setting where they can express their opinions and expect all smiles and sweetness.

 

I, for one, would not welcome all that sugary sweetness but that's just me. I usually am fine with someone disagreeing and even with a bit of vigor as long as it does not degrade to name calling or out and out ugliness. The world we live in is filled with all sorts of people and we all 'are who we are'.

 

I fully agree about the possibility of easily misinterpreting or misunderstanding a post due to lack of body language, facial expression, tone of voice etc It's been my experience here that sometimes people read the written word and take away a message the author did not intend.

 

As long as any poster is abiding by our hosts' guideliness, different viewpoints and opinions are welcome.

 

IMO

 

[KNOT2L82SAIL]

Sometimes I wish we could all remember to be grateful to the being we worship (trying to be politically correct here) that we can cruise - enjoy other countries - other cultures and meet the wonderful people we have on cruises. I feel blessed to have met some of the wonderful people we have.

 

 

Kazu... beautifully said. :)

I have only been able to sail on HAL three times and I am so lucky and blessed and grateful for those times.

[Viesczy]

Sadly, as a species we specialize in tribal warfare above all other things. We gather up like minded folks and attack those who aren't like minded, it is human nature.

 

Positive or negative, I always try glean as much info as possible regardless of the skew.

 

My favorites to watch are smoking and dress code threads!

 

^agreed! I love how quickly those become flame wars, great midweek reading!

 

Back to the OP, I sincerely hope you have a great time!

 

When you come back, post a review under an alias and get a flame war going, please! ;):D

 

Derek

[3rdGenCunarder]

I think the mods on this board do a good job of maintaining a line between debate and hostility. Remember, if a post is really nasty/abusive, you can hit the triangle button. I have seen mods clean up threads that got way out of line.

 

This board IS sweetness and light compared to some others. If you want to see popcorn-worthy fights, look at the message board for a famous dance contest that had its semifinals last night. (I lurk there while I watch the show, but would never post. Some of those folks are scary!)

[JulesBee]

I would have to agree that as a newer member of CC it can be intimidating sometimes. I have chatted with wonderful people, and they are definitely the majority. And I have also learned a lot (more than I wanted to probably). But I admit if I see a certain poster or two on a thread, I turn around and run the other way.

 

For me it's always better to give someone the benefit of the doubt - the person asking for money on the side of the road might be a scammer, but I still give them a little cash because for ME it's the right thing to do. They have to deal with the consequences of their choices, just like I have to deal with mine.

 

In comparison, when a new person comes onto CC and asks a question that has been asked a million (and a half) times, it's just as easy to post a polite answer as it is to say something like "this has already been discussed. try searching".

 

I think a good rule of thumb (for me) on these boards, is if I wouldn't say it to someone's face, I keep it to myself. (Which might be why I don't post very much yet lol)

 

Thankfully this seems to be a great place in general, and those very few posters that like to bring people down won't scare me away. I like this place. :p

[jaguarstyper]

I think this site is pretty civil compared to some of the others that I participate in. Most posters are helpful and knowledgeable and I have gained a lot of insight and information over the years that has really allowed me to maximize my cruising experiences. For that, I am thankful to Cruise Critic.

 

All that said, there is a small undercurrent of intolerance prevelant here. Just search for a smoking thread or bringing alcohol on board thread and you'll see what I mean. But, I also think this mirrors real life closely as well. Being a smoker, I experience the bias and sometimes hatred towards us second class citizens on an almost daily basis. And, I always laugh when someone feels the need to post a snippet from a cruiseline's "rules" to reinforce thier argument. We can all read. Because its written in the rules, doesn't always make it right or agreeable. (I'm sure I'll get some heat for that comment, but I have always had a small streak of anarchism in me) I believe in live and enjoy and let others also live and enjoy. Not everyone on this site would agree with that. Then there are those who have to tell a newbie they need to learn how to use the search button. Really? You can take the time to belittle them with a post telling them to learn to use the search button, but you can't take one more minute and answer the question instead? I think that is ruder than rude.

 

And, I never realized how easily an entire cruise could be ruined before I read this site. My, this sure is a fragile form of recreation. LOL.

[solocanadian]

Being a smoker, I experience the bias and sometimes hatred towards us second class citizens on an almost daily basis. And, I always laugh when someone feels the need to post a snippet from a cruiseline's "rules" to reinforce thier argument. We can all read. Because its written in the rules, doesn't always make it right or agreeable. (I'm sure I'll get some heat for that comment, but I have always had a small streak of anarchism in me) I believe in live and enjoy and let others also live and enjoy.

Tim: Know what you mean about the smoking issue. We are NOT second class citizens. People who have never smoked don't realize what an addiction it is & I for one get sick and tired of reading their comments. I gave up my 50+ year habit 2-1/2 months ago. Still miss it terribly, especially after supper. I've put on 8 pounds so far and that ticks me off. However it will be nice to cruise this time & not have to worry about where to go for a smoke and receive that filthy stare that so many cruisers give you. Being a solo cruiser I cannot afford a balcony cabin on an S or R class ship. My addition cost me over $5000 a year - the price of a cruise or two. Smokes are over $100 a carton here in BC. Didn't mean to turn this into a smoking thread, but couldn't help myself.:)

[sail7seas]

Gail,

Congratulations on quitting. It's hard to do and you deserve lots of credit for kicking the habit. BEST Wishes you have a good quit and never again spend all that money for a pack or carton. Hopefully the benefit to your health will allow for many more wonderful cruises.

 

[3rdGenCunarder]

Gail,

Congratulations on quitting. It's hard to do and you deserve lots of credit for kicking the habit. BEST Wishes you have a good quit and never again spend all that money for a pack or carton. Hopefully the benefit to your health will allow for many more wonderful cruises.

 

 

Congratulations from me, too. When you get a craving, just think of all the money you have to spend on other things--like cruises--and how healthy you'll be enjoying them.

[hypercafe]

What I have a very hard time with is when I express my opinion like I was on such and such ship and didn't like it for this reason and get a dozen answers saying " Well I was on it and it was great so you must be nuts".

[solocanadian]

Thanks for the congrats!:D

[startwin]

I'm a reformed smoker, so usually the most maligned critic of smoking:D but I am so aware of how hard it is to kick the habit, I try to be tolerant, and simply avoid the smoking areas. I must say I was taken aback when on Half Moon Cay we discovered the clamshell next to us had a smoker... and a woman on oxygen:eek: We eventually moved because the smoke came into the back of our clamshell, plus I was a bit nervous about the oxygen situation.

 

I have to say that on the cruise we just completed, we never had any issues with smoking. Even the casino was OK, and the only time we smelled it was passing the Sports Bar. We had a smoker in the cabin on one side of us, but it never stopped us using our balcony. I think the smoke issue is always blown way out of proportion.

 

Finally, well done for quitting. I don't think some people realise just how hard it is to quit an addicting habit.

[jaguarstyper]

We had a smoker in the cabin on one side of us, but it never stopped us using our balcony. I think the smoke issue is always blown way out of proportion.

I tend to agree, but would never say that here. I've heard too many reports of entire cruises being ruined by a mere whiff of someone's cigarette smoke. So, it must be true. I often wonder how anyone managed to have a good time, or even survive back in the 50's and 60's?

[Seago2]

Agree with every word said here so I won't try to repeat, except to reinforce that this forum is very tame compared to other CC forums. Also, CC is very polite compared to other message boards. After a recent Bruce Springsteen concert I said to my husband "I bet there is a SpringsteenCritic out there...". Sure enough, there is (http://www.greasylake.org/the-circuit/), and I spent hours reading it. Basically- it's Cruisecritic for Springsteen fans, with smileys, and concerts listed like we list our cruises, and crabby people complaining about how things aren't the way they used to be, and people posting reviews with pictures and others saying "this shouldn't be in this thread, it should be in the review section", and newbies asking how to smuggle alcohol into concerts, and endless, endless arguments over what the best song/concert/album was. It was insane- I was watching my life (and 3500+ posts) flash before my eyes.

 

So we are not unusual in our squabbles, extreme specificity, or obsessions.

 

I stay away from dress code threads. If I could get back every minute of my life I spent reading those flamewars I would be a happy woman!

 

Two things I have learned:

 

People on CC are not reflective of people I have ever met on cruises. One group skews toward the formal and regimented while the other- carefree and non-judgemental. I will let you pick which is which :p.

 

The "ignore" function is marvelous. If someone is really getting under your skin, if there is no reasoning with this person, if they fly out of nowhere with words in bold and a strikingly bold avatar and say nasty things: ignore. CC will be a more peaceful place for you.

[sail7seas]

I tend to agree, but would never say that here. I've heard too many reports of entire cruises being ruined by a mere whiff of someone's cigarette smoke. So, it must be true. I often wonder how anyone managed to have a good time, or even survive back in the 50's and 60's?

 

 

The big difference now vs the 50's anmd 60's is there was constant exposure back then. Non-smokers were exposed all the time and got used to it.

 

I live in a state where no smoking is permitted in any workplace. Just about everywhere one goes is a workplace for someone so we are almost never exposed to smoke at home. We aren't accustomed to it and when exposed on the ships, it is noxious to us. When you don't smell smoke for months on end and then are exposed to neighbors smoking on verandas on both sides of you, it is disgusting. If you are able to tolerate it, wonderful. I am not. It is not a voluntary reaction.

 

[jaguarstyper]

I get how someone could be bothered by smoke indoors, but I really think all the reports that people smoking on a verandah can ruin a cruise is being a little dramatic. I mean even the slightest breeze should dissipate the smoke to very small concentrations. And, when at speed and out to sea, I simply cannot believe it can be a problem. I have noticed more smoke from the funnel than I have even noticed from smokers outside the ship.

[sail7seas]

I get how someone could be bothered by smoke indoors, but I really think all the reports that people smoking on a verandah can ruin a cruise is being a little dramatic. I mean even the slightest breeze should dissipate the smoke to very small concentrations. And, when at speed and out to sea, I simply cannot believe it can be a problem. I have noticed more smoke from the funnel than I have even noticed from smokers outside the ship.

 

 

I can't make you accept what some of us have stated here.

All I can say is whether you can understand it or not, the fact of the matter is, my DH and I have lost use of our veranda on one full cruise with smokers on either side. They seemed to always be out there and we could not be. Take my word for it or don't. Of our many cruises, there have really only been two that made our veranda just about unusable but there have been many where we had limited or interrupted use.

 

One cruise, we could never enjoy late afternoon sailaway as two smokers were in the veranda below us and they stood at their rail every afternoon and lit one cigarette after another and the smoke wafted directly up to our veranda. Of ten days, we had not one sailaway where we could enjoy on our veranda.

 

Believe me; don't believe me. Doesn't change the facts. :shrug:

Some people are more bothered by smoke than others and a smoker has no idea how awful it smells.

 

 

[solocanadian]

Tim: Love your quote from Readers Digest - how true.:D

[seaside sally]

Agree with you completely. Enjoy you up-coming Med cruise as well as the planning and anticipating--my favorite part!

[0bnxshs]

I don't think it realistic to bring thousands of people who do not know each other together in a setting where they can express their opinions and expect all smiles and sweetness.

 

I, for one, would not welcome all that sugary sweetness but that's just me. I usually am fine with someone disagreeing and even with a bit of vigor as long as it does not degrade to name calling or out and out ugliness. The world we live in is filled with all sorts of people and we all 'are who we are'.

 

I fully agree about the possibility of easily misinterpreting or misunderstanding a post due to lack of body language, facial expression, tone of voice etc It's been my experience here that sometimes people read the written word and take away a message the author did not intend.

 

As long as any poster is abiding by our hosts' guideliness, different viewpoints and opinions are welcome.

 

IMO

 

 

Well said, Sails. :)

[arewethereyet]

I can't make you accept what some of us have stated here.

All I can say is whether you can understand it or not, the fact of the matter is, my DH and I have lost use of our veranda on one full cruise with smokers on either side. They seemed to always be out there and we could not be. Take my word for it or don't. Of our many cruises, there have really only been two that made our veranda just about unusable but there have been many where we had limited or interrupted use.

 

One cruise, we could never enjoy late afternoon sailaway as two smokers were in the veranda below us and they stood at their rail every afternoon and lit one cigarette after another and the smoke wafted directly up to our veranda. Of ten days, we had not one sailaway where we could enjoy on our veranda.

 

Believe me; don't believe me. Doesn't change the facts. :shrug:

Some people are more bothered by smoke than others and a smoker has no idea how awful it smells.

+1

Truth. I just try to avoid areas where people are smoking. But, it's true. Smokers are so accustomed to the smell, that they have no idea how bad it smells. And, yes, I have left our veranda more than once because of smokers next door.