Cruise Ship Safey and Etiquette for Children

[mktmzm]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I have a question that may seem odd, but... I have a newly Single Dad bringing his 12 and 14 year olds (Girl and Boy) in our party and I need some help. He isn't the most clued in Dad and often treats his kids like adults. Can anyone advise me on helping him understand Cruise Ship Etiquette and Safety for Children? How would you all recommend that I guide him on stranger danger, running through the halls, cutting in line, etc..

 

He also has a habit of leaving his children with the Mom's while he goes off to the bar or other events with the other men. How do I indicate to him that this is not acceptable?

 

Also, he seems to think it is ok to leave the kids in the cabin (with a balcony) by themselves for a couple of hours in the late evening while he has a few drinks with they guys. This HORRIFIES ME. He seems to think that since he does it at home sometimes, that is ok on cruise ship?

 

Am I just being overly protective or can some of you offer suggestions about how to approach him with the best practices for child supervision on a cruise ship?

[bouhunter]

You may be able to protect them on the ship, but it sounds like they've got several more years of poor parenting ahead of them.

How to approach him seems pretty simple, sit down and have a talk about these things, and hope he listens.

 

""How do I indicate to him that this is not acceptable?"" - tell him it's not........... :rolleyes:

[ksuds]

You can also recommend Adventure Ocean. I don't have kids, so am not sure of the times you can leave children.

[setsail]

Read the guest conduct policy http://www.royalcaribbean.com/customersupport/faq/details.do?pagename=frequently_asked_questions&pnav=5&pnav=2&faqSubjectName=Onboard+Policies&faqId=4940&faqSubjectId=333&faqType=faq

 

+common sense

[gerif]

You will get tons of information over on the Family boards. Sorry, can't post a link from my phone but it's under Special Interest cruising. Someone even has a contract they make their kids sign with things like never go into someone else's cabin and stuff like that.

[mktmzm]

You will get tons of information over on the Family boards. Sorry, can't post a link from my phone but it's under Special Interest cruising. Someone even has a contract they make their kids sign with things like never go into someone else's cabin and stuff like that.

 

Thank you so much. My DH and I were unable to be parents and I have no clue as to how to make suggestions to my BIL that won't be seemed offensive.

[boulders]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I have a question that may seem odd, but... I have a newly Single Dad bringing his 12 and 14 year olds (Girl and Boy) in our party and I need some help. He isn't the most clued in Dad and often treats his kids like adults. Can anyone advise me on helping him understand Cruise Ship Etiquette and Safety for Children? How would you all recommend that I guide him on stranger danger, running through the halls, cutting in line, etc..

 

He also has a habit of leaving his children with the Mom's while he goes off to the bar or other events with the other men. How do I indicate to him that this is not acceptable?

 

Also, he seems to think it is ok to leave the kids in the cabin (with a balcony) by themselves for a couple of hours in the late evening while he has a few drinks with they guys. This HORRIFIES ME. He seems to think that since he does it at home sometimes, that is ok on cruise ship?

 

Am I just being overly protective or can some of you offer suggestions about how to approach him with the best practices for child supervision on a cruise ship?

 

You are being overly protective. A 12 and 14 year old should be perfectly capable of taking care of themselves for several hours. They are too old for Adventure Ocean, by the way. They are old enough for the teens club.

[fischymom]

Just my opinion but I allow my 13 yr old some freedom on ship with knowledge where they were and where I was and that he had to check in with me at certain times each day.

Maybe approach this from "I did research and most of the parents on ship allow the children this amount of freedom with the regulation of ....... when it is their first cruise" and not from here is a better way to parent? That way you give the info from children's rules perspective. Hope this helps.

[bellemiche]

While "they should be perfectly capable of taking care of themselves," and you would like to think that everyone on the ship is wonderful, it's also other people you might need to worry about!

Sorry, but if it's supposed to be a family vacation with his kids, then he should be spending time with his kids.

[cb at sea]

Apparently, the kids have gotten along with this sort of parenting so far....and they're ok!

 

You could volunteer to watch his kids for him....otherwise, let him do it his way! At that age, kids should be able to take care of themselves for short periods!

 

All kids need to know never to go to ANYONE elses cabin, and NO ONE should enter their cabin while they're alone...never! You could tell the kids that, if the father doesn't!

 

And, on the ship is not like at home....kids may come into the bars, so if needed, they can find their dad quite easily.

 

And, a "family vacation" doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip 24/7!

[cruisnseas]

Why can the kids not stay alone for a few hours at 12 and 14? And what, exactly, is wrong with having some adult time on a family vacation? You want to teach the kids to be responsible and independent - you don't need them glued to your hip at that age.

 

Set timelines and boundaries. But give them some freedom. I think you are being overly critical of his parenting.

[geocruiser]

Hi,

 

If you want to know why it is important to know where your children are , read this thread

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1754633

[cruisnseas]

Hi,

 

If you want to know why it is important to know where your children are , read this thread

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1754633

 

Oh good gracious. Let's stop the fear mongering, ok? Yes there was a creeper with child porn on a cruise. And, if found guilty, he will hopefully be tossed in prison. That said, that has no bearing on why a 12 and 14 year old cannot stay alone in a cabin for a few hours.

[sleepless]

The 12 and 14 year old should be able to stay in their cabin with a balcony:eek: for a bit of time without constant supervision. They are old enough to know and to understand what not to do on the balcony. They should also be able to spend some time alone while did visits a bar.

 

You indicated that you were going to be with a group, and the the BIL tends to leave his kids with the "moms" while he visits a bar with the dads. Maybe you don't want to babysit the kids (who really don't need babysitting at their ages), but perhaps the other "moms" don't really care. Let those mom's watch them.

[reney313]

We just recently took a cruise with my sister's family--niece, 9 and nephew 15.

 

I was a little apprehensive because my sister can sometimes be very distracted and my niece gets scared very easily. My nephew seems to attract dumb decisions and while he doesn't get in "bad" trouble, he's been known to not think things through.

 

What I learned:

 

1. We only saw the 15 year old for dinner. He met other kids his age (13-16) and they all hung out together. Fortunately, they were all previous cruisers and steered him clear of trouble. In addition, they were all well behaved. I was certainly more afraid then I needed to be. I saw them around the ship many times (mostly on the sports court playing Basketball, volleyball, etc. And then in the Promenade eating, etc). They weren't hanging out in stair wells or doing anything "bad".

 

2. My niece did indeed get "lost" on the first sea day. I about had a heart attack. Her mom, 2 grandmas, grandfather and myself were in the art auction--she did not know that as she was with her dad and brother. I decided to leave the auction and go check on Mike (her dad) as I knew he wanted to participate in the poker tournament and it was getting ready to start. I figured he would need to hand her off to a family member. I went up to the pool deck where they were earlier and eyed my nephew pretty quickly (by the ice cream machine). I asked him where his dad was. He said "in the casino".

 

I then about flipped out when I asked where his sister was because I knew for a fact she wasn't with the rest of us...and doubted her dad would take her to the casino. My nephew then responded "I don't know, she went looking for dad" "WHAT! By herself! UGH". That was followed by "when, how, what the HECK". He told me "Dad, left her with me and I was playing basketball. She told me she was going to go find dad. ". Me: "You let her go by HERSELF!!". We immediately ran to the casino--not there--didn't interrupt dad. Then up to deck 10 to their cabin. Not there. Then down 2 decks to the Library (he thought she might be there?). Then scanned the promenade. Then saw her in the glass elevator, going down! Shew..relief. She was with a RCI employee. She realized she got lost and found someone with a name tag and told him "Hi, I'm lost, can you help me?". He was on the way with her to guest services. Heart attack averted. I then promptly gave them house rules as I walking her to her mom. (1. Never leave by yourself. If you are watching her, then you go with her anywhere, blah blah blah..Aunt Amy lecture!) Then I handed her off to her mom in the art auction, went to Boleros for a stiff drink without family!

 

Anyway, the moral there is that kids are smarter than we think sometimes. Although I do maintain 9 is too young to walk around unattended, I think 12 and 14 is fine. In addition, it provides an opportunity in a semi controlled environment to see how they handle different situations. There should be guidelines set up front and quality family time. But, I don't see any problems with dad having some alone time either. Most likely the girls will find others their age to be with. The teen lounge area is nice and welcoming on the ships as well.

 

The point about a balcony is a wise one. I would suspect there should be ground rules as well about being on the balcony when dad is not around. My sister's family did not have a balcony so no concern there. It would be about impossible for a child/teenager/adult to "fall off" a balcony, but I would ask that they do not go out alone.

 

The father likely knows the kids best and if he has treated them as adults for awhile, then they are also likely more mature for their age and can handle the "freedom". In my story above about my niece, my #1 concern was her being scared somewhere by herself. My #2 concern was that "noise in my head" about strangers and pedophiles. I don't think that is likely but there are perverts everywhere. The best advice for the 2 girls is to make sure they are never alone--as long as they are together or with others, then that should not be an issue.

[DrD]

12 and 14 is pretty old, I left my kids alone in cabin at a much younger age than that. Yes with a balcony.

 

As far as the other, if his kids don't know about not cutting lines etc not sure they're salvagable. If they weren't raised to know that's wrong I don't think you can change them in 1 week.

 

As others have said if he needs babysitters then Adventure Ocean is the way to go. It's free.

 

At that age though most parents would let them go unsupervised at least sometimes. Heck I've paid a 14 yo to watch my kids!

[SingingPixie]

12 and 14 is pretty old, I left my kids alone in cabin at a much younger age than that. Yes with a balcony.

 

As far as the other, if his kids don't know about not cutting lines etc not sure they're salvagable. If they weren't raised to know that's wrong I don't think you can change them in 1 week.

 

As others have said if he needs babysitters then Adventure Ocean is the way to go. It's free.

 

At that age though most parents would let them go unsupervised at least sometimes. Heck I've paid a 14 yo to watch my kids!

 

Heck, when I was 14 I'd been being paid to watch peoples' kids for 3 years already!

[reney313]

Heck, when I was 14 I'd been being paid to watch peoples' kids for 3 years already!

 

True--I started babysitting when I was 12! At 13 I was babysitting overnight while the parents went to a hotel room! I guess it goes without saying my parents had no problem going on vacation leaving me at home at that age. :( Times were different, I guess.

[Big_G]

Just a thought but maybe the OP knows these particular kids and the father a little better than we do.

[DrD]

Just a thought but maybe the OP knows these particular kids and the father a little better than we do.

 

Yet she's asking for our opinions, so we're giving them. She even specifically asked if she's being overprotective.

 

I'm sure she'll take our advice in the context of what she knows about the family.

[geocruiser]

Oh good gracious. Let's stop the fear mongering, ok? Yes there was a creeper with child porn on a cruise. And, if found guilty, he will hopefully be tossed in prison. That said, that has no bearing on why a 12 and 14 year old cannot stay alone in a cabin for a few hours.

 

Fear Mongering? I call it being informed. I never said a word about a 14 and a 12 year old staying alone in a cabin!

[cruisnseas]

Fear Mongering? I call it being informed. I never said a word about a 14 and a 12 year old staying alone in a cabin!

 

One perverted man on a ship is not a reason to insist you glue your children to your side. This thread is about (predominantly) whether or not a 14 and 12 year old can stay alone in a cabin.

[geocruiser]

One perverted man on a ship is not a reason to insist you glue your children to your side. This thread is about (predominantly) whether or not a 14 and 12 year old can stay alone in a cabin.

 

Wishing you a very Happy New Year.

[Kristi Williamson]

Depending upon the maturity of the children, a 12 and 14 year old will be fine in a balcony cabin for a few hours unless they are just unruly, misbehaved kids who would actually think it's funny to jump off a balcony into the ocean. I've cruised with my 4 kids for years and a balcony is NOT an issue if the kids have any kind of sense, at all.

 

Now, if you don't want to babysit his kids when he wanders off, then it's your responsibility to take charge of you and simply say to him when he starts to wander away that you aren't there to babysit and you'd appreciate it if he wouldn't assume that you are. You can say this in a kind, matter-of-fact way that doesn't come across rude...just you being in charge of you and not at his whim. Frankly, I find this kind of behavior to be rude to the nth degree and unacceptable, but that's just me. You aren't responsible for how he feels or his kids and that's perfectly OK to voice in a way that simply states what you will, and will not, allow as your personal boundaries.

 

As to the "stranger danger, cutting in line, etc..." that you mentioned, I must say that a 12 and 14 year old should already know this information. Schools teach this, parents teach this, etc... There's no reason that they wouldn't recognize at those ages that these things aren't OK. Perhaps speaking directly to the kids and "reminding" them of what is, and is not, appropriate when surrounded by a large group of strangers, would be the best way to go with this one.

 

Either way, I hope you enjoy your trip. There's no way in h*ll I'd let my BIL and his kids ruin my vacation. Just a thought...