Appropriate Crew Gifts?

[Katgoesonholiday]

That's a bargain! :D

 

Not when you are feeding six boys between 6-18years! Not to mention my DH!

 

Oh, and we also have accident cover and free comprehensive healthcare for all workers. My sister was working checkouts on weekends when she fell down some stairs at home and sprained her ankle. Her hospital visits and treatment were free, as was the follow up physio. She was also paid 80% of her salary for six weeks and provided with a weekly cleaner and someone to drive her daughter to and from school since she couldn't drive. Many years ago when my youngest was born (by csection) my eldest broke both his arms. As it was school holiday time and my husband couldn't take time off work, I had someone coming in for several hours every day for a month to help with the kids and the housework. The reasoning was that I could reasonably expect some practical assistance from the older child (eg picking up toys etc) but due to their injury they needed additional care instead - care which I was unable to provide due to the csection and having a newborn. None of this cost me anything.

 

And now that I think of it, I never gave Penny (our care worker) a gift! :eek:

[Karysa]

Not when you are feeding six boys between 6-18years! Not to mention my DH!

 

Oh, and we also have accident cover and free comprehensive healthcare for all workers. My sister was working checkouts on weekends when she fell down some stairs at home and sprained her ankle. Her hospital visits and treatment were free, as was the follow up physio. She was also paid 80% of her salary for six weeks and provided with a weekly cleaner and someone to drive her daughter to and from school since she couldn't drive. Many years ago when my youngest was born (by csection) my eldest broke both his arms. As it was school holiday time and my husband couldn't take time off work, I had someone coming in for several hours every day for a month to help with the kids and the housework. The reasoning was that I could reasonably expect some practical assistance from the older child (eg picking up toys etc) but due to their injury they needed additional care instead - care which I was unable to provide due to the csection and having a newborn. None of this cost me anything.

 

And now that I think of it, I never gave Penny (our care worker) a gift! :eek:

 

Don't worry about it remember she was paid fairly!:D

[Lerin]

I am worried that I would inadvertently give offense out of ignorance whilst on an American line where tipping (and gifts?) is common. Having not grown up with it, it's something that requires conscious thought and calculation and that's just not relaxing!

 

Personally, I'd prefer to be planning my shore excursions rather than special gifts for cabin attendants! :P

 

As you may have gathered from this thread, gifts are not common and in fact many find them to be in poor taste.

Nothing to worry about. :)

 

I too am curious as to where the op heard this is common and welcome because I'm wondering who is giving out such absurd information. Hopefully not here at cc.

[Karysa]

As you may have gathered from this thread, gifts are not common and in fact many find them to be in poor taste.

Nothing to worry about. :)

 

I too am curious as to where the op heard this is common and welcome because I'm wondering who is giving out such absurd information. Hopefully not here at cc.

 

I can not imagine that it was here on cc. If one cc member would have written this then 50 would have slammed them for it.:D

Edited April 11, 2014 by Karysa

[Katgoesonholiday]

Don't worry about it remember she was paid fairly!:D

 

PMSL!!! She was indeed! $16 an hour when I was doing the same job years earlier! And I really wasn't a very demanding client at all. I would shuffle round the house tidying up before she came! :D

Edited April 11, 2014 by Katgoesonholiday

[SeagoingMom]

Interesting thread!

 

I think the key point here is the tension between wanting to appear generous without actually putting too much cold hard cash into the endeavor. This is a very normal and human thing - we always wish to be seen as being more generous than we are actually willing/able to be. The problem with cash, in many peoples minds, is that it immediately and unmistakably quantifies exactly how generous you are willing to be - with no ambiguity.

 

I think this is why people often prefer to give a non-monetary gift:

- you generally spend less than you would ideally like to give in cash

- you can easily convince yourself that the thought put into it adds value

 

I come from a culture where tipping is something that only happens when you travel to America. Likewise with gifts for attendants etc. I guess a big part of that is that we have a minimum wage that is pretty generous by American standards ($16 a hour I think) and so there is no social pressure to tip.

 

Speaking as an outsider, I think that there is also an American cultural discomfort with being 'served'. Personally, I find the 'buddy buddy' approach that I have experienced in America to be quite off putting. Without wanting to sound like a snob, I want to be served and then left alone. If I want something else I'll politely let you know. This is not saying that my waitperson is not my social equal. It's just that whilst they are working, they have a role and so do I.

 

I guess what I come to, speaking as an outsider, is that I can see that there is a genuine desire to do something nice for ones cabin attendant without making them feel like they are socially inferior (ie a servant) by paying them. This desire also battles with the desire to appear generous whilst still not spending too much. It's easy to convince oneself that a $5 Tshirt could easily have cost $20 or that they won't recognize a budget brand of chocolate. But if I was a cabin attendant servicing 10 cabins, I'd prefer ten tips of $5 to three tshirts, five bars of chocolate, a key ring, and a cap for a place I'll never visit.

 

The fact of the matter is that they are serving you for the duration of your trip and that's okay! It's their job! And you have a social contract of sorts - they need to do their job well and you need to be courteous and not cause them additional work. If you do then you should obviously recompense them for their trouble in the way that suits them best. They are not your buddy and they won't be remembering you fondly in years to come, no matter how nice that key ring was. They are there to serve you and that's okay because it's their job.

 

I appreciate your thoughtful perspective. I am not an outsider, and I agree with you.

 

America, as you state, has a well-established practice of tipping workers in the service industry. Still, as you also state, middle-class Americans, at least, seem to feel uncomfortable with the idea of servers being professionals, with the same human dignity that anyone else has. Americans on cruises, I think, suffer from a sense of guilt for being served, for a number of days, by staff who are generally very attentive, friendly and conscientious, and who do not live in America and thus are not paid American wages (though they also do not have the high cost of living in America.). This is a completely different thing than most Americans are used to who would never leave a chocolate bar or a tee shirt either in lieu of or in addition to a tip for a waiter in a restaurant or for a maid (whom they might never see) during a one or two night stay in a hotel.

 

Many generous, kind-hearted CC posters just can't cruise without feeling that they must "help" the "poor unfortunates" who are slaving away for them while they (the Passenger) are enjoying a stress-free, pampered vacation from a (relatively) well-paid job. Many Americans feel guilty cruising at all, and are often embarrassed to admit that they cruise, and especially that they cruise often, if they do. Somehow many people equate admitting to having taken a cruise as "bragging." Read the boards about how people respond to the embarrassing and often guilt-inducing question asked by cruisers' friends, relatives and colleagues: "You are going on ANOTHER cruise?"

 

All this guilt and embarrassment add up to a motivation to do something for someone less fortunate in order to make one feel better about having spent money on a cruise instead of using that same money to alleviate world hunger. (I am, incidentally, not arguing here the ethics of actually NOT spending one's cruise money on the alleviation of world hunger...)

 

I think your observation is spot on: "I want to be served and then left alone. This is not saying that my waitperson is not my social equal. It's just that whilst they are working, they have a role and so do I." This attitude indicates that you have a good understanding of what the role of a professional "server" is in society, and you grant that server the honor of expecting them to do their job and do it well, with pride and self-respect. True professionals in the service industry understand their own self-worth as human beings and as professionals, and take pride in serving their client in a way that pleases their client without losing any of their own worth as servers, and indeed, enhancing it!

 

I wish that cruisers would look at their servers as professionals, treat them with dignity, and enhance their careers in ways that are meaningful to both parties, not look at ship service staff as children (stuffed animals, indeed!) or charity cases who are in the position to eat the crumbs that fall from the master's table.

 

I am not sure why is seems so hard, sometimes, for Americans to figure out that the best way to improve the economic situations of those who may need improvement is not to look at them as charity cases or even "friends" but to treat them with respect as professionals and pay them well for a job well done. In America, this means tipping generously for service workers, plain and simple.

 

I remember when my very sweet and humble older sister was about to take her first cruise (her husband planned it.) She was afraid she would feel uncomfortable being waited on and pampered by the crew. Instead, she loved every minute of her cruise! The way I look at it, someone (probably lots of someones) did their jobs well to make my sister enjoy being served as she did, without embarrassment. And I am absolutely certain that my darling sister showed respect and appreciation to those who waited on her by saying "please" and "thank you" often and by tipping well!

[LandlockedCruiser01]

I can not imagine that it was here on cc. If one cc member would have written this then 50 would have slammed them for it.:D

It was on CC, just not in our beloved forums. Here you go: http://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=261. And here is a snippet, with important parts highlighted:

 

It is difficult to think of that extra something to give to a crew member. One factor that comes to mind is the fact their contract lasts from six to nine months (some longer); thus, their weight allowance is limited and their luggage stuffed. If you have created a special bond with someone and want to show appreciation, know that crew members love gifts that represent you or your hometown, whether it's a fun T-shirt or unusual chocolates. Other great choices are an international phone card to call home, a $2 bill or a $1 gold coin (these are fun, but make sure the staffer knows what they are), a keychain from your home (I was given one from the Buffalo Bills Super Bowl game in the early 90's; I cherish it), a charm for a bracelet or a necklace, or a Mont Blanc pen. If you become close then take them with you for a meal off the ship, or on a tour. It is something from you. Just keep it small.

WOW!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

 

According to the article, it was originally written by Joyce Gleeson-Adamidis, the author of Cruise Critic's "Under the Captain's Table" series. She was a staff member and wife of Captain Adamidis of Celebrity Cruises. That's probably where the idea came from, I guess. The article talks about her work in the past tense, and she looks old in her photo. Maybe back in her time, that stuff was commonplace, and it was on a high-end cruise line. But definitely not in today's cruising, Celebrity or otherwise.

 

Either way, the article goes against everything people on here talk about! I've read plenty about giving $2 bills, T-shirts, and chocolates. But taking them out for a meal, or worse, a tour? That really takes the cake, pardon the pun! What was that woman thinking?! (I'm sure the crew would rather eat the free food on the ship, and use the port time to Skype with their families via the cheaper land-based wifi, and they've seen same ports of call countless times.)

Edited April 11, 2014 by LandlockedCruiser01

[iheartbda]

Why?

Just want to know where she got the idea since it is not the norm. Did she hear it from just one person, several, on a roll call?

Edited April 11, 2014 by iheartbda

[Cruisin' Chick]

I rarely read the articles linked to this site from their emails, but the few times I do, I often find statements that make me scratch my head in amazement.

[SteveH2508]

Some school staff rooms keep a book of classic student howlers.

 

I sometimes wonder if a book is kept below decks of 'most inappropriate gifts from cruisers'. It could also include 'funniest things left in cabins'; 'silliest questions asked at Guest Services'; 'most inventive reason for removing gratuities'; - this could be a comedy goldmine!:rolleyes:

[AppleApple]

Hi all,

 

I have always opted to give tips in cash. Since the Celeb quotes everything in dollars, must I give tip in dollars or can I give sterling and/or Euros.

 

Many thanks in advance.

[paul929207]

While the staff generally prefers US$, they will take pounds or euros if offered.

[navybankerteacher]

While the staff generally prefers US$, they will take pounds or euros if offered.

 

Of course, staff would take any currency offered; however if you are sailing on a ship which charges everything in dollars, it would make sense to tip in dollars. This would particularly apply if the ship were cruising out of a US port.

[Karysa]

Some school staff rooms keep a book of classic student howlers.

 

I sometimes wonder if a book is kept below decks of 'most inappropriate gifts from cruisers'. It could also include 'funniest things left in cabins'; 'silliest questions asked at Guest Services'; 'most inventive reason for removing gratuities'; - this could be a comedy goldmine!:rolleyes:

 

And so much darn funnier than the stupid cruise toilet jokes that so many comedians think are so original.

[ducklite]

On almost all American cruise lines, you can pre-pay your tips at the time of booking, rather than hand them directly in cash. This way, all you'll need to give at the end is a "thank you" and a handshake. I've even seen people exchange hugs with their waiters and stewards, but I think that's too much; plus, I'm a guy, which would only raise the awkwardness factor if I tried that. I reserve hugs and gifts for fellow passengers I become friends with. I have a businesslike outlook like yours: it's the crew's job to provide good service, and my job to treat them with dignity (which includes tipping them fairly).

 

 

I agree with this 100%. I am uncomfortable getting or giving hugs to crew members. I suppose if I had been inboard a world cruise for several months I might be more inclined to give a hug or even a small gift (if I had learned of something my steward or restaurant staff really wanted or needed, not just some random trinket) but for a typical one week cruise? Nope.

[ducklite]

Hi all,

 

 

 

I have always opted to give tips in cash. Since the Celeb quotes everything in dollars, must I give tip in dollars or can I give sterling and/or Euros.

 

 

 

Many thanks in advance.

 

 

When we cruised the Med we did a combination. The standard tips were charged to our folio. Room service got $2US for bringing my tea each morning, tipped in US funds so they didn't need to deal with coins. At the end of the cruise, we tipped half US and half Euros to everyone we wanted to give an additional tip to. After two weeks we saw that all crew got off and shopped at least nice a week in the various ports, as they shared tenders with us, and knew that Euros would be what they needed to make their purchases in land. It seemed like the best way to handle it, and they all seemed quite pleased with what we gave them.

 

In a US or Caribbean port, I would tip in US dollars exclusively.

Edited April 11, 2014 by ducklite

[emeraldead]

Wow what a first thread explosion! No worries, I never abandon my own threads.

 

Where did I hear it? I would just say "here and there." I've heard it mentioned here on various forums, various articles online and Things to Consider lists in all my first cruise research delight. So it may not be "common" but do know there's enough precedent out there for people to get the idea they should do something.

 

I've worked in service before and I know that both gifts and cash have their place but certainly tips are, well, where the money is. Good to know cruising doesn't deviate much from this pattern.

 

Will definitely continue to enjoy watching the thread and how it evolves. Thanks all!

[Elaine5715]

I appreciate your thoughtful perspective. I am not an outsider, and I agree with you.

 

America, as you state, has a well-established practice of tipping workers in the service industry. Still, as you also state, middle-class Americans, at least, seem to feel uncomfortable with the idea of servers being professionals, with the same human dignity that anyone else has. Americans on cruises, I think, suffer from a sense of guilt for being served, for a number of days, by staff who are generally very attentive, friendly and conscientious, and who do not live in America and thus are not paid American wages (though they also do not have the high cost of living in America.). This is a completely different thing than most Americans are used to who would never leave a chocolate bar or a tee shirt either in lieu of or in addition to a tip for a waiter in a restaurant or for a maid (whom they might never see) during a one or two night stay in a hotel.

 

Many generous, kind-hearted CC posters just can't cruise without feeling that they must "help" the "poor unfortunates" who are slaving away for them while they (the Passenger) are enjoying a stress-free, pampered vacation from a (relatively) well-paid job. Many Americans feel guilty cruising at all, and are often embarrassed to admit that they cruise, and especially that they cruise often, if they do. Somehow many people equate admitting to having taken a cruise as "bragging." Read the boards about how people respond to the embarrassing and often guilt-inducing question asked by cruisers' friends, relatives and colleagues: "You are going on ANOTHER cruise?"

 

All this guilt and embarrassment add up to a motivation to do something for someone less fortunate in order to make one feel better about having spent money on a cruise instead of using that same money to alleviate world hunger. (I am, incidentally, not arguing here the ethics of actually NOT spending one's cruise money on the alleviation of world hunger...)

 

I think your observation is spot on: "I want to be served and then left alone. This is not saying that my waitperson is not my social equal. It's just that whilst they are working, they have a role and so do I." This attitude indicates that you have a good understanding of what the role of a professional "server" is in society, and you grant that server the honor of expecting them to do their job and do it well, with pride and self-respect. True professionals in the service industry understand their own self-worth as human beings and as professionals, and take pride in serving their client in a way that pleases their client without losing any of their own worth as servers, and indeed, enhancing it!

 

I wish that cruisers would look at their servers as professionals, treat them with dignity, and enhance their careers in ways that are meaningful to both parties, not look at ship service staff as children (stuffed animals, indeed!) or charity cases who are in the position to eat the crumbs that fall from the master's table.

 

I am not sure why is seems so hard, sometimes, for Americans to figure out that the best way to improve the economic situations of those who may need improvement is not to look at them as charity cases or even "friends" but to treat them with respect as professionals and pay them well for a job well done. In America, this means tipping generously for service workers, plain and simple.

 

I remember when my very sweet and humble older sister was about to take her first cruise (her husband planned it.) She was afraid she would feel uncomfortable being waited on and pampered by the crew. Instead, she loved every minute of her cruise! The way I look at it, someone (probably lots of someones) did their jobs well to make my sister enjoy being served as she did, without embarrassment. And I am absolutely certain that my darling sister showed respect and appreciation to those who waited on her by saying "please" and "thank you" often and by tipping well!

 

Again, nicely said. You can also read into many folks who pull tips use the qualifying statements about "In their country, wages are ------, In the country, they come from ----- so they should be happy to just get $20 for the week for the privileging of cleaning my cabin, after all I don't make a mess"

 

 

It was on CC, just not in our beloved forums. Here you go: http://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=261. And here is a snippet, with important parts highlighted:

 

 

WOW!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

 

According to the article, it was originally written by Joyce Gleeson-Adamidis, the author of Cruise Critic's "Under the Captain's Table" series. She was a staff member and wife of Captain Adamidis of Celebrity Cruises. That's probably where the idea came from, I guess. The article talks about her work in the past tense, and she looks old in her photo. Maybe back in her time, that stuff was commonplace, and it was on a high-end cruise line. But definitely not in today's cruising, Celebrity or otherwise.

 

Either way, the article goes against everything people on here talk about! I've read plenty about giving $2 bills, T-shirts, and chocolates. But taking them out for a meal, or worse, a tour? That really takes the cake, pardon the pun! What was that woman thinking?! (I'm sure the crew would rather eat the free food on the ship, and use the port time to Skype with their families via the cheaper land-based wifi, and they've seen same ports of call countless times.)

 

Can you imaging any crew member turning down an item from the Captain's Wife?

[Karysa]

 

 

Can you imaging any crew member turning down an item from the Captain's Wife?

 

No I can not in my wildest dreams see a crew member tell a Captain's wife "keep your keychain or perhaps give it to charity because I already have one!".

[Donder1]

Can't believe I am jumping into this... but here goes.

 

We always keep the auto tip on, tip porters and room service staff and tour guides.

 

We are friendly, respectful and polite to all of the staff.

 

We don't make unnceessary demands, and we keep our cabin neat.

 

We fill out recognition cards when we feel a staff person has been especially kind/helpful.

 

That's it!

[iheartbda]

Oh no, it's turned into a tipping thread.:p

[Donder1]

Oh no, it's turned into a tipping thread.:p

 

No, not at all! Please reread my post.

 

You missed my point entirely.

 

What I am trying to convey is that all this business about extra gifts, extra tipping, extra cash, etc. is, IMO, sort of ridiculous. ;) I don't buy gifts for the staff nor feel the need to give them extra cash.

 

Don't flame me please..... to each his own.

Edited April 11, 2014 by Donder1

[iheartbda]

No, not at all! Please reread my post.

 

You missed my point entirely.

 

What I am trying to convey is that all this business about extra gifts, extra tipping, extra cash, etc. is, IMO, sort of ridiculous. ;) I don't buy gifts for the staff nor feel the need to give them extra cash.

 

Don't flame me please..... to each his own.

No, I didn't and my post was not directed at you. I meant the thread in general has turned to tipping. If I meant you, I would have quoted you.:)

[Cruisin' Chick]

Wow what a first thread explosion! No worries, I never abandon my own threads.

 

Where did I hear it? I would just say "here and there." I've heard it mentioned here on various forums, various articles online and Things to Consider lists in all my first cruise research delight. So it may not be "common" but do know there's enough precedent out there for people to get the idea they should do something.

 

I've worked in service before and I know that both gifts and cash have their place but certainly tips are, well, where the money is. Good to know cruising doesn't deviate much from this pattern.

 

Will definitely continue to enjoy watching the thread and how it evolves. Thanks all!

 

As I stated a few posts back, I've found some misconceptions and mistakes in Cruise Critic articles. Plus, people have posted links to travel articles that often will give wrong info (I suspect many of these writers have never been on a cruise, just as there's many travel agents who haven't been on a cruise, either). When I was a journalism student, we often were assigned to write about a topic that we didn't have personal knowledge about, and I imagine we would sometimes write something that wasn't factual (and didn't get caught by a teacher or copy editor).

[h_blond2]

Cash, cash and more cash. I really don't see why anyone would give their stewards anything other than cash. Cash is always appreciated and they can buy whatever they want or need with it.